The Chronicler
by C-Hablerie
Summary: Reality is law. Logic is king. Reason is good. Throw all these out the window and all you are left with is the reality you make for yourself. Some call me The Chronicler, and this is the story of the story I lived. And how I came to chronicle the Legend of the Straw Hat. "I have no idea where I am." OC/SI. T for Swearing&Violence
1. Chapter 1

_**This might be a mistake, but damnit, if it doesn't have the off-chance of being really fun.**_

 _ **But on the off-chance it isn't, go read**_ **This Bites!** _ **or**_ **Thirteen Red Lines** _ **. Hell, maybe even**_ **Ripples In The Pond** _ **!Those stories are way cool, cooler than most coolkids 'round the block. Especially those three precious munchkins who dared to dream.**_

 _ **Let's start this garbage fire with what all fires start from.**_

 _ **A spark.**_

 **-o~O-O~o-**

 ** _Chapter 1:_ Not A Drunk Walk In A Park**

This shouldn't be so damned familiar. The only solace I could get was that a small part of me at the very lest recogniced that habitual drinking in the late hours was not exactly right. At least, to most people it shouldn't be.

I swear, some people just can't hold their damn alcohol. Like that one guy who went way off the deep end of the beer pool, started mumbling something about ponies or something and puked on the billiard table.

Four words: Not My Fucking Problem.

"Why do we get the weird ones?" The Barkeep- I can't for the life of me pronounce his name so let's call him Bob the Barkeep -huffs while cleaning his hand of the strange wibes from that guy he just threw out.

I just let out a noncommittal grunt and take a large gulp of my pint. I can't say with absolute certainty I remember what is in it, but if it makes the buzz stay where it belongs I couldn't care less if it was cat piss mixed with vinegar.

Well, not that I should comment on the weirdness of the patrons here...

Is my dress blue? No, wait. That's the ambiguous alcoholic substance seeing shit. Still black.

"You shouldn't play with the customers that much," Bob remarks in my general direction, seeing as I was the only one still here, as he saunters back behind the bar counter. "They just drink the trauma away and go way overboard. I mean, I ain't about to turn down money when it strikes the table, but kicking them out when they're done is a hassle."

I let out a menacing yet satisfied chuckle from the back of my throat. A small grin was plastered in my lips. "Ain't my fault they're a bunch of horny dogs that try to chat up anyone that looks pretty."

I can proudly say that I only slurred marginally, despite the... Shit, what pint was this again? Eh, whatever.

"I mean," I continue, abandoning that strain of thougfht, a finger twirling in one of the black drill-curls on the sides of my head, "isn't it my duty, as a man, to put them in their place?"

Bob the Barkeep just sighs. "Just keep the catfishing down to a minimum next time." He picks up a glass and starts acting his stereotype by scrubbing that shiny goblet of alcoholic bliss.

"Ah-Ah!" I wag my index finger side to side in dismissal of such claims. "It's only catfishing if you invite them over first under false pretenses. I believe- *hic* -sorry. I believe they come on their own under mistaken pretenses."

Bob rolls his eyes at me. The goof. "Sure, sure. By the way," his tumb pointed somewhere, a line of sight which lead me to what any bar-goer dreads.

THE DOOR.

"Closing in five. Get your butt outta' here." That last part was nicely formed as a mere suggestion, with a subtle aftertaste of 'or else I'll show you how shiny my boot is today'.

With only a momentary grumble of rebellion I hopped off the barstool- with grace fitting of classy drunkard -took a moment to reorrient myself and get my balance in check. Then I walked towards the exit from Booze Heaven.

"Forgot the money!" Bob exclaims from his spot. I only respond with a raised back of my hand.

"Tab," is my succinct answer, to which the good barkeep just grumbles. He knows me well enough to know I pay those things. I'm a man of my word, after all.

Reaching the handle and pulling. Nothing. Noticing my mistake I push instead and then I am outside. A chill rolls through me from the slight late evening wind.

It's darker than I recall. Must be just around midnight. Makes sense. Bob's is the only bar that is open this late.

The dark isn't a problem, I know these parts well enough. It's a bit remote though. Part of the appeal. It's cut off from the rest of society. Gives it a serene and free feel. I fully admit to liking the atmosphere. One of the only places you can actually drink alone on the reg.

The moon is out, so at least I can see fine-ish. Could just start walking to the shit apartment, but I find myself feeling refreshingly whimsical. I blame the alcohol in my blood, but I can't for the life of me find any reason to not go with it.

There's a park nearby that I could walk through. Enjoy the sounds of the night and just relax while my head clears up. So, patting my dress of any residual dust and cracking my neck for funsies, I set off for a relaxing walk through the woods.

Perhaps, in hindsight, I should have awknowledged a small nagging in the back of my head that something was watching me.

The trip wasn't that long, just a four minute walk. Not that eventful, outside of my humming. Can't for thel ife of me remember where it's from. When I reached the part of the park where the treeline started I sort of started to consider that it was odd that I couldn't head any sounds from the area.

Not even the chriping of crickets which, while clichê, was still a common enough occurence that I started taking notice. After, like two, three minutes of some of the most strange silence I've ever experienced. And that wasn't the booze talking. Maybe.

Branches and leaves shadowed my path as I kept walking. The dirt under me didn't so much as crunch and I swear it was getting darker and darker. Suddenly my senses caught up to me and I stopped dead on my tracks.

I couldn't see anything anymore. It was so dark. Darker than anything I had ever known possible. I moved my hand up to my face but couldn't even see a faint outline. Even the moon was gone.

"What the hell is..." I muttered. Something smelled weird all of a sudden. Like... salt. But not quite. Definitely salty though. I shook my head to try to clear my clearly still off the fritz head and took another step. Imagine my surprise when the ground I walked on wasn't as stable anymore. The ground under my foot freaking tilted!

"Shit!" I cried as I fell backwards, hitting the back of my head onto something on the way. "Fuck!" I curse, curling up to cradle the back of my skull. Then mumbled a few more curses.

What can I say? I get irate when I'm hurt and cursing has been scientifically proven to ease pain. If anything, I am justified in my profanity.

Letting the hurt wilt away and turning my attention back to the fact that the ground had just fucking lurched from under me left me with so many questions. Most prominent amongst these was: "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?"

Which I, of course, screamed at the top of my lungs. I need clarity, damnit! But it was still so fucking dark and I couldn't see shit! Then I felt whatever I was now sitting on move in a pattern. Like something bobbing on waves of...

Hold on...

All of a sudden it got really, really bright. Bringing out another curse, my eyes shut close and my arm move to block the light. Seriously, what the hell is happening? First it's absolute darkness and now it's stagelights to the face.

I blinked my eyes slowly, forcing them to adjust so I could see worth a damn. At first it was a blur, but I could definitely see. The darkness from before had all but vanished. With one final blink I opened my eyes fully to see...

See...

...

"No. Fucking. Way." My eyes couldn't believe what I saw.

A sunrise lit the horizon before me, a rising dawn of a new day, which made no sense. I wasn't walking for that long, no way. What got me more was the vast expanse of the most scenic and beautiful azure I had ever laid eyes on. Just... Water, as far as the eye could see, sparkling under the rays of a brand new day.

It was... really, really pretty.

...

Wait, waitwaitwaitwait. "Wait! Hold the damn phone. WHAT!?"

I looked around and found out that the moving thing I was sitting on was a wooden raft. And as far as I could tell, I was in the middle of fuck-all nowhere, surrounded by the vast ocean blue.

...

Deep breath. In and out "... Okay." All calmed down. My brain wasn't that out the gutter from the booze. I wasn't in any stage that would make my memory black out like this and I'm plenty sure that this wasn't a hallucination. But that just left more questions.

"Let's see the facts," I started to speak out loud, mostly to affirm this... madness to myself. Time to be rational about this. "First, I left the bar and went for a walk in the park. Then it got really quiet and dark. And then I was stranded on sea."

... My head hurts. Way too early to be a hangover. That's going to be fun.

"The only plausible conclusion- no matter how obscenely unlikely or improbable -is that something happened while I was in that darkness." I reasoned. It was the only part of any of this that made sense, and that was pathetic. "But what was it? Hmm..."

I put on my thinking face: eyes closed, brows furrowed and my lips in a straight line.

After a full minute of thinking, I just gave it quits. Nothing made sense right now. I had no answers for any of this. But reality was clear. My pain made this being a dream impossible, unless I was in a deep coma, in which case, no thanks. I don't want to be depressed so soon. That's only distracting.

Taking another look at the raft I noted that it was surprisingly well done. Large logs tied firmly with rope. It even had a small mast and sail, the thing my head cracked against when I fell, I'd reckon. It was big enough that I could lie on my back and one side, arms and legs spread out and still have some space. Kind of a DIY masterpiece.

It was also really stable. The lurching from earlier must've been me walking too close to the edge. As I tried to not think about plummeting into the sea in complete darkness because I like my sanity, I noticed something else on the raft.

A huge sack that I had no excuse for not noticing before. In fact, I could almost swear it just appeared there moments ago because it sure as hell wasn't there when I initially looked around to get a hang of my situation.

Also, the bag looked... how do I put this? Sort of 2-D-ish. It was really weird. Like it was a cartboard cut out, but as I moved a bit to the side it definitely had dimentions.

"..." I was about to slap myself to make sure the alcohol wasn't to blame for this of visual dysphoria when I spied a look at my hand. Pale skin, almost chalk white with the fingernails painted black.

Yes, I had a bit of a gothic thing going. But that wasn't the point.

The same visual 'what-the-fuck' that was with the bag was also present in my very own limb. I moved my hand and fingers a bit, then scanning down the length of my arm, covered by the sleeve of my dress, even looking at the rest of my ensemble. A black dress with white lace embroiled on the layered hems and a pair of hard-tipped knee-high boots.

Everything just seemed so... Cartoony. Like a drawing. That's the best I could describe it.

... I slapped myself anyway. What I saw wasn't going away and even seemed to extend to the raft I stood on. All in all, all I could do was shrug and go "Okay" because I didn't want the headache from this particular piece of nonesense.

Where was I? ...Oh yeah, the bag. Focus on one thing at the time. Overwhelming the senses is the least that I want right now.

The bag was pretty standard. Basically an oversized brown burlap sack, though as I touched it it wasn't coarse so it had to be some other thick fabric. There was a strikingly white envelope near where the bag had been tied shut with a length of rope. Even had a ribbon on it, which made no sense with thick strings of anything.

Taking the envelope and inspecting it I couldn't find anything to indicate whom it was from, or for. It was just a blank paper envelope. Nothing out of the oridinary. I, of course, opened it and found a letter inside. Which I naturally read, like the invasive person I was.

 _Dearest You-Know-Who-You-Are_

 _I hate to inconvenience you, but I need assistance in a matter of dire importance. I sincerely apologize for this abrupt summoning but I assure you I didn't do so out of any ill will._

 _I've pulled you into a world cut off from yours, a different dimention alltogether. In this world of vast oceans I humbly ask that you live and survive._

 _I know this may anger you, maybe even bring you grief. But I implore you, please, consider this a start of a new life. This world has a plan for you and it needs you. I know you have what it takes!  
_

 _At the very least consider the benefits of this world. But be careful. Many dangers and foes of great power lie in your path. As compensation for the suddenness of this call, I've left you with supplies that you may use in your journey to even the odds stacked against you._

 _Please, be safe._

 _And please. Be happy again._

 _-E.V.E_

... Okay. Patronizing nonesense aside.

Another dimention. Summoning. Smells like insinuations of divine intervention. That won't do! I want something that is actually believable. Aliens makes way more sense than fucking godly machinations. I do not approve of this! Give me science and logic damnit!

And that so called identification? 'E.V.E'? Is this someone trying to mess with me? This seems suspiciously like someone is trying to make fun of me! But that must mean that this IS meant for me, if they made it so. Hmm...

Wait, there is an arrow in the there. Seems to indicate continuation. I turn the letter over. There was a bit more in the middle of the paper

 _I'm sorry. I lied a little._

 _Everyone else was doing it so I just wanted to try as well._

 _;3_

... Eye twitch. In extreme. Annoyance.

I crumpled the letter into a ball and threw it into the sea. Sadly it only after came to me that I really wanted to burn it instead, but what is done is done. Good riddance!

Wanting to not think about that infuriating thing, back to the bag. Aaand it is now that it hits me that it is huge. Like, the thing is almost taller than me! I mean, I'm 170cm, just for comparison. What, is that thing also a damn tent?

... Options for later.

I grab the top of the bag with one hand and make an attempt to gauge it's weight. Unsurprisingly, it isn't lifting for shit. The logical next step would be to try both hands to see if I can even lift it at all, so here goes!

My hands firmly grip the top of the bag, I take a deep breath and then hoist!

"Gah!" I cry out as the raft lurches in an unnatural manner the moment I managed to lift the bag even a bit, causing me to release the damn thing and send myself off balance in the ensuing movement. I managed to not fall on my ass with only minimally ridiculous limb flailing.

Holy hell! That thing is heavier than I thought, but still manageable, for a short while. And I am not that strong. Definitely not looking forward to carrying that around, if that indeed is something I must do. It also seems that just picking up the thing sets the damn raft off balance by, like, a lot. What, is it the supporting bag that keeps this thing from sinking or some crap?

I shake my head. Not the time for this. Let's forget the bag for a moment. I'm ashamed I have to remind myself that I'm fucking stranded in the middle of the ocean with possible starvation, death by **the sun** or a random shark attack waiting at any possible moment to snuff me out like a candle.

... Wow, I got sober quick. When did this happen?! Is this another mystery? Fuck that! I have enough on my plate as is.

I start scanning the horizon for any sign of... well, anything. A ship. Land. Anything. And 'lo and behold, there is, indeed, some green in the distance if I squint hard enough. Or it might be a mirage. In which case I might as well jump into the water and wait for the sharks to make happy.

Also, at that very moment the sail of my seabound trap catches wind and- I lick my finger and assess the direction of the wind -it is leading us to that very island.

"How convenient," I remark, oozing with sceptical contempt for this physical impropability. "How very convenient, indeed." Still, I gracefully accept that this is indeed happening.

Welp, seeing as the raft seems to be pretty much on autopilot, with little I can do to influence it, I might as well lie down for a bit. So I do.

Placing my hands behind my head as a cushion as I lie down, I glance at the bag in my line of sight. I could examine it's contents but right now I am not sure I want to risk this raft falling apart or something. Maybe after I hit land, granted that isn't a fata morgana in the distance.

That'd be such a dick move.

"Oh well," I sigh, letting it go. "Might as well nap. Was starting to get sleepy anyhow."

With that I closed my eyes and, through methods honed through many lonely drunken nights to perfection, switch my brain to sleep-mode.

...

I suddenly sat up, wide awake and alert at a horrible revelation.

"Oh shit, the tab."

 **-o~O-O~o-**

 _ **Prologue done.**_

 _ **To clarify some things right off the gate. Our Protagonist-kun isn't into anime(he barely knows it's a thing) and One Piece doensn't exist in his home dimension. Because I want to see what I can make up as I go with a character of this type(you-know-who-you-are) who has absolutely no excuse for**_ **not** _ **changing canon events.**_

 _ **Ignorance; The best way to fuck shit up righteously!**_

 _ **Prepare for, at some point, complete off-the rails action of varying variety!**_

 _ **Also, yes. Our MC is a male. Wearing a gothic-lolita dress. :D**_

 _ **-With Regards, C-Hablerie**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: My name is...**

My nap was disrupted when I became conscious of the fact that my right arm was feeling particularly _submerged_. Instantly on alert, I rolled away from the feeling a bit too fast, slamming my side to the damn mast.

"Gh- shit!" I spit out a curse, rubbing the side that stung mildly. I shot a look at my arm to see that good old righty was soaked up to the elbow. The black fabric of the sleeve clung to my arm in a mildly uncomfortable fashion, dripping water onto the wooden prison I'd found myself on.

With marginal alarm I realized I had started rolling in my sleep. If I hadn't come to so easily I could have rolled off the raft. A surprise swim might have sounded inviting, if not for the fact that I was still stranded in foreing waters. Who knows what lives down there? Not about to find out.

How long was I asleep for anyway? Can't have been more than an hour and a half, maybe two- No, wait. Not important right now.

And yes, it seemed that this wasn't some weird beer dream. I was starting to hope. Stupid, naivè me. You know that stuff is for kids with too much imagination.

But my luck seemed to not be entirely pissed off at me. The island I had spotted before the nap was close. Like, really close. A literal stone's throw away from my current location. Lots of trees covered a majority of it from the looks of it.. Good news!

Bad news: The wind wasn't blowing my raft closer to the damn thing!

"... Really?" I question the sail, and by proxy the wind, my sole betrayer. With no alternative I was forced to use the most basic paddling tool to bridge the gap. My own two hands.

So happy the nail-paint is waterproof. What I was less happy about was that the method applied to this problem was so. Damn. Weak! It took me, I don't know, ten-, fifteen, heck, maybe twenty damn minutes to bring the raft close enough where I could safely jump onto land.

But of course it coulnt't be so easy. Of course.

First I had to lift the big-ass bag onto shore, for the fear of the damn raft drifting off the moment I step off. I might not know the contents of that sack, but damnit, I was stuck in an unfamiliar, dare I say alien place! Fuck no I wasn't going to just let an obvious advantage slip right under my nose.

But remembering what happened last time I tried moving it, I needed to formulate a good way to do this. Though, with liberal application of Occam's Razor, I came to the conclusion that simply throwing the thing would be both feasible and effective. Just needed the right technique.

The motion was fairly simple. Raise the load and swing in an arc, letting momentum carry the weight over to the land. I didn't doubt I could do it. In fact, I was fairly confident in my physical attributes. Wasn't no athelete by any means, but I worked out. Somewhat.

Rolling my shoulders and neck, I rubbed my palms together, took firm hold of the massive sack and just did it. Slight raised, start the arc, gather the momentum and at the right moment, release!

Just as expected, the big bag of mystery landed onto the grassy land with some ambiguous noise. In hindsight should have considered fragile content before that stunt, but what works, works. Fragile things aren't that helpful anyway.

The raft was off balance, so I couldn't jump off immediately, but soon enough settled.

"Huh?" I raised a brow at the not sinking raft. "Guess I was just overthinking things." With a shrug I jumped onto land, abandoning that damned sea prison!

Damn, it felt surprisingly good to feel solid ground under my feet! I didn't even know I missed it until that very moment.

I turned to look at the raft, considering what to do with it. I don't think I have enough muscle strength to pull it on land. I could leave it be. Then again, it is also my only known way off this island, so I don't think that's a good course of a-

 _*PlaCHOMP*_

...

O_O

...

"A... I...Huh?"

Was... Did what looked like an oversized catfish just poke out the water and eat my raft whole? But how would it have- The size doesn't- it can't possibly digest-

"... WHAT THE F-!?"

A mass of noisy birds fly out of the forest behind me making a massive racket, drowning out the massive expletive flood I unleashed. Some things I didn't even know could be applied as curses. Clearly I must be an instinctive swearer! Hehe.. heh...eeh...

...

 _*SLAP*_

"Ow!" I cried out. Damn, slapping some sense into myself stings.

I closed my eyes tightly, took a deep breath and made a world-class effort to get my shit together. The previous nuclear-grade shouting helped a lot. I needed my brain to function for the foreseeable future.

"So... instead of being stranded in the middle of the sea, I am now stranded on an island with possibly hungry wildlife," I recount my situation for my own benefit. "Just... Great. _Fantastic_."

I am so beyond frustrated. This course of coincidences and random happenings were too fucking close to being a pattern. If a third "coincidence" happens within a day, I am flipping my shit.

Opening my eyes with a despared huff, I turn my attention to the much more pressing issue I've now been smacked with. Namely the forest this island seemed to mostly consist off.

On the plus side, it must mean that there is quaranteed to be something to eat here, and a high propability of holding fresh water. Lots of wood, leaves and sticks to make a fire, and the foliage should give decent enough coverage from rain. Overall, a pretty survivable situation. As long as I don't run into a tribe of savage little kids worshipping a pig head.

Damn, that book was dark.

Of course, given my outburst just now, I have good reason to assume that everything living on this place knows I am here and, quite possibly, wants to see how my flesh tastes like. So... that's a negative.

...

"I don't want to think about that," I think out loud, seeking to divert my attention away from plausible threats to my life. That I like living.

Me eyes sloooowly inch to the sack lying on the grass.

"..." I mean, I did intend to see what I had to work with after hitting solid ground.. Now, more than ever, I'd need anything that sack could possibly hold. And, if by some wayward miracle of causality, someone is behind this crap, they'd better have hooked me up with something I can actually use.

Because if not...

I shake the thought out of my mind. Now, let's see what this fat thing has in store!

Of course, first I had to mess around with the damn ribbon to get it open in the first place. I swear, ropes are not meant for this intricate bullshit! The knot is brutal to unravel, but I managed it. But now my fingertips hurt and I'm cranky.

Anyway, I finally open the bag up and my attention is grabbed byfar the biggest and most eyecatching thing is seems to contain.

"... Wow. Is this..." I pick up the object. Just about as long as I was tall. A slender wooden frame, finely crafted and painted a luscious rosy red. I could clearly see and feel the ridges in the wood as I ran my hand across it before moving on to the rod of metal attached to it. I wouldn't call myself an expert but... " Is this a damn long rifle?"

Astonished that I was basically holding up an old, antiquated, yet still deeply respectable firearm, I just kept looking it over in reverence. This was an old-kind of rifle. One of the first of it's kind, the first step to a more modern design we knew today. Even by modern standards these thing held up pretty well.

Though...something was off. On closer inspection, it seems to have been modified to use a cartridge system instead of the standard muzzleloading. Instead of steel balls and gunpowder it used more modern bullets. Load up a single cartridge, fire, eject and reload. Simple, precise, effective. Kind of a bolt-action modification then.

It was a beauty. The wood frame was made from... actually, I couldn't tell. It seemed really durable though, but I wasn't an expert. I just knew guns a little. Hard wood escaped me.

... Damnit!

Anyway, something to defend myself with. That bag better hold some ammo as well, or I will be appropriately livid. If it was sturdy enough it could also give a good whacking. Food for thought.

...

I might be more than a bit happy to have a gun. I just have such a deep respect for these things. Guns have ended wars, you know? I mean, granted, they start just as many... You know what, never mind.

FOCUS!

Taking a quick few minutes to rummage the bag, I came up with a good way to do inventory. Namely, use a brown cloth/tarp that was within and place my findings on it so I can inspect the contents in peace, without all the hassle.

So far, this is what I found:

Ammunition for the modified long rifle. A lot of it too, placed in these neat ammo boxes. By a rough estimate, around 200 standard rounds. And yes, I said stardard. There was more than one box, four in all. All three smaller than the big one and containing what I can only assume to be some form of specialized ammunition.

There were 15 bullets with an ominous brass design on top of their red tips. 10 of what looked like a shrapnel bullet, also with a red tip. 20 orange tipped ones. 30 bullets with a weird class-like tip that seemed to be hollow. And 6 really strange one that looked less like bullets and more like a black glass vial with a firing mechanism. The last one's box was filled with soft fabric, so I didn't want to risk breaking one.

And if that wasn't enough, I pulled out two adorable teeny derringers, one black, one white. Along them was a small pouch filled with maybe 20-25 tiny bullets for them to share. D'awww!

In case it wasn't clear I like guns, I like guns!

Feeling adequately certain that being armed was awesome, I made certain to remind myself that no, gun's weren't to be worshipped. Respect is enough.

There was even a harness so that someone could strap their gun behind their back and carry munitions around, as well as an ammo bag that could be attached to the hip. So that was cool. The derringers could easily fit in my dress' pockets.

Much to my relief the next thing I found was a gun maintenance kit. Oh, how happy it makes me! A gun's worth is parallel to the amount of care you put into it, you know!

I also found a fairly comprehensive chemistry set("This'll be fun!"), a briefcase filled with more fragile instruments, such as ton of glass vials(miraculously only one was cracked from the earlier throwing). Jars of chemicals and other sorts of mystery gunk that made my inner chemist excited, yet extremely cautious. Thankfully none were broken or cracked.

Also, for some reason, a miniature forge. I don't know either, but it could prove useful. Actually, with the right materials and maybe some help... hmm...

The next thing was a pocket lighter. A really simple one, made of steel. Nothing to use it on though. Darn! A pair of round-rimmed reading glasses inside a wooden case, for late night reading. And a pocket sized journal alongside a pen.

Insultingly no rations of any sort. Not a single spare set of clothes. Fuck you, supposed benefactor!

The last thing I fished out of there was a fairly hefty looking book with intricate white covers that seemed to be partially bound with metal for some added bedazzle. Thing was seriously thicker than my arm, though that isn't that much of an accomplishment.

Overall, a lot of mildly useful stuff. Aside from the fact I was now ridiculously well armed for a stranded person, I also now had a way to light things on fire, do chemistry, melt metals or glass and read a book without straining my eyes and keep record of my slowly declining sanity.

... I mean, there are some useful things there. And if it comes to that, that bag can provide tolerable protection from the elements.

But that brings me to what captured my interest. The book. I held the lofty bastard child of some poor tree in my hands and gave it a level look. " **The Codex** " was inscribed on it in stylistic lettering. Something was sticking up from under the cover. Opening the book up, it turned out to be a folded piece of paper.

Guess it with me now! Is it a letter? You bet it was! And I was not looking forward to reading it. But as a man who partakes in curiosity, I had to indulge myself to its contents.

Also, I need some damn clarity in my life. I hate not knowing things.

 _Dear, You-Know-Who-You-Are_

 _This world is an unknown one to you, and it is unfair to expect you to be unprepared. So please, use this tome, The Codex, to learn. It contains a great amount of knowledge, of both locations and people._

 _However, make note. The Codex will grow as you do. It is tied to your journey, so it will expand as you experience this world._

 _I'm sorry if this is inconvenient, but this was the only way I could clear this with the higher ups._

 _-E.V.E_

This person again? Higher ups? What, is this an organization thing? Am I part of some crazy conspiracy? Was that naked man on the bus right?!

No! No! I refuse to succumb to such lunacy!

I start skimming the book's pages to find that, stunningly, they are all blank. I eventaully stop at a random spot and let our a spiteful laugh. "Someone really is intent of making fun of me. 'Grow with you', the hell is that supposed to..."

I can practically hear my eyes widen beyond their limits as the blank opening I stopped at begins to fill with letters and a picture of the island. Like, they are literally writing themselves into existence.

"... happen." I squeak out to finish the sentence. It- it must be, like, invisible ink or something? Yeah, that makes sense. Relax. Magic isn't real. You're still sane!

Read, yes! Reading is good.

-o-o-o-o-o-

 _The Island of Rare Animals_

 _A small island in the East Blue that consists almost entirely of a dense forest._

 _This island is known for housing a large number of very peculiar wild-life that cannot be found anywhere else in the known world. The reason for this has baffled zoologists for centuries, and has been largely abandoned by the scientific community as an enigmatic irregularity._

 _An island of it's caliber is quite unusual by the standards of East Blue, which largely consists of islands of purely normal variety, and some have even noted that it would be more at home in the Grand Line. Despite this claim, the island is fairly bening in nature._

 _Currently the island hosts a number of zoologically mixed fauna, and one lone human inhabitant. Try not to make an enemy of a man protecting his long-lasting dream._

-o-o-o-o-o-

... Okay. East Blue? Grand Line? What are those? For fucks sake, for an infornational book you sure are giving shit for context! And what is with this cryptic shit at the end?

Letting out an annoyed huff, I slam the book shut.

Well, at least now I maybe know where I am. Roughly. And if there really is someone on this island, that'd be helpful. Unless they're some sort of maneater. The least I need to deal with is some cannibal.

Or maybe I'm the inhabitant and the book is making fun of- No! Books aren't alive! They don't have stupid opinions! Writers do!

... I really need to calm down. My sanity is going down the damn gutter.

 _*Shuffle*_

My head turns so fast I can hear a snap. Ouch! It hurts, kinda, but I don't notice that much. More pressing matter to focus on. I swear I just head something shuffling the leaves in the forest there.

I strengthen the hold on the book in my hands, ready to give something an emergency bludgeoning. My eyes narrow, keeping a keen eye out for movement. I can't see anything though. Just trees, foliage, a bush, a shrub growing out of a chest.

Nothing out of the-"WAIT A SECOND!" I scream loudly. At the same moment I do so my eye spies a twinkle and, almost on pure instinctual reflext, I place the thick piece of blank literature in front of my face.

 _ ***BANG***_

What is most definitely a gunshot rings out and something impacts the book in front of my face hard enough for it to knock me in the face and make me fall on my ass.

I admit, I let out a fairly girly scream just then. I'm a man enough to admit it.

"O-oh my god! I'm so sorry!" I hear some, a man's voice, stutter in panic. "Your screaming caught me off guard! I panicked."

I lower the book and bare my teeth angrily. "What the actual fuck?! Who the hell's first reaction is to shoot to kill? I could've died!"

"I-I'm sorry miss- uhh- I mean- umm..."

I growled menacingly and finally got a good look at my assailant. Immediately my rage escaped me, like air out of a balloon.

"... What."

It was, by far, the weirdest thing that has happened to me today. A man with a short black beard and a ludicrously impossible green afro. But no, that wasn't the weird part. The weird part was that he was really short, mainly due to, some-freaking-how, being trapped inside of a chest in a manner that seemed not only uncomfortable, but also infuriatingly impossible!

"... This is it." I lie down and stare at the sky with wide, lying eyes. "I've gone and lost it. Bye-bye mind, it was nice knowing you."

"Uh, excuse me? What are you-"

"Shhhshshshs~," I shush nothing. "It's okay now. You're free of the madness now. Fly free. Fly, machine of imagination! Through the winds of inspiration and across the sea of creativity. Long were we as one, united in purpose. But alas, the hurt can't be mended no more. I let you free..."

"... Are you an idiot?"

"Hey, shut the fuck up and let a guy soliloquy to his poor shattered mind, illusion!" I snap into a sitting position and scream at nothing. "I've had a trying day today! First I somehow end on a raft in the middle of nowhere, then when I finally hit land the raft is eaten by some fuck-all fish and now I've gone fucking insane! So excuse me if I want some me time!"

 ** _*SLAP*_**

Sugar Honey Ice Tea, OW!

"You done?" The bush-hair-man asks.

"Yeah," I intone emotionlessly, rubbing my cheek. Fuck, I slap hard when I'm irrational.

I once more lay eyes on the man. With a green afro. Who is inside of a chest.

"... Yeah, this is still weird."

"Hey, you don't see me making rude remarks of your appearance!" The bush-hair-man yells at me, maybe trying to be intimidating, but I just can't find it in me to feel fear right now. I felt more drained of life, if anything.

I shake my head with a sigh. Can't let this nonesense distract me.

"So, yeah. Hi," I notch one hand up in a half-hearted greeting. "I just got stranded on this island. Who the hell are you, humorously small man?"

"Why should I tell you?" He was glaring at me. I might've insulted him.

"You fucking shot me! Answer the question, pintsize!" I dryly growl. I am _not_ in the mood.

To his credit, he seems to at least feel bad about it. "Yeah, you're right. My name is Gaimon. Sorry about shooting at you earlier."

... Damnit, now I seem like the asshole, don't I?

I let out a sigh, containing all the weight of the bullshit I've had to deal with today. "It's fine. It's fine. Just, been through a lot today. Kind of on edge, and nothing is helping. Quite the opposite, actually," I say. "Gaimon... what a weird name."

He seems to take offense to that. "Well, I introduced myself. It's only fair I get the same courtesy, right?"

The bush-man has a point.

"My name is-" Mental pause! I am stuck in a new world, supposedly, so this is basically a new life. That means... I can be whomever I want! I just need something that I find acceptable, and is also appropriate in some deep, vague and _inconsequential_ manner that will, in the end, not even matter.

But what to pick? Maybe something from what I like, but also hate so I'm double invested. So then... How about from... Oh, that's a good one!

"-Abel," I answer smoothly and hold out my hand. "Hi."

"Nice to make your acquintance," The bush- I mean, Gaimon says and shakes my hand. Damn, that looks weird. They have so little reach! How does he do anything?

"Also, apology accepted. Was kind of my fault as well." I admit. "I would say 'it's not a big deal', but you can't just associate a bullet with that and be like, 'yeah, that all adds up'."

I then get up and dust my dress' behind, now really feeling how damned short this man is. Seriously, it's almost funny if it wasn't so damn weird.

I caught him staring at me, mainly because I was doing the exact same, trying to figure out how that chest-business even worked. This lasted for a while, whilst the awkward silence continued. Eventually, he took it upon himself to break it.

"Uh, excuse me for asking, but are-"

"Yes, I am a crossdresser. No, I do not asssociate myself with the female gender. Yes, I am in fact male." I answered in the typical and almost robotic manner I was used to. Comes from answering the same question over and over again.

The pains of being pretty in a world that just doesn't get the hint. Not that that in and of itself isn't sometimes fun.

I placed my hands on my hips and looked at the woods. I was getting weird vibes.

"So, Gaimon. Where exactly have I ended up in? 'Cause honestly," I land the most dead expression and tone of voice in his direction, " _I have no idea where I am._ "

"Gee, be dramatic, why don't you. Damn, okama," The man somehow does a weird thing where a large waterdrop slides down his head. I don't even... Also, I feel deeply insulted, but I can't figure out why. "This is the Island of Rare Animals."

Oh, so the book wasn't full of shit?

Suddenly Gaimon whips out two flintlock pistols, from his afro of all places, and tries to look menacing. The guy has the face for it but... just... The rest just ruins it, you know?

"I'm only going to say this once, so listen up! Don't try to do anything to the animals here, or the treasure! I'll make you regret it if you do."

Truly, I quiver with fear.

"Wasn't gonna." I stop to think. Did I really mean that? "I mean, a guy has to eat, so I probably would have. Also if something attacked me first, then that couldn't be helped. But aside from those two, no, wasn't going to do anything to terrorize the locals."

... Ah!

"Wait, did you say treasure?"

The man swiftly blocks his mouth with his hands. How do they reach?! "W-what? There is no treasure! Whatever gave you the thought?"

... Is... Is he attempting to lie? After a slip like that? At least try, man! Lying isn't that complex! You say things that aren't true with appropriate confidence and, most importantly, don't contradict yourself!

"... Okay." I decide to let it go. I really don't care anyway. "Just... do know if anything here wants to eat me? 'Cause I kind of like being alive. Would like it to remain so."

Gaimon grins, turning towards the forest(Man, how do you leg?). "Eat you? Heh, don't worry about that. I'll tell my friends not to bother you, 's long as you don't bother them." Oh great. An animal-loving hippie.

"Sounds fair," I say halfheatedly. I really can't care right now.

"Would probably get a stomach ache anyway."

"Oi!" I snap. "I am delicious and good for your health!"

... I don't know why I said that.

Anyway, Gaimon whistles, likely an "A-OK"-signal, and all of a sudden I notice a lot of movement from the forest. So I was observed this entire time? Knew something was up.

And that's when my mind just stopped.

Out of the forest arrived a motley of... of...

"Okay, friends. Don't bother this guy. He doesn't feel that dangerous, but be careful."

Rabbit-snake...

Tiger-elephant...

Rooster-fox...

...Poodle-duck...

"Huh? Hey, guy! You look pale. You okay?"

I shamble over to my spread of things, grabbed the journal and the pen.

With steady hands and iron will, I found the spot for writing in:

 _Dear journal,_

 _I went insane today. My hell thus made manifest._

 _-o~O-O~o-_

 _ **He has a name! Now he just needs a brother to murder, and we are done here.**_

 _ **Poor, poor,**_ **stupid** _**Abel. Thinking One Piece makes sense. The nerve of that guy. Shame he has to be such a rational guy. This is not going to be fun for him.**_

 _ **The goal is to update this once a week from this point onwards, or when I've have something on the backlog. I will try to maintain this schedule for as long as possible. Hopefully I'll man up and keep at this, because some of the things I have planned... Hooo-boy!  
**_

 _ **-Sound of mind(LIES), C-Hablerie**_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Abel's Log

 _I have never in my life missed the simple joy of alcohol and it's numbing effects until this very day. I suppose I always took it for granted, expected it to be there when I needed it and now that there isn't any..._

 _Anyway, I need some outlet for all... this. Writing always calmed me down, so this is my solution. This journal and the pen will get a lot of mileage, I'll wager. For this pen is my mighty sword and this journal is the place I banish my demons. My own personal Tartarus, where mad beasts roam. My own personal Pandora's Box, to contain all the world's madness and evil.  
_

 _This page is already wasted on this nonesense, so I'll start properly on the next. And be more calm about it._

 _Abel's Log, Day 2_

 _After the shock of yesterday, I was a mess. I hate it when I'm in that state, rare as it is. Whenever something get's too much for me I go into a delirious daze, where I try to shelter my mind from what is bothering it by shutting it down. It's like being put in solitary confinement in your own mind. And if you know anything about solitary confinement, you know that is a very bad thing._

 _I don't deal with with extreme anxiety. Yesterday was just too damn much, too damn fast._

 _I scared Gaimon and his flock something fierce. I honestly feel pretty bad about everything I said or thought of the guy. Weird he may be, but he's a big sweetheart. And despite being unholy freaks of nature that no amount of cross-breeding can explain, they are pretty well behaved and- this is so embarrassing -affectionate._

 _I didn't know being nestled in a mound of mix-match critters was so comfy and warm. It actually helped me break out of my delirium. I was, of course, grateful and explained my situation fully to Gaimon. And when I say fully, I mean everything. It must've sounded absolutely crazy to him, but I wanted to explain myself. The man deserved to know. In the end he seemed to at least not think I was completely crazy._

 _While I was out Gaimon and his animal friends packed up all my stuff and carried me and my new belongings deeper into the forest. Apparently he was afraid I'd get sunburn, due to my ghastly pale skin. Can't say I've ever had that particular problem, but I appreciated the thought._

 _It's a shame none of the animals are what I'd define as 'cute'. Subjective but... they still freak me out. They just make no damn sense!_

 _Afterwards Gaimon showed me where to find fruit, berries and edible plants, as well as a small spring for drinking water. At least the hunger or thirst will not claim me so easily._

 _Oh, also something I noticed after coming to. I looked at The Codex again and, despite catching a bullet for me, it was absolutely pristine. Not even as much as a scuff mark was on it. That is, quite frankly, bullshit! The bullet would have, at least, pierced partway through. And I know, it's a round metal ball, guns are primitive here, but even those had serious penetration power! History fact!_

 _Just another thing that makes no sense. Sure! Let's add it to the pile!_

 _So yeah, learned more about where I am, in general. The Codex had some more pages filled. Had to REALLY look to find them, but I'm thorough like that. I swear this thing fills out at random._

 _Apparently this world, which apparently has no name, is almost entirely ocean. I mean, moreso than Earth. Literally almost all the landmasses are classified as islands. The ocean is split into four parts: North Blue, South Blue, West Blue and East Blue(where I am, apparently). There's also a thing called the Grand Line, which I got nothing for. No context._

 _The only entry I had was on East Blue, which called it "the weakest sea". Whatever that means. Maybe it's storms are just sissy versions of real storms? I'd ask Gaimon, but I get the feeling he may not necessarily be up to date on things. The entry itself was really vague though, only mentioning a few locations, like the Baratie and Conomi Island._

 _Again, without context. Context. Is. IMPORTANT!_

 _I hate this thing so much, but my gut tells me I need it. Urgh._

 _Anyway, today I'm going to do some practice shooting on some birds flying overhead and around the island. I need to figure out how well that modified long rifle functions._

 _Addendum : Hit three out of seven birds, using nine shots. Pretty good for moving targets, but I can do better. The rifle has a surprising kick to it, but is very stable and accurate. I just need to adjust to the recoil and start priming my head to run math again._

 _I knew all those times at the shooting range weren't a waste of time!_

 _Addendum 2 : A bird tried to snatch my wig. Showed him! Bird is on the menu._

 _Abel's Log, Day 3_

 _Been practicing my shooting. In tough moderation. It occured to me that, indeed, I only have so many bulets. And until I can figure out a way to make more, which I theoretically can, I need to not waste them. My accuracy is improving and I'm getting used to the gun. It really speaks to me. I've been thinking of giving it a name, but haven't figured out what yet._

 _One of the birds I shot down landed in the ocean. Was eaten up by that stupid big catfish. I call it the Peekfish because that's how it eats shit from the surface. Asshole._

 _Addendum : I might have forgotten to tell Gaimon that I was practicing, so he's been panicking that someone's come to raid his pad(whatever there is to steal). My bad. Have to get used to communicating with people again. Can only be useful. Now if only I could obtain some sweet vengeance on that prick that ate my way out of this hell. I swear, I should've called myself Dante. That's gender-neutral enough, right? I mean, I'd need a surefire method to get it in a position t  
_

 _Addendum 2 : I TRICKED A BITCH! Baited the dumb fucker to pop out with a bird I shot down and blasted a hole right through the eyes! It was gruesome. Bye-Bye, Peekfish! Maybe I can somehow pull it on shore so I can roast it?_

 _Addendum 3 : The Peekfish was just eaten by what appeared to be an even more massive water-snake-thing. I'm not going near the water anymore. What the fuck._

 _Abel's Log, Day 4_

 _I am mad. And cranky. And starting to feel filthy. The only water I'd willingly go near is the spring, but I don't want to contaminate the water with my gunk. I would kill for a bath, or a shower. I don't care if I have to go medieval, I just want to be clean! UGH!_

 _You know, I've never really thought of how much of a blessing it is that I can't grow facial hair. No scratchy, sruffy feeling needles on my face after a few days. Only my pretty, pretty face._

 _I'm also tired of pulling twigs and leaves out of my wig. I'd take it off, but I don't wanna. It's my only one. I don't have a spare. They are at home oh damnit they are gonna be thrown away! Damnit, my landlady is a bitch and after she notices I'm gone all my stuff is as good as trash in her stingy bitch-eyes!_

 _Great, now I made myself angrier. This day is ruined._

 _Abel's Log, Day 6_

 _Didn't write anything yesterday. So bored! Sleeping under the stars was fun only as a novelty, and now I am sick of everything._

 _Have been training to use my long rifle as a combat implement at close range. It has enough length to function like a staff. Have only gonked my head on the stock thrice. Hurts like hell, but helps me understand what I'm doing wrong._

 _I haven't touched any of the "special" ammunition. Too hesitant. A massive unknown factor. And I don't want to waste them._

 _I don't know how much longer I can last._

 _Addendum : The Rifle has been named Azazel. I also names the derringers. The black one is Lucifer and the white one is Satanael. I don't have fixation._

 _Abel's Log, Day 9_

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 _Abel's Log, Day 15_

 _I feel disgusting. I think Gaimon is starting to notice something is off with me. I can't blame him. I've been acting weird for a while. I just can't stand this isolation. The Codex is no help. I tried to shoot it to vent. Did absolutely nothing. The thing is invincible to harm. What the fuck.  
_

 _I needed to stop shooting practice because I've already used exactly 59 basic rounds. I'm trying to keep it together, if for not for mine, but for Gaimon's benefit._

 _I don't want to go crazy on him. He doesn't desrve to go through that._

 _I just need something- anything -to get my mind to focus. I need a direction to divert all this pent up mental strain into._

 _Abel's Log, Day 26_

 _It's almost been a month. I've managed to keep myself sane by reciting every single historical, alchemical or myhtological factoid I've been able to memorise in my lifetime. Every single legend, myth and formula. I think I recited the entirety of my college science catalog, all six volumes. From memory! It's actually very surprising how much I've crammed into my stupidly efficient brain._

 _I think my mind is calm now. It's finally gotten over the denial and jumped into something resembling acceptance. My psychology professor would be scolding me for skipping steps, but I think you can go feel sexually repressed by your mother, Mr. Lamington. Freud-ed, bitch!_

 _This feels like a good pla e to e d  
_

 _-o~O-O~o-_

 _-MIDDAY OF DAY 26-_

Fuck, the pen stopped working.

...

NOOOOOOOO! MY WEAPON AGAINST THIS BULLSHIT IS GONE! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL! MADNESS IS TOO STRONK!

...

I groan and store the journal and the now useless pen into my pocket. Back to gazing upwards, I suppose.

"The sky sure is blue today."

That was a fucking lie. Instead of bright, blue and innocent, the sky I was looking at was dark, rumbling and ominous. Like it had just gotten back from the bar and was now angry at the others for making fun of it for not being edgy enough.

"... I've been here way too long," I summarize every train of thought that has occured to me for the last week, but never made quite as much sense as it did now.

Just a while ago it began storming like crazy, so I'd fled deeper into the forest for shelter. The sky sure as hell wasn't nice to look at back then, but I needed to waste my time. So I took a secure vantage point under thick foliage, lied down and watched nature's wrath from the sky go over.

Not the most entertaining or pleasant of hobbies, but fascinating nontheless. At least the rain stopped a while ago.

Well, lying about isn't going to do any wonders on my mental state. With a few stretches, and an alarming amount of bone crunching, I get off the ground and abandon the tree root I had been using as neck support.

I dust by dress, and I can't help but to wonder how gross and messy I must look. I barely took my clothes off, only doing so to air them out. I couldn't wash them, because that'd mean going close to the water. I am not becoming snake food.

But my dress was a mess. Tears and small holes all over, mostly around the hem-area from all the shit it had snagged on. I suppose in any other situation it might've added character, maybe even badass but no, it only looked pathetic and proof of how long this has been going on. At least I'd taken the time to rid my wig of anything that didn't belong. Small victories.

I pick up Azazel and strap it on my back. I'd begun wearing the harness meant to hold the rifle, as well as carrying ammo around in the ammo bag resting on my hip, both to make the sack of stuff less cumbersome to carry, and to get more intimately used to the weight. The derringers are in my dress pockets, loaded but not primed in case of emergency.

I wonder if it looks good on me? Can't tell without a mirror around, but I'll assume I'm always cool. Just... not right now.

Man, I need a bath. Badly.

...

I feel my posture slump as I release a sigh containing all my grief and bottled up despair. "I'm so beyond rock bottom right now..."

I look at my hand. The nail-paint had flaked off a while ago. Shame. I like them black. Just another reminder of how off-rails my life has gone.

Though, if I am to look for silver linings, I've survived for a good while. Likely could continue to do so for the foreseeable future, but I don't think my sanity can take it. Honestly? I am proud of my accomplishment so far.

But... That feeling will always be a bit hollow until I get out of here.

And just for record, Early on I considered building another raft and try my luck. I'm not an idiot. But then I saw that huge sea-serpent and quickly went 'nope'. I am not stupid enough to gample with massive sea-predators.

Which were real here, apparently. I'd quickly come to accept that. Fucking bizarre ecosystem. Makes sense though. If the world is mostly ocean, it reasons that things in that ocean would evolve like crazy. Apparently this is that, on steroids.

But enough musing to myself. I need to start figuring things out, fast. I can't just fall complacent. That way is the temptation to give up. And I am not a fan of that concept.

My mind might be susceptible to bullshit that makes no sense, but it is not weak!

... **!**

"... Hmm?" I perk up. I just heard something. It was vague, but I was certain I just heard something from somewhere on the island. I closed my eyes and extended my hearing as far as I could with a minor meditation technique I'd learned once.

It was a boring week and college wasn't doing it for me.

...

...

There! I could hear a gunshot! But the only person with a gun on this island other than me is Gaimon. And he doesn't go around shooting for no reason, unlike me that one time I was... compromised.

I triangulated the location of the sound. Wasn't exact, but I was certain of the direction it came from. Frankly curious, I grabbed my marginally lighter bag of semi-useful stuff and hoisted it over my shoulder, and began power walking.

The damn thing was still heavy, but I'd gotten used to it to the extent that it wasn't a massive hinderance. Just don't expect me to run with it. I have limits.

So the following moments I spent walking silently towards where the gunshot originated from. On the way I contemplated what could be the cause of this. Just like me, Gaimon only had so many bullets to go around, only far fewer in quantity.

The only time I'd seen him even prepare to use them was when I first met him. And that led me to one, admittedly exciting possibility.

There was someone here. And Gaimon was fiercely protective of this place. And despite me ribbing his appearance, a gun is dangerous in anyone's hands. I could only hope that whomever it was was still alive, and not too hostile. This was my chance!

Soon I begun to hear commotion, faintly but now much more certain of where it came from. One of the upper regions of the island. Luckily I knew my way around so getting there quickly was in my repertuore. I explored this place to get an idea to my situation early on- and while bored -and memorized some useful routes in case I needed them.

I got over to where most of whatever it was was happening, though soon enough the commotion died down. But by then I was close enough to reach the place. One of the cliffsides which I made a point avoiding. Falling that distance into the ocean by accident was not on my bucket list.

Upon closing in on the treeline was when I saw it. Gaimon, along with some of his animal-hybrids licking his scruffy face. And with them, three others. People. Legitimate ass people.

A girl with orange hair, a boy with a straw hat and red vest, and a boy with poofy, curly hair and a nose that was way longer than it had any right to be.

I could hear some of their conversation.

"You're pretty popular, God." Orange-hair stated.

"Until now you were using them to scare away people who came to this island, right?" said Long-nose.

"But I've seen a person stuffed into a chest before." Straw Hat stated, grinning widely. "Are you a boxed and sheltered son?"

"Yeah, I've always been overly pampered since I was just a little boy..." Gaimon said, with a serious expression that soon morphed to one of outrage. "Of course I'm not! I've can't get out of this box! I've been all alone on this island for 20 years, trapped in this chest!"

"20 years?!" Orange-hair exclaims.

Then Long-nose snaps his purse/satchel open, pulls out a freaking thermostat, pours himself a drink and just drinks it. That is not the appropriate reaction!

Long-nose sighs contently at the drink and turns back to Gaimon. "You've been alone on this island for 20 years?"

I grin and prepare my vocal chords. I can't resist the opportunity!

" _Not necessarily alone, per se_ ," I make it my point to butt in, exiting the trees and walking into view, my tone softer and my pitch much higher. I have their attention and I shoot Gaimon a look that I hope he understands. " _Seeing as little old me has also been stranded here for almost a month. Sniff~ snif_ f~." I add some fake sadness in for flavor and wipe away fake tears.

"Who are you?" Straw Hat asks plainly.

" _Well someone is a bit tactless_ ," I remark dryly. " _Just brush off the feelings of a lonesome maiden, why don't you. But if you must know, I am Abel, a simple stranded person_."

"Sorry about him," Orange-hair apologized, showing more manners than Straw Hat. "He's a bit dense. Nice to meet you. I'm Nami."

" _Why, hello to you too, dear~_." I croon pleasanrly, plastering a kind smile on my face.

"And I'm great Pirate Captain Usopp!" Long-nose boasted, standing up to pose "heroically". "Brave warrior of the sea and leader of one million men!"

" _I don't much appreciate liars_ ," I remark, examining my nails while feigning indifference. True, though more specifically, I do not appreciate bad liars. And that was bad. Really, really bad. Absolutely no believability.

Long-nose blanched at my reaction and slumped, looking quite depressed at my off-handed dismissal. Marvelous~.

Though that was soon overtaken by what he said. The only part that didn't immediately smell like a lie.

 _' Pirates,'_ I thought, forcing the panic to die down. _'These people are fucking pirates?!'_

... Okay. Careful maneuvering. I don't want to cause an incident.

" _O-oh... So you're pirates, then_?" I ask, just the tiniest quiver in my voice and a mild look of concern. All fabricated, of course.

"Yup!" Straw-Hat affirms with a joyful grin.

Shit, that confirms it! But so far they seem bening enough. Still, proceed with care and caution.

" _W-well, seeing as you haven't accosted Bush-Box yet, I suppose you are alright_ ," I say, slightly avoiding my eyes, miming hesitance.

"Shishishishi!" Straw Hat laughs in an odd way. "That's a funny name. You're strange, Bush-Box."

"My name is Gaimon!" The short man intersects.

"Oh, you were all here," A new voice speaks up and everyone turns to look at the new arrival. A man with light green hair and three swords. Katanas, to be precise. I narrow my eyes a fraction. Something about that man feels dangerous.

"You! Even with all the commotion you were still asleep until now?" Orange-hair berates the man with a slight tinge of exasperation. At least now I know these people know each other.

Without saying a word, the swordsman picks up the mug Long-nose was holding, sits onto one of the nearby rocks and takes calm, plentiful gulps. After enjoying it for a moment he opens his eyes and sees Gaimon, immidiately falling on his ass.

"What the hell is with that guy?"

"Notice _sooner_..." Orange-hair and I share a look, having spoken in exact sync. I crack a small smile. I like her. She makes sense.

"He's a man who lives in a box," Straw Hat explains 'helpfully'.

"Are you a boxed and sheltered son?" Swordsman asks Gaimon. This sounds familiar...

"Yeah, I've always been overly pampered since I was just a little boy..." Gaimon explained with a serious frown, before exploding. "OF COURSE NOT! Stop telling me these pointless jokes!"

"Zoro, lend a hand!"

Next thing I know Straw Hat and the Swordsman are trying their damnest to pull Gaimon out of the box. It looks rather painful for him, but I can't but plant my palm on my face at the exhibit. Doesn't last that long before they call it quits.

"Wow, you're really stuck in there, huh?" Straw Hat notes.

"Don't be so reckless!" Gaimon berates the boy. "After spending 20 years inside, my body has perfectly molded to the shape of this chest. If you break it then I'm done for too."

... I... That doesn't... I mean, in theory that makes sense. If you were put there while you were still growing! That just doesnt... Grrrr...

I merely pinch the bridge of my nose and shake my head. Just... need to let this go. Just gonna let Gaimon do the talking.

"Besides, who are you guys? There's something different about you compared to those other pirates that have come here"

Straw Hat grins proudly. "I'm Luffy. The man who will become the King of the Pirates."

That statement, made with absolute certainty. I couldn't sense a lie or a fib. Only certainty in the claim. Either the kid was ambitious and sure of himself, or ambitious and stupid. Whatever being "King of the Pirates" means.

"Wh-what?!" Gaimon seems shocked about it. He must know more than I do about this. More reason to stay silent and listen.

"I'm going to become pirate king and find One Piece." Straw Hat says with the same matter of fact way.

"O-One Piece, you say? You can't really be planning on going to the Grand Line, can you?"

Context! It's important! Damnit, this is The Codex all over again!

"We have a map. See." Luffy says, showing him a piece of paper.

"Don't underestimate it, kid!" Gaimon says, dead serious and a bit mocking. "That place is the hell's coffin. I've seen the pirates who've escaped the Grand Line. Lost their spirits, shambling like the dead. Whatever happened to them or whatever they met. None who returned could say anything."

Damn, that place sounds hardcore. In a really bad way.

"Beyond that, there are so many rumors about the One Piece that no one knows the truth anymore," Gaimon continues. "The Great Pirate Era has lasted 20 years. One Piece is no longer just a legend, but a dream in a dream."

... Huh. That was surprisingly powerful stuff. I know basically nothing about what he said and even I'm having small chills. Though, I must take what he says with a grain of salt. Dude has been alone for a long time.

I cross my arms in thought. Weighing the pros against cons of asking these people for help. On one hand, these are pirates. I can't trust them by definition. On the other, this may be my only chance. I literally have no other option aside from these two extremes.

I was deep in thought, breaking out of it just in time to overhear Gaimon beginning to tell his story. I stopped pondering and focused. Honestly, I too was curious of his circumstance.

Turns out he too was a pirate who arrived on this island 20 years ago. But in what turned out to be his folley, he separated from his crew in search of treasure in the one place they hadn't looked, the very peak of the island, only to fall into the chest imprisoning him to this day and being left behind by his crew, likely completely forgotten.

Instantly finding a silver lining in his situation, he reason that all the tresure would be now his, only to be unable to reach it due to being stuck in a chest. Left with no way to reach the treasure, and no way to leave the island.

Honestly, it was a sad story. A cautionary tale that spoke to me about greed and poor decision making. But I still felt for the man I knew somewhat. It's not like we were friends or anything. Fairly early we got into an unsaid agreement to let each other be, and that we did. Only briefly did our paths cross and we'd share a short talk.

Then something came to me. Something I'd read in what seemed like forever ago.

 _'Try not to make an enemy of a man protecting his long-lasting dream.'_

So that's what the damn book was talking about. Sure as hell explains his initial hostility and his insistence that there was no treasure. But to cling to it for so long...

"For all these years, that one glance at the treasure hasn't left my mind." Gaimon finished history. "So when pirates came to this island seeking that treasure, I used these guys to scare them off." He gestured towards his animals.

"In this manner I've guarded the treasure for 20 years." Gaimon contined passionately. "They are mine!"

... Damnit, that kind of persistence and dedication is super admirable. Stop making me respect you, you weird box-man!

"There's no question about it. They are yours." Straw Hat states, simply and soundly.

"Old man, I understand," Nami says. "I'll help you get those treasures."

"You h- *cough* _You have been very hospitable to me, so I suppose this is a fitting repayment. I'll help also_." Shit, I almost slipped. Play it cool.

"Where'd you come from?! Who are you?" The Swordsman exclaims, paying mind to me for the first time since he arrived.

" _Please dedicate some time and brain power for your surroundings, good sir_ ," I scold him with a suryp-y smile.

Gaimon looked surprised at the offers. "R-really?"

"Could it be..." Long-nose whispers, looking at Nami.

"Aren't you a thief of pirates?" Straw Hat asks from the girl. So wait, is or isn't she is pirate?

"You! That's rude!" She snaps at the apparently simple-minded boy. "Even I got emotionally moved."

" _Well~_..." I say and with a quick movement have Azazel in my hands, wearing a sweet smile. " _I suppose I'll just be an enforcer of that promise, m'kay_?"

A credit to my acting, everyone, sans Straw Hat, seems a bit cautious of my proclamation. I've never been more happy that I took those acting classes and more proud of my female impression. This is so much fun!

-o~O-O~o-

One trip later, on board a damn cow-tortoise- I try to ignore it, but it's so. Damn. Hard! -the crew of Gaimon, the four and I arrive to the peak of the island. I am just happy I didn't need to carry my stuff the entire way.

The cliff-face of the peak is rough and easily climbable, if you have functional, normal proportioned limbs. Alas, poor Gaimon, I get your frustrations.

"Here, huh?" Luffy wonders out loud.

"I haven't been here for a long time," Gaimon does the same.

" _Makes sense. Keeping distance can alleviate bad memories or feelings_ ," I mumble to no one in particular.

A moment of silence was shared, everyone keeping an eye on Gaimon. It wasn't a pitying look, but one of anticipation.

Gaimon cracked a smile and looked up at the pillar of rock. "It's finally time! Today is a good day. I'm counting on you, Straw-hat!"

"Okay!" Luffy exclaims, cocking his hand back. I raise a brow.

" _What does he_ -"

" **Gum-Gum**..." The boy punches up, his arm stretching to reach the very top of the rock formation. My eyes widen considerably, beyond their conventional means. " **Rocket!** " Luffy exclaims as he is rocketed up to the top.

Long-nose says something, but I can't hear any of it. My eyes just glued to where Straw Hat disappeared on to, wearing a dumb expression of shock.

"Surprised, huh?" I snap out of it momentarily when someone places an understanding hand on my shoulder. It's Nami. She shoots me an understanding look.

" _H-how_..." I manage to croak, somehow managing to maintain the act, while pointing at the top of the peak.

"He ate a Devil Fruit." Nami explains, expecting me to understand.

I didn't.

Before I can ask further, I'm brought back to the situation at hand.

"How is it? Do you see anything?" Gaimon yells up, expectantly and excited to finally have answers to what must've plagued his mind for years.

There is no response.

"What is he doing?" Swordsman is the first to ask.

"Luffy!" Nami shouts, trying to get an answer, Long-nose miming her afterwards. "What is happening?"

" _Keeping silent isn't very becoming, you know_!" I add my two cents.

Finally he steps into view, holding a chest under his arm. The angle and the time of day makes shadows hide his face.

"I've got it! Five treasure boxes!" He yells down.

"Go... Got it!" Gaimon speaks, beyond excited and barely holding himself back. "Finally! I've got the treasure! Treasure! Can you bring them down? My treasure?"

I can see a faint grin from Straw Hat. "Nope."

"What!" Gaimon exclaims, as do I.

"... _Ecxuse me_?" I shout, eyes narrowing dangerously.

"I said no. I don't want to give then to you." Straw Hat said with a tooth-bearing smile.

My eye twitched dangerously as my grip on Azazel tightened.

"What nonesense are you saying? Stop joking!" Nami yells at the boy.

"Yeah, those treasures are Gaimon's! Hand them all over!" Long-nose foes the same. At least I am not alone in my outrage.

I shoot a dangerous glare at the damned kid. How dare he have the nerve to lie and go back on his word... to... to... Wait a second... I inspect his features, what little I can see. I see... something else there. I can't quite place it, but... I get a concrete feeling...

"You! Stop this nonesense!" Nami shouts, angered.

"Enough!" Everyone looks at Gaimon, who sounds very much defeated and sad. Yet... "It's okay."

Nami and Long-nose voice their complaints, as my mind is picking up these pieces and arranging them. The picture is becoming clearer, and I can't hold onto my anger. I simply close my eyes as everything makes sense.

"Straw-hat, you're..." Gaimon starts, sounding broken up. He is crying. I can tell. "You are a really nice guy!"

"What do you mean?" Nami asks, confused.

"I'd thought of it before. That maybe..." Gaimon sniffs. "That even if it's unimaginable and unbearable to think it."

Gaimon is very much crying now.

"There's nothing inside, is there?"

There it is. The only logical reason Straw Hat would make a claim like that, yet seem so conflicted under the surface. To either lie and be thought a monster, or tell the truth and break a man's heart. How very noble.

Completely unfitting of a pirate.

"Yeah." Straw Hat says calmly. "They're all empty."

"No way..." Nami says. I can hear the sympathy in her voice. "Those treasures you protected for 20 years... are just empty boxe..."

" _It makes sense, though_ ," I say, somberly looking at the ground. " _Compared to what is inside, the chests themselves are often of little value. Why take the cumbersome container when you can just take the contents? Besides, it is likely this treasure was found ages ago, and no one ever knew of it_."

Gaimon nods, awknowledging my point to be true. "Many pirates go out of their way to seek treasure. Risking and wasting your life, only to get nothing in the end. There are many pirates like that."

Such is the cruelty of life. Sometimes the strongest dreams that pull us are merely us chasing ghosts.

Then Straw Hat starts laughing. "Don't be so sad, old man! Good thing we got here on the 20th year! If no one showed up for another 30 years you would have ended up dead." And I would have long since lost my sanity...

Still, the words seem to reassure Gaimon.

"Straw-hat..." He looks up in mild reverence.

"You just got distracted by all this. Now all that is left is the One Piece. Become a pirate with us once more!" The boy wearing a straw hat says, emitting positivity.

I look up at him also. That was an inexplicably nice and inarguably the right thing to do. I grin despite myself. 'You've earned my respect, Straw Hat... No, Luffy!'

"You! Are you inviting me?" Gaimon asks, now just plain blubbering. "Till now there's been no one who would talk to me after seeing my condition. I don't know how long it's been since I've trusted someone."

... I'll graciously let that slide since he's clearly in emotional turmoil. I can't even be upset, since I never really trusted him fully either.

Now I seem like the asshole again. _Great_.

Nontheless, I allow myself to smile at the man whose heavy burden has been finally lifted.

"Thank you!"

-o~O-O~o-

Later, after everything has calmed down, Gaimon most of all, I decided now was as good a time as any. Since I wouldn't be breaking the mood anymore.

" _Hey, if I may ask, who is the captain of your vessel_?" I ask the four strangers I met today.

"Him," all three say, pointing at the straw hat wearing boy, currently picking his nose. I can kind of understand their blank expressions.

" _Very well then_ ," I say and face the boy. " _If I might ask something of you, could I get a ride on your ship off this island_?"

"Sure."

" _That easily?!_ " I snap back in shock. I... honestly expected I'd need to at least bargain a bit. I quickly right myself, cough into my fist and pretend like that outburst never happened. " _Very kind of you. I hope to enjoy my time with you all. Please take care of me_." I bowed in appreciation, this time not as an act, but to convey my honest thanks.

No one seemed to have any objections.

Gaimon declined the offer to join Luffy's group. He wouldn't explain why until we reached the ship of these so called pirates. And it was... Uhh... Small-ish and...

"... _It looks like a goat_."

"Oi, don't talk bad of the ship miss Kaya gave us!" Long-nose exclaimed.

" _I do not know who that is. And it is not the ship, per se. The figurehead just... muddles the image for me_." I weakly explain my feeling on the matter.

Anyway, Gaimon couldn't leave his beloved animal friends behind, and chose to stay to protect them. That was fine. It was a noble goal. After 20 years he'd come to make the island his home. Good for him.

Me, I can't wait to be away from here.

Still, no reason to be rude right now. I walk over to Gaimon.

" _It has been brief, but my stay here was far less terrible with you around. Thank you kindly, Gaimon_ ," I say, extending my hand and coverly winking at him. ' _Play. Along_ '.

Seeming to catch my meaning, he grips my hand as well. "It was my pleasure. I hope the best for you."

We didn't need more than that. It was a fully acceptable set of goodbyes.

Without further ado, I picked up my things and boarded the odd-looking pirate ship. Immediately I was overcome with an indescribable feeling of ease. My mind felt clearer than it had in years.

I kept eye contact with the island for as long as I could. Weird as it was, I looked upon that hell semi-fondly. It made no sense, but at the moment I don't mind.

An evil grin overtakes my mental space.

" _Now then_ ," I speak up, gathering the attention of my four hosts. " _I suppose it's a time for more formal introductions_."

Luffy grins widely. "I'm Monkey D. Luffy! I'll be the King of the Pirates."

"I'm Usopp! Brave warrior of the sea!"

"I'm Nami. Pleasure to meet you." Nami was the only one to properly come and shake my hand. "And that grumpy swordsman there is Zoro."

"Let me introduce myself, damnit! The Swordsman grumbles. "And I'm not grumpy!"

" _A pleasure to have met all of you. My name is Abel_." I smile widely, and innocently. And then the coup de grâce. I wink, stick my tongue out slightly and bop myself on the head in an overt attempt to look cute and say in the deepest, most masculine tone my highly talented vocal chords can manage, **"I'm a guy."**

Silence. Absolute silence as everyone present lets that sink in. It was a calm before a thundering storm.

It is absolutely beautiful.

"WHAAAAAAAAT?!"

I ignore their shocked expressions as I let loose a laugh I haven't had reason to let out for a good, long while.

"Khehehehe! Kheheheheee!" I bust my gut out, cackling at yet another group of dimwits fooled by my "feminine" wiles.

Life was, finally, starting to look good.

 _-o~O-O~o-_

 _ _ **And that's a wrap!**__

 _ _ **Though not a member on the crew yet, he is on the boat! Now let's hope this trip won't take seven years to amount to anything.**__

 **Miura...**

 _ **Oh, and one word of that repetetive mad rambling in Abel's Log is misspelled. Have fun!**_

 _ _ **-Laughing Lark, C-Hablerie**__


	4. Chapter 4

**_Chapter 4: Now That Is Sea Food_**

 _Abel's Log, First Day Out Of Hell_

 _Life is finally starting to become bearable again!_

 _I've washed my clothes and bathed for the first time in almost a month, and let me tell you, nothing beats being clean. Oh yes, I feel so pure and light, you don't even know. I don't even care that this place is way backwards when it comes to tech.  
_

 _It's a shame my clothes were so banged up. But I despair not! After a little help from a mirror and some scissors, I've made the tears and holes a part of the ensemble. Now they add character, instead of just looking like a mangled ratty mess._

 _Oh, if I could laugh at the sorority girls in school now. I made ragged clothes look cool and fashionable. Bow down bitches and call me Fashionista!_

 _Now as for my rescuers, they are... well, the four are a diverse bunch. I got their basic personalities down quickly. Swordsman is brooding and serious, Long-nose is a really bad liar and a coward, Nami is sane(she's my favorite), and Luffy... Oh boy, that kid is simple._

 _Now, I don't mean that in a degaratory manner, it's just a fact. The guy isn't the sharpest tool in the shed. He's got spirit and guts abounds, but something is definitely lacking upstairs. Now I get why Nami seems to call the shots on the ship._

 _I will hold their faces in my mind forever after they found out someone as pretty as me was a guy. Oh boy, that was a good one! I just love jerking people around with my natural charm. They took it well enough, I suppose. Luffy even seemed to appreciate the joke. Or maybe he laughed just because._

 _Anyway despite being pirates, they seem like a good bunch. I hope my trip on this vessel will be relatively peaceful._

 _I should go get some air._

-o~O-O~o-

I stretch a bit and close the journal. Writing in it is starting to become a bit of a habit. It just helps me organize my thoughts. My own personal locker for everything that is on my mind.

I'd slept amazingly well last night, even if I had to make do with a hammock. I'd tried to persuade my way into getting to sleep in the place with an actual bed(even the couch would have been awesome), but Nami had claimed the area as the girl's quarters and shot it down.

Payback for my prank, surely. I suppose I am deserving of this.

I'd spent enough time sitting down and writing, so I felt a need to walk about a bit. I was already fairly intimate with the ship, the Going Merry, so I'd make do with being on the deck.

Of course, I wasn't that ready to just trust freaking _pirates_ with my life, so I'd taken to keeping Azazel on my back at all times. I will give these people the benefit of a doubt, they did help me and Gaimon after all, but I am not so blind and stupid as to just be defenceless if anything goes down.

With the rifle on my back, and The Codex strapped onto the left side of my hip and the ammo bag to the right, I walked out into the sunlight. Immediately I could smell that salt-tinged sea air and feel the wind in on my face. It was honestly really nice. A good thing to supplement such a beautiful day.

I took note that every member of this crew was also present. Nami keeping an eye out towards the sea, Luffy sitting on the ship's goat figurehead, Swordsman leaning onto the rails, resting. The Long-nose wasn't in sight, but he wasn't a concern.

I let out a whistle, finding it impressive that this ship can function with just four hands on deck. Granted, this is a Caravel, I think, so it's meant for a skeleton crew. I'd immediately mentioned that they shouldn't expect help from me because I just do not know boat-stuff.

Nami made me learn some things anyway under the threat of violence, because this wasn't charity. She has spunk. Have I mentioned I like her? Anyway, now I know how to hoist the sails, can differentiate between board and starboard and can raise the anchor. Apparently I'm not allowed to do anything else. I don't think she trusts my inexperience. I don't really blame her.

"Oh my God!" Speaking of, that's her, paying attention to me. She looks shocked by something. But what? Is something on my face? "When you asked for those scissors I didn't think you'd cut your hair. It was really... good."

I blink, running my hand through my hair. My natural, really short black hair.

Oh. Yeah, now it makes sense.

"I must say you're mistaken." I speak up to correct this misconception. "I'm just washing my wig and it needs to dry. This is my real hair."

She gives me an appraising look. "You really go all out on this.. thing, huh?"

"This _thing_ is called crossdressing. And yes," I say, straightening my posture and cross my arms behind my back. "I do like being pretty. And although I do prefer my wigs," I turn and raise my crossed arms behind my head, tilting my neck and assuming a sensual look in my eyes. "I'd have to admit that even like this I have a certain charm, wouldn't you say?"

"Uh... Sure," Nami says, clearly not grasping my full charm. Oh well, whatever works for her.

I shrug at her with a good-natured chuckle, only to be accosted by another member of this ship.

"Hey, dress-guy!" Luffy practically yells at me, invading my personal bubble with reckless abandon.

"My name is Abel," I remind him and push him away. "Personal space."

"I didn't get to ask this yesterday, 'cause I forgot," Well that's unsurprising. "What's your story, dress-guy?"

... He isn't grasping the name. Is he doing it to annoy me? Is he capable of that? For all his simple-mindedness, Monkey D. Luffy is puzzling.

Complete sidenote: apparently the last name is said first and first name last. How oddly japanese. I don't question it, it is a small enough detail for me to ignore.

So of course I'd adjusted and gave myself a fictitious last name.

"For the last time, my name is Abel. Cain Abel." I know, shut up. "And why the sudden interest? You know that the moment you hit a port of some kind, I'm gone, right?"

"Well, everyone has a story. And we've got nothing else to do, so tell us!" He says that like it's self-evident.

And this is why you can't argue with idiots. They either fail to give up, or make arguments you can't dispute. There is nothing in that argument for me to use as a way out. Of course, I could just refuse, but then he'd keep asking, and asking, and asking...

You see why I can't win?

I just sigh and run my hand through my short hair. In situations like this it's better to do the easy thing and give in. "Gee, fine! Not like I've got any real reason to hide it."

Overjoyed, for some reason, Luffy starts jumping around and clapping his hands over his head, much like his namesake. "Yay! Story time from dress-guy!"

My eyes roll, as now I'm certain everyone's attention is on me. Damnit. He must be doing this on purpose. I just sit on the deck, cross my legs under my dress and prepare to accept what is about to happen.

"You! Don't just pressure him like that!" Nami jumps to my defence. A little late for that.

"It's no use. He's already decided," Swordman says. I'm not certain who he means, me or Luffy. "Besides, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least slightly interested."

I wave my hand dismissingly with a deadpan expression. "You look rugged and hunky and all, but despite dressing like this, I don't swing that way."

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" The Swordman barks at my jab. Someone seems sensitive~.

I grin widely, maintaining eye-contact. I flutter my eyelashes and croon, "Oh, don't be so harsh on yourself. I'm sure there are plenty of handsome, masculine-"

"YOU SHUT UP BEFORE I KILL YOU!" He stands up, hand on one of his swords. Oh, but that is not all. He's blushing in embarrasment!

"Kehehehe," I laugh softly at his embarrasment. "Relax. I'm just messing with you. No need to get so riled up." The grin is back, which I halfheartedly cover with my hand. "Unless... You're into _that_ ~."

"Seriously, stop needling Zoro. " Long-nose says to me, walking to join me and Luffy on the deck. "He could seriously hurt you, you know."

"Oh, I know." I freely admit. "But that just makes it all the more tempting." I turn to the Swordsman. "But sorry. It's just my way of making fun."

He grumbles something and sits back down with a glare aimed at my drection. I suppose I deserved that. Anyway...

"So..." I begin, like a good sotry teller. "You wish to know my story?"

Luffy nods vigorously, beginning to resemble a bobblehead. While more subdued, even Long-nose and Nami nod, perhaps out of sheer curiosity.

I let out a sigh. No way out of this. Might was well.

"Alright. First off, I'm not from around here." I hold up a finger to prematurely silence the question. "And by that, I don't mean I'm from some bum-fuck nowhere isolationist island. I mean it extremely literally. I am from a different dimension. I am not of this world."

"Hmm, I see, I see- LIKE HELL I DO!" Long-nose snaps at me. "I tell a lot of lies and even I don't believe that!"

Luffy on the other hand...

"WOOOOOW! So cool!" He literally had gleaming lights for eyes. What the fuck. "Are you an alien?"

"You seriously believe that?!" Usopp smacks Luffy upside the head.

"No, I am not an alien. I'm a by the books human, as far as I can tell." I say without much enthusiasm. This was sort of predictable. "Look, I don't need you to believe me. By all logic and reason, I have absolutely no need to lie to you. You can believe me, or not. That's your choice. Quite frankly, I don't care."

"It is a bit too much to just accept," Nami speaks up, eyeing me with suspicion. "But if it is as you say, then how'd you end up on that island?"

Ahh, the big questions!'

"You know, the funny thing is that I have no fucking clue myself." I admit, running my hand through my hair. "One moment I was walking through a park near where I lived and suddenly, BAM, middle of a sea with a raft." I let out an annoyed sigh just remembering it. I take The Codex and lift it up. "All proof I have of anything is this damn, stupid book."

"What is it?" Nami asks, curious of the dumb, white paperweight.

"Something called The Codex," I explain the best I can. "It's a book that apparently contains a lot of facts and information about this world. Though most of the pages are blank."

"Blank? How does that work?" Asked Long-nose, Luffy listening closely in anticipation.

"Like I know." I admit grudgingly. Not understanding really ate at me. "It just somehow fills itself in at random... Actually." I crack it open and begin skimming the contents. I haven't actually checked if anything new has appeared.

"What are you-"

"Shush," I shush Nami and keep a keen eye on the pages until I hit something. "...Huh, this is new. I have a profile on Monkey D. Luffy here."

"Seriously?" Long-nose asks, shocked.

"Oh, oh, tell me what it says!" Luffy is all hyped up for some reason. Even Zoro is listening. Maybe I can use this as proof...

"Okay, sure," I comply. "Can't quarantee that it's accurate, but whatever." I read the whole thing quickly and give out footnotes-version what I picked up.

"Monkey D. Luffy, your home was in Foosha Village, on Dawn Island. Your Straw Hat has given to you by someone you admire. You spent some time at Mt. Colubo, with a bunch of mountain bandits lead by Curly Dadan. You woved to set sail on your seventeenth birthday with your..."

I turn to look at the straw hat wearing captain. "You're seventeen?"

"Yup!" He says with a grin. "That's so cool! You got everything right!"

"What, really?!" Usopp gasps in shock.

"It's not that comprehensive. I feel like some details are missing." I mutter, stuck in my thoughts. I look at every member on board. "... Forgive me for asking, but is anyone here older than twenty?"

Everyone shakes their head.

"... I am surrounded by children."

"Oi." They all respond simultaneously.

"Don't you 'oi' me! Just a bit shocked that I'm the only adult on this damn boat." I snap at them. "Hell, how are you let out so young? Being pirates at such an age... I mean, I've heard of teenage rebellion but this is a bit much."

"Hey, you don't look that much older than us!" Long-nose remarked.

"Oh, you'd be surprised of my youthful charms," I say calmly. "I'm 29, just so you know." Cosmic anger at vanity be damned, but I look damn amazing for a guy who is almost pushing thirty. Fine wine, I am.

"That aside," I attempt to change the subject, flipping the pages of The Codex and stop at a filled page. "I got something on Long-nose there as well, if you want some more proof. Syrup Village, your dad is a pirate, you spent your days lying your ass off to everyone. Actually, you are all mentioned here. You kicked the ass of some guy named Kuro, right?" Based on his bugged-out eyes, I hit it on the money.

"Okay, we believe you." Nami said, holding her hands up in defeat. "There's no way you'd know that normally. I guess I can accept your story."

"It sounds unbelievable, but I guess it must be true," Long-nose mumbles, frowning.

"Nevermind that! I've decided!" Luffy exclaims, still all hyped-up about something. "Abel, join my crew!"

"EHHHHH?!" All his compatriots scream out. I can only stare at him with a dead expression.

... Shit.

-o~O-O~o-

 _Abel's Log_

 _I might have screwed up. I might have screwed up big._

 _Apparently my story of being from a different world caught Luffy's interest. A bit too much, because now he is adamant that I need to join his pirate crew. He's pestered me endlessly about it, despite my constant refusals. The kid simply doesn't get the meaning of 'no'. I don't want anything to do with such a dangerous lifestyle!_

 _According to the Swordsman, refusal is at this point impossible and my acceptance just a matter of time. I remain sceptical. Luffy is a good kid, I give him that. But he couldn't be nowhere near charismatic enough to sway me so strongly. I refuse to humor such thoughts._

 _At least he uses my name now._

 _Afterwards I looked at the Codex again on Nami's request. I didn't find anything on the Swordsman or her. I might have misread it, but for some reason she seemed relieved. Something tells me I'll have to keep an eye on h_

 _Damnit, what is happening now?_

-o~O-O~o-

I stepped out to see what the damn noise was about and wouldn't you know it, Luffy is messing with a cannon. Damnit all!

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?" I ask, dreading the answer.

"Testing the cannon." He says it like it's not at all a big deal. "I was aiming for that, but I missed." He points to an outcropping of rocks in the distance. Damnit, that-

I just settle to rubbing the bridge of my nose.

"I told you you couldn't do it. Let me show you how it's done" Long-nose steps over and starts messing with the cannon himself.

"Damnit all! Cannons are not some toys you just play with!" I voice my grievances, but go ignored.

It's then that Long-nose fires the cannon and the cannonball blows up the outcropping.

... That's not how- forget it. Sure. Cannonballs blow up. Okay. At least that can make plausible sense and work in practice.

"Woooah! Nice shot, Usopp!" Luffy is esthatic.

"... That was accurate," I refrain from outright praise by pointing out the obvious.

"Holy smokes, it hit- I mean, of course! I'm the best sniper in East Blue, after all!" Long-nose boasted, transparent in the fact that he didn't think he'd have hit anything.

I find it harder and harder to find anything nice to say about the guy. But it's not my place to say anything, so I stay silent.

Long-nose and Luffy then got into an argument over who got to be captain. I swear, these kids...

-o~O-O~o-

Amazingly the argument continued to the table set out in what was supposed to be the mess hall. I think.

"That's okay, I'll let you have the position for now," Long-nose finally conceded without actually conceding. "However, if you do a poor job, I'll be replacing you."

I swear, this is the most childish thing I've ever heard.

"That's fine," Luffy agrees, for some reason. "But I've been thinking." I actually start seriously listening. "We're need to fill one more position before going to the Grand Line."

... That is actually a good thing to think about. I'm surprised. I continue munching on a stale piece of bread I took for myself.

"Right, we have this nice kitchen," Nami remarks. And it is indeed adequate, for a ship kitchen. Although I'm no expert, of course. "If you pay me, I'll do it."

Oh yeah, one thing I've learned. Nami loves money. Tried to extort some fees from me just minutes after I came aboard, only to be detered when I mentioned I didn't have money. She then mentioned that she was only joking, but I don't know. Also, apparently the currency they use here is called Beri.

Stupid name. Anyway, back to this conversation.

"It's an important position for a long trip," Swordsman remarked from the floor where he was leaning on a crate instead of sitting around the table like a normal person. I was sitting next to Nami, by the way, if you were curious.

"That's right, it's someone we need to have on a pirate ship!" Luffy stated excitedly. "Hey, Abel, can you play music?"

"ARE YOU AN IDIOT?" Both me and Swordsman scream at the dimwitted captain.

"What the hell do you think sailing is?" Nami asked in exasperation.

"I thought you'd say something constructive for once," Long-nose sighs.

"Okay, first off! There are way more important positions than a damn musician!" I start. "Secondly, no I cannot. I'm musically deaf so- WOULD YOU STOP THAT! I'm not joining you!" I almost got sidetracted for a moment.

"Pirates have to sing and dance though"

"Okay, that's categorically true but IT'S NOT A SUFFICIENT REASON!" I snap at the simple captain.

All of a sudden some uproar is happening outside, stopping this stupid argument in it's tracks.

"Come out here, pirates!"

"Oh great. I knew today started off to well," I grumble and take Azazel into my hands in case I need it. Luffy is taking initiative and already heading to see what is happening out there, or more precisely, who is causing that ruckus.

Honestly just the first person to do anything, I join him. I'm just curious and I can't stand not knowing what the hell is happening. Besides, I'm armed and not too concerned of my ability to defend myself.

"What? Who are you?" Luffy asks, me following him to find a man aboard the ship. He's wearing sunglasses, a blue jacket and has a tattoo on the side of his face. He's also armed with what I think is a cleaver sword, dadao I think it is called.

"Shut up!" The man shouts. "It doesn't matter who I am!"

"Shit!" I cry as he suddenly charges and swings his sword hard enough to break a part of the railing dividing Luffy and me from him. Luffy just jumps out of the way while dragging me with him.

Holy crap that guy is strong! Or maybe his apparent anger is just releasing a shit ton of adrenalin to his body. Whatever, I quickly right my stance after being dropped on the deck with Luffy

"I've killed countless of pirates, yet a no name pirate like you dares to try kill my partner!" The suglasses wearing man growls at us. Or more specifically, Luffy while I'm on the firing zone.

"What do you mean, partner?" Luffy asks innocently yet insesitively, while I take a more placative approach.

"Hey, man. Why don't you just chill and we can tal- GAH!" I react quickly as he swings at me using both hands, intercepting his blade with the wooden body of my rifle. The blade doesn't sink in, oddly, but immediately my arms begin to budge under crushing strength and I can barely keep myself standing. Holy fuck he is strong!

"Calm down? I don't think so, pirate!" He screams at me as he adds even more force to his blade, causing my knees be begin buckling. I grit my teeth and focus all my efforts to fight against him, but he is just too. Fucking. Strong!

"I don't know what you're on about, but stop damaging the ship and leave Abel alone!" I hear Luffy yell as all of a sudden a fist enters my field of vision and strikes the man in the face, knocking him off of me and, incidentally, causing me to land on my ass as the force I was fighting against disappears. I breathe heavily, having come uncomfortably close to something very unpleasant.

"Hey, you!" I hear Swordsman say. "Aren't you Johny?"

"Who is it? Calling my name so disrespectfully?" The man asks arrogantly. After just being bodied by Luffy's punch. He then looked towards the swordsman and his attitude suffered an immediate one-eighty. "Zoro-aniki!?"

Wait, aniki is a japanese term of respect, which is used mainly in the yakuza circles. It means... 'Brother', it think...

... Oh for fucks sake, he knows this guy?!

-o~O-O~o-

"So let me get this straight," I start, impatiently with my arms crossed, tapping my finger on my bicep and wearing a metaphorical angry cloud of death over my shoulders. "You were camping out at that rock formation when it was suddenly shot to high hell, saw a pirate ship and decided to take some names. Mainly because you were concerned for that mess there. Am I understanding this correctly?"

The tanned man who'd attacked me was sitting on his knees, back ramrod straight and sweating bullets at my glare. The man named Johny was acting like a child being scolded, which was exactly what was going on here. Besides him, lying on the deck was another man wearing a green jacket and shorts of all things, looking very sickly and on death's door.

I didn't regard him with much interest at the moment.

Sunglasses nodded meekly. "Y-yes, that is-"

"Did I say you were allowed to speak," I speak, tone cold as the ice that would freeze over all of Hell. He clams up and somehow his posture gets even straighter. "As for you..." I take a deep breath and focus on the other set of children to scold.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY?! YOU DON'T PLAY AROUND WITH FUCKING CANNONS! THOSE ARE NOT TOYS!" I scream my lungs out at the captain and sniper in a very similar position, delivering two special gifts to their apparently empty skulls. Lefty for Long-nose and Righty for Straw Hat.

"WAAAAH! WE'RE SORRY!" They scream as one, hugging each other and crying in fear, reasonably terrified of my fury. Luffy even developed a comically oversized bump on his head, which made no sense.

I refuse to show how damn much my fists sting from the effort.

I hear a sigh of relief from behind me, so I whip around a deliver a spin-kick to Sunglasses' face, making him topple over. "I'm not fucking done with you!" I scream at my initial anger sink. "What kind of person goes out to sea without preparing to something as common as scurvy! I'd ask if you were idiots, but I hate pointing out self-evident bullshit!"

As I went about on my rage-induced rant about seafaring safety, I shut out everything except these four idiots.

-o~O-O~o-

Zoro and Nami were silently watching the admittedly epic telling down Abel was giving to the idiot captain, Usopp and Johny, and by extention, the unconscious Yosaku. Both bearing look of subdued surprise.

"You know," Nami began, "I thought Abel was just a mild mannered guy, but..."

"I get it," Zoro muttered, keeping a keen eye on the situation. "Thought the guy was just a pushover. Now I'm not so sure." And it was rare for Roronoa Zoro to have doubts. But seeing the gothic crossdresser unleashing his unshackled fury made the man change from a calm weirdo with a stick up his ass to a harbinger of demise.

Anyone who could force someone as dense as Luffy to listen and slam fear into his empty head had to be worth something.

Nami herself found certain relief in knowing that there was someone other than herself on the ship with an adequate quantity of common sense. She could also respect how well the crossdresser was commanding the situation, forcing the guys to pay attention to every word he screamed at them.

Without giving it much thought, both of them merely gave slight smiles of amusement as the scene played out.

-o~O-O~o-

Huffing and puffing, I found myself soon out of breath. Screaming my irritation away feels good, but damn is it draining.

"Ok," I say, holding my hands up, breathing heavily. "I'm done now." Time to adress the elephant in the room. I turn to Nami, the only one I can even dream of depending on right now. "Do you have any citrus on board?"

"Some limes in the storage."

"Got it." I nod and turn to Luffy and the stupid Long-nose. "You two, atone for your sins and bring some of those limes up here!"

The two are gone the instant I finish my sentence.

"I-is Yosaku gonna be okay?" Sunglasses asks, terrified to speak in my presence no doubt. He then bows very deeply, forehead mere inches off the deck. "H-he's dying, so please help him!"

"Don't be so dramatic," I scoff dismissively at him as I spy the duo of idiots returning with some limes like compliant choir boys.

Is what I'd want to say.

"Damnit, I didn't say bring the entire barrel!" I yell at the two before rubbing the bridge of my nose. These two... "Whatever. Okay, you idiots. Now squeeze the juice from those limes into the sick guy's mouth. And hold his nose closed so he'll be forced to swallow!"

"You know, for a guy who claims to not know anything about sailing, you seem to know a lot about sailing," I hear Nami remark from the sidelines.

I huff and place my hands on my hips. "It's just common sense where I'm from. Hell, scurvy has basically been exterminated as a threat because everyone knows about it."

"S-so my partner will be okay? Yosaku will be fine?" Sunglasses asks hopefully. "T-thank you so much, ane-san!"

He flinches at my steely glare. "I'm a guy and after all the bloodvessels you almost made burst you better refer to me as Banchou." I state coldly, accepting no compromise. I literally demanded his respect.

"Y-yes, Banchou! Thank you!"

Huffing in satisfaction, I turn back to check on- "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? DON'T SHOVE THE LIMES IN HIS FACE LIKE THAT! ARE YOU TRYING TO CHOKE HIM?"

Souls of my ancestors, give me strength to deal with this crap...

After forcing the two dimwits to do it right, I prepared to wait for the other guy to get better enough to stay conscious and use the time to cool off from my earlier outburst. And so I waited calmly.

Is what I'd want to say.

"Hahahaa! It's a miracle!" Sunglasses hollers in pure joy, jumping arm-in-arm with his friend who got up mere moments after getting treated.

"I feel like a new man!" The other guy, let's call him Shorts, yelled just as joyfully.

I immediately slam my fists on both their skulls. "NO WAY YOU'RE BETTER YET, SIT THE FUCK DOWN!"

Damnit, my fists hurt...

I then proceeded to convince Sunglasses and Shorts to calm the hell down via liberal threats of violence and angry lecturing. So they now sat crosslegged next to one another, their countenances changing dramatically. They even mirrored each other's arm positions.

I realized, much to my ever growing annoyance with these two, that they were trying to act cool.

"I apologize for our belated introduction," Sunglasses starts.

Please tell me they're not-

"We're a famed bounty hunter duo," Shorts continued.

Damnit, they are!

"Johny!"

"Yosaku!"

"Together we are the legendary hunter duo, Sword Saints!" Both proclaimed in sync.

I give them the most suspicious and dead look I have, before turning to Swordsman, quirking my eyebrow in a silent question.

"Johny and Yoasku are bounty hunters, yeah. But they are nothing outside the norm," Swordsman says, causing the two to slump at his brutal honesty. Maybe I've misjudged the guy so far. He seems pretty on the level.

"I figured. I can think of at least one person who'd feel insulted that some duo of dipshits go around calling themselves something as auspicious as Sword Saint," I remark, remembering a certain swordsman of yore. I turn back to the two bounty hunters. "Titles only mean anything if they are given for merit, not by self-conceit."

"Oooh! Such wise words, Banchou!" Sunglasses cheers. Shorts nods along, trying to appear deeply thoughtful. I'm not bying it.

"What a couple of suck-ups," I mutter under my breath so no one can hear it. I still notice Swordsman grin slightly in silent agreement. Level-headed and surprisingly sharp? Huh.

"Regardless, never expected to run into you two again," Zoro addresses the duo.

"Yeah, we're surprised too," Boxers says ."That the famed Pirate Hunter has turned pirate himself."

"Pirate Hunter..." I mumble, turning slowly to look at the absent-eyed boy. "... What kind of a rag-tag crew is this?"

My query went ignore in favor of the two idiots on board and a one-finger excavation of the nose cavity. Ew.

"What are you two doing here anyway?" Name asked.

"Well, you see..." Sunglasses started.

"My partner and I were on the chase for a particularly nasty pirate," Shorts continues, followed by Sunglasses taking reign again.

"But we were caught by surprise in the night and our ship sunk, leaving us to continue the chase with only our spirit and-"

"You're lost, aren't you?" Nami intersected with a deadpan look. The idiots flinch, confirming the statement.

"Oh, that was never in question," I quip in a humorous tone. "I mean, look at that sad exuse of a boat they have! Those are not meant for long distance travel and are meant for quick runs to a nearby landmass. I'd say they were on a very short trip, but lost their way. No one with an iota of intelligence goes seriously seafaring on a dingy."

I grin at my own deduction. Modern Sherloc Holmes, I am. Though I do feel a need to hit Luffy again, for some reason.

"You sure you don't know a thing about sailing?" Nami asks me with a suspicious frown.

"My dear Nami, I solemnly swear this is the first time I've as much as set foot on a boat," I answer dryly. "I just happen to commandeer common sense like a chef handles fine cuisine."

"Sure..." She rolls her eyes. "But that reminds me that this ship really needs a cook. Having one would make situations like that virtually impossible." She absent-mindedly points a tumb at the impressively recovering Shorts.

"Okay! That's decided," Luffy exclaims, done digging into his skull through his nose. "We are going to find a cook!"

"Sadly that is the first sensible thing he's said in a while," Nami said with a sigh. I pat her on the shoulder comfortingly.

"The blessing of common sense can't reach these mongs." I agree, nodding my head at the statement. I then wrap my arm around her shoulders and hold my other fist to my chest. I feel her tense up slightly at the sudden contact, taking note but largely ignoring it. "But that is exactly why sound minds like us need to stay firm in the stead of both morons and meatheads alike! We are the shield that guards them of their own idiocy."

"Oi," Zoro, Sunglasses and Shorts voice their empty disagreements.

"Yeah, makes sense," Luffy agrees.

"DON'T JUST AGREE WITH HIM, HE INSULTED YOU TOO!" The trio shout at the simple captain.

"What? He did?" Luffy tilts his head cluelessly. I... Can't...

"... Huh? Abel?" Nami asks, as my body had started convulsing slightly. Failing to fight it, I let it out.

"Kehehehehe!" I laugh. Not loudly, but not particularly quiet either. "Oh man, for a dumbass you at least know where you stand! That's better than some can claim. Impressive, even."

"Shihihi! Thanks, Abel!" Luffy laughs along, either not catching the backhanded compliment or ignoring it.

I let go of Nami and stepped back to lean my back on the railing of the Going Merry. "But you should do that. Find a cook, I mean. I can quarantee it'll keep you alive AND make your travels much more enjoyable."

"In that case," Boxers says, standing up with his pal.

"We know a place where you could find a good sea cook," Sunglasses finishes.

"Did I say you could move around yet? **Sit**." I shoot them a dark glare. They immediately sat back down on their asses, like a pair of obedient dogs. "And stop speaking in turns! It's more annoying than you realize."

"Sure thing, Banchou!" Sunglasses says.

"One more thing! I'm sorry in advance, but I really need to vent about this. It's been bugging me ever since I saw you two. What the hell are you wearing?!"

-o~O-O~o-

Meanwhile, looking on, Nami, Luffy, Zoro and a frightened Usopp spectated the admittedly amazing way the Gothic Lolita Crossdresser managed to bend the two bounty hunters to his will, lecturing them about their fashion choices. Each with their own thoughts on the subject.

 _'Huh? I thought that guy was just a weird wimp, but he's got steel in his heart. And the way he exerts his will on those two is actually sort of impressive. The guy might be a master at manipulating the wills of others to make them more malleable in his hands.'_ Thought Zoro, honestly impressed.

While Johny and Yosaku weren't anything special, and kind of weak by his standard, they weren't as weak willed as some would assume. They had spirit, he knew that, and a strong survival instinct when knew they were out of their depth. But Zoro himself couldn't even register Abel as a threat, and had no reason to believe he was all that dangerous.

It just made the display of dominant will more impressive. He vowed to keep a closer eye on this one. That, and seeing if the man could resist Luffy's single-minded goal to get him to join them.

As for the captain...

Well, he wasn't actually paying that much attention. Luffy mainly thought of what kinds of meat his new cook should be able to cook.

Back to actually relevant thoughts.

 _'Gaaah, Abel is really scary!'_ Usopp thought. _'She- I mean he's totally got those bounty hunters on a leash. Those two must fight terrifying pirates regularly, so to scare them into submission...'_

What Usopp didn't know is that Johny and Yosaku weren't as profilic or nearly as brave as his wild imagination made them out to be. They weren't massive cowards or anything, but his vision was anything but factually correct.

Nami on the other hand wasn't that much paying attention to what Abel was saying, or to who. What she drew attention to was _how_ he said what he did.

He was currently standing over the two bounty hunters, lecturing them on how to make their clothes not clash so horribly with each other and was briefly impressively livid at Yosaku's boxers for some reason. He was shaking his finger disapprovingly and scolding the two like they were misbehaving children. So Nami couldn't help but be taken aback at what Abel's lecturing reminded her of, in tone at least.

 _'Belle-mere...'_ Nami thought, the image of who was basically her mother scolding two little girls flashing through her mind, overlaid with the scene before her. The image was tinged with great sadness.

Only for another to replace it, as Nami felt a great hatred bubble deep within. She drew her hands into tight fists, keeping a calm expression in place. The thief shook her head to clear her thoughts. She didn't need distractions like this.

 _'I swear. This all will end soon...'_

"- I mean, seriously! Where did you buy this, at a flea market or a dumpster? The quality of the fabric is so bad it almost makes me physically ill! Invest a little in your appearance, for fucks sake! To a bounty hunter, image can be as important as skill or technique. And another thing!" Abel kept going on his rambling lecture to the unlucky bounty hunting pair. It would take half an hour for him to stop.

-o~O-O~o-

It took a full day to get to the crew's destination. A seabound restaurant called the Baratie. I felt a slight shake in the codex, like the world's most annying smartphone, and after rifling through it I found an entry on it.

Apparently it's a place owned and run by an old pirate named Zeff and was the most famous restaurant of it's kind. I also got the image that this is one sea-faring establishment you don't want to fuck with. Apparently being a "great" target for pirates and other assholes forces you to take in certain types of employees.

I also skimmed some other vague entries that I didn't find that important. Like, who the fuck is Krieg( _inspired_ name, by the way) and why should I care? Just once, give me proper context, you blank-paged motherfucker!

Anyway, I was cranky and hungry, so I just wanted to order some decent food on the expense of Nami. I refuse to believe she gives those three stooges access to funds unless she has to. I even okay-ed it from her! She was just glad I asked, like a polite individual. I think she was also a bit shocked at how hilariously honestly I worded it.

Literally: "I want to eat, I've got no money, so I'd like to ask to mooch off of you."

Wasn't even formed as a question, just a statement of intent. I can't believe I got that to fly.

But there was just one problem now.

There was another ship by ours, and I had a bad feeling. Mainly because that was a marine vessel- basically the local asshole law enforcement -and I was on board of a fucking _pirate ship_! There is no explanation that'll get me out of this, short of acting like I'm being held captive, which by a glance is obviously not true. I am carrying my rifle, for fucks sake!

"Um, excuse me," I raised my hand and and addressed the pink-haired( _ **why?**_ ) marine, whose name I knew because he couldn't shut up about it but refused to awknowledge. "I'm just a civilian hitching a ride. Mind if I get off before you sink this boat?"

"A likely story! But thank you for the idea," Pinky spat my way. "Men, take aim! Sink that thing to the bottom of the sea!"

"... Shit."

"Nice work standing by us, by the way," Zoro snarks.

"Shut up! I hold no loyalty to any of you," I return fire. "Excuse me for not wanting to be branded a pirate, unlike you rebels. I like living a conflict free, safe existence. Filled with copious amounts of alcohol and possible barfights, but still."

"Don't just talk like nothing is happening!" Nami screamed. "Those marines are about to fire at us!"

I shrug. "Eh, I can swim to the restaura- shit, no I can't. I have no money." Well, fuck.

Just then a cannon fired and I was just about ready to jump ship when Luffy inhaled air and inflated like a balloon, catching the cannon ball with his stretchy gut and ricochet'd it away from the ship.

My eyes must've been bugging out as something came to me. something so terrible I'd forgotten it voluntarily.

"Oh yeah," I mumble audibly. "That thing I was trying to repress." I weakly turn to the only one who could possibly make sense of this to me. "Nami, I don't think I can repress that twice. It's a pattern now. I need to know what that is about."

The orange-haired thief raised a brow. "I told you-"

"Yeah. Devil Fruit-something. That means nothing to me! Context! It is important!"

"Oh, well I don't really know, really. Just rumors but I suppose I could try- OH GOD DAMNIT!" Nami suddenly screetched, looking past me. "Luffy, what did you do?"

"Sorry. Wasn't on purpose!"

I turned and saw the restaurant called Baratie. And a hole that was blown on the upper level's roof. From the cannon ball Luffy deflected, no doubt.

God damnit, this just screams trouble.

"... Fuck this. Want dinner?" I ask Nami, willing to let my stomach talk before I succumb to chroking the straw-hat boy till he is permanently blue.

-o~O-O~o-

"... That makes no sense." I state my mind.

"I'm sorry to tell you, but that is literally the best I can explain it."

After forcing Luffy to make amends for his mistake, the rest had gone to the restaurant to do what it was meant for. Well, me and Nami were there. The rest were doing something at the ship. Said they'd come after soon.

But before anything, I had Nami explain this 'Devil Fruit' business to me. Basic explanation: It's a mythical _magic_ fruit that gives people who eat them fucking super powers, but make them lose strength and sink in water. Luffy had eaten the Gum-Gum Fruit, which made his entire body rubber. Made no fucking sense, but I am nothing if determined to debunk bullshit.

"Hmm, it's likely that these so called powers are just metaphysical changes in the subjects core biology, reconstructoring them down to the molecular level. The Fruit simply holds unstable but benign mutagens that force this change to occur," I mutter, mostly to myself.

"... I have no idea what you just said, but it sounds like you're reaching. Like, a lot."

"No I'm not," I say, not at all defensively. My theory is flawless! "Besides, not being able to swim when most of the world is ocean? That is such a massive handicap it's almost suicidally stupid. Literally no one would do it." She was giving me a look. "Okay, almost no one sane would do it."

"Do what?" Long-nose quips and joins us, along with Zoro.

"Forget it," I wave his question off, annoyed. "Just trying to keep my brain from melting from the insanity."

He shrugs and waits with the rest of us. Luffy has been talking to the guy who owns this place for a while, I think, but all I can do is wait for someone to come take our orders. My expectations grow by the second and I expect them to be met, damnit!

I propped my face up with my hand in boredom and just eyed my surroundings. The Baratie was... shockingly normal and plain. I literally have nothing special to say about it. Well, okay, yes I do! On the outside it looks like a fish. Whoever approved of that idea makes the bottom of my boot thirsty for a good kicking. It just looks so damn ridiculous! I can't even!

"Think Luffy can-"

"No," Zoro and Nami interrupt Long-nose's question.

"Usopp, let's be honest. This is Luffy we're talking about," Nami says.

"I just hope this won't take too long. I'd rather hit port sooner rather than later," I remark... Actually, "Wait, maybe I could hitch a ride from some other ship that passes by here?"

"Probably," Zoro agrees. "Would you?"

"Well, I mean," I mutter, thinking it through "I don't think I'd trust just anyone to get me anywhere. And since I kind of know you guys and can kind of place trust in you, I think I'd stick around."

"Oh, so you're joining my crew?"

I nod.

"Yes, exact-" I freeze as the sentence hangs orphaned in the air. I turn slightly to see Luffy's face way too close for comfort. My eyes slowly shift to a glare. "... Don't trick me into making empty promises. Also, personal space." I push his face away.

"Shishishi! It's okay. You'll come around." The way he smiles does not help me accept, no matter how much he does it.

I let out a deep sigh. I need to distract myself from this. Where the fuck is that waiter to take our orders?

"Hey, quit bothering the lady, choreboy!" We all turn to see a blond-haired man in a black suit approach our table. He carried himself like a professional, back straight yet casual enough to not seem uptight. I also noted the weird way his only visible eyebrow formed a curl. Strange, but okay.

"... Choreboy?" Zoro asks, confused.

"Luffy... What did you do?" Nami questions the idiot. I feel her dread, truly I do.

Seriously, he's already in trouble? What the hell?

"Are you the crew of this clumsy idiot, miss?" Blondie asks Nami in a very polite manner. The navigator nods, with only faint reluctance. "Your captain is working to pay for the damages he caused on the restaurant."

Oh. Well, that makes sense and doesn't sound so bad.

"But it wasn't my fault," Luffy pouted. I was inclined to agree with him, if only because I hated that pink-haired rat more at the moment.

"Shut your trap, choreboy! Save the excuses and get back to work!" The order was compounded with a truly fierce kick to the skull. But if Luffy's body truly was rubber, I don't think the impact is more than a minor inconvenience.

Funny, this guy was perfectly polite to Nami, and even to me. But when it came to Luffy... Oh... Ooooh. I see. So he's one of those types.

The grin within my soul widens to inhuman levels. I know what to do.

" _Excuse me, but do you perhaps work here?_ " I ask in my melodic female voice. " _You see, my entourage and I were waiting for a waiter to come take our order and were getting quite upset at the wait, but I wouldn't complain if it was a dashing man like you._ " I then wink, ignoring the looks Zoro and Long-nose are giving at my flirty behaviour.

Blondie's eyes run over my features and immediately turn to hearts at my charm. And I am being as literal as I can possibly be. Literally, his eyes changed into cartoony hearts and jumped out of their sockets, while _beating_. It was creepy beyond all belief, but I kept a cool facàde.

"Of course, madam! Sorry to keep you waiting, this place is up to brim with incompetent bastards," Blondie said in a gentlemanly manner, getting down on a knee and holding my hand daintily. "I am Sanji, the sous chef of the Baratie, and today your waiter, if it pleases you." He then lightly kissed the back of my hand. A chivalrous soul? Rare.

I let out a giggle, mouth slightly hidden behind my free hand. " _Oh my~, and I thought chivalry and knightly values were a myth! Color me impressed_." That man is just eating this up. Perfect! I let out a dramatic sigh. " _But alas, as much as I appreciate your valor, darling, I am a bit of a bind._ "

Blondie snaps out of his amorous phase and shifts into seriousness in a blink. "Please, tell me. I couldn't sit by and leave a lday to her troubles." He was basically putty in my hands now. I just needed to sell this.

I took upon despondent features and sighed in sorrow. " _Well, I've had a trying time as of late. For what seemed like an eternity I was stranded on an island, all by my lonesome. It was so harrowing I'd likely gone mad if not the timely arrival of my saviors_ ," I exposit, shooting Nami a covert looks before continuing. " _And now here I have a chance to finally enjoy the finer things in life, but I'm afraid I lack funds and am forced to take out of the pocket of my dear friend. But it just gnaws at me, the guilt, of taking advantage of her like that_." I say this while pointedly gesturing at the orange-haired girl next to me.

The coup de grâce was a release of a sigh so broken it could only come from the heart of a conflicted maiden in distress. I could visually confirm it struck his heart like the Cupid's arrow. Now I just needed the final piece to fall in place.

"Oh, no, no! Don't worry Abel, it's fine, really. I mean, it'll be tough, but I'd do anything for my dear friend," Nami says, waving her hands in a calming and reassuring manner. I squel of joy inside. She got my signal!

I wipe away a non-existent tear with a faint melancholic smile. " _Oh, Nami. Such a saint, you are. But I can't just use you for my own benefit. I'd be absolutely distraught if I caused you any strife_."

"Ladies, please, put aside your worries," Blondie says, lighting a cigarette while looking all calm and cool. Trying to impress two women in trouble. How predictable. "I can't ignore such an injustice as a lady in distress. Fear not, I'll take it on myself personally to prepare my finest for you, free of charge."

A shocked gasp. " _Oh my, are you certain? Won't you get in trouble? I wouldn't want to inconvenience..._ " Utilizing one of my lesser used talents, I make a sound deep in my throat, a good impression of a stomach aching of hunger. Peppered with a faint wince of hunger pains.

That really get's to him. A fire practically igniting in his eyes. I'd chucle evilly if it didn't break the act. "Fear not for me, Abel-san, Nami-san. A true chef doesn't allow a soul to be hungry when they can provide. And anyone who says otherwise can go die."

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a hook, line and sinker in manipulation!

I send a radiant smile his way. " _Oh, I can't possibly thank you enough! I... Umm..._ " I feing hesitation for a moment before standing up a little and landing a light peck on his cheek. I then sit back down and act bashfully. " _A show of my appreciation, as my words seem to have failed me_."

The blond chef has a goofy look on his blushing face as he turns his back to us. "Leave this to me, Abel-chan! I'll be back shortly, my dark angel!" He then left in a hurry.

"Hey, wait, aren't we getting to order?" Zoro remarked, speaking for the first time in a while.

"You bastards get whatever you're given!" With the rude snap at the swordsman, Blondie went to the kitchen.

I am quiet for a while before smiling very contently. Then a light laugh bubbles out of my mouth, unmasked and unchanged.

"Abel..." Nami says, looking at me expressionlessly. "That... was... absolutely incredible and evil!" She then begins laughing softly with me, smiling.

"What, did you actually want to pay for my share of the food?" I ask rhetorically with a grin of my own. "Oh, that poor womanizing, chivalrous fool. I have him wrapped right around my finger. I bet I could make him do anything for me."

"... You are terrifying, you know that?" Long-nose whispers, staring at me in shock and awe.

"Oh, without a doubt," I answer easily. "But who is the one getting a free meal for two, hmm?"

"Was all that nonesense really necessary?" Zoro asks, sounding more bored than anything.

"I'll have you know that an actor worth their salt doesn't half-ass a performance," I lecture him, pride tinging my tone. "Whether it be a quiver in your voice, a tear in your eye, or-" I blow a kiss and wink at the swordsman, who reacts with an annoyed snarl. "-a show of affection. And I do dare say I am a master at playing my part."

"I have to say, Abel. You're actually pretty great," Nami says with a sly smile, patting me on the back. I grin back.

"Oh, you just say that because I saved you money," I remark, winking at her. "But who am I to turn down compliments from a master thief? I take it you've used this particular strategy before, yes?"

She shrugs. "Once or twice. You'd be surprised what certain types are willing to do to impress a girl."

"Oh, believe-you-me, I know that all to well," I say, fondly remembering the many times I've got myself free drinks on the expense of horny idiots. "Thanks for going with that, by the way. Made it all the more easy."

"My pleasure. Anything for a friend," she says with a smile, though I notice it falter for just a second. Something came to her just then? Interesting.

"... Anyway, Luffy?" Zoro speaks up.

"Hm? What?" Luffy says dumbly. "Wasn't paying attention."

"Of course..." Zoro grumbles. "Luffy, how long do you have to work here?"

"Three years."

...

...

"WHAT?!" Zoro, Long-nose and Nami screamed at their captain. I just landed my face into my welcoming palms. Damnit, this is exactly what I don't need.

I stayed out of the ribbing the three were giving their captain. While not starving, I really could do with a great meal, so I decided to wait and let those three hash this out amongst themselves. Granted, this could be a problem, but I'll worry about it later.

After a while Blondie, I mean, Sanji came back with full course meals for both me and Nami. The guys got bland soup. I naturally fell back into my feminine act, milking this for what it was worth. I held no doubt that when I was found out, I will be a dead man walking. But It was so worth it!

And... Well, I am not a master of articulating what something tastes like. Years of alcohol and tasteless garbage have kind of numbed my taste buds to everything. After a while everything tastes like cartboard. But this food... What Sanji had made.. Let me put it this way. If God existed, this would be their breakfast, lunch, dinner and late-night snack. And they would be very, very fat and very, very happy.

Every bite was like a mythical elixir rejuvenating all my tastebuds to when I was little, absolutely adorable and innocent and enjoyng something warm my mom had made me. I wonder if she still...

I wasn't crying a little. Shut up.

I spent the rest of the meal in peace and quiet, enclosing myself to my own patch of paradise.

Is what I'd wanted to say.

A gunshot rang out as a marine fell through the front entrance. After him came a sickly looking man holding a gun. Without saying a word, the man walked over to a table by the window and sat down.

"This is a restaurant right? I want some food."

...

God damnit, Abel! Turn to your meal and savor it! Just eat and ignore the situation happening at this very second!

This is not my fucking problem!

...

...

My appetite was gone.

DAMN YOU, MY CURIOUS NATURE!

-o~O-O~o-

 _ **Welp, at least the food was delish! And on a massive discount too! The lesson is that lying about your identity gets you anything.**_

 _ **Holy crap, these keep getting longer than the last! I am worried for my sanity if this trend keeps happening.**_

 _ **In case you haven't noticed, Abel is kind of a horrible person when the mood strikes him. He also doesn't use the names of anyone he doesn't respect.**_

 _ **Before we end it here, a scene that is canon, but I couldn't find it in me to place it comfortably into the schapter itself.**_

-o~O-O~o-

Canon-scene:

-Just a teeny gap-

"... Excuse me, what?" I ask out loud.

Currently, everyone was back in the cabin, just hanging around. Sunglasses and Shorts had given directions to a famous sea-bound restaurant around these parts. A restaurant at sea. Novel.

Anyway, back to what I was on about.

"What? I just said that Johny and Yosaku are kind of weak by my standards," Swordsman repated what he'd said previously.

I narrow my eyes, sitting down on the table and cracking my fist. "Hey, Sunglasses! Sit your ass down!" I point opposite to me.

"Umm, sure? Why?" Sunglasses says and sits down, only to be met with my elbow propped against the wooden surface.

"Arm wrestle me. Now!"

I can almost feel all the raised eyebrows around me. I don't give a shit, this is important!

"Uh... Again, why?"

"Shut up and help me assess your strength level!" I ask him. And by ask, I mean demand. "I need clarity on this! And you are my only dependable point of reference at this point."

Sunglasses stares at me, shrugs and places his elbow on the table, grabbing my propped-up hand in his.

I'd done this before at the bar sometimes to fuck with people. They don't expect someone so dainty looking to be strong enough to give them a chalenge. I'd almost never lost, a bit due to the element of surprise, but also because my upper body strength was fairly above average, despite how thin my stick arms appeared.

"On the count of three. You are forbidden from holding back, understand?" I set my terms, simple and clear. I think I can see the fire in my eyes reflecting from those shades he is packing.

"Sure, I guess."

I nod and then do a slow count.

"One... Two... Three!" Immediately I go to force his arm to the side with all I can muster.

*SLAM!*

"FUCK!" I scream out, pulling my arm back, holding it by the writst. My hand had just been smashed into the table, with considerable force and now the back of my hand felt like it had hit a brick wall at full speed. It was already starting to bruise. "By my ancestors, what the fuck just happened?!"

"Uh, I won," Sunglasses said, sounding a bit unsure.

A small snarl escapes me, but I reign it back in and take a deep breath. "Okay. Okay, maybe I got caught off-guard. Different approach. Again, but this time I need to assess mine. Sunglasses, you hold your hand in place and try to prevent me from moving it. Understand?"

Sunglasses nods and I grasp his hand again and get into position. I'm barely paying mind to the eyes I've got plastered solely on me.

"On three you will do your damndest to not allow me to move your hand an inch. One... Two... Three!" I begin applying as much pressure right off the bat as I am physically capable. I find myself growing increasingly annoyed that Sunglasses' arm isn't bending for shit, or even shaking from any visible strain.

"..." Sunglasses was staring at me vacantly. "Uhh, no offense or anything-"

"All... offense... taken," I snarl, gritting my teeth as the arm just won't. Fucking. MOVE!

"... Um, are you really trying?"

"Of course I'm- fucking- What the hell?!" I scream in fury, joining my other hand to try to push the fucker anywhere. It at last looks like I'm making any progress, but only after I started applying my full body weight into it. I finally let go, gasping for air from the sheer effort.

I turn an irritated and pained glare at Swordsman. "How the fuck is that weak by your standards?! I think my hand wants to file divorce papers out of performance shame!"

"They just are," Swordsman says and has the audacity to smirk. "But I think I just found the bottom of the barrel."

"I can be the bottom of _your_ barrel," I say in a sultry tone and give my lips a slow, sensual lick.

"STOP THAT, YOU FREAK!"

"DON'T CALL ME A FREAK, MEATHEAD! AND DON'T CALL ME WEAK EITHER!" I scream back at Swordsman. "I'll have you know where I'm from I am of above average strength!"

"Well, we're here now, so deal with it!"

"... Son of a bitch, I can't actually argue with that." I admit defeat... begrudingly. I ignored how everyone begun laughing at my expense. I had more important things to consider. I really need to rethink my position in this new world. If the gap in regular, base-line strength is this vast between my world and this one...

Crap, I might be in huge trouble if shit ever hits the fan.

-o~O-O~o-

 _ **Yup. By One Piece standards of power, Abel is physically on the worst possible level. *Disgusted retching* As much as it digs at me to admit, Abel is barely stronger than Spandam. He is almost weaker than the average marine mook! That's just pathetic, and not fun for him at all.**_

 _ **Luckily, he has a few ways to compensate...**_

 _ **By the way, I am seeing very few reviews. For the few of you that did leave some, thank you! You are fuel to my fire(ego the size of a Jupiter). To the rest of you, pick up your game. Give me something! If I don't get the shit beat out of me when I fuck up, HOW WILL I LEARN?!**_

 _ **-New N' Tasty, C-Hablerie**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5: Strike! The Deceitful Pragmatist!**_

To enjoy a good meal. A freaking amazing meal that actually made me taste again after years of chronic staleness. To be allowed to eat in peace so I can relax and momentarily forget the insanity I am drenched in. Peace and quiet. That is _literally_ all I wanted.

Why is that too much to ask? Is all that bad karma finally getting into effect? Fuck that, I don't believe in karma! But that just makes me ask the obvious.

"Why the fuck is this happening?" I mumble into the table, my face getting intimately familiar with the grooves on the wood. They didn't have much to tell and I'm pretty sure they were suing for sexual harassment.

To recap why I am so miserable, a man had just barged into the Baratie, shot a marine and demanded food. My food lies next to me, unfinished, surely calling me a massive bitch for not letting it inside me. I can't help it. My unhealthy obsession with sticking my nose into things it doesn't belong is just too strong.

Which was why I was begrudgingly paying attention to the man and what was about to happen. I had a few paths which this could go. The betting pool was on and it was getting crazy!

...

Oh god, what is happening to me?

Anyway, one of the staff of the Baratie, a big, surly man whose forearms put Popeye to shame, approached the man. By the amazingly fake smile on his face, I could tell that he was not having any of this guy's bullshit. That was an aura of a hardened man I got from him.

That sickly man was in for a ride, I predict it.

Luckily, they were well within hearing distance. Let the eavesdropping commence!

"Hello, good customer! How may we serve you, bastard?" the big cook guy asked, tone laced with joy so fake it might as well be counterfeit play money. That is to say, less than fakeness allows.

Literally, no one is buying that. I think Even Luffy can see through acting that lousy.

"This is a restaurant, right?" said the sickly man asked in return, looking less than friendly. Or maybe that's his neutral face? "I'm starving and I'd like some food." The groaning his stomach let out proved that he wasn't lying about that.

"I see, I see," The big guy said, rubbing his hands together, fakeness oozing out of his ears. "And how would you intend to pay for your meal, bastard?"

A swift movement later the shooty end of a pistol was pointing at the man's face. "If it comes down to that, I think lead will suffice," The sickly man said. The line was kind of badass, I will give him that.

But man, you just fucked up something royal. I give the man my brief and unsubstantial pity, as I foresee the coming events.

"I see, I see," the big guy says, nodding his head, all the while wearing that fake ass smile. Then it just vanishes as he slams the guys head with both hands, slamming his head into the table he was sitting by and breaking it in half. "No pay, no service, you filthy bastard!"

Alas, poor Yorick, I knew thee not. But thine mistakes be the damnation of thine own make.

The man's limp, but conscious form was unceremoniously thrown out the door. It was as I predicted. You don't fuck with chefs who are prepared to fend off pirates if the need arrives. I know basically nothing, but at least I can pick things up pretty quickly. Our sickly friend obviously was less observant, or maybe desperate enough to not care.

...

"Well, that happened," I state nonchalantly, turning back to my food. Better eat it before it gets cold and less appetizing.

...

...

NO! You are not involved in this! The guy made his poor choices, let him suffer the consequences! This is not my problem!

...

...

"Fucking hell," I growl and get to stand up. I just can't catch a break today, what the fuck! I then see that Sanji is heading outside with a place of rice. I shoot a glance at my leftovers, some juicy pieces of mutton and assorted salads.

...

-o~O-O~o-

Monkey D. Luffy was a very peculiar person. Perhaps not the brightest or the most crafty, but he knew that. He was very well aware that he wasn't perfect. But he was curious, and when something got his interest it was impossible to dissuade him from looking into it. He could also be very sneaky when he wanted to be.

Hence why he was observing Sanji surprisingly covertly from the upper balcony of the Baratie as he approached the man who had been thrown out. The man didn't look so good, in Luffy's opinion. Too ashen and those bags under his eyes couldn't be anything good.

Something about Sanji had struck a chord with the Rubber Man. Something that just drew his attention to the blonde cook. And it wasn't long before that intrigue was rewarded.

"You said you were starving, right?" Sanji asked the man leaning on the railing on the lower level. He placed a plate of rice on the ground in front of the man. "Here."

The man glared at the plate as if it had done something unforgivable to him.

"I don't need your pity," The man growled. Luffy frowned. What kind of an idiot doesn't want food? "Stop looking down on me."

Sanji stared neutrally at the man before taking out a cigarette and lighting it. "Do you know what a cook's duty is?" When he got no response, he continued. "A cook's duty is to make food and feed the hungry. To leave not a single soul starving."

Luffy smiled widely. Sanji was a good guy, helping someone in need like that.

The man still eyed the plate of rice before him like it might explode any second, but even to Luffy, it was obvious that he was really hungry.

" _Oh, just stop pussyfooting around_!" Luffy blinked as someone else stepped out of the restaurant. He knew who it was just from the voice. It was Abel doing that cool thing with his voice! Luffy was really paying attention now.

Abel was also carrying a plate in his hands and placed it next to the one Sanji had brought.

"Abel-chan?" Sanji said quietly, a bit shocked.

" _Rice is a bit bland on its own. Some complements should make it better_ ," Abel said, looking at the starving man, hands on his hips. " _Now suck up that stupid pride and eat! Starving yourself isn't a pride thing, it's compounded idiocy_."

"..." The man stared at the two in shock. "... Why? Why are you helping me?"

"I'm a cook. It's my duty to feed the hungry," Sanji stated simply.

Abel crossed his arms and huffed, raising her nose to point up. " _I needn't share my reasonings. Now shut up and eat before I'm forced to take excessive action_!"

Despite the bark in the threat, Luffy could sense that Abel didn't actually mean it. The weird dress-guy acted really scary at times, and his punch reminded Luffy a bit too much of Gramps for his liking, but Luffy was sure of one thing.

Abel was a really great guy. He'd absolutely make him a part of his crew! And Sanji too! He'd make an awesome member, and he was a cook too. It was perfect!

As the sickly man finally began eating and broke down in tears before his two saviors, Luffy saw that they both smiled. Sanji's smile was glad and content, while Abel's was similar, but felt... different. Luffy frowned.

Something about Abel's smile felt... off.

-o~O-O~o-

The man introduced himself to Sanji and me as Gin and vowed to repay us for saving his life. A bit dramatic of him, but I allowed it to slide. He left on a small boat Sanji "accidentally" let him steal. Stupid chivalrous fool. Good for him.

It was almost immediately after that Luffy appeared, almost out of thin air, and stated that he wanted Sanji to join his crew. Understandably the cook refused, only for Luffy to refuse his refusal. I quickly vacated the area and headed back inside once he was distracted enough with his new mark.

As Luffy needed to pay off his debt to the head chef for fucking up the Baratie a bit, what followed was a lot of waiting. As Luffy worked(and kept failing) the rest of the crew, plus me, debated on what to do about this. Obviously, staying here for three full years was out of the question. Everyone had better things to do.

Long-nose tried to almost mutiny and take the captain's spot, only to be dissuaded with a good lecture on responsibilities of a captain by yours truly. Dropped some hard knocks on his noggin, and dissuaded him of the notion, at least for now.

Zoro motioned that we just pay off the debt, which was shot down by Nami, for obvious albeit greedy reasons. Not that we had enough at hand anyway.

On our third day waiting, Nami wrangled me into trying to negotiate a deal with the owner, Zeff. I just want to say, that man scares me, and I don't even know why. He just has a really dangerous aura that seems to have faded a bit with age but is no less apparent to my sixth sense. For an old geezer with a peg-leg, this man smells of danger. Definitely get that he was a pirate before this.

Also, his mustache is ridiculous in how much it makes me impressed that he can maintain it so well. Kudos for dedication to a look.

So yeah. The negotiations went nowhere, as you'd probably guess. The guy was an immovable object and I was pushing in vain. At first, anyway. After a considerable time debating and making my case, I did manage to strike a deal.

Although...

"Only one year?!" Nami shrieked incredulously.

"Hey, lay off me! I did the best I could," I defend myself. "You're lucky I managed to shorten it to only two years instead of three. The guy is old and experienced in bargaining, and it shows."

Long-nose sighed and rested his head on the railing of Going Merry, our meeting place. "This is going to be our lives for a while, huh?"

"Damn it, Luffy," Zoro mumbled, clearly as annoyed at this situation as the rest of us.

"But it's not my fault," Luffy whined, skipping his job again. I swear Luffy has to be the worst kind of ADHD kid.

Nami let out a sigh. "Can't be helped. At least you managed some results. Thanks."

"I won't accept those thanks on the account that I don't want to," I mutter. I didn't feel satisfied with my negotiating, and that annoyed me immensely. "At least the food is pretty good."

"Speak for yourself," Zoro snapped at me, annoyed. I cackle under my breath while shooting him a jeering grin.

Oh yes, Sanji had been most welcoming and understanding to out circumstance and had served us delicious food on a massive discount. And by that, I mean free. Me and Nami, that is. The guys only got the same bland soup every time and had to pay out of pocket. Didn't help that Sanji and Zoro just couldn't help but snap at each other.

I can almost feel the shadow of death I'm hanging on my shoulders by continuing to flirt with him as my female persona. I'm in no hurry to stop though. Anyone who says no to free food is a moralizing idiot.

Speaking of the gentleman cook, he was being pestered by Luffy constantly about joining his crew, much to the blonde's annoyance. Watching it had made me reconsider just how seriously I should take Zoro's claims of the kid's stubbornness. I needed to leave this crew behind me before his influence claws it's way into my soul.

It was so weird, yet so informative watching this as an outsider. I fear for my sanity if I ever cave into the pressure and go mad enough to even consider joining that idiot. That is a commitment I was not sure I was willing to make.

Speaking off, I spotted Luffy staring off into the mist covered distance, hanging from the Merry's figurehead. Odd. When it came to this situation of ours, he usually paid at least some attention.

So I too, out of a whim, gazed into the mist that was almost as thick as smoke. And suddenly I didn't feel so whimsical. Something was off... something foreboding. I'd always been proud of my ability to sense the atmosphere and read people. It had come handy numerous times. It was my own personal sixth sense. And now it was going crazy about something. A really discomforting gut feeling.

"... Oh shit," I mumble to myself as I begin to see a faint shape in the mist. A really big shape.

"Hm? What is it, Abel?" Nami asks me, having apparently noticed my noticeable discomfort. Damnit, I lost my cool and let it show! My inner actor is infuriated at this failure.

"..." I keep staring at the shape as it becomes more distinct. A bad feeling crawls through my spine like a centipede. "... Everyone." I point into the mist. Regaining my calm. "I think _that_ might be trouble."

Everyone turned to look, and Nami and Long-noses faces grew ashen. Likely the result of the massive ship now only a few meters away from the Baratie, shadowed by the mist in a shroud of ominousness.

"Pirates?" Zoro spoke, the only one besides Luffy and I not freaking out.

"I'd say that's a safe assumption," I respond, not letting the ship out of my sights as the fog begins to lift slowly.

The sight sure is something, and not in the way I'd thought. The ship was, in fact, a massive pirate ship, based on the black flag, but that was the last thing on my mind. The ship was an absolute wreck. The sails were torn to the point of near uselessness, the bowhead was missing a large piece of it and the hull looked like someone had hacked at it with a massive knife.

That, I concluded, was one beat up ship. And I faintly recognized that flag.

"... Fuck me," I growl and pick up my stupid white paperweight and start skimming it. Very quickly, and people notice.

"W-wait, you know whose ship that is?" Long-nose asks. I can basically hear his knees rattle.

"Maybe," I say calmly. "I think I saw that flag somewhere... here!" I stop and read. "... Shit."

"What? What?! Is that really dangerous? Are we going to di-"

" **Cram it** ," I order Long-nose to calm his shit He does. Good! I turn back to the ship. "That there is the ship of the Krieg Pirates, led by "Foul-Play" Krieg, the owner of most try-hard name ever. He is wanted for being a pirate and a massive dick, the book's words, not mine. Lists some of the tricks he's pulled, like masquerading as a marine ship to raid towns." I read out loud, omitting information I don't find relevant enough. "He has a bounty of-" I stop.

My eyes widen as I scan my eyes through every. Single. Number.

"... Seventeen Million!? I¨ve never even seen a number that high! Is that standard around here?"

"By East Blue standards it's pretty high," Zoro commented like it wasn't a big deal. "Bounties that mean anything generally come in at least two million."

".. How fucking weak is your currency?" I ask rhetorically, not giving anyone a chance to answer. "Shit, this is like that situation with Yen all over again! Only somehow worse. Why the hell does- where's Luffy?"

That got their attention, as well as mine. The straw hat-wearing monkey in a boy's body was gone. And that was very unsettling to some of us.

"Should've figured," Zoro mumbles. "Usopp and I'll go look. You two can guard the ship with Johny and Yosaku."

"Oh yeah, those two are still here," I remark to no one. "I'd almost forgotten."

"Come on, Abel-Banchou! We'te not that forgettable," Johny- yes I finally got tired of calling those two by their hideous apparel -says.

"With those clothes, you should be," I say, glaring at their annoying ensemble coldly. The bounty hunter and his partner sulk.

Those two had been placed as glorified boat guards and quite frankly I hadn't paid much attention to them. Just enough to appreciate how they now glorified the ground I walked on. As they should.

I am an amazing role model!

"But yeah, you should go find Luffy," I agree with Zoro's plan. "Like, right now, before we end up in a situation no one wants. Or he makes my negotiation a waste of my time."

Zoro nodded and the two left. Well, more specifically Zoro left and dragged Long-nose with him, who'd tried to sneak off into the bowels of the ship to hide. Seriously, man, I don't want to hate you or anything, but you are not endearing yourself to me, at all!

Staring at the ship that dwarfed the Going Merry, I prepared myself to take my rifle out at any moment. I might be outweighed when it came to strength in this world, but I knew that anyone with a gun is a danger to be taken seriously. I'd just hope that was true enough in this world, though Luffy's- as I was informed - _immunity to bullets_ didn't make me very hopeful that that was exactly the case.

And then there was this Krieg prick. Chances are he could become a massive problem, and if I am to be perfectly honest, I've never outright hated a man just from reading about him. I was the type to let actions speak for the character of an individual. But this man was an exception. Certain things I'd read, that I knew with ninety-five percent certainty to be accurate and true, caused my blood to boil.

"Hey, calm down," Nami spoke. "It's not like Luffy can make this any worse than it already is."

I stare at her words of comfort blankly, annoyed at her phrasing. She had no idea, did she?

"... Wanna bet?"

-o~O-O~o-

"Kehehehe! Kehehehe!" I cackle, staring at the blue sky, my first local currency in my possession. A fair stack of paper notes held prominently in my hands as if showing off a prize at a fair where all the games are rigged. I held that stack up like I was that baboon holding the Lion King!

Easiest 15.000 I've ever made.

"I can't believe I took that bet," Nami grumbles, having forced herself to part with her money. The exchange seemed to physically cause her pain. She was mad, but I didn't care.

"Your fault for jinxing yourself!" I say and keep laughing shamelessly.

You see, just the opposite of what Nami predicted, Luffy had made things worse. A lot worse, because within an hour he'd be picking a fight with Don Krieg and his crony crew after they tried to take over the Baratie and offended his dream or whatever. And that meant we were dead in the middle of that conflict and might actually die.

But fuck it! I got money out of it!

Still, knowing when enough is enough, I let Nami's suffering under my ridicule end and take on the seriousness this situation needs. The money went into an empty pocket in my ammo bag.

"Still, this is bad. Extremely bad. Don Krieg is known for being a tricky bastard who does not play fair. Based on what Zoro and Long-nose told me, his only real weakness appears to be his arrogance and inflated ego," I analyze the situation quickly. "And that fact is a bit disconcerting. The guy talks about himself a lot, but there is at least some merit behind it instead of just empty boasting."

I glance at the absolute wreck of a ship. "Even if escape was an option which, thanks to Luffy, it isn't, their cannons could sink us at any time. We're between a rock and a hard place, and to struggle is the only option."

"That was quick," Nami remarked, be it my sudden tone shift or swift analysis. "Damn, that idiot! Forcing us into this stupid fight!"

"I'm with you on that one, one hundred percent," I nod. "But even if he hadn't, I don't think Krieg is the type to let anyone off easy. Chances are he'd have dealt with us anyway."

"So we'll just have to beat him and his crew up," Zoro remarked, looking fairly unconcerned

"You know, one day I'll figure out what makes you so stupid-slash-confident," I muttered loudly. "But seems like that's the only way to go. Damnit! This is exactly what I didn't want from today!"

As much as I bitched, I'd probably ended up feeling bad for just ditching this place. Sanji is an amazing chef, and this place clearly means much to everyone working there, so I'd feel like an utter dick for running away. But I wasn't a fighter, damnit! I could do it, sure, but by the standards of this world, I was nothing.

I needed to think this through...

A bit later Nami and I were back on the ship, with Yosaku and Johny, while the three others were in the Baratie helping out. Well, I think Long-nose didn't but was pressured into helping in any way he could. So that left us to make sure no one tried anything shifty to the boat.

I'd found myself some informative entertainment.

"Damnit, he wasn't full of shit," I sigh, shifting through a stack of wanted posters Johny had shown me, putting the world into perspective. Seriously, the smallest bounty I had seen so far was three million Beri. "Either this monetary system is inflated as hell, or the marines are just swimming in cash and these guys are dangerous as hell."

I went through a few more before a specific one stuck out to me. Mainly because the shadowed drawing of the face of this person included a saw-like nose.

"Arlong, huh?" I say to myself. This guy... wasn't human, that much was obvious. His teeth were too angled and sharp and that nose... Reminded me too much of a saw shark.

His bounty was also slightly higher than Krieg's, at twenty million. 'Captain of the Arlong Pirates, composed of entirely Fishmen'? So it's safe to assume that's what this species is called? So this world houses more than just boring old humans? Hmm... Interesting. My curiosity preens at this discovery. I'd love to learn more of these Fishmen! Oh the things I could learn...

... I feel like I just missed something important while in my thoughts? Weird. What could that have been?

"Hey, Abel, can you hand those over?"

"Sure," I say and hand the papers to Nami without looking and walk to the side of the ship in thought. That's when I see Johny and Yosaku flailing about in the water. "Huh? Damnit, didn't I tell you two to chill and not bumble about carelessly!"

"... I'm sorry."

"Wha-" I snapped forward suddenly, my body pushing over the railing and I knew nothing.

-o~O-O~o-

Nami felt bad, but she tried to smother the feeling, as her staff cracked Abell on the back of the head and sent his body limply to the sea below. She slightly winced as the hit literally made a cracking sound, and she wasn't sure if it was from the wood hitting his head.

She quickly shook her head and raised the anchor and freed the sails, as the ship began to distance itself from the Baratie. She looked back for a moment, and her breath stalled for a moment.

Abel was floating on the water motionless. Face down. Nami felt a rush of panic. Was he alive? She hadn't hit him hard enough to knock him out, right? Then she remembered that Abel wasn't, as he put it, 'from around here' and was a fair bit weaker than the people she was used to handling. Dread filled her to the core.

"No!" She snapped at herself and forced herself to not care. In any case, those two bounty hunters were swimming closer to the crossdresser. They'd help him. She turned away, cursing the situation forcing her to this.

"Damnit..."

-o~O-O~o-

My head ached something fierce, pain strumming at it like a jackhammer on speed. I cracked my eye open and saw a blurry shape really close to my face at the same time as my throat began to convulse. On instinct, I punched the shape.

Damnit, I was dizzy and my vision blurred further. And my head hurt, a lot. Fuck, am I having a concussion? That's bad unless I handle this right.

"Oh thank God you're okay, Abel-Banchou!" I hear Johny's slightly distorted voice yell in relief. A bit too loud.

"Why did you punch me?!" Yosaku exclaims in a more subdued, annoyed manner.

"Shut it!" I groan, holding my head to emphasize. "I'm having a concussion here, and would prefer you assholes not being so loud." Then I add, "And it's your fault for trying to make a move on me while I was out."

"I was trying to see if you were okay," Yosaku makes his excuses. I know he's being honest, but pain or not, I cannot resist.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. I'm pretty and you can't resist my charm" I mumble sarcastically, only to wince at a wave of pain. "Damn, Nami, what the fuck?"

"You remember what happened?" Johny asks, somewhat awed and curious.

"Up to the hit to the back of the skull," I answer clearly. "I have a pretty good memory, but I'll need the blanks filled. I'm guessing she did like a good thief and nicked the ship. Keep it short, understand?"

"Okay, Banchou!"

"Shh!" I hiss, cradling my head. I needed to keep a calm head and not stress myself out, or this got worse. I think this was only a mild concussion, but you could never be too sure.

"Right, sorry Banchou," Johny apologizes. "Yeah, Nami-aneki stole your ship and your captain ordered us to take you and Zoro-aniki to go after her."

"Figures. Okay," I affirm that I understood that. "Fuck, my stuff was onboard... Wait, Zoro? Why? What about the Krieg and his goon squad?"

"I'll take that," I hear a third person, Long-nose, I think. "Zoro got into a fight with a really strong swordsman and, well, isn't that good right now."

I blink to make the world clearer, avoiding sudden head movements. I glance a heap lying on the deck, bandages covering his torso red. Wait, I mean... focus! "... Well, shit, I missed something. That looks bad."

"I'm shocked he isn't dead... Anyway, Luffy told us to go on ahead after Nami and leave Krieg to him and Sanji," Long-nose.

"Are we still in the near vicinity?" I ask.

"... Huh?"

"Can we still see that Krieg bastard?" I clarify.

"Uh, yeah. We just left and aren't that far yet."

"Good. Gimme my gun," I growl and slowly crawl to the edge of the small ship we're on. I held out my hand expectantly until I feel a comforting weight on it.

"Here. But, uh, why?" Johny asks as I scan the area. We really haven't moved that far yet, but the ship Krieg came from is in absolute pieces, creating a field of debris on the ocean surface. I could spot him standing behind his men, in the rear lines of his broken "formation". Hiding behind his own men, huh?

"Feeling pissed," I say grimly and shift through my ammo bag. "And I don't think I'll want to be a burden. I do owe you guys, twice fold now." I pull what I was looking for out and examined it, focusing on it. Just what I was looking for.

"What do you mean?" Long-nose asked.

"My life has been saved twice now," I reply, looking at the bullet I'd fished out. Clearing my vision through a mental trick to pinpoint your focus. "First when you picked me off of that island... and now I almost drowned, I think. You have my thanks for both these things, all of you."

I slid the bullet in with a click and braced it on the side of the boat, aiming down the iron sights through my increasingly less hazy and disoriented vision.

"And I'm nothing if not a man who pays his debts, so call me a Lannister," I say, not expecting anyone here to get it.

"W-w-wait! You mean, you're going to shoot?!" Long-nose shrieks, making me wince.

"At Krieg, yes," I say, adjusting my sights as I run the calculations, taking account of the wind, distance, and the angle. Focus, take deep breaths, center your eye on the target... "And be quiet, my head is killing me."

"It's no use, Banchou!" Johny cries behind me, ignoring my request. "The man wears invincible armor! You'll never get him!"

"Ain't no such thing," I reply casually. "All things can be broken, even the sturdiest metal. Not that that is what I'm aiming at." I adjust slightly to the left and up. "This is a different type of bullet from what I usually use. I don't know actually what it does, but I have a faint idea. And if I'm right..."

"... Then... what?" Yosaku asks slowly. My brow furrows as my eyes grow distant, cold and dead. I see my target clearly now. I hear all three shuffle back when they _feel_ the change in my demeanor. These are not normal eyes.

These are a killer's eyes.

"Then," I say with deathly calm, "I will have made this at least a little easier for Luffy." Krieg is growing more and more distant, but I wait. Wait until the last second. Until we are out of the range where retaliation is possible. My weapon has superior range and accuracy. Use the tools in your arsenal to your advantage, to their full potential.

...

...

...!

I narrow my eyes and pull the trigger, the stock kicking back as the small explosion propels the bullet out of the barrel and sends it towards its target. Much to my shock Krieg somehow reacts with lightning reflexes, perhaps on instinct and lifts his armored arm in front of his head. Which I had aimed at.

So that is what the bullet impacts on. Bright light flashes before I'm hit with the loudest sound I've heard up until now, my vision blurring as a wave of pain rushes through my skull. A loud, not to mention powerful explosion occurs, the fire-blast covering the entirety of Krieg's form, and then some. I feel the shockwave slightly from where I kneeled at, a considerable distance from ground zero.

My eyes were wide as saucers, suddenly having regained absolute clarity, just to witness this moment. I'd speculated that the bullet might've been an explosive round but...

"Holy shit," I murmur, marveling as a miniature mushroom cloud climbed the air. That explosion was a lot more powerful than I'd thought possible. Suddenly I was really happy I hadn't tested these before. It made the discovery right now so much more worth it.

A quick glance at the other three showed their shock as well. Their jaws were down to the wooden floor and their eyes were bugging out of their sockets. Literally. It was really weird. Johny's eyes fucking lifted his sunglasses, what the fuck.

"... I'm going to call these Doomsday Rounds," I decide, turning back to see the damage. The smoke cleared.

And much to my immense shock and disbelief, Krieg was alive and standing. But to my credit, he sure as hell wasn't unscathed. His form was showing some obvious burns and his armor... holy hell, more than half of it from his left side- the side that caught most of the blast -was missing. Just... gone! Even that stupid cape of his had been almost completely incinerated.

I took great satisfaction at how absolutely shocked and pissed he looked at the same time. He was glaring murder at our direction, and I think he could see me. But to make sure I stood up, using the still smoking rifle as something to stabilize myself, and met his gaze levelly. I didn't waste my time long on him though.

Then I glanced and saw Luffy's eyes on me as well. Shit, these guys have a good set of eyes. He looked very severe, uncharacteristically so. But when our eyes met, he gave a confident grin that told me all I needed to you.

'Good work! I'll take it from here.'

With a weak chuckle, I sit down, my back against the side I'd just shot from, letting my rifle rest on my left shoulder. My other hand rested on the front of my face, partially covering it, keeping my head stable.

To tell you the truth, I didn't hate Krieg for a pragmatic use of strategy, no matter how unfair and dishonorable. Pragmatism is about doing what is necessary, in the most effective way possible. That didn't bother me. In fact, I was fully okay with his implementation of it, impressed even.

No, what made me hate him was because of the reason he was being pragmatic for. For self-gratification and a sense of power. To trample on anyone weaker or smarter than himself, to show that he was the smartest and the strongest. His pragmatism was purely selfish, to feed his own ego.

I smiled a bit.

I suppose that's what made us different.

-o~O-O~o-

Usopp was shaking. Johny and Yosaku felt a chill. Both stemming from a sight before them.

Abel, sitting on the edge of the deck leaning on his smoking rifle. Holding his head from what Johny assumed might've been from the head trauma from Nami knocking him out. They'd all been shocked and awed at what Abel had just done. He'd laid a significant blow on Don Krieg of all people! But now they just felt... unnerved.

Because of the dead, empty look in those eyes. Because of how hollow and sinister that smile looked. Usopp had never seen a face like that, but Johny and Yosaku had. That was a face of a specific type of person, a type they honestly didn't think Abel was in any way. Then they recalled hearing of how good the crossdresser was at acting, and it made sense.

That's the face of someone whose innocence had been broken.

It should've been a hint at how easily he was going on about his intent to shoot at Krieg. It was to harm or even to kill, and there was no hesitation. Only calculated steps to assure success in the task taken.

The expression faded almost as soon as it had taken form, but it still sticked with the three for a long time afterwards. Abel soon became 'normal' and did what he usually did, started bossing the three around and get back to the current mission. Johny, and Yosaku to an extent, held great respect for Abel, despite the short time knowing the odd man, and helped him bandage his head due to a possible skull fracture he apparently got from the orange-haired thief. But they couldn't forget that face, no matter how 'normal' their Banchou looked presently.

The face of a deceitful pragmatist.

-o~O-O~o-

 _ **Admit it! You thought the chapter title meant Krieg, right? Well, YOU'RE WRONG!**_

 _ **So, here's a tasty little sample of a darker side of Abel's character, as well as a taste for what is going to carry him through this mad ride he's on. And boy, will he need it!**_

 _ **Abel has discovered the high-explosive**_ **Doomsday Rounds** _ **!**_

 _ **Bullets discovered: 2/6.**_

 _ **Also, because it'll be off-screen: Abel's single act of defiance had some effects. With most of his armor and hidden weapons gone or unusable, Luffy's fight with Krieg went way more smoothly than in Canon. His attack also ruined Krieg's chance to use**_ **MH5** _ **, as his shield malfunctioned because of the blast caused by the explosion and failed to fire the poison. Gin doesn't get poisoned but takes Krieg and his crew with him after they are defeated.**_

 _ **\- Misdirecting You, C-Hablerie**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6: So You Are Fishmen? I Am Not A Hero!**_

"Damn it," I growl into my palm as I felt my headache. "I can't believe I have to trust you two to lead us to this place."

My annoyance was directed at the duo of dipshits with bad fashion sense. After departing I'd asked a pretty important question. 'Where are we going?' After a moment of awkward silence, it came to me that neither of them actually knew. The distance between Nami and us made tracing her path impossible.

So I had to pick up the slack and reason her destination. I didn't have a lot to work with so we seemed screwed, but I was very good at taking leaps in logic to find small connections.

Right before Nami went turncoat on us, she'd shown no signs of planning this, so I'd assume she did what she did in a hurry. That meant that within a fairly short time-frame there was an inciting incident to drive her to it. When I racked my brain only one thing came to mind. The name I had spoken out loud while looking at the wanted posters.

It was a longshot, but Nami maybe had a connection to this Arlong feller. And I had to go with that, as it was the all I had at this point. But then a miracle came upon me to help out.

The white piece of garbage finally came through on something! The Codex had a new entry on Cocomi Island, the base of the Arlong Pirates and, as stated by a suspiciously helpful footnote, Nami's home island.

So with a confirmed destination, I was forced to rely on Bertie and Ernie here to get us there. I feel the pain in my head, which reminds me not to get too worked up. Luckily my bandaged skull was largely hidden underneath my wig, so I didn't need to worry about looking ridiculous.

"Have no fear, Abel-Banchou! We know where this island is," Johny said, controlling the rudder and our course.

"If there's anything we bounty hunters know, it's the big names and their favored locales," Yosaku continued, tightening the ropes holding the sail steady.

"Basically, you need to know when to avoid something out of your league," I remark, to both their indignation. "I'm not throwing shade at you, that's just smart. Always good to avoid fights you can't win."

"Thank you, Abel-Banchou!" Both of them were suddenly prostrating themselves before where I was seated.

"Don't thank me for calling you smart, cowards!" I snap at them, only wincing slightly my own raised tone. "Just get us there. The faster I get my stuff back the better."

The two obediently went back to their tasks.

"You know, why aren't you helping?" The third nuisance spoke up.

"Because I have a concussion and I really shouldn't move around too much for a while," I explained with a 'you fucking idiot' written on my face. "Not to mention a boat this small is meant to operate with a very small number of people. I'd only get in the way, not knowing shit about sailing. The most I can do is make sure none of you slack off and keep an eye on Zoro."

Long-nose gave a short "Oh," and went back to scouting the horizon. And speaking of the unconscious swordsman. He was a mess.

I'd taken it upon myself to change his bandages to give myself something to do, and it was not pretty. The long gash on his chest almost gave the impression he'd almost been cleaved in half, and the stitching was very amateurish and made in a hurry. It would work for now, but I didn't expect those stitches to last that long.

By all rights, and by my limited medical knowledge, I was looking at a dead man. Yet here he was, breathing and sleeping his injuries away, replenishing lost blood. I was starting to get Zoro's confidence. His will to live was unreal.

I shook my head softly, turning my attention to figuring out the bigger picture. Why had Nami betrayed us so suddenly? For what purpose? I asked myself questions like this to try and make sense of the situation and figure out her motivations.

The facts were: She was a thief, she had a borderline complex about money, and she seemed to have a connection to Arlong, who resided on her home island. Not much to work with, but I was gifted in logical reasoning.

My first thought was that she needed money for something, stealing it from pirates and the like, perhaps using a similar trick she used on us. But what for? Perhaps... to pay off a debt, maybe? No, that wouldn't give an air of desperation that hasty betrayal invoked. To buy something? More likely. Being extorted? Also a possibility.

She must've needed the money to do something with Arlong. A business deal? Contracted servitude? Forced servitude? She did say she was sorry before trying to cave my skull in...

Too many possibilities, none of them painting a pretty picture.

I looked out at the horizon. I hope we find that island quickly. And I hope I can manage to stay out of this inevitable clusterfuck. I'm not holding my breath on that though.

...

Maybe it's time to practice _that_ technique again. I'll need anything to get by on an island that's likely lorded over by pirates. I have bullets, ridiculously explosive ones at that, but this needs something more subtle. And maybe my nature as an outsider in this world will help as well if my theory can hold water. Only one way to find out.

I cross my legs beneath my dress in a lotus pose and begin meditating. If I can recall how to do this, my chances of survival bump up considerably. I take a deep breath and concentrate, shutting out the world around me. Separating myself from it and its stimuli. Now...

 _..._

How does this exercise go again?

-o~O-O~o-

We're getting close, maybe. I was getting bored of just resting to not aggravate my concussion, though that was slowly fading away. Better safe than sorry though. Didn't help that I wasn't that aware of our current situation. In hindsight, maybe should've done this later.

That's the problem with this particular meditation exercise. You kind of drift away from the world and become blind, deaf and numb to it. Hard to maintain a connection while also distancing yourself. That just means I've got a lot of work to do until I can do this properly. In this state, that technique will not be perfect, but it will do in a pinch.

My meditation being rusty aside, I bring the visual and auditory world closer to my conscious mind, to see and listen while maintaining this state. It should be a good exercise for active use.

I slowly open my eyes and let sound return to my consciousness. The distance between me and the world creates a bridge instead of simply joining it. And so it is I am aware again. I see pier just out of reach. And that's the Merry... Huh? Thought finding it would be harder.

Uh... Wait... Where is everyone?

Why is Zoro tied to the cabin?! What did I miss?! What the fu-

 _Danger!_

I regain my mental composure and still my body and control my breathing to be as soft and silent as possible. Even the beating of my heart softens and slows down. I gather as much distance between me and the real world as I can without losing my senses. Just in time too.

The water splashes and two people jump out of the sea and onto the boat, causing it to rock slightly. The motion causes slight discomfort in my brain, but I shrug it off in favor of keeping control of myself.

The two seemed off. Obviously not human based on the fins on them and the unusual skin tones. Fishmen? We got the right place then. Those three clowns must've run for it and left Zoro, and yours truly, behind, Smart move, but it still makes me mad.

No, keep calm. Think of this as a practice round.

One of the Fishmen speaks, a blue-tinted one with the king of all underbites."What? Only one guy."

"Maybe he just drifted here from somewhere?" the other says. He's a brownish color and seems to have some kind of horn(?) on his head.

"Y-you could say so," Zoro mutters, sounding a tad more annoyed than anything, underlined with resentment and a silent vow for revenge. I totally get him.

Just stay calm and keep your focus, Abel. You are doing good so far.

"I see," Brownie says, looking quite smug. "I bet that injury is from the crew torturing you."

"Okay, let's bring this guy to Arlong-san before anything else," Underbite says.

Welp, tough luck Zoro! I hope the best for you, man, but I will not feel sorry for being a passive bystander!

Then Brownie's eyes move just a tad, enough to potentially view me from the corner of his eye. His eyes widen a bit and he grins. "Oh, there's another one after all! Let's bring the girl too."

Now both of their attentions are on me. Even Zoro is looking straight at me, an expression of shock on his face.

...

I give the two my sweetest smile. " _Please, go easy on the ropes. I'm injured and of a particularly frail constitution. Okay~?_ "

I mentally scream my second favorite one-word expletive.

-o~O-O~o-

"I'll ask you again," the deep voice asks, as he insinuates, once more. "What is your purpose here?"

"Like I said, I'm here looking for a woman, you half-fish bastard!" Zoro irritatedly snarls at the big Fishman before him, who I'd long since recognized as the one from the bounty poster. Why he insists on antagonizing a foe, while tied up and lacking means to defend himself, is beyond me.

I tug my own bindings slightly, simple rope around my arms and torso. Nothing complex. The only negative right now is that I'm here as well. Which sucks. Sitting is also getting uncomfortable. Urgh.

"Oh," Arlong raises his nose and sneers at the haughty swordsman. "This low-life human has guts. I'll let you slip by me this time, but you aren't allowed to say half-fish ever again."

Oh great, he took offense to that. Nice one, idiot!

"Us Fishmen are beings who can breathe underwater, much more evolved and superior than you lowly humans," Arlong continues with a lazy hand gesture straight out of the Guide for Villains. "Merely the power we hold is proof we are better than humans. You better understand that the most superior beings on earth are the Fishmen, not you humans. If humans go against us it'd be defying the laws of nature."

" _Actually, it'd be more like things following the natural order_."

Silence descends on the grounds of what I presume is Arlong's home base, Arlong Park. And all eyes are converged on a single point. And one, in particular, that has an annoyed look in them.

I'm that point. Way to stay quiet and out of this, dumbass! Why did you correct him?! You asshole!

"And what might you mean by that, girl?" Arlong growls. Shit, I'd forgotten to not do the voice.

"Man, actually," I say in my natural voice, and briefly turn my head to address the two shocked gasps from the crowd of Fishmen. "Sorry for playing you two there. Didn't mean anything mean spirited by that flirting. Just panicked, is all."

I then adamantly ignored them and gave the big Fishman sitting on his lounge chair my utmost attention.

"As for what I meant, is that that theory of yours has a flaw in it I can't quite allow to pass by unmentioned."

"Oh?" Arlong says, keeping a calm facâde that I'm not buying for a second. "And what flaw might that be?"

"The part where you said that something weaker going up against something stronger is against the laws of nature," I state, keeping my cool. "It's not. It's actually perfectly natural for weaker beings to attempt to defeat their superiors.

"For you see, it is a common survival tactic to avoid things more powerful than you. That's where you are correct, as I'm sure everyone likes living," I explain. "However, that is but one of the reactions to greater beings. It is also natural to do battle with this stronger entity, to attempt to defeat not only your foe but your own limits. It is simply climbing the natural ladder we call evolution. "

I give a faint grin that is probably as hollow and jaded as it feels. "There's a reason this particular subject is called a Fight or Flight reflex, after all. Both paths are equally as important for evolution. And you must know the saying, no risk taken is nothing gained."

He stares straight into my soul, so I return the favor, keeping my face as neutral as possible. This tense staring match continues for a few even tenser second. If I was a lesser man, I'd be sweating bullets. But eventually...

"... Sha ha," Arlong chuckles softly, before erupting into full on laughter. "Shahahahaha!" This continues for a bit, much to the apparent shock of his crew. Probably expected him to just kill me then and there. Granted, so did I.

And then he stops, keeping a faint, feral grin. "I've got to say, your words sound fairly convincing, for a human. A good laugh, if nothing else."

"Thank you so much for your critique," I deadpan. "I'll be sure to shove them up someone's ass later."

My snark apparently amuses him, as he laughs a bit more. "Shahahaha! A joker and a talker. A rarity amongst you humans."

"Backhanded, but I'll take it," I mutter. Why am I not dead yet? Why am I not shutting up?!

"Anyway, now that I remember," Arlong says, shifting gears to serious. "Just what is your purpose here, okama-human?"

"Again with that word," I mumble under my breath, feeling strangely insulted for no apparent reason. "Well, I'm here kind of for the same reason as this idiot meathead." I gesture at Zoro with my head. He growls, taking exception to that. "Except for different reasons."

"And what reason might that be?" Arlong asks, appearing patient. I think he just tolerates me out of a whim. So I'm honest with him.

"To slap a bitch," I state in utter seriousness.

"I'd be careful of what you say around here," A very familiar voice speaks up, walking out of the big building that takes up most of Arlong Park. "I don't think you realize the situation you're in."

"Speak and you shall receive," I faux-whisper to the skies above before looking at the orange-haired thief with a neutral expression.

Beside me, Zoro was shocked to see her here. I pity the less informed.

"Why so serious, Nami?" Arlong speaks to the girl. "Did this okama do something to you, our greatest cartographer? Your maps are the most accurate we can get."

The opposite, actually. So she's working for them? Called it! But for what reason? Anyway, I just keep staring at her.

"Obviously, because our brains work differently," Nami remarks. Nice backhandedness there. Basically calling the big, scary pirate man stupid.

"Hey, Nami! What does he mean by 'our greatest cartographer'?" Zoro speaks up, addressing the thief. "Why are you so close to this guy?"

"Oh? You know each other?" Arlong asks Nami.

"Don't be ridiculous!" She denies the thought, walking closer to Zoro. "He's just another victim. I gained a lot of loot from them" She stops and kneels in front of him. "You don't even realize you've been deceived. And you still chase after me. You're just plain stupid."

"So this is your true nature?" Zoro asks, serious as a stormcloud. "And to think you hated pirates..."

"Surprised?" No, not really. I figured something was off way back, just had nothing to base it on. "Everything was an act. You'll understand better after seeing this..." Nami then leaned to the side, showing Zoro her left shoulder where a symbol was proudly inked upon. A symbol with a saw-like nose.

Based on the look on Zoro's face, he finally gets what is really going on.

"I am part of this invincible crew," Nami proclaims, standing up, gesturing at the Fishmen surrounding us. "An officer of Arlong's crew!"

...

Wow. That is hamming the evil up so much, it's almost respectable.

Still not fully buying it.

"Do you see now? From the beginning, I've been only using you." Nami continues being all 'villain'. "You were good at fighting though. Really useful muscle."

"Shahahaa!" Arlong laughed. "You were blindly fooled, weren't you? She'd even sell out her own family for money. This woman is a cold-blooded witch. You shouldn't have underestimated her."

There! A reaction springs from Nami, one of absolute outrage. It is brief and she buries it adeptly, but that comment really seems to hurt.

"I see how it is..." Zoro says, oddly confident. "I never trusted you from the beginning." Honestly, me neither. "Wouldn't be surprised if she was a murderer even."

"So you get it now?" Nami says. "Then just get lost already! You're an eyesore."

Zoro just grins in response and kicks himself backward... right into the water behind him. Zoro sinks below and I can only assume that with those ropes binding him, he's not getting up.

"... Moron" is all I have to say on the matter.

"Not going to help your friend, okama?" Arlong asks, addressing the question to me.

"Okay, making a lot of assumptions there, pal," I say coolly. "If the man wants to drown himself, that's none of my business." My coldness to a "friend" in need makes him smirk. Amuses him. I then let my upper body relax and I let all the breath out of my lungs. The rope tied around me just slacks and falls off of me, losing all the purposeful resistance I was putting on it. I then start to untie my feet.

"Hmm?" Arlong hums, inspecting me as I get the ropes off my feet in an instant and stand up.

"Yeah, your goons really don't know how to tie a person properly," I comment, doing stretches for the hell of it. "Should give them lessons in proper rope tightness so that won't happen."

I'm distracted by a sound of something clattering on the stone tiling and manage to catch a glimpse of Nami without her shoes diving into the water.

"... Bi-polar bitch," I mutter, turning to look at the body of water with my arms crossed. Soon enough Nami surfaces near the edge, Zoro in tow. There were words spoken, but I didn't quite catch them. One thing was certain though.

Nami was definitely acting tough for a crowd just now.

Then she steps on Zoro's back, angered by something. "Shut your face! If you get involved with me anymore, you'll die!"

"Heh," Zoro laughs weakly. "I wonder about that."

"Nice bandage you've got there."

"Couldn't afford new clothes. This is a substitute."

I swear, I've heard better banter in a novella that is obscure for a reason. Anyway, Nami punches Zoro in his wound, which can't be pleasant considering how bad it is. Zoro collapses on his knees and Nami walks away.

"Hey, Nami. What are you planning for him?" Arlong questions the thief.

"Lock him up. I'll take care of it," She commands, calmly yet obviously annoyed and upset. She stops close to me, but not within grabbing distance. Clever girl. "When'd you escape."

I stare at her silently, face like an undisturbed pool of water.

"Tch," She scoffs at me and attempts to walk way.

"Bend over."

She stops in place, snapping her attention to me. "Huh?"

"Bend over," I repeat. "So I can shove my boot up your ass." I then give a lopsided grin that could be interpreted in many suggestive ways. "Or a spanking perhaps, since your mother apparently forgot to do that."

She bares her teeth angrily at me. Like a frightened animal trying to act tough. Appropriate. "Why are you even here?"

"Why am I-" I mumble, a look of outrage implanting itself on my features as I step forward quickly, ending up nose to nose with Nami. "You gave me a concussion and stole my stuff!"

"No I didn't!" She yelled at me. "I never even got a glimpse at your junk, and not for the lack of trying!"

"Naughty~," I sing-song at the innuendo before getting back to the point. "And yes you did! It was on the damn ship you stole!"

"How the hell is you leaving your garbage lying around my fault?!" Nami screams.

I grab hold of both her cheeks and pull. They are oddly elastic. "Don't call my only worldly possessions garbage! I ought to teach you manners, young lady!" Her eyes briefly shine with something at my semi-parental way of speaking, but it's quickly covered by further outrage.

Her fist moves to punch me in the face, to which I respond by letting go and lifting the bangs of my wig. Her fist stops, eyes drawn to the bandage on my skull. My eyes narrow.

"... I'm still recovering from the skull slamming you gave me," I say to her calmly, low enough so no one else can hear. "A strike from you might actually make it bad enough to become severe and dangerous for my life. You don't even know me that well, yet you hesitate, knowing the consequences of your actions." I crack a slight grin. "It seems your mother raised you well after all."

Her face shifts, warring between frustrated anger at my sudden kindness and... something else. Something deeper and softer. Fond, yet sad. I step back and let her have space. That and get out of the range of that fist. I'd shocked her into stopping on a hunch. I'm not risking it a second time. But now I knew more of Nami's real self.

"Arlong-san!" A Fishman ran in through what I assume is the front gate. Oh, it's Underbite! Neat. "A long-nosed human was with them, but I failed to catch him."

Oh, so Long-nose is still around? Good. With his talents, it'd be simple for a coward like him to lie low and not do risky stupid bullshit. Come one, Long-nose, prove you are worth _something_!

"I think he fled into Cocoyasi Village, but..." Underbite said.

"I see," Arlong replied with a blazê attitude. "Cocoyasi Village? Good timing. I've got some errands to run there. Shall I pay them a visit?"

I noticed a slight tremble in Nami's clenched fist. Subtle, but she was angry. And I don't think it was because of me.

"Actually," I butt in, taking a few steps in Arlong's direction. "If I could ask something of you."

Arlong eyes me warily. "And what might that be, human?"

"You see, the only reason I'm here is because your cartographer accidentally stole literally everything I own," I explain calmly, seeing no reason to lie. "Seeing as none of it is money or has much if any monetary value, I don't see it being worth your time. So if I simply could ask to have my possessions returned to me, I would be well off on my way, never to bother you again. I'd demand the thief themselves return them, but seeing as a captain's order is the law..."

I let the last part hand in there. Arlong was silent, maybe considering my words.

"And what if I don't?" He asks evenly.

I give him a shrug. "Then there really isn't much I can do about it. Taking it by force is tantamount to suicide and a most idiotic move to make in present company. Logically speaking, asking politely is my only option. I would bow to you, if it pleases you, as long as I get my belongings. And then, as I now swear on my name, I'll be gone and you never see me again," I tell him. "Though, whichever it is, I will have to ask for my gun and ammo back. I kind of need that to not die out there."

I am so bluffing all this confidence! I'm surprised I'm not dead yet! Why am I not super dead yet?!

"..." Arlong is quiet. I don't like that. "Sheha... Shehahaha!" Oh, now he's laughing. That's... good? I like that even less. He keeps laughing for a few second before stopping. "Tell me, what is your name, human?"

"... Abel," I say, maintaining a cool and serious face. "Cain Abel, your typical crossdressing nobody."

"Well then, maybe you could persuade me to return your possessions," Arlong says with a feral grin. "A token of good faith, if you will. I'm sure you understand that I can't just trust you to keep your word, now can I?"

"No, I suppose not." I let out a sigh. "So, what might this so-called token be? I'm all ears."

His rows of shark teeth are really starting to unnerve me, with how he's presenting them. His smile has a nefarious feel to it. Truly a predator, if I ever saw one. I need to watch myself, or those jaws might be the last thing I see.

"How about you prove you mean what you say by, let's say, killing that 'friend' of yours?" Arlong proposed with a smile that was borderline evil. So that's his game.

"Hey!" Nami interjects angrily. I ignore her and walk past her. "I told you I'd handle it! And do you honestly think that that freak would do something like-"

*BANG!*

Once again, all noise stilled. Except for the audible scream of a green-haired idiot. I stared down one of my trusty derringers, Lucifer, which the Fishmen had failed to locate and take off of me. And the bleeding hole in Zoro's posterior. I coolly spun it in my hand once and blew the smoke coming out of it.

"Sorry, but I can't kill this meatheaded imbecile," I stated coldly. "I owe a life debt to him and his crew, so it would be improper. Now shooting him in the ass, however, just seems plain fun."

I gauge the reactions from around me. The fishmen are shocked that I still had a weapon, Nami was borderline catatonic in shock that was clearly evident on her face. And Arlong. He was smiling with those jagged teeth of his. Jackpot!

Zoro on the other hand...

"Y-you..." He snarled weakly, his glare making up for it in intensity. He struggled to not let the pain show. "You bastard..."

"Yes, I suppose so," I reply emotionlessly. "Do keep in mind, I only sailed on your ship out of convenience. As I stated before, I hold no loyalty to any of you. This is not a personal attack, just a convenient route that leads me to my goal. Consider your service to me complete, and try not to drown yourself again." I turn and walk away. "Watching men off themselves is no fun at all."

The underlying message of _'It's nothing personal'_ must've ringed pretty hollow to him. Oh well, I'm sure a meathead like him can get over it. As I passed Nami I couldn't miss the conflict in her eyes. Like she didn't know what to think of me. Understandable. Still, I ignore her and walked in front of Arlong, derringer still in my hand.

"Does that suffice? Because while I do want my things, I will not kill someone I owe a debt to just to obtain it." I state to him in no uncertain terms. He either gives me my things or not.

"It's not often I find humans as cold and driven as you. You remind me of Nami, in a way. That willingness to do just about anything to achieve what you set out to do," Arlong muses humorously. "In all honestly, I admire your guts and resolve." He craned his neck to the side. "What are your possessions?"

"All of them are inside a large brown sack, alongside what your men confiscated from me when bringing me here;" I speak clearly, meeting his gaze levelly.

He nudges his head to someone behind me. "Get the man his possessions."

... Holy shit, I did it! I mask how happy hearing those words makes me.

"A-Arlong-san?" One of the fishmen behind me stutters. "Are you sure?"

"Eh, I'm in a good mood today," Arlong says. "Now get to it!" A couple of fishmen rush inside the building to retrieve my thing, I assume. "And drag the swordsman somewhere and lock him up." A few got to that as well. Me, I had other worries.

Sorry, Zoro. But right now getting my stuff back and getting to walk out of here alive is worth shooting you in the ass.

I turn to look for the one who'd taken possession of my gun and harness. Turns out it was that one Fishman who found me, Brownie. I walk to him and held out my hands. He hesitates a bit, but seeing as it is an order from his captain, he places the items in my hands.

"Thank you kindly," I say earnestly with a mild bow, set the rifle down by my feet and begin the quick process of putting the harness on. I feel weird without it. "Sorry."

"... Huh?" Brownie asks me dumbly, confused at the abrupt apology.

"I apologize for how I acted while captured." I can already tell he's awkward about it. I give a wry smile. "And for making your rope work seem inadequate. You need to work on the tightness, so the captive can't put fake pressure on the ropes that make them lax when they relax."

"Uhh... Thanks?" Brownie the Fishman says uncertainly. As I adjust my harness and make sure both the ammo bag and the damn book holster are present and secure, an idea strikes me. I then fish about in my ammo bag, and pull out the 15.000 I won from Nami. Despite not knowing how valuable the amount was, I offer them to the Fishman. "... Huh?"

Oh man, he's so confused. "Take it, as repayment for making a fool out of you. Share it with your pals, or something." Better endear myself to some of these Fishmen, just in case.

With a baffled expression, I pretty much shove the slips of paper into his hands. I then pick up my rifle and place it on my back, where it belongs. Finally, I feel complete again. I might be growing a slight dependency. I then turn towards the entrance to the main building, waiting for the rest.

Within the minute two fishmen return, hauling the large sack I was familiar with. Only, something was off about what I was seeing. Both of them were carrying the bag and seemed to be struggling with it. The large sack was dropped on the ground as soon as they got it out in the open.

"Oi, watch it! Some of that is fragile." I snap at the two winded Fishmen. How odd. It's not that heavy.

"W-what the hell is in there?" One of them asks between breaths. The other one I realize is Underbite. Neat!

"It's not that heavy, is it?" I ask skeptically, walking over and easily lifting the sack so that I carry it over my shoulders. I bounce it softly a couple of times. "... Are you two fucking with me right now?" I ask with a suspicious frown. The sack isn't any heavier than when I first got it, so why are these strong-looking guys having any trouble with it?

Fucking questions with no answers! I hate those so much!

"There, you have your possessions," Arlong cuts in before I can get an answer out of the two. "Now begone, human."

"Yeah, yeah," I wave my hand in a dismissing gesture. "I'm a man of my word. I suppose I'll look for a village and steal a boat, or something."

Honestly, I had no plan, I just want to leave.

I give Arlong a two-finger salute. "Been a pleasure dealing with you folks. Now excuse me while I make like a bird and fuck off!" I head for the gate as I hear Arlong laugh in that peculiar way he does at my comment. I don't walk too fast and keep a mellow pace until I've already passed the open iron gate. The further the distance gets between me and Arlong Park, the quicker I make my pace.

Finally, I feel like I'm a good distance away and I let out a crushing sigh.

"Holy crap," I gasp, holding my chest. "That got way too tense!" Finally allowed to unwind, all the accumulated stress hits me like a bullet train. Damnit all, that was not fun! I totally get why Johny and Yosaku were scared of Arlong. His presence was suffocating. But I held firm and kept my cool, and somehow got out of that death trap alive _and_ with my things.

A flawless victory!

Is what I'd like to say, sadly. Having to leave Zoro behind and shooting him had been a desperate move on my part, and I held no illusions that if he got out of there he'd be more than cross with me. I don't think Luffy or anyone really will be happy with me after that stunt. But I needed Arlong to trust me enough to let me leave, and it worked!

I did what I had to do. Simple as that. Besides, out of all the places, the ass is the safest place to shoot someone. He'll be fine... ish.

...

Damnit, being a massive asshole is always the hardest part to play. It's not a part I take lightly, nor do I like it. It kind of scares me though, how plain good I'm at it. I don't think I like what that says about me, personally.

My face turns serious. No time for this now. I talked a lot back there, but I'm definitely not leaving yet. Damn my curiosity, but this time I agree to go with it. I need to figure out the deal with Nami and Arlong. There are way too many contradictions in her words and actions. Something deeper is going on here, and I want to know what.

That decided, I find the biggest bush I can find, hide behind it and wait. Arlong said he had business at a village, as I recall. He will undoubtedly walk through this road. So I'll just wait and tail them. But first I need to get in the right frame of mind. It failed on the boat, but not this time. That is not an option.

The distance between me and the world grows. I maintain a visual bridge to make sure I can see, cutting of all other connections. The sounds of the world disappeared. The smells become fainter until they too vanish, followed by touch and taste. Only the sight remains. My breathing becomes slow and level; heart beating softer and quiet. A wordless phrase exits my silent lips.

" _ **Faint**_ "

This technique is meant to mask the physical presence and diminish it, becoming undetectable to others. A sort of 'Wallflower'-technique, though I dislike that name, so I call it Faint. While hardly making me invisible, it makes me harder to notice and pay attention to. No one would be aware of my presence unless they were alerted to it in some way, or if they already knew I was there. In theory. Back at the boat, this trick had failed, because my mind wasn't clear or focused enough due to the pain caused by the concussion.

But after the tense situation at Arlong Park... Now my mind is clearer and sharper than it ever has been. The pain was a mere memory, shut out and isolated completely. It should work- no, it _will_ work now. I can't leave the sack with my stuff behind, so that might affect it somewhat. But I should be able to extend Faint to it as well, to some extent. In theory.

I'm making a lot of assumptions today. That's a bad habit, but it's all I've got right now. And doubt is far more dangerous than something as petty as making educated assumptions.

Now all I had to do was wait. And I didn't need to wait long. Arlong, leading a small entourage of his crew, walking at a leisurely pace down the road. I let them go a fair bit ahead before I dare to move. Cover isn't plentiful in the area, so I move carefully, my focus remaining solely on tracking the Fishmen and moving my feet. Thankfully, they remain oblivious to my presence, and I manage to tail them until they hit the village, Cocoyasi I think. A homely little township. I try to find a good vantage point to take cover in, while also opening my mind to accept sound.

This tailing would be pretty useless unless I could eavesdrop. More connections to reality make Faint less reliable, but as long as I stay hidden and out of direct line-of-sight, I should be fine.

Just as I find a good spot, a fair distance away, covering behind a wall of a building. I focus on my hearing to pick up what is being spoken. Because a scene is unfolding before me. Arlong talking to a man wearing brown, the most striking features being a pinwheel on his hat and the numerous stitched up scars all over his limbs and face.

That man has experienced some pain in the past and lots of it.

Apparently, the man, Genzo I think I heard him be called, was being targeted for owning a weapon in Arlong's territory. And he seemed to collect "tributes" as well and had already destroyed one other village for not paying up. How very fascist of him. Arlong seemed to hold a tight grip on this community, everyone had hidden into their homes and some were glaring behind those windows. Not a popular guy, Arlong. Racist also, which wasn't cool.

Still, this Genzo fellow was soon being lifted by the throat for his crime of being a bad influence with his weapon owning. It appeared Arlong was about to make an example of this brave, stupid man. It seemed this was not okay with the townspeople, who were leaving the safety of their homes in a futile show that they weren't having this petty crap.

And neither was I.

Callousness and being a dick has its place in survival, but right now I'm not that fond of Arlong for putting me through all this bullshit. So as this had been going on, I had drawn my rifle, loaded a normal bullet and had taken my sweet time aiming to avoid hitting someone else by accident. From my vantage point, I had a great view of exactly where I wanted to fire, and maybe, divert attention elsewhere. I watched as Genzo was thrown callously into the dirt with excessive force, and was prepared to do so again, this time hard enough to kill. My finger was all ready to pull the trigger and release a bullet into the large Fishman's gut.

Then something else hit arlong in the face. Something that exploded in his face. Not even close to my Doomsday Rounds. I highly doubt that'd kill him, by how he seemed to tank the blast without as much as flinching. But I try to track that shot. Based on the angle it came from and the yell that preceded it...

... Wait, is that...

I can't believe it. Standing on top of one of the taller building in the village stand the damned Long-nose, posing defiantly with his arms crossed and holding a... slingshot? That explosive thing was fired from a slingshot?!

Long-nose began screaming boastful introductions and trying to act braver than he obviously was. I could hear his knees rattling from my vantage point. Despite seeing through it, I will admit, that interference despite his obvious cowardice made me respect the guy a bit. Just a tiny amount.

Unfortunately, he was immediately recognized as the guy one of Arlong's underling let get away, which broke what little of his facâde he had left. And Arlong was pissed off at being defied, clearly not happy with the idea of being assaulted by a wimpy human like Long-nose. For a terrifying pirate, he does seem to whine a whole lot.

Then he starts to _lift the fucking building_ Long-nose is standing on and uprooting it by its foundations! Holy shit, these Fishmen are terrifyingly strong! I'm so lucky I got out of Arlong park alive!

But at that moment I spotted a chance to fuck with this man something fierce, while also creating a diversion. So I quickly ran the math, took aim, and fired. The loud bang echoed, partially covered by the sound of Arlong uprooting a damn building, as the bullet spat by Azazel hit its mark!

More specifically, the Achilles tendon in the foot Arlong was using to carry the weight of that building. And with that tendon fucked with, he stumbled harshly. I cherished his shocked expression as the building he was supporting became too much for his supporting leg to carry and it crashed on top of him.

His crew was in just as much shock, as was every single one of the villagers. None of them could process what had just happened. In this chaos I took my opportunity to grab my shit start running the fuck away from here, keeping my presence as low as possible while in a mad dash and staying as out of sight as much as I possibly could. If I'd dare, I'd be howling with mocking, evil laughter.

It feels so good to be an unrepentant cheat!

-o~O-O~o-

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"... *cough cough*"

Well, this isn't awkward at all. Or potentially unsafe for my continued well-being.

Right, context is needed.

After getting the fuck out of Cocoyasi Village so that I could avoid death by Arlong, I'd headed into a random direction in an effort to not be predictable in my movements. That and I didn't know the lay of the land, so... Yeah. So I was walking around for a while in a forest and keeping low profile. I'd allowed myself to relax and just enjoy a pleasant stroll through the woods. It was... nice.

Naturally, as seemed to be mandatory at this point, my peace just can't be allowed to last.

Which kind of left me in _this_ particular situation of being glared at rather murderously. Naturally, I only had one logical way to break this absolutely crushing silence.

"So..." I drawl out, sounding about as awkward I felt. "... How's your ass?"

Zoro didn't appreciate that his hands darting to his swords.

"Whoa, whoawhoawhoaWHOA!" I drop the sack and place my arms in front of me in a placative and protective manner, shaking them for emphasis. "Wait! let's not be rash here. You are, quite understandably, upset so how about we just talk it out like adults- GURH!"

Instead of a sword to the gut, I got a punch to the face. Thankfully my neck didn't snap from the force, though my jaw almost dislocated by how it felt. I'd have flown back if my sack of stuff didn't catch me, so I slumped against it instead of going for a short flight. And despite this, I don't think he'd even hit me as hard as he could've. So... good sign?

"... Okay. I deserved that," I wheeze out from my sitting position, rubbing my jaw. "Thanks for holding back. I think my concussion wouldn't have been okay with getting brained again. That said, ooooowwwww." I grabbed my head. The pulsing pain within the confines of my skull was back. _Awesome!_

"You're welcome," Zoro snarled. Yup, he was mad.

"Anything else you want to get off your chest? Maybe call me names? Break one of my fingers? Confess your true feelings?" I ask, the last of the three more teasing than serious. When no response came, it was somehow worse than any of those. I let out a sigh. "Nice sucker punch, by the way. So honorable."

"Not that you'd know much about it," Zoro growls. I take offense to this remark, though not for the reason some might expect.

"Well excuse me for prioritizing staying alive to having the 'moral high ground'! If it meant I'd stay alive and not be killed by a smorgasbord of _very_ strong Fishmen, I'd let them spit on me, sell my hypothetical annoying sibling I hate, and maybe, if things got rough enough, _literally fuck me_!" I snap back at him with intensity he clearly wasn't expecting "Note, one of those is actually a lie. Hint: it's not the last one."

He kept staring at me, that anger gone after that... moment. But then both our attentions were diverted from out little powwow to something... odd. It seemed both our instincts and skills of observation were pretty sharp, as our reactions were more or less synched.

Something was causing the ground to rumble and made a lot of noise. Bot Zoro and I noticed and exchanged glances, as the sound came closer really, really fast.. Then Zoro was hit by a boat sliding across the ground, getting dragged with it further inland until I heard a crash not far from where I sat.

What. The. Fuck.

Naturally, I got off my ass, grabbed my stuff and ran after the easily trackable trail left in the earth. Curiosity calls! And so I soon came across what must've been the remains of a late, inexplicably earthbound sea vessel. And wouldn't you know, I had some culprits to blame for this ridiculous scene!

Luffy and Yosaku(why was he with them?) were amongst the wreck. I also spotted Sanji. Huh, must've given into Luffy's pestering. It does not fill me with confidence for my own path of resistance. He seemed so smart too. For an easily exploitable womanizing idiot, sure, but he had his moments.

And, somehow, Zoro wasn't dead from being hit by a speeding land-boat! In fact, he seemed fine. HOW?!

"Why am I a part of this?" I ask the heavens, never expecting an answer. My, the sky is pretty today. Then I spotted someone I'd not seen for a while and had quite a lot to say too.

With a calm pace, unstrapping my rifle and holding it in my right hand, I made my way to the man who was about to meet half of my shared aggravation for his sins.

" **Johny...** " I drawl out, in a low, dangerous tone. He flinches visibly and as he starts to turn shakily, I do what I'd wanted to do since earlier today. I swung with both hands and smacked Azazel's stock right to his right temple, making him fall with a loud yelp. Instead of being a good sport and leaving it at that, I then start stomping on his downed body.

"HOW DARE YOU TWO ABANDON ME JUST SO YOU COULD RUN AWAY? Have you any idea what I've had to go through to not get killed today? Because I don't think you do!" I scream at the man shielding himself from my onslaught of righteous vengeance.

"Hey, Abel!"

"Yo," I off-handedly greet Luffy with a lackluster wave, not stopping what I was doing. What does stop me is a continuous high-pitched sound that is really annoying. So I leave Johny alone for now and turn to the culprit of this mosquito level annoyance.

I evenly meet the gaze of Sanji, mouth, and eyes somewhat more open than usual in some form of shocked denial. Then I remember that, oh yeah, I wasn't in character right now.

Well, better get this out of the way and nip this in the bud.

" _Sanji, dear~_ ," I start out in my female voice. I've got his attention.

"A-Able-chan?" He asks, eyes filled with desperate hope that he was just heading things. Which I then dash mercilessly with one flirtatious wink and an extra deep man voice, placing extra emphasis one the final part.

" **I have a** _ **dick**_ **.** "

The results are immediate and glorious. Sanji lets out an ear piercing scream and sinks on all fours, a literal aura of gloom hovering around his form as he pounds on the dirt with his fist. Dismissing this fascinating phenomenon, I do the natural reaction to this scene I just caused.

"Kehehehe! Kehehehehee," I let out a slow, mocking laugh at his expense.

I am going to hell, but damnit if the ride, there isn't fun!

"Sanji, _darling_ ~, I must make it clear that I just used you for the free food," I say with utmost honesty and a crooked smile, posing in a 'what do you do?'-manner, if that means anything. "Sorry, not sorry. I hope the kisses were a fitting compensation for this little lie of mine."

The words seemed to pierce his body, heart, and soul like spears and... Oh my god, was he coughing up blood? Holy crap, what a visceral reaction to surprise gay.

I love it!

"Now, all that is missing is Long-nose and the crew is back together," I remark, ignoring Sanji's anguished pain. "I've still got some beatings reserved for that coward. Wonder if Arlong's goons caught him?"

"Actually... About that, Abel-Banchou," Johny says, kneeling on the ground, seeming very upset with something. "Usopp-aniki... was caught by Arlong's men and then... then..." He seemed to hesitate before crying out dramatically, "Nami killed him and threw his corpse into the sea!"

I stared at him plainly before taking in the reactions of others. Seem they heard this before and were varying levels of affected. I, however...

"Yeah, that's not true," I stated casually.

"Wha- but Banchou! I saw it happen with my own two eyes! She stabbed Usopp-aniki!" Johny persists on his claim.

"Yeah, knowing what I know, some educated guesswork and what I've gathered of Nami's character, that seems unlikely. She had an equal chance of killing off Zoro earlier today for being a dumbass, but saved his ass instead," I rebuke him. "Also, there is a thing called deception. I showcased it just now and do it all the time." I point at the still nigh-catatonic Sanji with my thumb. To prove my point.

"I knew it! There's no way Usopp died!" Luffy exclaimed. "She's our friend!"

"Just who is your friend, Luffy?"

Everyone turns to see the contested thief standing a few paces away. What a coincidence! I narrowed my eyes, keeping a close eye on any subtle signs.

"Nami?" Luffy asks, turning to face the thief.

"Why did you come here?" Nami asks.

"What are you talking about?" Luffy asked cluelessly. "You're my companion. I came to get you." Logic truly fitting for an innocent child, that there.

"How annoying," Nami scoffs with a controlled expression that didn't give much way. "Friends? Don't make me laugh. You're more like a pathetic group of cooperators, don't you think?"

Johny stood up and tried to be threatening. "Why you... I saw it with my own eyes! How you-" Then I bonked him on the head with my rifle again to shut him up.

"By the Ancestors, nobody is dead!" I growl out at him.

"Oh? You," Name acknowledged in my presence.

"Me," I respond, cool as a cucumber.

"Why are _you_ still here?" She asks. My eye twitches slightly as I stare back at her.

"I don't have a boat, thanks to someone who shall not be specifically mentioned, Nami," I tell her, then cock my head to the side just to be theatric. "Also, I didn't feel like it. Now, how about you stop this farce, young lady?"

She bares her teeth slightly in response. "Don't speak like you understand anything, you damn okama!"

"What is that word..." I murmur quietly, honestly curious now. I shake my head, both to clear my head and emphasize my denial of her claim. "Well, although you may be right, I think I'm a pretty smart guy and have seen quite a lot of interesting things today," I say, rubbing my chin in an act of contemplation. "Let's just say that I've had a lot of data to analyze, and I think I could deduce what is going on here, with Arlong, you... and others."

That got a reaction. It was subtle but her mask cracked for a second. Her lips tightening shut and her eyes narrowing ever so slightly. The last part was meant solely to confirm a theory I had been working on, and that more or less confirmed it.

"Oh," Nami said, collecting herself. "Do tell me what you _think_ is happening? I'm all ears."

I shoot her a beaming, sweet, radiant smile. "Nope~."

"Then stop wasting my time!" She shouts at me. I just shrug with the smile still in place. She chooses to ignore me and go back to addressing the rest of the motley. "I'm not your friend or your comrade. I never was, and I never will be. Right now Arlong wants to kill Roronoa Zoro and his posse because he did something he shouldn't have."

Makes sense to me, seeing as the ways he could escape would include fighting his way out. Anyway, Nami continued.

"You may have monster-like powers, but Arlong is on a whole another level. You'll never beat a real monster, no matter how strong you are. Hang around here too long and you'll all be killed."

Zoro and I, being somewhat saner than the rest, were both equally aware of that what she said was true, in a sense. We even exchanged glances, having our own wordless conversation, where we affirmed our situation and decided to forget about the little grudge between us for now.

Sanji, on the other hand...

"Oooh, her cool look is so charming!" The damn cook crooned, blushing at the traitorous thief. Then his eyes turned into hearts(still creepy) and started flailing around like a lovestruck baboon "Hey, Nami-san! It's me, do you remember, do you? Let's go on a cruise together."

"Well someone recovered quickly," I murmur to myself. Zoro caught it and we shared another look, this one of the sly and amusing variety.

"Stay out of this, Love Cook! We don't need any more stupid distractions," Zoro snapped at Sanji.

"What'd you say!?" Sanji responded with hostility. "My love is always a hurricane." I deemed it necessary for me to step in, with my sweetest face and the most melodic voice.

" _Sanji, dear! No fighting, please~!_ " I plead cutely. Abel uses Charm. It's super effective!

"Yes, my Dark Angel, Abel- **SwHraN**!" He responded on _reflex_ and cried out the last part of it as if it was physically causing him pain. Seriously, he sounded like an ancient, broken foghorn.

Naturally, ignoring the otherwise tense atmosphere, Zoro and I bust a gut laughing at his expense, as he succumbed to his depressed anguish all over again at being reminded of my true nature. Poor Sanji. I don't feel bad in the slightest.

He is so killing me later.

"Please take this seriously, Zoro-aniki, Abel-Banchou!" Yosaku screamed at the two of us. Just to humor him, we pulled on our serious faces on a flip of a switch.

"Yeah, levity and pathetic mental fortitude aside, we all are in a bit of a bind," I give my two cents.

"Seems like we're in for a fight," Zoro remarked, hand on his blade.

"Hey, let's not get too ahead of ourselves yet," I say. "I don't like the fighting idea." Mainly because I'd die.

"Then you'd be the smart one," Nami said coldly. "If you fight, you will be killed. Outsiders like you shouldn't be sticking your noses into business that doesn't concern you." Somehow that felt... surprisingly personal. Damn my vices! "Don't you still get it? The only reason I got close to you was for the money and nothing else. You are of no more use to me."

Laying this whole 'I'm your enemy!'-schtick a bit thick there, Nami.

"I'll return your ship," she continues "so why don't you find another navigator and head to the Grand Line. Go find One Piece or whatever... Just get the hell out of here! You're a bother!" Her head tilted downwards slightly, her eyes shadowed by her hair. "Goodbye."

...

"Nami," Luffy mumbled. After a moment, his body fell backward to the ground.

"Luffy-aniki?" Johny asked, confused and concerned for no reason. Just what is Luffy doing?

"I'm sleeping," He says as if reading my mind and crosses his arms behind his head in a comfortable position.

"Right now?!" Johny exclaims.

"In the middle of the street?" Yosaku questions.

"Technically, it's a road," I correct him, but go ignored.

"I don't feel like leaving the island. I don't care about what is happening here. I'm a bit sleepy," Luffy prattles on, yawning. "So I'm sleeping."

I smacked my palm on my face slightly. "Of course he can be passive aggressive at the worst of times. Kehehe..." My weak chuckles are not enough to convince me that this was going in a direction that I'd like.

Still, looking at Nami... wait. I just noticed that she has a glove on her left hand that seems very out of place. Interesting. Her hand was shaking too, from anger and frustration no doubt.

"Then..." Nami growled before yelling in anger. "DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! GO AHEAD AND DIE!" Then she turned and ran away.

Well... that was a thing.

I glanced at the sleeping Luffy. Once again I found myself questioning just how dumb and simple he was. He'd obviously done this for a reason. Is it that persistence that bested Sanji? Is he so zeroed on Nami being his navigator? Or... does he sense that there is something bigger going on here, and it involves Nami in a big way?

Monkey D. Luffy... You confound me.

-o~O-O~o-

"Are you serious, Zoro-aniki?" Yosaku asked in disbelief. "Arlong and his gang have targeted you specifically. Why aren't you running away!?"

"Now that we know Nami is that kind of a low-life, there is no reason for us to stay on this island!" Johny added.

"There is a reason," Zoro said casually, inclining his head towards the sleeping Straw Hat. "He's still staying here."

"And Captain's order is law on the sea," I add from my spot under a nearby tree. I like the shade. "As long as Luffy keeps being a stubborn idiot, none of those guys are leaving."

"Then why are you here, Abel-Banchou? You aren't part of Luffy-aniki's crew, right? So why won't you run." Johny asks. I close my eyes and gave a second to contemplate my reasons for not being miles away from this place.

"Aside from needing the help of these hooligan kids to leave... I'm curious by nature," I explain. "My base instinct is to learn something I don't understand, or find answers to a question bugging me. And I'd be lying if this island's, and by extension, Nami's whole situation isn't a curious one to me."

"I don't understand, Banchou..." Yosaku mutters quietly.

"You don't need to," I reply, opening my eyes to look at the bounty hunter duo. "You two don't hold any stake in this situation we are embroiling ourselves in. You are free to leave, and no one will blame you for making that call."

Both of their heads lower and set their gazes onto the ground. They are thinking of what I said, and by the way, their fists are clenched, they've come to a realization.

"... If even you, Abel-Banchou, refuse to run away," Yosaku says, both of them lifted their heads with newfound determination burning in their features.

"Then what sort of men would we be if we did?" Johny finishes the thought.

Honestly, I have nothing snide or sarcastic to say to that. I merely shoot them a proud grin. "Then that is your choice, made in earnest."

A while passed in silence, as waiting was all we could do, pretty much.

...

...

This is so boring.

"Say..." Thank you, Sanji! "Why was Nami-san crying back then?"

"That woman? Crying?" Zoro asked, skeptical.

"She was crying in her heart," Sanji explained.

"Tch, yeah, right. You're just imagining it in your pervert mind."

"Actually," I butt into the conversation, "he's right. Nami is definitely hiding some things, no question about that. And, as we've seen today, there is this effective thing called acting. It's really awesome stuff if you can do it, I tell you."

"SHUT IT, YOU FREAK!" Sanji screamed at me, angry at me bringing up his harrowing despair episode. Coincidentally, we sat under the same tree, but as far away from each other as we could manage. Not the safest spot for me, but I wasn't about to move just because I was afraid of pain.

"Watch your tongue, brat!" I snap at him, keeping my calm intact. "Show some respect for the lifestyle choices of others! If you want to call me names, at least call me something more correct for the situation. Like a filthy liar, or something."

"Damn freak... I ought to..." He snarled from behind his clenched teeth. I sighed and stood up.

"Okay, fuck this. We're doing this," I announce. "Get off your ass, cook!"

"What the hell are you on about now?" Zoro asks.

"Silence in the bean council!" I snap at him. I turn my full attention to Sanji. "You. Punch me." That catches him by surprise.

"What?"

"Hit me," I repeat. "You're mad, I'm a lying piece of shit that took advantage of your promiscuous nature- which is entirely your own fault if you think about it -and this air needs to be cleared. I don't want this thing to last any longer than it needs to, so come on. Hit me!" I shout at him.

...

"Just, you know, not in the face. Or head, 'cause of my concussion-OOOH!" I started to clarify before a foot was directed at the side of my head. I swear time entered slow motion as something... unexpected occurred. Before the kick could connect with my skull, Sanji's leg inexplicably moved so that it missed my head entirely.

Weirder still, it still it something.

I blinked, moving my eyes from Sanji's surprised face, to his leg and finally to the mess on the ground next to us. A mess with a very distinctive long nose.

"... Knew it!" I cheered at being right, raising my fists up in triumph.

-o~O-O~o-

"AAAAH! USOPP! What did Nami do to you?!"

"Hang in there, Usopp-aniki!" The bounty hunter duo cheered the boy on.

"Don't be an idiot," I snark at Luffy cradling the apparently dazed Long-Nose. "Clearly the footprint fits someone better, am I right, Mr. Cook?"

"Bite me, girly-man," Sanji snarls back.

"Well," I start, switching into a feminine, husky voice. " _If you're offering~_ " I lick my lips seductively and flutter my eyelashes.

He blushes heavily with a smile on his face, before realizing what he's doing and blanching in horror at his own automatic reaction. Huh? So my charms still work on him, even now?

Oh, this could be fun... But back to the situation.

"So, Long-nose," I address the curly-haired boy. "Nami didn't actually stab you, did she?"

"Huh? Well, no, she didn't. Here, let me explain..."

I was proven, once again, correct. Based on Long-noses story, Nami had only pretended to stab him to allow him to escape, faking the blood by stabbing herself in the hand. Very impressive on-the-spot method acting. That takes dedication and guts to pull. So that was why she was wearing that glove, to hide the injury. Clever girl.

...

She can act like that, yet I see right through her bad-guy act? Or is she doing that on purpose as an unconscious call for help?

Hmm...

"So I was correct after all," I muse to myself.

"You knew?" Long-nose asked.

"Well, not really. But I had a strong suspicion," I explained, crossing my arms in thought. "Nami's actions and words were filled with contradictions. Even when I was at Arlong Park alongside Zoro, I probed her for certain reactions by mentioning specific topics to learn a more definite picture.

"From what I've gathered, this Island is her home and is under the rule of Arlong and his gang. He makes the locals pay tribute to him for their safety and Nami, despite acting indifferent, seems to obviously care a whole lot about this whole situation. Might be the very reason she works for him, in fact."

"You are more correct than you think."

"What is it with convenient arrivals today?" I mumble and join the rest at focusing on the new arrival. A woman with slightly tan skin and... lavender blue hair. I'd call hair dye, but Zoro's green do is apparently natural, so...

"Nojiko?"

"Who's that?" Luffy asks Long-nose, who apparently knows this person.

"She's Nami's older sister."

So I can add family to a motivations list for Nami? O-kay!

"N-Nami's older sister!? She's such a beauty!"

"Damnit, cook," I grumble at Sanji's predictable reaction.

"Hey, you," Zoro addresses Nojiko, ignoring Sanji getting pissed at his lack of manners. "You know what is going on with Nami?"

"That I do. In fact, your friend there was pretty close to the truth."

"Making a lot of assumptions there, but thanks," I grumble. "Could you perhaps help us understand this whole situation then? Getting some much-needed context from a reliable source would be killer right about now."

"I'll tell you, but you must not get involved with our village's business and leave Nami alone, understand?"

"I promise nothing," I say honestly. "I can't talk for the rest of these clowns, but I suppose making them understand is your job now."

"I don't care," Luffy says and begins walking past Nojiko. "I don't care about her past."

"Where are you going, Luffy?" Sanji asks.

"A walk." And with that, he was off.

Nojiko raised an eyebrow slightly. "What's with him?"

"Don't care," I say, having a thought. "If I may ask something, Nojiko. Unless this comes off as too rude, do you two have a mother?"

She eyes me suspiciously, but answers. "We did."

I clap my hands. Jackpot! "And like that, I know what happened, more or less." I go pick um my sack of stuff and start walking by her too, following the road. "Have fun telling stories! I'm off for a casual walk in town!"

"Hey, aren't you going to listen when the fair lady tries to tell a story?"

"Stories are no fun when you already can figure out the contents!" I yell back at the cook without looking back. I spare them a lazy wave. "Have fun with story time, kids! I'll go find something more interesting to do."

With that said, I ignored them all and just kept walking. I was almost certain I knew Nami's deal now. I didn't need the extra fluff, so I might as well go take in the town, see if I can figure something out.

I hardened my eyes, as well as intoned what I had always been aware of.

I'm not a hero. And this isn't my fight.

-o~O-O~o-

Marine Captain Nezumi was a rat in almost every sense of the word, and not just because of his looks or choice of apparel. He was a weak and cowardly individual, who'd used trickery and innumerable counts of brown nosing to climb the ranks to his position. While smart in his own right, his arrogance made that an almost null quality. But what truly made him a rat in body, mind, and soul was his lack of a single functioning moral fiber in his body.

When Arlong had tipped him off that there was certain 'contraband' on Cocoyasi Island, under the possession of a girl called Nami, he'd been all too eager to take action and 'retake' this stolen property. After all, that's what a Marine does, isn't it? Take back stolen things from thieves. He was so pleased by the village leader Genzo's cooperation.

So naturally, he hadn't been happy when the girl in question had tried to intervene with his perfectly lawful search in the damn thief's home and surrounding tangerine grove. Thankfully the girl was soon deterred and ran off in a fit of anger. But it just couldn't be the end of it.

When another blue-haired woman had arrived on the scene and convinced Genzo to not be so cooperative anymore, Nezumi had about had it with interruptions for a day.

Which led Nezumi and his troops ready to 'subdue' these hostile elements that stood in the way of his rightful investigation. He himself was just about to fire upon the bluenette.

When a gunshot rang and he dropped the pistol he'd been holding, staring wide-eyed at the blood gushing out of his wrist where a bullet had just passed clean through. Within two seconds the shock passed and he screamed in pain. The marine soldiers were just as shocked at this development.

"W-wh-what are you STANDING AROUND FOR?! Find w-whoever did-" Another gunshot, and a marine fell, holding his now bleeding leg. After that, a new shot came every 2.4 seconds, meaning another felled marine from some sort of injury to the limbs. Taking cover was nigh-impossible, there just wasn't enough cover to hide behind, and despite their best effort none of the marine soldiers could figure out where the shots were coming from.

In the ensuing chaos Genzo and Nojiko fled the scene, and soon enough all but four of Nezumi's entourage lay with temporarily crippling wounds. Almost all the bullets had impacted the legs specifically. Almost all of them would live, but wouldn't be going anywhere in a while.

Left utterly terrified, Nezumi and the remaining marines didn't dare to move until there hadn't been more shots for a good ten minutes. The remaining marines had convinced their superior to fell back to their ship to get the men patched up, which Nezumi agreed to if only to bandage up his still bleeding arm. The sniper preying on them was long gone, and the treasure in the Tangerine Grove was left uncovered and untouched.

See, much to their misfortune, they'd bee spotted in town and followed by a very special individual, who trailed them and observed them on a gut feeling. And upon witnessing the 'justice' they were enforcing, took it upon his rifle to deliver righteous retribution. It was none of his business, but he really disliked Captain Nezumi, despite not even knowing his name. It was a stroke of sheer bad luck that drove a dark angel to rain demise on their wretched numbers.

The lesson to learn here is that a man using proper cover and a special concealment technique makes for a cheap, yet effective camping strategy. Hardly fair, but you couldn't argue the results.

After all, he wasn't a hero.

-o~O-O~o-

"Well, that was fun," I mumbled to myself, heading back to town after that outing. It had been a... nice distraction. Shooting corrupt law enforcement for being assholes. Whose dream isn't to do that?

No this guy's, that's who!

Still, damn that Nami for making me do these things for her sake! I know it was a pure accident and a whim I chose to investigate odd marine activity in a place run by a pirate. At least it was fun, putting some tools back in their place.

As I arrived back into town, I was met with a sight of a mob advancing to the general direction of Arlong Park. I spotted Nami standing behind them, watching them with shock clear in her features. She then sank onto her knees in a shivering mess.

So, they'd finally had enough of Arlong, huh? Better to fight for your freedom and die than live a slave. I prefer living above all else, but that isn't the point.

My pleased surprise shifted into concern when Nami started using the dagger in her hand to stab into her own shoulder. The one with Arlong's tattoo. I took a few quick steps to intervene, but someone beat me to it. I still got closer until I was well within hearing distance.

"LWhy are you still here?" Nami spat angrily at the straw hat wearing boy, the dagger was thrown away from her reach. "What do you want? You don't understand anything. You don't understand what has happened to this island for eight long years."

"Yeah, I don't," Luffy answered bluntly.

Nami was shaking, from anger or sadness. One or the other. "This is none of your business! I told you to leave this island, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did," comes Luffy's casual answer.

"Go away!" Nami yelled, weakly and ineffectively throwing sand back at the straw-hat boy. "Go away! Go away! GO AWAY! Go away! Go away..." Her cries got weaker and weaker until she was whispering to the wind. She had completely broken down now, crying openly and showing her true feelings.

"Luffy..." Nami spoke softly, weakly. She raised her head slowly, turned to slowly glance back at the for now passively observing boy. "... Help me."

There it was. The real thing she wanted to ask since the beginning of this mess. Without any notable change in his expression, Luffy reaches for his straw hat to pull it off and places it on Nami's head. I think this is the first time I've seen him without it. He steps ahead of Nami, takes a deep breath and lets out a mighty answer.

"HELL YEAH, I WILL!" He yells, throwing his fists in the air. He then starts walking towards the direction of Arlong Park. I see Zoro, Sanji, and Long-nose waiting for him and join up to walk towards the pirate base, side by side. For my part, I'd walked over to Nami's side, but kept my eyes locked on the four.

It seems like their minds and hearts are set. Nothing save for death will stop them now.

...

 _'Useless coward...'_

...

 _'Worse than garbage...'_

...

 _'... y-you... mo-monster...'_

"Tch," I scoff, alerting Nami to my presence. "What a bunch of reckless idiots." I set my bag down, open it up and start searching its contents.

"... Abel?" Nami asks me softly.

"I'm not a damn hero!" I growl at no one. "I don't do self-sacrifice! I don't do charity! I'm not a good person, damnit!" I find what I'm looking for and start pulling them onto the ground beside me. These should work for my purposes.

"What are you..." She asks me. I look her in the eyes, and what I see is the most unsettlingly nostalgic thing I'd hoped to never have to face again. A girl crying.

"... I'm not a hero who saves people at his own expense," I say, finishing up my emergency set up. "I might be a weak, pathetic prick, but I sure as hell am not a fucking coward! So you know what?"

I finish up and stare seriously at my chemistry set and assorted jars filled with chemical compounds as my head begins to make the magic happen.

"If I'm going into a fucking fight, then I'll fight _MY_ way!"

-o~O-O~o-

 _ **Next Chapter: Arlong Vs. Abel! Three Mighty Steps!**_

 _ **This time some more proof that Abel is a bit of an asshole if it serves his purposes, yet not so much of an asshole as to ignore what is right in front of him. Smell that? It's the nice smell of the moral gray area, where right and wrong become nothing but an ever changing perspective.**_

 _ **I hope you enjoyed. The next one will be a... well, you'll see ;)**_

 _ **-Professional Dirtbag, C-Hablerie**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter 7: Arlong vs. Abel! Three Mighty Steps!**_

 _"I hate a moral coward, one who lacks a manly spark._

 _I just detest a man afraid to go home in the dark._

 _I always spend my evening where there's women wine and song._

 _But like a man, I always bring my little wife along~"_

I nudge my companion on the side with my elbow and do a quick pirouette before continuing my casual pace down the road, lightly swinging side to side.

 _"I'm a member of the Midnight Crew._

 _I'm a night owl, and a wise bird too._

 _Home with the milk in the morning,_

 _singing the same old song~!"_

"Do you have to?" Nami asks, clearly envious of my amazing singing.

"Young lady, I am walking to what may be my untimely demise," I say to her in an exaggeratedly gentlemanly tone. "I'm quite certain you can allow to grant a man the right to levity and to deny reality with my dulcet tones as long as I can reasonably manage."

"What is with you?" Nami asks with a frown. "You obviously don't want to go. If you don't want to fight, then why are you walking straight to Arlong Park! No one is forcing you to do this! I'M not guilting you to do this!"

"Because I have too much pride," I explain casually. "That, and a seething complex born of a traumatic event in my past that doesn't allow me to be stupid and uncaring anymore."

"THAT'S YOUR EXCUSE!?" My thief companion shrieks at me. Then her brain seems to register what I said after my first point. "Wait... what?"

"Listen, Nami," I speak calmly, "Luffy and his friends, YOUR friends, are going to fight Arlong and his gang for you. I am not. They fight for save Nami. I fight to save face. They go into this stupid quest for the sake of someone they value and care for. I go into this madness so that I can wake up in the morning and not hate the very idea of being me. Capische?"

I don't look back at her, but I can feel her staring at the back of my skull. "... Abel, I don't want to be rude, and I know that I have no right-"

"Come one," I interrupt her, "we've got a fight to intervene in and our graves to dig. Go on ahead, if you want. I'm in no hurry." Then I increase my walking pace just a bit. With all the preparations I'd made, that I'd need, I was not stopped or slowed by something as insignificant as doubt or fear.

"... what... happened to you?"

I let out a short, empty laugh, sparing a moment to look back to humor her question. She flinched at the look my eyes conveyed, catching cold sweat. Eyes distant, dead. A slightly open-mouthed smile, vacant. The emptiness I hid behind the mask of an unparalleled actor but chose to show now. Maybe just to shut her up. Maybe for no reason. I couldn't care.

Nami couldn't find anything to say or rather didn't dare. After a bit of staring, and pondering, she did choose to take my advice though, as she sprinted ahead, running full-speed towards Arlong Park.

I kept my pace at a casual stroll, hefting my Bag of Wonders along down the road. My face returned to a mask, one of apathy.

"Stupid girl," I mumble, "who ever said anything about it happening _to me_?"

-o~O-O~o-

This day was forming up to be a damn mess.

First, his crew was felled by that damn swordsman that Hachi had unwittingly let escape. That he was willing to let slide, as Hachi couldn't have known since he was gone when the human was brought in and was not that quick on the uptake.

Then it was the incident at the town, first from that accursed Long-nosed human who'd dared to attack him. And then the Long-nose turns up alive after he'd personally witnessed Nami, the little traitor, stab him and throw him into the sea.

Not only that, but some other unknown assailant had caused an injury to his left leg and made him drop a building on himself like some baseborn fool. And damage to the Achilles tendon was a serious, crippling injury, even for a Fishman of his caliber. While still capable of walking on his own strength, he couldn't be as fast as he normally was and a slight limp could've been noticed if he wasn't so determined to hide such a flaw existed.

And now his homestead on this island was damaged, HIS men were being felled like flies by these three, pathetic, weak, inferior humans who'd dare intrude upon his domain and make demands of HIM! Not to mention that the damned devil fruit eater he'd chucked into the sea, legs locked in cement, was apparently _still alive_!

Even his top men had fallen. Hachi to that swordsman. Kuro-obi to that curly-brow. And most insultingly, Chew to that pathetic long-nosed one, the damned human daring to fire an egg at him. Now only he stood to this absolute madness he was dealing with. His crew, his entire crew, defeated save for him by mere humans! It was absolutely inconceivable!

Arlong was not having a good day. And it was only getting worse as he eyed the human that had beaten Hachi in shock. More specifically, the injury upon his chest. A slash across his form that by all rights should've made it impossible for him to beat the second best swordsman on Fishman Island, let alone move as he had after Arlong had personally struck him down. Any normal person would be dead from such a wound.

This human was dangerous, Arlong could tell. Extremely dangerous. If he wasn't deal with right now, it could become a massive problem. Given chance to recover, even Arlong wasn't sure of his chances against such single-minded determination, that kind of ability to survive by a mere thread.

Arlong knew what he was going to do. First, kill the swordsman. Then that long-nose. Then the curly-brow. Then Nami and the whole damned lot outside his gates!

But first... this human needed to die! Arlong raised his free arm, prepared to finish off this threat. Puzzlingly, the human had the nerve let out a weak, painful laugh. The human smiled in the face of death.

"If you take it easy, the wounds don't open..." The human spoke, in pain but more coherent than a man in his state should be.

"That's all you have to say, human?" Arlong snarled in disdain. "You think you are funny, don't you?"

The persistent smile didn't fade. It grew wider. "... I didn't mean me," the swordsman spoke, "I meant that octopus guy."

"... What?" Arlong couldn't understand what the human was saying... unless... Hachi's injuries... Arlong's eyes widened as it came to him. Hatchi, who was heavily injured in his battle, was racing to stop that other human from freeing the Devil Fruit kid. His wounds would...

"I told you before," The swordsman stated. "We've already won the game."

At that very moment, a shape rocketed out of the sea, flying high up to the sky before letting out a loud proclamation. And then a gunshot ran out.

Arlong was distracted, drawn between two moments, the gunshot and the Devil Fruit kid in the sky. So much so that he didn't notice... until it was too late.

"Kneecap." A gunshot, right by his side. His knee buckled as it was pierced and broken. In this sudden influx of stimuli, of shock and pain, his hand released the swordsman, who was snatched up the moment he left his grasp.

Stumbling slightly but refusing to fall or show his pain, he turned to see the swordsman being carried away from him like a sack of potatoes.

"Damn, you're heavy," said the one carrying him, a tiny gun held in the free hand. And Arlong recognized them.

"You..." He growled menacingly, showcasing his teeth in all their murderous glory.

The person walked a bit more, dropped the swordsman's body unceremoniously and turned, revealing a feminine round face, black hair shaped into drill-pigtails on either side of the head and skin as white as the moon on a clear midnight.

And what rattled Arlong was that this person had gotten so close without him noticing a thing.

"Me," responded the okama named Abel, not seeming at all nervous or afraid of his imminent demise. In fact, he was smiling cockily as he pocketed the tiny gun. "I suppose this makes it twice I've shot you in the leg. Same one, if I'm not mistaken."

Arlong felt his blood begin to boil. "So it was you..."

He didn't respond, suddenly flipping the rifle on his back into his hand while holding up three fingers with the other. "Three steps. That is how many I'll need to beat you."

At that Arlong felt like he could laugh. "Oh, is that so? You might have gotten the drop on me just now, but don't think-"

"You talk a lot," he interrupted. "Say, what ever happened to that first gunshot?"

Arlong's eyes narrowed angrily... before opening wide as his eyes caught onto something passing right by his face, falling from the sky. That was all the warning he got before his world exploded. The sound was deafening, the heat searing, and the impact more powerful than any cannonball Arlong had ever faced. Despite his efforts, the explosion sent him tumbling backward before falling on his back.

His vision blurred and his ears rung. The pain he could deal with, not in a million years willing to admit just how much that blast had hurt. He pushed himself up, trying to ignore how hard it was to stand on his left leg. He blinked to clear his vision, and so he came eye-to-eye with a pair of ocean blue eyes. The very next moment he felt something get jammed into his gills, and could feel a sensation of some kind of liquid pouring in. In panic at this course of events, his hand shot out at the closest thing and grabbed hold of the right forearm of his attacker.

"Got you now, you filthy-" Arlong's furious voice stilled as he got a more precise look at his attacker's face. The dangerous, unmoving expression was evident and in full display, but he noticed the bulging of his cheeks too late. The okama spat out a liquid that hit Arlong in the eyes.

And then Arlong screamed. The liquid burned his eyes, feeling like someone was sticking hundreds of tiny hot needles straight into his eyeballs. In his shock, his hand released the human, and the very next second he felt something behind his right leg. Then that something pushed forward with enough force to raise it from the ground, adding weight to his injured left leg, causing him to lose balance and fall flat on his back.

Arlong didn't get up right away.

-o~O-O~o-

Every single resident of Cocoyasi Village was silenced by shock. Johny and Yosaku's jaws were hanging on the ground. Zoro and Sanji, who'd swam out of the sea after breaking Luffy's cement bonds shared everyone's shock. Though the swordsman's face was adorned with a grin.

Luffy, who had seen the battle unfold just as everyone else, wore a similar, much wider grin, not even mad that his fight with Arlong had been postponed. And then Nami...

She couldn't believe her eyes. She just couldn't! It no sense. Abel wasn't strong, at all. He was weak, so pathetically weak that even she could beat him in an arm-wrestling contest.

So why had he just downed Arlong like it had been nothing!

Her eyes kept solely on the cross-dressed as he lifted his rifle to brace it on his shoulder and turned his back to the still screaming Arlong who was covering his eyes. She wasn't even sure what Abel had just done, it happened so quickly.

Abel walked over and grabbed Arlong's own lounging chair, moved it to stand between Arlong and the people outside of the gate, and just casually set his rifle down beside it and sat down to relax, arms coming to rest on his lap.

Again, Nami and everyone else was shocked at how casual he was being.

Then there was Usopp, who'd seen what had started it all. How a gunshot rang out and suddenly Abel was just there, near arlong, shooting his rifle in the air, then switching to a small gun to shoot Arlong in the knee and free Zoro. Then he walked away, enough distance to not get too affected by the ensuing explosion, from the first shot he fired.

Usopp thought he was a pretty good shot. He truly did. But what Abel had just done was pulled off with extreme precision. The exploding bullet, the Doomsday Round as he recalled, had landed exactly where he wanted it to and knew exactly when it would land. What happened next was covered by the smoke the explosion caused.

 _'Amazing,'_ the sniper thought, _'he pulled that off flawlessly. No hesitation. No fear of failure. A maneuver like that... it's still beyond me... I have to get better if I want to be a Brave Warrior of the Sea!'_

His dream renewed and resolute, his respect for the weird crossdresser grew significantly. He could only imagine what he was thinking at this very second.

-o~O-O~o-

 _'MOTHER FUCKER!'_ I screamed internally. _'Holy fuck, I was fucking lucky to make that fucking shot. Ran the fucking math SO FUCKING HARD but I couldn't be fucking sure if that'd fucking work. And it fucking did! I am a fucking genius!'_

Now, the reason my mind was clouded with profanity, even though I appeared calm as can be on the outside, was because of the pain my right forearm was in. Arlong's grab strength had not been what I'd expected. At all. It was so strong, and I don't think he was trying to crush my arm! I'm pretty sure it still fractured slightly. I swear I can feel every hairline fracture. I just let both my arms rest on my lap as I used Arlong's nifty chair for all it was worth. I can see why he likes slouching on it.

"And that is steps two and three," I quip loudly, making sure Arlong hears me over his screaming, which is thankfully dying down. I make it a point to not show even a single sign of weakness.

My plan was amazing in all its simplicity. A three step program, a word I usually hated because it tried to take alcohol away from me. But now it was to prove a point.

One was the distraction, the Doomsday Round from the sky. It allowed me a smoke screen to work with. The explosion was powerful, even more so up close, but I dug my heels in and wasn't blown off my ass, unlike Arlong. And unlike Krieg, the bitch, Arlong didn't have fancy armor to absorb some of the damage. It had gone off without a hitch.

Two was grabbing and applying the three vials of chemistry magic I had prepared beforehand. One of which I had poured and contained in my mouth for when I would be grabbed, as I had predicted I would be.

Speaking of GAAAH MY MOUTH! It burned and stung like I had swallowed a swarm of burning hornets! Not nearly as close to what Arlong's eyes are going through right now, but fucking hell that stuff feels brutal! And it LINGERS! Damnit, I'll need so much booze to wash this down!

And step three... Well, it was happening right now.

I spot Arlong rolling over, his screams being taken over with labored breathing, pushing himself on his knees to glare at me. Or, well, try to glare at least. His eyes are red, and not just from how absolutely livid he must be. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was also crying, but that was just a reaction to the borderline chemical burns the membrane of his eyes were experiencing. I don't think he can see me clearly. Only a really blurry shape.

"Y-y-you..." He growls like a wounded animal driven into a corner. Well, he doesn't think that, but I beg to differ.

"I am a man of my word," I speak up. "Except when I lie, like when I vowed that you'd never see me again. But when I mean something, that is the only, absolute truth of the matter. Three steps, I said." I gestured to him battered form, burned, bruised, left leg crippled for the time being. Not that he could see that. "And alas, here we are!"

"You... you think you've won?" Arlong snarls, pushing himself up, forcing himself to stand. "You think you, a pathetic human, can beat me?!"

"No," I state with absolute certainty, pointing out a fact I knew to be the truth. "I already have."

His glare intensifies, as much as his irritated eyes allow him to. A lot of the effect is lost. "... You dare..."

"I do, and I have," I speak clearly and loudly so that everyone around can hear. "I just slipped something down your gills. You must've felt it before I spat liquid burning in your face. See, I needed to make you ingest it somehow, but I didn't think I could force you to drink it. So instead I went for the next best thing. The nice, open pathways to the insides of your anatomy."

He took a step in my direction but halted, likely stopping his legs from faltering. I could see him catching on. "What did you..."

"Simple. I slipped a simple, yet effective toxin into your system," I explain, sounding just a mite smug. "It'll take effect soon enough, I suppose. I had to estimate your weight and possible racial differences, but it should work on you all the same. The point is, Arlong," I state in a deadly serious manner. "You lost the moment I forced that toxin down your gills. You can't win anymore."

He moves a bit closer, slowly. He is shaking with fury and bloodlust. "I... Refuse to... I'll kill... You..."

"Do as you wish, if you can," I counter his threat with a casual dismissal. "That toxin is a very special blend. A paralysis poison, in a sense. Once it takes effect, you'll be left unable to move a single of your muscles. All your motor functions will seize and lock down. Kill me or don't, it won't matter. Someone else can finish the job. I beat you, and you've just lost to a weak human."

I knew I couldn't beat Arlong in a straight up fight. No way. It was an absolute impossibility. So I did what any sensible, sane, non-stupid person would do in my situation.

I cheated. I cheated _hard_. Snuck up on him using Faint and waited for a proper distraction to make my move. Schemed my moves carefully in advance, to assure the least personal risk with the most effectiveness. The fact I managed to _again_ damage his leg was a bonus, crippling his mobility. I'd lucked out, big time.

As Arlong got closer and closer, I saw Luffy, Zoro and Sanji tense, ready to act, but I waved my hand at them, telling them to stand down and watch. Though reluctant to do so, they did. He was only a few more steps from reaching me, snarling in anger.

"I'll... kill you... I'll kill you... I'LL KILL- Gh!" He stumbled, his knees slackening under him, forcing him to his knees. His eyes widened as the rest of his body began to fall forward as well. But I stood up and stopped his body from toppling to the ground, holding him up by his right shoulder. Despite his kneeling position he was still really tall, enough for me to look him in the eyes. For what good it was worth.

"That's your muscles relaxing," I explained to the shocked Fishman. "In a second they will stiffen and lock in place. You'll be as unmoving as a stone. Don't worry though, I won't affect your internal functions, so you won't suffer a heart attack or anything. That would need a more concentrated dose."

A dose I had given him wasn't _THAT_ strong by a longshot, but I had to give him a double dose to make up for it.

His teeth were clenched tight, stuck in a snarl as he weakly tried to force his hands to rise, to grab me, to kill me. It didn't work. I felt it. The muscle in his shoulder tightening, hardening in what I could assume was an uncomfortable experience. I waited a few more seconds, then a few more to be safe before letting go. Arlong wouldn't fall over now. Not unless I pushed hard enough.

"By the by, you should be able to still speak. Maybe," I add.

"... How dare you... you pathetic human..." He manages to growl through gritted teeth, showing the instruments of a natural predator. If I wasn't so certain in the power of this poison, I would've backed off.

Arlong, the dreaded Fishman pirate, was not a threat to me anymore. The one that had absolutely dunked Zoro. And that kind of made me proud of myself.

A proud cheater? Truly, I have no shame.

"Now then," I say, pulling out my trusty black derringer. "This here is Lucifer. It's a cute, tiny little son of a gun, but more than capable of making a nice hole in your skull." I state all that coldly, tapping the small firearm on the top of Arlong left temple. "Imagine, if you would. At this moment I hold your life literally in my hands. I am a dark angel of death that has brought you to your knees. What say you, Arlong?"

He glared at me, letting out a mocking laugh. "You... you won't dare."

"My, what an interesting opinion you have there," I say, obviously mocking him. That brief levity left very quickly. "When one holds a gun, they hold in their hand the means to end a life. Those who point them at someone without the spirit to pull the trigger are spineless idiot. When you pick up a gun, you place your life, and the lives of those before you in your own hands."

I leaned closer, close enough to help him see the serious look in my eyes through his hazed vision. "And while you may be the first I've directly killed with a gun, do not flatter yourself by thinking you are the last."

It was brief, but I caught it. The hesitation. For better or for worse, he was buying what I was selling. He'd started to take my words seriously.

"Is what you'd think I say~," I chime in a much more definitely not serious manner, pulling the gun away and doing twirls in place.

"EEEEEHHHHH!?" I hear chorused all around me, from the villagers of Cocoyasi, from the Dumbass Duo, from Nami and Long-nose, Zoro and Sanji. The only who seems unconcerned by the sudden mood shift is Luffy. Go figure.

Arlong was less than pleased. "What are you playing at, human?"

I stopped and faced him again, this time with a faint grin that I doubt he could see properly. "Well, you see, while I could just off you, that wouldn't sit well with me for one sole reason." I then poked his saw-nose with my finger, softly as not to harm myself. It also serves the purpose of dramatically pointing at him. "This whole hating humans business? I _have_ to know what it's about!"

"THAT'S YOUR FUCKING REASON?!" I hear Nami shriek in disbelief, and maybe some anger.

"Of course!" I say with a bright grin, turning to face my young critic. "I am a curious soul, and all this condescending talk and racism has really got my inquisitive soul riled up. I simply must learn more of this fascinating racial tension here!"

"Are you kidding me? Just shoot him!"

I put on a serious face. "My dear Nami, I may seem like a lady of refinement, but I assure you, I am a man of refinement."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She screams. I like riling her up.

"Do I truly look like such a barbarian as to execute a man in cold blood while they are on their knees, unable to defend themselves?" I place my hands on my hips and shake my head. "I thought you were better than this, Nami. Shame on you! What would your mother think?"

"DON'T YOU DARE BRING HER INTO THIS! ARLONG-"

"Killed her. I know," I say, dropping the joking. "I am well aware of that, Nami." I turn towards Arlong, looking at him. "But killing in the name of hatred... that is a sign of a monster. And you are better than that. Better than him."

She didn't yell or scream. She was quiet. Good.

"... Are you mocking me?"

"Hm?" I hmm, raising a brow at Arlong's question.

"You... you dare to mock me? A pathetic human? Mock me, a proud Fishman?! A being superior to your wretched kind in every regard!" Arlong yelled in fury, as strongly as he could manage. "Your species think you're so high and mighty when clearly it is us Fishmen who stand above you! We are the superior species of this world!"

"... Alright," I say. "I agree."

"... What?" Arlong snarls. "You dare mock me again?"

"No, I actually agree with almost everything you said," I state honestly. "Well, at least based on physical traits and factual proof, you are superior to humans. And humanity's whole thing is that we think we are the top dogs or aim to be one."

He thinks on what I just said and grins viciously. "Oh, so you finally understand your place, hu-"

"On the other hand, now I can see you clearly have some issues," I cut him off. "It's clear you Fishmen possess superior physical traits when pitted up against by-the-book humans, that much is true. But that doesn't explain or excuse the frankly ridiculously blatant racism and a superiority complex that frankly makes you look pathetic. Have some pride!"

That set him off. "PRIDE?! DON'T YOU, A PATHETIC HUMAN, DARE TELL ME TO HAVE PRIDE! I AM A PROUD FISHMAN, BORN IN THE FISHMAN ISLAND! I WON'T ACCEPT THIS KIND OR RIDICULE FROM YOU HUMAN SCUM! I-"

His words end abruptly when two things happen. I slapped him in the face as hard as I could. Unfortunately, in my haste, I did so with my right arm. _The injured one_. On a surface that wasn't going to yield at all. The other thing that made him shut up, and that made every single living thing within hearing distance wince and gasp in pain by proxy, was a single sound.

The sound of the bones in my right forearm snapping in half. The pain was indescribable and the sight of my arm bending at an unnatural angle did not make it hurt any less. It was as if time had stopped, as my mind screamed loud enough that the backlash made a star blink out of existence somewhere. But as it resumed and my arm fell limply to my side, I showed no reaction.

Well, aside from my eyes twitching like crazy. Even I wasn't capable of miracles.

"... If you have so much pride," I say in a slow, deliberate manner. "Then my words should not bother you. My actions should not bother you. My existence should not bother you. If those actions _do_ upset your so called pride so much, THEN THAT PRIDE NEVER EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE, SO **STOP WHINING LIKE A PETULANT CHILD!** "

The slow start was to get him to listen to my words, actually, listen to what I was saying. The sudden snap of my arm was enough to shock him out of focus, so I made it my mission to grab firm hold of it. And the scream was to nail my point home. The pain I was in really helped me put extra effort into it.

And it did shut him up. For some reason, Arlong got cold sweat all over his shocked face. I blinked, not expecting that big of an impact. Then I hear some commotion by the gate and turned to see some of the villagers collapsing for seemingly no reason. Weird. Johny and Yosaku seemed fine but had that same cold sweat I'd spotted on Arlong. I glanced at the rest to see everyone, save Luffy, reacting similarly.

Strange. But not my problem. Have to stick to my topic, so I turn back to my target of interest.

"I am going to tear this ' _idea'_ of yours to pieces, so listen up, Arlong! My arm just snapped by me hitting you. I don't think you even felt much of anything," I start levelly. "The fact of the matter is, barring perhaps some of the children, I am undoubtedly the weakest, most frail human being on this island, if not this entire sea. And I beat you... No, I did not just defeat you. I annihilated you.

"Not through strength. I'd die. Not through endurance. I'd die. Not through pure determination and resilience. I'd. Fucking. Die! I beat you with the one thing I am superior to you in. Using my intellect, plain old cheating and not playing fair."

I looked him directly in the eyes the entire time, keeping my gaze as firm and level as humanly possible under as much pain as I currently was in. And most shockingly, he seemed to be listening!

"You see, physical superiority is just one facet of evolution. Didn't I mention this to you earlier? How the ones who survive and evolve are the strong _and_ the smart? Certainly, the stronger are superior when it comes to fighting, but they will always be stuck in combat with other strong beings for dominance and survival. The smart know their weakness and find new ways to get through life. Solutions to problems, short-cuts to goals, new innovations to gain an edge. How to survive while staying safe, hiding and meeting stronger forces with their brains, not brawn.

"You are of superior strength, Arlong. I am of superior mind. There is no gap between us, only a marginal difference. And today I have gained my victory. But if I know anything about reality and its trappings, it is that there will always be someone or something that stands higher than the pedestal you've built for yourself. I have no illusions that compared to others I've yet to know, my intellect and mind are but wayward thoughts in the wind."

I don't think anyone else spotted it. I don't think anyone but me could. What I saw in his eyes was his soul, laid bare. Hesitation, mixed with confusion, mixed with hatred and refusal to accept reality. It became clear to me that there was one more thing I had to know.

I reach for The codex with my unbroken arm and hold it up, looking at it more seriously than I have ever thought of it. "Alright, you stupid paperweight. You are going to show me exactly what I want to find, or so help me, I will find a way to burn you to cinders. Show me everything about the Fishman called Arlong!"

I didn't actually expect anything to happen, but the damned thing actually chose to be useful for once. Without my initiative, the white tome opened and it's pages flipped until they on an empty page. Soon letters and words began appearing, filling the emptiness with a full narrative. Exactly what I had asked.

 _'The Story of Arlong of Fishman Island'_

Sadly I don't think I can figure out a logical reason for this. Fuck it, it's magic. I don't care, I hurt very very much and want this dealt with so I can gain peace of mind.

"... What..." Arlong starts, more subdued than his earlier rage-filled roaring "What are you doing?" No 'human' in the end there? Curious.

"What I don't think any human here has tried before, I'd wager," I say, beginning to read. "Understanding you. Arlong the Fishman, not Arlong the pirate."

Still, I had to make sure this was trustworthy information, so before I read too into it, I picked some details to test for reactions.

"What are you talking about?"

"You have a sister?" I ask instead of answering him. He reacts to it, so it must be true. Still, have to be sure. I kept probing, keeping an eye on his reaction. "Is as a fortune teller. Name's... Shyarly?" I can only hope I pronounced that correctly. But based on Arlong reaction, the book was telling the truth. So I could trust this information.

"How... How do you know that?" Arlong asked, that fire from earlier back. He almost sounded... worried? Defensive? Interesting.

"I don't," I answer honestly. No point to lying about this. I held up the open book slightly. "I don't know how well you can see, but I've got this nifty, annoying book. It's filled with so many interesting things, or so it keeps reminding me. I' reluctant to admit it, but it might be magic or some crap like that."

I don't know if he believed me, but at the moment I didn't care. Instead, knowing I could trust the contents I was about to read, I did just that.

I read.

...

...

And read.

...

...

...

... And... read...

I felt the pain I was feeling grow duller the further I read into Arlong's life. The book was, for once, pretty comprehensive, even giving proper context(thank the Ancestors!). And what I read... what I learned...

I didn't like it. I didn't like it one bit.

After what might've been a few minutes of power reading, I slammed the book shut before unceremoniously letting it drop to the ground. I stood stock still for a moment, head lowered and the bangs of my wig wasting shade over my eyes.

"Hey, Abel-Banchou! Are you alright?"

I ignore Johny's worried outburst, digging into my dress pocket and bringing out my white derringer. To an outsider, it might've looked like I was taking aim at Arlong's skull once more, based on the arc I drew it in... Only to move past it, point it down and fire without hesitation.

"BANCHOU!" Johny, Yosaku.

"ABEL!" Luffy, Nami, Zoro, surprisingly Long-nose too.

"ABEL-CHAN!"Sanji, forgetting his horror at my true gender in the moment.

I stumble onto my knees and make to catch my fall... with the wrong arm. My broken arm fails to support me, twists painfully and sends my face to the cement floor. I don't try to hide my pain at this point. There is no point to looking cool right now.

"GAH! FUCKING! DAMN-GRRRH! AAAAHRG!" I let out a jumbled mess of muffled screams and loud curses.

I just shot myself in the knee, after all. That... that is not fun.

As I continued to let my barely contained pain train run rampant, I was coherent enough to hear a surprisingly soft question.

"... What?" Arlong asked. Looking up I saw his eyes on me, so I assumed his eyesight had come back, at least enough to tell what I'd just gone and did.

"Oh... Y-you know," I stutter shakily, unable to compose the mask I wore earlier. "giving a fucking... p-pathetic asshole some... d-d-deserved karma. No big."

I then lower my forehead so that it touches the concrete. I'd just fallen into an extremely deep Japanese-bow. It stood for regret and great shame and was a plea for forgiveness. And it was a _big_ deal. And I really meant it.

"W-what are you doing, human?" Oh, the 'human' was back? Neat- Focus!

"It's... exactly what it... looks like," I speak through my pain, partially through gritted teeth. "Not only have I... fired upon your leg... twice. But I've also... invaded your privacy and... possibly wasted your time... I'd say, in my shape... I've paid for my... assault. But... the others I can't remedy... on my own. They are... unforgivable by my own conscience."

He was confused. Everyone was confused. I could faintly hear the villagers whisper amongst themselves. I didn't care though. I didn't listen. What I'd read was HIS personal information. I'd invaded onto the most personal of territories in my need to know, to understand. I had no right. And for what? Curiosity?

I take a moment to collect myself.

"So... here is what I say," I state as loud as my mangled, pain-filled body can. "When your paralysis wears off... If you so wish it... I will allow my death!"

-o~O-O~o-

Nami didn't know what to think, how to react.

Abel... was kneeling before Arlong. No jokes, no snipes, no smartass comments? He'd just... shot himself in the knee, just like he'd shot Arlong in the knee. Did he... Had Abel just... promised to kill himself on Arlong's word?!

"What is that guy talking about?" A villager mumbled.

"He's crazy! He's not making sense!" another yelled.

"Damn kid must be delirious from the pain he's in," the village doctor, Nako, gave his own opinion on things. But Nami knew it wasn't the case.

She hadn't known Abel that long. She knew that he was a cross-dresser, a bit of a condescending smartass at times, and really intense when he wanted to be. And he was an actor, wearer of so many masks that Nami wasn't sure if any of the ones she'd seen were his true face. But still, in her gut, Nami could tell that in this instance, Abel was talking with full clarity and complete seriousness.

It made no god damn sense in the slightest!

But what shocked her was the reaction from Arlong. Or rather that the reaction would be anything else than cruel laughter. No. It was something so much more puzzling and bizarre.

For the first time since she'd joined his crew, Arlong was struck speechless by the actions of the odd man that kneeled before him. Then, weakly using his good arm, Abel pushed himself up and started to shakily stand.

"L-later though," He spoke calmly, voice wavering from pain. He was wearing a mask again, or at least a half of one. "I've still got... talking to do."

"Don't try to stand, you moron!" Nami heard Nako scream from the crowd and she saw the old man take a step towards the heavily injured man.

"You stay there!" Abel yelled out, strength and stability returning to his voice, stopping Nako in his tracks. The leg he'd shot himself in was shaking heavily, forcing itself to stay standing. "This is my business until I say otherwise! You all stay out of it, or I'll shoot you! I have a bone to pick and I'll pick it clean, damnit!"

And frighteningly enough Nami couldn't honestly bring herself to doubt his words. Not after all he had said today. Not after doing something as seemingly impossible as talking _Arlong_ into silence. And definitely not after... whatever that weird feeling a minute ago was that made a couple people pass out and start foaming at the mouth.

Abel visibly fought to stand tall and proud, as if doing anything less was insulting. To whom, Nami couldn't even begin to guess. Never had Nami met a person who she couldn't read as little as the cross-dresser. And for better or for worse, he was giving Arlong a lecture.

"Now see, I had never actually met, let alone heard of Fishmen before coming over here, to this island. I was actually really excited to meet one. The things I could've discovered... The things I could've loved to learn..." Abel started, sounding surprisingly wistful, carrying his tone with an air of gentleness. The very next moment it was gone. "... Instead, what I find are a bunch of racist supremacists that are really starting to make me think of one of the most hated and reviled men I've ever known to exist. If I was a person of lesser intellect, I'd just throw the lot of you into a box YOU have painted for me to observe!"

He placed emphasis on his words by harshly pointing a finger inches away from Arlong's face. And he was growing more intense and angrier by each spoken word.

"Do you have an idea what repercussions your actions hold? Do you even stop to think how your actions reflect on your kin? How your actions and words mold the perspective of any and all humans that as much as hear of you?" He roared, showing more strength than any man in his state had any right to. "How they will follow the example you've shown of them? How impressionable children learn and are taught that all fishmen are evil and untrustworthy? Because of Arlong the pirate!"

The tirade broke Arlong out of his silence, a fire igniting in his eyes as anger burst through once more. "Don't talk as if you know anything about our plight, human! It's humans that look down on us, despite our superiority! It's the humans that enslave and oppress our kind! It's humans who killed my Captain!"

Nami was shocked at what she was hearing. She always knew that Arlong had no love for humans, but that it ran that deep... To elicit such rage...

But it was nothing compared to what Abel had in return when he suddenly grabbed firm hold of Arlong's sharp nose and pulled himself extremely close to his face.

"THE PAST HAS PASSED US ALL, AND WE MUST LET IT BE! THE FUTURE IS WHAT WE MAKE OF IT, AND THE FUTURE YOU MAKE WITH YOUR ACTIONS AFFECTS EVERY SINGLE FISHMAN, EVERY SINGLE CHILD BORN INTO A WORLD TAUGHT TO HATE AND FEAR THEM BY FISHMEN LIKE YOU!" Abel roared in absolute, righteous fury. The fire in his eyes practically extinguished the fire in Arlong's.

"..." The dreaded Fishman was again struck speechless, a look of absolute shock plastered on his features. Nami couldn't believe the effect the cross-dresser was having on the monster she had hated for most her life... Or how it was having an effect on her. Her breath wouldn't come out properly and hear heart stilled at the sheer weight in every single word out of Abel's mouth. He wasn't even paying mind to the blood seeping from his hand as he clutched Arlong's nose tighter and tighter, focused solely on the Fishman before him.

"Do you see? Do you comprehend how you and people like you are dooming your future generations? How it is an unavoidable fact that hatred only breeds more hatred? It is an eternal cycle that can only be broken when hateful people like you let go of the past and focus on trying to build a better future!" He kept going, with much less volume but not even a sliver of weight lost.

"You hear that? Some say that there is a 'do' or a 'don't'. No 'try'. Well, that is a crock of shit! There is always a 'try'! To 'try' is to attempt to do, despite not knowing if you can. To 'try' is to work your hardest to overcome all adversity. To 'do' is to do what you can, to 'try' is to earn the right to succeed through blood, sweat, and tears!"

Nami felt the words resonate within her. She understood. She understood perfectly what Abel meant. She had worked hard, dedicated her everything to her goal. To see it realized. She always held doubts, if she could do it, to buy her village and save everyone. Nojiko, Genzo, Nako, everyone... But she still tried! She tried so hard, despite the responsibility tearing her apart inside. She felt tears silently start to fall down her cheeks.

"What I have seen here today is not 'doing'. It is not 'trying'. For fuck's sake, it's barely even a 'don't'! What I see is passivity of the most malignant sort! The kind content in drudging in its own filth because no one bothers to do anything about it! Festering until it becomes something repugnant and vile! Instead of trying to help your people be accepted and to be safe, you further drive their reputation through filth of your own creation! As you are you barely have the right to call yourself a Fishman, much less a proud one!

"So, let me ask you one thing, Arlong," Abel spoke while staring him straight in the eyes, voice barely a whisper, yet it carried all across Arlong Park with even greater weight behind it than before. "Instead of wallowing in the excuse of your past like a pathetic worm, **have you ever even tried to 'try'?** "

Nami expected a lot of things from Arlong in response to such a question. A callous, mocking laugh. A roar of anger. Condescending and racist remarks. All the above, tied in a neat, angry and deadly package. That was the monster she had known all her life, who had driven her to the brink of despair.

But instead... She saw something that felt so much like an illusion. Too unrealistic to possibly be real. Arlong, the vile monster she'd feared all her life and hated with all her heart... looked shocked, borderline catatonic and... lost? Like his entire world had just shattered to pieces and didn't make sense anymore, so his mind just went blank.

From her vantage points, she saw the villagers look as shocked as she felt. Zoro and Sanji looked on with something resembling... understanding. And while Luffy looked as unreadable as ever, his eyes were hidden in the shadows cast by his hat, head slightly lowered.

She turned her attention back to Abel just in time to see him release hold of Arlong's nose, blood flowing from his shredded palm. But instead of paying it any mind, he slowly limped to his rifle and picked it up.

"Sorry to rob you of your fight, Luffy," He spoke, voice collected and calm. Any sign of pain was almost gone from his tone or expression.

"It's okay," Luffy replied, sounding uncharacteristically serious.

"Good to hear," He said, placing the rifle underneath his arm to reach into the ammo bag on his waist. "I got one more thing to do if you'll allow me."

"Sure," Luffy agrees. "Go ahead."

He fished around the bag, pulling out a few things to inspect before he found what he was looking for. One of the unique bullets his gun used, though Nami didn't see anything special about it.

"Nami!" The orange-haired thief jumped slightly at being called out. "You worked for them. Made maps, or something or value? Surely there was a room you worked in, right?" He loaded the bullet in and readied his rifle. Then he looked straight at her. "Where is it?"

Unsure of what Abel was going on about, she still found her hand pointing to one window. To the room that held more than it's fair share of horrible memories. He followed her finger and just nodded. Then he took aim, as well as he could with just one arm.

"... What... Are..." Arlong spoke, but it sounded... hollow? The words came from somewhere but were empty.

"There is only one way to purge away the filth accumulated by the past," Abel spoke, focusing his aim. "And that is to burn it in **Hellfire!** "

A trigger was pulled and the rifle fired what looked like a bright, orange flare. It crashed through the window of Nami's map room, and for a few seconds, nothing happened. Then the windows exploded outwards as flames burst out of them. Within a second the entire room was aflame and was quickly spreading to the rest of the might Arlong Park main building.

Arlong's blank eyes widened just a bit more than they already had. "... Maps... Priceless..."

"Is a good friend worth less than a bunch of paper with drawings on it? Is a sibling? A revered leader?" Abel spoke softly, dropping his rifle as his good arm fell limply to his side to join the broken right. He just stared as the fire continued to dance on the tall building, climbing up it like a snake enveloping its prey. "No. But a life of a single being... that is a value that cannot be accurately measured by mortal minds, or met by any treasure."

He then turned to give a glance to Nami. No doubt he saw how she was crying. "You're free. Join your true friends. Or do whatever you want. This place chains you down no longer."

All Nami could do was weakly nod. This all had been very emotionally draining. Then Abel turned to stare at Nako.

"You are a doctor, right?"

"I am, yes," Nako answered, taking a step towards the crossdresser. "Let me see your wounds. You and your friends must be tended to immediately!"

"Forget it," Abel dismissed the doctor, much to the confusion of everyone. "Ignore me. Help the ones that really fought... Also," he turned to look around Arlong Park, and the knocked out Fishmen littered around its premises. "... the Fishmen."

"I assure you, they will be restrained," Genzo spoke up, coming to stand by Nako.

"No," Abel again dismissed what was said to him. He turned to face the villagers of Cocoyasi. And addressed them all. "You'll help them as well."

Nami's eyes shot wide open, and not in a good way. The rest of the villagers didn't find the suggestion that funny either.

"Excuse me?" Genzo asked in disbelief.

"You must be joking! Or insane!" Nojiko voiced her own thoughts on the matter.

"Abel," Nami yelled at the cross-dresser, "what are you saying?! You should know by now what these Fishmen have done to us. Why the hell should we-"

"Because you are better than this," Abel spoke quietly, yet it silenced everyone. "These Fishmen have maintained a circle of hatred, and you are trapped in it too. Be better than you are. Break it by yourselves." He then addressed Nako specifically. "You are a man of medicine. It is your duty to aid those injured and of ill health. And I see a lot of it where I stand, and not amongst any of you."

His eyes narrowed.

"You are better. You just have to 'try'."

Silence reigned for what felt like a small eternity, every villager's head slightly lowered in introspection and shame. Then, eventually, Nako was the first to raise his.

"You're right," The old doctor admitted. "If I don't help them, then what kind of doctor would I be? Fishman or no, wounded are wounded." He took steps towards further into the park. "But I'll deal with the more serious cases first." He obviously meant Zoro and Abel when he said that. And not soon after, starting with Nojiko and Genzo, more villagers stepped up to help. To be better.

"That's fine," Abel said, and too late Nami noticed, much to her worry, how his body was starting to shiver and shake under its own weight. "Because I really can't... keep this up and... I'm about... ready to pass out... from the... pain..."

He then slowly fell forwards onto his knees before toppling over on his side.

He was out cold long before he touched the ground.

-o~O-O~o-

 _ **Didn't expect it to go down like that, eh? Abel shows off his fighting style: Hardcore Cheating! He truly is the good(ish) version of Krieg! As well as something else...**_

 _ **Abel has discovered the**_ **Hellfire Rounds** _ **! A high incendiary bullet that**_ _ **releases the flames of hell! (Caution: the flames are not actually the flames of hell. The old goat downstairs would sue.)**_

 _ **Bullets Discovered 3/6!**_

 _ **And yes, you are absolutely right. Abel totally used**_ **[that]** _ **. Well, the unbelievable pain helped a LOT, but... Hehe.**_

 _ **\- Talking You The Monster To Death, C-Hablerie**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8: Choices And Investments**_

Kill me. Just kill me right now.

As if existing in a contradictory state of lingering pain and physical numbness wasn't enough upon my reconnection with the waking world, now I was the victim of one of my favorite things to do to other people. Only it was doubly as unbearable because of where it was coming from.

I was being lectured by a practitioner of medicine.

"The amount of duress your body was under is quite simply ridiculous in its extent, not even taking into account how frail your body, in general, seems to be. The radius and ulna in your right arm were just barely salvageable, you had older skull fractures you're lucky didn't get worse and you almost obliterated your left kneecap. Not counting how your left palm was shredded, you're lucky you weren't permanently crippled," the old man, a doctor by the name of Nako, listed off my injuries. "Now, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"The Aristocrats," I replied to his understandably ticked off question. "You got any booze? I'll take medical ethanol if you have any."

"Like I'd let a man in your state drink concentrated alcohol!" the old-timer snapped at me. "Are you trying to kill yourself?"

"Nah, got over that phase a long time ago," I responded nonchalantly. He didn't seem happy at how relaxed I was about insinuations I was making. "Anyway, how are the rest?" I ask, before adding onto it, "All of them, I mean."

"Those guys with the Straw Hat Kid? Yeah, they are fine. The swordsman got it the worst, somehow being worse off than you, somehow."

"Damn, didn't beat him in injury severity," I grumble, weakly shaking my healthier, bandaged fist in the air. The right one was stuck in a cast, supported by a cloth over my torso. "Next time, Roronoa, I will skirt closer to death than you!"

"... You're insane, the lot of you," the old doctor deadpans.

"Relax, old-timer. I'm obviously just kidding around to forget the omnipresent pain I'm in," I explain. "Trust me, I hurt a lot more than I let show. I just have exceptional self-control. I'm fully aware of how bad off I am right now. But that reminds me, how are _they_?"

He obviously got what I was insinuating, frowning slightly. The aching of old wounds is hard to ignore, especially when they were so fresh.

"The Fishmen got off fairly easy. Most were knocked out before any serious harm could be done. Some scrapes and bruises. The three officers, on the other hand, they were a mess," Nako explained, and I was glad and proud of his medical integrity. "They'll live, obviously. If anything, Fishmen are hard to keep down for long. They're all bound near Arlong Park with a few volunteers watching them."

I nod. Good to hear that whatever I'd said... yesterday, I think it was, had affected Nako, and the rest. Honestly, those last moments are a bit of a blur. I'd already begun to lose consciousness at that point and held on with sheer force of will. I was impressed with myself for that.

That, however, brought another thing to the forefront of my mind.

"And Arlong?" I can see the conflict and repressed hatred even the name invokes. I can't, and won't blame him for it.

"... He's fine. Tied up with the rest," He tells me, frowning. "It was... strange. He didn't show much of a reaction to... well, anything really. It was almost as if his mind was elsewhere and unaware of the world around him."

I raise a brow in response. Did he now? That is good to know. I'll be sure to remember it.

"Now then, when am I allowed to leave this damn bed?" I ask with a blank look. "I'd rather get some fresh air than growing bored inside."

"You'd need a crutch and avoid putting too much pressure on your left leg, but I could let you move around," Nako said, clearly not happy about it. I think he realized he couldn't stop me if I really wanted to go out. "Within reason of course. No exerting yourself!"

"Good doctor, to live is to exert myself," I snark, in good humor before shrugging in 'defeat'. "But if that is the condition I must fulfill, then I suppose I must."

After forcing me to promise and vow to actually not do anything too crazy, doctor Nako gave me a wooden crutch I could use to get around. Normally I'd use two, but my cast didn't allow for it. I'd work with what I had. I always did. Always have. The first thing I asked was on the location of my belonging. He informed me that they were kept safe by the villagers and would be returned when I was better. Fair enough. When I asked him where Luffy and his crew were, he informed me that they were congregated in the room Zoro and Sanji were recovering in. After I thanked him for informing me, I made the educated, undoubtedly correct choice.

Get the hell outside and far from the obsessed grasp of Monkey D. Luffy. He'd been persistent on me joining his crew before but after yesterday... Damnit, that had been a really bad idea in retrospect. But what is done is done, and there's no use whining when something came out of it.

It was so that I found myself mingling around Cocoyasi, just kind of limping around. It felt... strange without my rifle or the harness I was used to, but not bad. Sort of... free? It was hard to describe. Maybe I was just certain of my safety. Still, I quickly checked my pockets and found both my derringers with me. I only had one shot left in Satanael, but that would be enough to give me peace of mind.

Talking with the people of Cocoyasi was an interesting experience. I'd never really even seen the kind of reverence and gratitude they were showing towards me. It was... uncomfortable because it was unfamiliar. But at least my ego could take some pleasure out of it. I received thanks and wishes for a swift recovery. All in all, it was... nice. I also heard that they were preparing a celebration that we were welcome to partake in. Much to my immense joy, that meant alcohol!

Naturally, this calm couldn't last forever, because apparently, the good doctor couldn't keep his mouth shut about my discharge and had sent a storm my way. A very annoyingly chipper storm in the form of a Monkey.

"Abel! You're up!" the menace yelled, strolling towards me with a grin that I was certain should've split his face in half. "You okay?"

"Oh yeah, totally," I reply sarcastically. "I'm absolutely just wearing this cast and these bandages for fun. They're very stylish, you know." I mean, I wasn't lying. Bandages, if applied properly can be very complimentary to my fashion sense.

"Really? That's great!" Luffy replied in earnest. It was then that I realized that maybe the person I was talking to didn't quite grasp sarcasm.

"No, what I meant- never mind," I decide it isn't worth it. I just let out a long, suffering sigh, knowing what is to come. "Let me guess..."

"What you did with Arlong was pretty cool." the boy says with a grin. "Abel! Join my crew!"

"I knew it," I muttered under my breath. I held a deadpan countenance as I answered, "Damnit, you're not letting this go, are you?" He just grinned innocently. I let out a sigh. Those seemed to be getting longer each time I talked to him. "Just... let me think on it."

Ignoring how damned happy me not outright saying no was to the kid, I really needed to figure this out. Clearly, this was going to keep going until my sanity broke and I'd say yes just to shut him up. That was unacceptable. But then again, clearly these guys were a bunch of good people. The label of Pirate aside, Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, and that Long-nose were good people. Trustworthy, loyal to a fault when it came down to it. Would it be as terrible as I had made it out to be?

I won't lie to myself. I like safety, I like stability. It is orderly and logical. Easy to deal with. I like living a simple existence without complicated nonsense. I like to live my life a day at a time, drowning myself in alcohol and- okay, maybe my lifestyle isn't the best. It's perhaps too mundane. It has no challenge, mental or physical. Clearly, I have survival instincts and a vast pool of knowledge to draw from, it's just never come in handy before... this madness.

Perhaps... just maybe this would be good for me? It would certainly beat the mundane boredom I've lived in for a good part of my life, not really doing anything about it... Wait...

The realization is like a brick to the face. Arlong had stagnated in his hatred, not willing or bothering to do anything about it except let it fester. That was me! I was stagnating myself in my boredom and apathy, unwilling to risk change in my comfort zone! For what, fear of injury? Clearly, I can take punishment if I need to, yesterday was proof of that! GOD DAMNIT! Now I can't not accept or else I make myself a hypocrite! I can't believe Arlong helped to me... realize...

...

Wait. What if...

...

I get snapped out of my thoughts by a finger poking my cheek. On instinct, I react by trying to bite it. Luffy pulls away fast enough, leaving me to snap my jaws shut on nothing.

"What?" I ask, slightly irritated at this intrusion to my body.

"You were really quiet and didn't speak."

"... Yeah, sorry," I apologize. Damnit, I need to meditate to get rid of this habit of spacing out. Add it to the list. "... Listen, Luffy. I might be willing to join you kids." Noting him about to burst into celebration, I hold a finger up. "However! I will give my official answer later. I do have a condition I aim to fulfill if I do accept. And I feel I need to inform you of exactly what that is."

Because unless I make a really good case, he isn't going to like it.

-o~O-O~o-

The party was great!

The celebratory fiesta that Cocoyasi put up was set up to last for a while and for the life of me, I could only focus on the thought of how long I had actually gone dry. A whole month! That's crazy and was fixed very quickly when I was given a big bottle of sake by the town leader, Genzo. A 'thank you' of sorts for my part in the Arlong debacle.

I wasn't listening that well because the moment I got it I chugged half of the big jug in one go. Shocked the hell out of Genzo, but he didn't make a fuss about it. I did my best to show how much I appreciated the gift. Plus, the sake was damn good. Score!

While Luffy and his gaggle of idiot kids just did their own thing, I was having 'fun' dealing with loose ends. The first one just happened to involve a mutual love of drink. Lucky break!

"Sorry," I say, sitting on the grass and holding the second bottle of sake. The first one went too quick, so I was taking it slow with this one. "About shooting you in the ass. It was a survival tactic. I'd say I was ashamed, but I don't really do that."

"... It's fine, I suppose," my drinking partner concedes, only frowning minutely. "It all ended up for the better, and you more than made up for it."

"That so?" I ask, tilting the bottle on my lips to take a large gulp. "... Yeah, I suppose I kind of paid for that already. I mean, I do have all this constricting nonsense all over my limbs..." I weakly wave my cast and arm-sling and making a poignant gesture to my left leg. "Fuck, that last one was dumb."

"Why _did_ you shoot yourself?" Zoro asks, curious. I offer a shrug.

"I dunno. One of those eye for eye things? I shot his kneecap, I shoot mine."

"Didn't think you the type that cares."

"Hey, I might be- AM a massive asshole, but there are some things that are sacred!" I snap at his comment. I take a breath to calm down and continue in a more melancholic tone. "One's personal past is their own business. It is theirs to share and safeguard, no one else. And I invaded on that right. I don't regret it, it was what I needed to do to get my results. I couldn't have talked like I had unless I understood."

I let out a hollow laugh, hitting the nail in my own existential head. "That's me, isn't it? A curious asshole who can't keep his need to understand in check. Pathetic."

I take three long gulps from the bottle. Then Zoro speaks up.

"Regardless, you did good there," he says, drinking his own sake. "While you obviously lack honor and shame, you spoke from your soul yesterday. Haven't met anyone who speaks with such weight behind their words before."

Welp, at least he didn't bring up my reading of Luffy and Long-noses pasts, but those were fragmented while Arlong's was the full course. There was a difference. Something annoyed me though.

"Tch, honor is for warriors. Not for survivors like myself," I scoff at the notion. I take a moment to look at the darkening sky. "Have to say though... I'd forgotten what it was like."

"Hmm?" he hmms, an indication to go on.

"What it feels like to have a fire in my heart again. I'd lived such a simple, easy, and safe existence for a long time that I must've forgotten." My mood takes a noticeable dip. "Forgotten what it was like to feel properly alive. In danger, yet moving on because that's what was necessary. To feel pain and deal with it because there was something more important to do." I let out a short laugh. "Being mad at someone doing stupid shit and a need to set them straight."

"..." Zoro's silence... I don't know what it says. I don't bother to look into it. I tilt the jug back for a big, long gulp. It's empty now, and I'm only gaining a slight buzz at this point. Damn my high tolerance!

I make to get up with the help of my crutch. "Anyway, nice that this air is cleared. I've got something stupid to do. And people to avoid."

"Love-cook?"

"Yup," I pop my lips and start moving at a slow pace. I stop and wave back briefly without looking back. "Enjoy the drink. I know I will!" And then I was moving again, away from the festivities and out of town.

I had more to do tonight when everyone else was having fun and being distracted. They'd suffered enough, they deserved this joy in their lives. I had someone to talk to. And a promise to keep.

But first, I'll need some more sake!

-o~O-O~o-

Sneaking away from the party was simple as hell. Just needed to gather enough focus for a brief Faint and I was gone before anyone could even imagine they'd cared. The alcohol didn't hinder my focus much. I wasn't anywhere near that far gone. That's the end goal.

Still, on the walk to my next order of business, I'd finished the third bottle of Sake I'd picked up at the party, along with two I carried with me. That roughly translated to light swaying and trouble walking in a straight line. I mean, I could but that just wouldn't be as fun, right?

Unfortunately, it also translated as me being easier to notice with Faint. Drunk people tend to attract attention, so the technique was pretty much useless unless I was cold-dead sober. Or drunk beyond belief. Also a possibility.

Hence why upon arrival I was immediately caught.

"If I might ask, why are you over here?" Genzo asked me, arms folded and wearing a serious look underneath the shadows of his hat.

"Why are _you_ over here?" I futilely try to divert attention. I know it won't work, but I don't care. This isn't an obstacle.

"If you must know, I'm keeping an eye on the prisoners," the scarred man replied. "The rest are having fun, but someone needs to watch them. Might as well be me."

"How noble of you, Mr. Village Leader," I remark dryly. "Might as well answer in turn. I'm here to talk to someone."

"... I see.," He says. "Go ahead then. Be careful though. Some of them might try something."

I wave off his concerns and limp over to where the Fishmen are. All of them are tied up with lengths of thick rope, much like Zoro and I were on our first arrival to Arlong Park. Irony at it's finest. Some of them noted me approaching and turned their heads to look my way. I noted some glares, some were unreadable and some just didn't care.

But I wasn't interested in the paltry masses. No, my attention was on the only Fishman not bound in badass twain, but instead in iron chains. If that wasn't an indication of a difference in power level, I don't know what that is. So without much fuss, I plopped my ass down in front of him, legs crossed underneath my dress. It was interesting to see the almost thoughtful look on his face, looking at the grass. He didn't even seem to notice I was there yet.

"Heeey, buddy~!" I greet Arlong cheerfully, making my presence known. "What's up, A-Pain? Got water in your gills? Is that a saying? I think that's a saying."

... Okay, so maybe I was a bit more intoxicated than I'd let on. But as luck would have it, I was a natural lucid drunk. I never lost control. Just didn't care to maintain it as strictly.

... A thought occurred. "Wait, was that racist? Am I the asshole now? Shit, why you do this to me, Arly!" I wasn't one for shame normally but drunk me easily lost the plot and that ticked me off somewhat. This is the closest I got to feeling shameful for the absolute shit-show coming out of my mouth right now.

"... Why are you here?" Arlong asks, attention drawn to the grass and voice sounding distant. Damn, he must've been deep in thought. I wonder if he was introspecting?

"What is with people wanting to know that? Can't I be where I want whenever the hell I want? Last I checked I don't have a curfew and none of ya'll are my mother," I snark. I shook my head to collect myself. Time to get back to the point. "I'm here to talk if you must be made aware. It's a thing people do, and it's much healthier to the psyche if you do it with others rather than yourself. Read a book or something..."

I took a pause to take a drink. Yes, I wanted to get even drunker. It just took a while.

"... And I'm also here 'cause I made a promise," I said after I'd swallowed the burning liquid. "I told you, I'm a man of my word when I make a promise in earnest." A thought occurred. "You can move, right? I... honestly don't know how long that paralysis poison was meant to last. Kind of made it in a hurry."

Give me a break! I made a paralyzing agent in a matter of minutes and then diluted it to not make it force cardiac arrest. I'm a fucking Genius with a capital letter!

Arlong's response wasn't verbal, but the fact that he raised his head from the grass to look at me said all I needed to know. That poison made every muscle hard as iron, and unmoving as stone. It had passed from his system. That could be a good or a bad thing.

"... What are you talking about?" He asked me. It was odd. That glare seemed to be his natural expression, but I felt nothing from it. He wasn't angry, annoyed and anything. It was a neutral feeling, not one way or another.

"C'mon, don't you remember? I'd like to think I was more memorable than that," I whine, just a tad. But it was time to be serious. This was, after all, what I came here for. So I steeled my eyes and met his gaze head on. "I promised, didn't I?" I dug Satanael from my pocket and looked at it. "I promised that once you could move again, I'd allow my life be made forfeit if you so chose." I then pressed the loaded mini-pistol onto the side of my temple and primed it to fire and finger on the trigger. I smiled calmly. "So, how about it?"

"Oi," I head Genzo exclaim from the sidelines, but I ignore him. I'd wave him off, but my hand was preoccupied with the gun it was holding. I also noted some mutes whispering amongst the Fishmen, whom I also ignore in favor of the one in front of me.

Arlong looked at me, really looked at me. He must've been surprised I was going through with what I'd promised, much less doing it so calmly.

"... Why are you doing this?" He asked.

"Going to need to be a tad more specific, buddy," I say. I nudge the gun against my head a little. "But if you mean this, well, I am a man of my word when I'm not lying. And while I lack honor, I most certainly have pride."

"Why?" Arlong asks again. "Why keep such a promise to your enemy? A Fishman?"

"A living being whose personal boundaries I've invaded without consent," I correct him. "Your race, pardon the phrasing, is insignificant in this situation. This is a guy owning up for crossing some lines he shouldn't have crossed, no matter what came out of it. This is me making my peace with myself."

I allow my eyes to show some melancholy.

"I'm not that familiar with how things work here," I admit. "But let's just say that I identify with the plight of your people."

He seemed to doubt my words. "How is that? How could you possibly understand the strife my people have gone through?"

I let myself crack a small, sympathetic smile. "Because I am different, like you, though to a lesser extent," I explain, reminiscing of the past. "I'm certain you must've noticed. How feminine I look, I mean. I've always had these features, but they only became prominent the older I got.

"At first it made me miserable. I wasn't masculine in appearance, so that brought negative attention towards me. I was mocked and chided for not being what I was supposed to be. I wasn't masculine in appearance in the slightest. The only masculine trait I could claim to was my baritone. I endured it, most of the time. But no one is infallible when placed under such social pressure."

I frowned sadly as I made myself remember those time. Especially... "I made some bad decisions. I failed to notice though and did many things I've come to deeply regret in order to affirm my place in the world. That I was a man, despite what was said behind my back and to my face. I was desperate to fit in, to be what I was told I was supposed to be."

Then I smiled faintly. "But that changed when I finally realized how many mistakes I was making. Just how low I'd fallen because of words out of the mouths of idiot children, whose opinions shouldn't even matter to me. Their words shouldn't make me decide who I was. So I woved to change that.

"Ever since, instead of wallowing in my self-loathing about my appearance, I began to embrace it. I started to dress in a more feminine manner to make myself feel less out of place. To make myself as pretty as I could, as I had been called such in mocking. And the bullying did cease. Turns out it's hard to give hell to someone you find physically attractive," I let out a small laugh. I'd shut my eyes a while back, letting the memories flow free.

"It was then that I stopped feeling ashamed of what I was. It was then that I started to finally feel proud of what I was. This is the body I was given at birth, so I would embrace it in every regard. The world saw me as feminine? Well, then I'd be the cutest and the prettiest I could possibly be!"

I opened my eyes, looking straight at Arlong, meeting his eyes with my own. I had his full attention, and even the whispers had gone quiet.

"My circumstance is different from yours, I'll admit. But it is similar enough that I can understand, sympathize even. Being hated because you're different... I know full well that is like. And I know the things it can lead you to do," I said solemnly, but quickly got over that. "And I also know that the path you chose to walk is the wrong one. I embraced my nature, what was said to me because it was all about me. A personal problem. You can't do that. Not when your entire race is under scrutiny. Embracing what is said of your kind will only bring further hurt to them."

Arlong broke eye contact, looking away in what I deduced to be shame. So he really had been thinking about my words? I couldn't help but smile a bit.

"But what I do know is that it's never too late to try again," I continue. "I made horrible mistakes before I became aware of the missteps I'd taken. I could say an excuse, that I was just a stupid child, but that wouldn't change that those mistakes were mine. Ever since then, I strived to be better. I tried my hardest. I still do."

His eyes widened a bit at the call-back to what I'd said to him previously. About the nature of 'try'. It was good that those words sank in, considering what they meant to me.

But I was getting off track. "But that aside, I am still waiting here," I remark. "My life is in your hands. A word from you, and I'll pay for my transgressions. I need an answer, you know." And then I just waited.

I waited for what seemed like several minutes, the deadly end of a weapon held by my skull and ready to take my life. I was a proud guy, perhaps excessively so. I knew that I'd shoot if Arlong told me to. I'd promised, after all. And a true promise is something only scum unworthy of living decide to break. I was better than that.

Arlong wasn't answering. His face betrayed nothing and gave no inclination of what was going on in his mind. I wasn't a mind reader, I just read people really well. But this time that talent gave me nothing to work with.

So I just waited, as long as I needed to. Until...

"... Forget it," Arlong spoke, probably the softest his voice could manage. I smile a bit and place my gun back into my pocket. "There wouldn't be a point."

"Indeed," I agree. I eye at me sake bottle, untouched for too long and gulp half of it down. I gasp in contentment, before returning my attention to Arlong. "I'd imagine you and your lot will be given to the Marines. Probably end up locked up for the rest of your lives, if anything I hear about the marines is accurate."

I'd read some new additions to The Codex. The most interesting was a massive underwater prison known as Impel Down. It sounded like a literal hell for criminals of all sorts, different layers for worse offenders and all. Extreme as it was, some truly deserved it. Pirates are infamous for a reason, after all.

Anyway, I took his silence as an affirmation that I was correct. I let some amusement enter my voice as I spoke up. "How'd you like an alternative?" That got his attention, though I sensed doubt. "You obviously care for your people. I can respect that devotion when it's not misconstrued into something stupidly destructive. It'd be a shame for that to go to waste, now that you're actually thinking."

"... What else is there to do? Nothing," Arlong scoffed. "It's too late for that. There's nothing to be done. The marines will apprehend us and we'll rot in Impel Down until we die. That's what happens to pirates like us."

"Or," say, holding up a finger, "you can take a new path when one presents itself. All it requires is a leap of faith." I love being enigmatic for no reason. I turn to Genzo briefly. "Hey, Mr. Village Leader! I need to run something by you. Well, I say that, but it's more like I'm just giving forewarning."

He frowns. Maybe. It's hard to tell. "And what is that?"

"Oh, I'm letting some Fishmen free!" I say with a smile. I got exactly the reaction I was expecting.

"WHAT?! Are you crazy?" Genzo shouted. "You'd let them go after everything they've done? I won't allow it!"

"Good thing I didn't ask for your permission," I quip, taking my time standing up with my crutch and turning to face him. Time to be serious again. "Mr. Genzo, I need some trust here. I know what I'm doing." I made my voice as weighty as I could, but I saw he clearly didn't agree with me. But he also didn't say anything, so I took that as temporary permission to proceed, for now.

So I turn to my bigger audience. "Alright then," I shout at the bound pirates, standing as tall and straight as I could, "listen up, because it is your night under the luckiest of stars! I'm going to allow some of you to go free. HOWEVER!" I point at them collectively. "I will not choose who gets to walk. One of you will choose which of your own deserves a second chance some of you certainly don't deserve! Any takers?"

My proclamation got them whispering amongst themselves, some doubtful of my words, some hope that I meant it, some even outright trying to get themselves chosen. But that wasn't my intention with this. As they spent time chattering, I took my time observing them on an individual basis. And quickly I found one that got my attention. A familiar face.

It was the brown Fishman with a horn-like protrusion on their head that was part of my and Zoro's capture. And unlike the rest, he was quiet, head hanging low. When I started my approach and walked through most of them, the chattering quieted down. I stopped when I stood over the brown Fishman.

"Why are you silent, unlike the rest of your crew?" I ask, drawing his attention. He recognizes me, clearly, from before. "The rest discuss my proposal, but you do not participate. What reason do you have?"

The Fishman looked at me before lowering his gaze again. I recognized the look he wore. It was that of shame. "... after what... we did here," He starts, uncertain. "These humans... they still treated out injuries. Even fed us, despite what we'd done. We don't... I don't think we deserve to go free."

I raise a brow, even as the surrounding Fishmen started making a ruckus about what this one had just said. "Your name," I ask, "what is it?"

My question catches him off guard. "Uh, Pista."

"Well, Pista. You are most certainly correct. What you've done to these people, the people of this island is unforgivable," I state under no uncertain terms. Within a span of a second, the derringer is in my hands and has fired, silencing everyone in near vicinity.

The ropes fall off of the Fishman name Pista. He looks shocked and confused, almost as much as every other Fishman present. He looked up at me questioningly. I shot him a toothy grin.

"I'd make a joke about my aim being off, but I'm in a good mood," I say. "You are most right, Pista. Your actions are unforgivable. More the reason to start making up for them, am I right? Kehehehe!"

His shock grows as I laugh. "B-but... why?"

"Why? You ask why?" I question with a chuckle and a persistent grin. "You, amongst your peers, are remorseful. You've come to see your doings as what they truly are. Who better to consider whom of your comrades are worthy of one more chance than someone who knows them? I don't think there is one! Humans aren't all so bad, as you've started to realize, despite the rotten ones out there that make even me sick to my stomach. So find those who carry this change of perspective within them! These are the ones who deserve one more try!"

Pista was quiet, face betraying inspiration drawn from my words. An inspiration to try.

"Stop dawdling around, Pista!" A Fishman with large lips that protruded from his face shouting. Pista visibly flinched at the words. "You're free! Beat up that human and untie the rest of us!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I ask opinions from the bean council?" I say to Fish-Lips' direction, just a smidge of condescension in my tone. "Though I suppose I now know at least one who is going to stay right where they are. But that is not my choice," I look at Pista, "is it?"

The poor Fishman looked hesitant to talk back or disobey. Must've been one of Arlong three higher officers that I'd heard about. Still, in a show of faith, I completely turned my back to Pista, facing the one who I think was called... Chew? Whatever.

"I'm afraid your authority ended the moment your Captain was defeated and you were captured. You are no longer in any position to give orders to this crew."

"No," a strong voice spoke up, "he's not."

Even I blinked in surprise, not expecting him to comment on it.

"I'm still the captain, or have you forgotten that, Chew?" Arlong said, looking about as menacing as he always does. I don't think he had an off-switch for that.

"N-of course not, Arlong-san!" Fish-lips. "You're the captain of the Arlong Pirates! You give the order! Our freedom is right there!"

For some reason, that didn't seem to please him. A certain intensity was building up within him. It was odd to witness, and I couldn't really describe it. Like he was making up his mind about something. "Pista!"

"Y-yes, Arlong-san?" Pista flinched, standing up in a hurry.

"... Do as you see fit," he said. Then he took a deep breath before saying something that caught even me off, guard. "As of this moment, the Arlong Pirates no longer exist!"

Several differing ranges of "What?" and "WHAT?!" were thrown about, a more subdued "What." coming from Genzo and me.

"What are you saying, Arlong-san?!" Asked a particularly well-built Fishman who resembled a stingray somewhat.

"Exactly what I meant, Kuroobi. I'm disbanding the Arlong Pirates," Arlong explained, oddly calm. Almost... content? So hard to tell. "Choose who you want to free, Pista, and leave the rest of us to rot. And do it as a proud member of the Fishman race, not as a pirate!"

... By my ancestors, I knew I got him to think with my lecture, but damn! This was some hardcore development to have in a day! Am I hallucinating? If I didn't know any better I'd blame the sake. Was I just that good back then?

...

Screw it; I'm a genius of words!

Without any more than a proud grin- partially at myself – I shot Genzo a look, mouthing 'Trust is a two-way street'. While he showed signs of hesitance, he nodded in response. Seems like I'd won him over for this, for better or for worse. Welp, time to shoulder that responsibility later!

Leaving Pista to gape at Arlong's statement and to gather his jaw from the ground, I moved over to the larger saw shark Fishman and casually took a seat to his left. Standing was getting a bit uncomfortable and draining, what with my injuries and all. I was dealing with the pain like a champ though.

"That was a surprise," I remark conversationally, tucking my feet comfortably beneath my dress. "One hundred percent didn't see that one coming."

"..." A first all I got was silent dirt watching. I was starting contemplating if jabbing him with my crutch was a great idea when Arlong spoke up. "What you said back then... It got me thinking..."

"As was the point," I quip, taking a quick drink. I was never a strong advocate of sake, but I was getting around to it.

"What was I doing?" Arlong asks, though I note it's rhetorical so I let him continue. "Never did it even cross my mind... How what I did could've..." He seemed to have trouble finding the words he needed. He seemed upset and angry at himself. "To sully them in such a way... I'm a disgrace to all fishmen!"

I raised a brow. "Well, I can't really be a judge of that," I say, sloshing my bottle to get an idea of how full it is. It only has about a quarter left. "It's as they say though: Hindsight is twenty-twenty. It's only after that the mistakes of the past become all the more clear."

"... The more I thought about everything... I remembered his last request. I didn't understand- couldn't understand why he'd ask something like that of us," Arlong said, sounding a tad somber. "It's so shameful... I'd never even stopped to think of his reasons."

"You mean your captains last moment?" I ask, gaining his attention.

"How do you-"

"I have a 'magic' know-it-all book, remember?" I held up The Codex. "I carry it on my... harness..." I look down, recalling that I wasn't wearing it. I stare at the white book in my hand, which I was absolutely certain I wasn't carrying earlier. "... Where did this come from?" I wasn't bothering to hide my shock.

"... Does it truly know?" Arlong asked. "About Tiger's..."

I shook my head to collect myself. Questions for later. "Yes. It was... quite in-depth about your life story," I say, a bit awkwardly. "Sorry again for intruding in matters that don't belong to me. I was kind of in the moment." I then remember something, a small detail. "Oh, yeah, you don't know about his final wish!"

"Of course I do!" He snapped, somewhat offended. "He asked us to not mention the circumstances of his death to anyone, most of all anyone in Fishman Island. What about it?"

"Well, yes, that is true, but not what he really wanted to achieve," I say, a bit awkward about it. "See, he wasn't that good at expressing the real reason he did that."

Arlong glared at me a little. "And what would that be?"

"Well, the book says," I begin, as the book in my hand opens by itself to the page I was about to mention. "... the book says, his last wishes were that his death not be used as an excuse to continue the circle of hatred between fishmen and humans. Something you quite spectacularly failed at."

He flinched ever so slightly at my words. But this needed to be said, no matter how harsh I had to be.

"Admittedly, his failure to express his wish properly played a part in this," I continue, keeping my eyes on the page, "but that doesn't mean you get off scot free due to miscommunication!"

I let the statement hang in the air for a bit.

"At least, that is what I would say under other circumstances," I say with a small grin. I look at Arlong from the corner of my vision. "Honestly, I've already made you introspect and start noticing what you've gone and fucked up. That's punishment enough as is."

Arlong stares back, this unreadable look on his face. "...Why? Why do you do this?"

"Specifics would be nice, but I'll work with it," I say with minor sarcasm. "Honestly, because my opinion of your people isn't tainted. I have a fresh perspective and bountiful intellect at my disposal. I wish to learn of your people, not hate them. To me, hatred for hatred's sake not only makes no sense but is the pinnacle of stupidity," I explain. I then sigh, a bit sad at my next admission. "Unfortunately, that sort of stupidity is pretty prevalent, even here it seems."

Much to my surprise, Arlong chuckled. It was quiet, but I caught it. He sounded a bit bitter. "So you do this out of the goodness of your heart, is that it?"

"What? No!" I snap. "That's just insulting! Me, do charity? Perish the thought!" I then start to pout. It's all fun, of course, so I couldn't hide a small grin. "I'm simply the type that can't stand ignorance. I had a lesson to teach, and I am nothing if not dedicated to curing stupidity."

Arlong chuckled again, a bit louder this time, though it was still pretty subdued. Then he became oddly sullen. "... Well, I suppose... I ought to thank you, no matter how much I don't want to."

"I'll take it!" I cheer and down the last of my sake. Darn, only one bottle to go. Then I'll have to go back and- "Oh, snap!"

"Hm?" Arlong regards me.

"I almost forgot why I came here, aside from the promise thing," I mutter and turn to fully face Arlong. "Say, what do you intend to do?"

"What is there to do?" Arlong said. "The marines will arrive and it's Impel Down for us. At least Pista and some of them will not have to suffer through that, but some of us aren't deserving of it."

Well, I can see why he'd think that. I looked over, to where Pista was choosing some prisoners to free, while fully ignoring some, most notably the two lieutenants, Chew and Kuroobi. I'd figured he'd know his comrades well enough to make good choices, so I placed some trust in him.

Now, as for Arlong, he obviously didn't see himself amongst that number.

"Well, about that..." I start, giving Arlong my undivided attention. "I've got a small proposition for you if you're interested."

He has doubts. I can practically smell it from him. He's suspicious of my motives. "And why or what is that?"

"Oh, you know, reasons" I start, acting blatantly nonchalant. All in good fun.

I regard him with a grin. I felt confident. I was confident. I'd prepared this case ever since the idea had come to me.

"Arlong, how about giving humans one more shot?"

The rest of the night I spent in a conversation with Arlong. It was surprisingly civil all the way through.

-o~O-O~o-

Pista chose a few fishmen to be allowed free, and I had faith in his judgment. The more irate members were left as is, quite a few of them. Unexpectedly, Pista and two other fishmen opted to not scatter like the rest, instead of asking Genzo if they could stay on Cocomi Island, to make up for their deeds. After some grilling about it, the older man relented and allowed them to stay, but made it very clear that he was keeping an eye on them.

I wished good luck on those three. They chose to make amends, so the rest was up to them.

When Genzo told the rest of the villagers about the deal I'd made with Arlong, naturally, there was some uproar, especially at the three remaining unbound fishmen. I wasn't present for it, opting to hide and run from responsibility. But from what I gathered, Pista and two others, Mishima and Nagi, had gotten on their knees and begged for a chance to show how sincere they were. It apparently worked to a degree, because of the people, while still wary, were willing to give them a shot after some words from Genzo.

I think he may have paraphrased some of my circle of hatred speech.

The remaining two days were spent partying, to which I partook in with gusto. Which is to say, I drank a lot. I've never been so happy to just knock back alcohol, though at times I needed some distance from the crowds and just drink in peace. Zoro sometimes joined me and we'd talk at times. It was always pretty short and concise. Mostly about how great alcohol was. I'd say the air between us is pretty much clear now.

That being said...

Before it got to the point of me avoiding the issue on the premise that I didn't want to right now, I finally talked to Sanji. I will admit, I was preparing to dodge a kick to the face. And unlike before Long-nose's face wasn't coming to my rescue.

Much to my pleasant surprise, however, it went fairly well. Sanji was obviously, and quite understandably, cross with me, but after I got to talking about it, he slowly started to cool off. He was obviously still pretty salty about the whole thing, but he'd said that after what I'd done with Arlong, he couldn't be that mad at me anymore.

Then I teased him by acting all cute and girly, causing him to flip his shit and take back everything he said and to "kick the pretty off of my beautiful face". Then he got horrified and depressed at what he'd just admitted out loud.

I laughed. Hard not to. Sanji was one hilariously expressive character, he was.

I also spent some time giving Johny and Yosaku some fashion advice on how to improve their look. Told them to get outfits that matched. They didn't need to look identical, but it would show off their team dynamic. They listened intently to their Banchou speak, as they should. Seriously, their clothes...

At least I finally requested my stuff back and was soon wearing the harness again. Fortunately, it didn't hinder my sling or arm cast at all. Feeling efficiently armed, I felt more at ease from that point on.

The rest is pretty much just drinking and making merry. The final thing of note is that I spoke to Luffy. I needed to give him my answer, after all.

-o~O-O~o-

"Where is she?" Usopp wondered out loud. Him, Zoro, Sanji, and Luffy were hanging out on board the Going Merry, waiting for Nami to show up. But the navigator was running late. Very late.

"You sure she's coming?" Zoro asked from his own spot beside a railing.

"Nami is coming," Luffy stated in the usual way he did. Like it was an ironclad fact that couldn't be changed.

"Of course she is," Sanji put in his thoughts on the matter. "Nami-chan would never ditch us so callously."

"Blatant favoritism aside, yeah. She's definitely coming."

"Well, I suppose so," Usopp muttered to himself. Honestly, after all, they'd done for her it would be a shock if Nami wasn't coming with them. After all- "Wait a minute!"

Usopp jumped away and stared at the empty space to his left. Or rather, the spot to his left he thought was empty. He was met with a lackadaisical wave and an unreadable, almost white face.

"Yo!" Abel greeted unenthusiastically.

"Hi, Abel!" Luffy greets the man.

"What are you doing here?!" Usopp yelled out in surprise, pointing an accusing finger at the pale cross-dresser.

"Tone the volume down a notch, 'kay?" Abel complained. "Just to be clear, I stepped on the same moment you did."

"Really? Didn't see you anywhere," Zoro pointed out.

"Good. Would be disappointed in me if you had," Abel said, pride evident in the way he stood. "And if you think that is impressive, check that out?" He pointed behind him, where Usopp only now noticed a large brown sack.

"How'd I miss that?" Usopp wondered, thinking such a large object impossible to _not_ notice. Then something clicked and he turned to look at the swordsman and the captain. "Wait, why aren't you more surprised he's here!?"

"... Really?" is all Zoro says on the matter.

"Silly Usopp," Luffy grins widely.

"What? What'd I miss?" Usopp asks, confused.

"Well, for one you seem to forget you are still my only ride out of here," Abel points out.

"Oh, right..." Usopp mumbles, a little ashamed he'd forgotten that. But how could you blame him, after the last few days?

"But that's not quite it, either," Abel continues, an enigmatic smile on his lips. "Oh, and there is the lady of the hour!"

They all turn towards the pier, at the end of which Nami stands, behind the crowd of villagers who'd come to see them off.

"SET SAIL!" Nami shouted, loud and clear.

"What's that woman up to now?" Zoro wondered.

"You heard Nami! Everyone, we're setting sail!" Luffy ordered with a large smile, taking charge as captain. And with only the slightest beat every member of the crew did their part. Anchor raised and sails unfurled.

Usopp had just one gripe with it all.

"Hey, why are you just standing around?" He asked, sounding a mite annoyed at the feminine man sitting on the ship's railing, not a care in the world. Just sort of watching them.

"Eh," He shrugged with a crooked grin. "I don't know boat stuff."

"That's not an excuse!" Usopp reprimanded the man, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears, as Abel waved his injured limbs to make it a moot point, all the while wearing a smug look on his face.

Soon the Going Merry was slowly drifting away from the pier, gaining distance. Nami still stood where she had been before. Then she moved, darting forward and moving nimbly past the gathered villagers with precision, not letting them hinder her in any way. Then at the end of the pier, she took a massive leap, landing onto the Merry with grace few could achieve.

Then she lifted her shirt and wallets dropped out of it. Lots and lots of wallets. The wallets of the villagers, if the shouts of outrage were a sign.

Abel whistled. "Need to watch my back with that one."

Nami smiled at the compliment, turning back to wave goodbye to her home and friends, who responded in kind despite the blatant thievery that had just taken place. It was heartening to watch.

But, as with many things, certain things just cannot last.

"Hey, Nami! Could you come over for a sec?" Abel called to the navigator.

"Yeah, sure," Nami responded, walking to Abel. "What's the-" Everyone could only stare in mild shock when Abel slapped Nami across the cheek with his good hand. A look of confusion and outrage flashed on Nami's features. "Why you-" She was interrupted when the same hand came back and backhanded her other cheek.

Sanji, in particular, was frothing from fury but didn't get a chance to vocalize it.

"That is for braining me and giving me a concussion back at the Baratie," Abel explained in a level tone of voice, eyes hardened and narrow. "As well as for stealing my stuff and being a general pain in my ass. I also blame my current condition largely- though not entirely -on you."

Nami flinched at the accusation, not really able to think of a way to counter them. He was right, his involvement was largely her fault. This whole mess had been her fault.

"And this," Abel said, interrupting the imminent pity party by pulling her into a one-armed hug, forcing her head to rest on his chest, "is for doing it for the right reasons. Never let it be said that I don't take circumstance into account when assessing damages."

Nami felt a lot of things at that moment. The casual tone he said things, yet carried things out with a certain strictness. The way he patted her head softly. It all was so... nostalgic. He then quickly jumped away.

"Woah, what did I do now?" He asked. It took a bit for Nami to realize she was crying a little.

"You damn bastard! How dare you make Nami-san cry?!" Sanji raged at the pale cross-dresser.

" _Please let us girls handle this, Sanji dear~_ ," Abel replied in his girl's voice, adding a flirty wink at the cook's direction. The reaction was immediate.

"Of course, Abel- **SwHraN!** " Sanji started off in his usual weak-to-women self, but his voice distorted in an inhuman way as his face fought against his base instincts. Not a moment later he was kneeling and hitting the deck with a tightly closed fist. "Why?! What is happening to me?! I'm into women, not men who dress like women!"

"Suck it up, you ninny!" Abel said and cackled. "You've been struck by the Curse of the Dark Angel! Kehehehe!"

As Sanji let loose a melodramatic "NOOOOOOOOO!" into the heavens, Nami couldn't help but start laughing at the absolute nonsense happening before her. And she wasn't alone, Luffy and Usopp had joined in laughing at the cook's misery. Zoro only laughed on the inside.

"You good now?" Name heard Abel ask.

"Yeah, sorry about that," She replied, wiping the tears from her eyes. "It's just, you reminded me of my mother for a second there."

"Wow, how sad was your childhood?" He asked unsympathetically, receiving a glare from the navigator. He held his hands(well, the working one). "Woah, take a joke! I am _not_ parent material, is all."

He then turned serious. Nami was always shocked how quickly he could change his apparent mood. "But now I think I've delayed enough. Want me to handle it, Luffy?" He grinned crookedly. "Or should I say, Captain?"

Every member of the crew, sans Luffy, reeled back at the implication. "Eh?"

"Sure, go for it!" Luffy cheered.

"Normally I'd make some show of it, but in my condition," he knocked on his hard cast, "yeah, no. Anyway, since you got a cartographer and a navigator out of this venture, I think you can do a bit extra!" He walked over to the railing and leaned back to it. "So I'll have to just announce that from this moment forth I, Cain Abel, will be your chronicler for this voyage!"

The reactions from the crew were pretty mild. Usopp was excited to spend more time with someone he'd come to respect and adore since his fight with Arlong. Sanji was conflicted about it but put on a faint smile. Nami just allowed herself to be glad. Abel wasn't a bad guy.

"So, you couldn't handle it, huh?" Zoro remarked with a shit-eating grin.

"Bite me, Muscle Head!" Abel said and pulled a coin from his dress pocket and flipped it so that it flew overboard and into the sea. "And Nami, you must swear that you will not physically strike me in any capacity."

"What?" The navigator asked on reflex to the strange request.

"Swear. On the name. Of your Mother." Abel enunciated slowly. "It could literally kill me right now. I do not want that."

"Yeesh, fine!" Nami relented. He did have a point though. For all his tough bravado, he was by far the frailest human being Nami has ever even heard of. "I swear on Bellemere's name that I won't hit you. May I ask why though?"

"Because I had conditions for joining and you won't like them," He said quickly, then leaning back, as if expecting something to happen.

"Wait, what?"

...

...

"..." Abel frowned, fished another coin and flipping it overboard.

"... uh, you okay there?" Usopp asked.

"Give it a sec," He said.

...

...

...

Suddenly losing his patience, Abel took hold of his rifle with his good arm and fired into the ocean below. "SIGNAL! THAT WAS THE SIGNAL YOU BASTARD!"

Everyone too confused from the man's behavior, Zoro asked what was on his mind. "Is that gun always loaded?"

"Yes!" Abel replied heatedly. "In case of emergencies, I always keep it pre-" Sea water splashed as something dove out of the ocean at high speeds. "Oh, finally!" Then something slammed onto the deck with a slight tremor.

It is safe to say that everyone had a reaction. Usopp shrieked in fright and hid behind the mast. Sanji grit his teeth and prepared to fight, as did Zoro who drew his blades. Nami's face contorted in mix fear and anger. Only Luffy seemed unshaken through all of this.

And then Abel walked in front of what drew their attention so heavily, holding his good arm wide open, as if showcasing something great in a theatrical fashion.

"Everyone, I am Abel the chronicler," He exclaimed with a quick twirl to the side- fairly impressive for his injuries - and waving his good arm at the large Fishman that stood on the deck of the Going Merry. His smug grin was borderline manic in nature.

To his credit, Arlong didn't look any more enthused by the cross-dresser's antics than anyone else.

"And this is my bodyguard!"

-o~O-O~o-

 _ **And it is official! The Straw Hats get a chronicler and his bodyguard, whenever they want them or not! I had planned to have Arlong start a redemption arc since the beginning, where he learns to not let his hatred color his judgement. This is the first step towards that goal, and what crew to better change your negative worldview than this rag-tag group! I hope I can do something cool with that!**_

 _ **This is a bit late, and lead me to a revelation. I need to change my goarls from one chapter a week to a chapter within two weeks. This once a week deal has been a lot more stressful than I thought, and is distracting me from other matters. So... yeah.**_

 _ **Next stop, Logue Town and then... then we start having fun.**_

 _ **\- Joining Up, C-Hablerie**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Chapter 9: Guard The Boat!**_

One of these days I will learn my lesson. One of these days I will have to admit that needling people for laughs is not good for my continued well-being. One of these days my flagrant need to piss people off for my own amusement will get me killed.

Sad as it is to say, much to the chagrin of many unnamed individuals, I live another day. Hence why I was chilling and healing from my moment of absolute glory.

"Life is good," I tell myself, hanging partially over the railing of the Going Merry, lying to myself.

Sunlight kissed my pale face, though if it had a thing to say about it I'd wage it tried to bite. Well, screw you, I don't burn easily! At all, really, so HAH! I'll just lay in here, bask in these warm rays... by myself... alone.

...

Okay. Yeah, I am not a popular person right now. My "conscription" of Arlong to serve as my personal bodyguard did not fly that well with the rest of the crew. Turns out that palling up with the guy personally responsible for literally all of our problems at Cocoyasi Island, not to mention how personal this everything was for Nami... Yeah, not the most popular way to go.

The only reason I wasn't beat up on the spot was Luffy standing by my choice, as he was... literally the only person I had informed of my plan for the Fishman if the metaphorical dice landed right. In retrospect, maybe I should've at least hinted at what I was scheming at to the others. Then at least they'd only be pre-emptively mad at me.

Still, Zoro and Sanji were grudgingly letting it go, on the account of me having Luffy's trust and approval. Didn't make me their favorite by any means, and I think all that air I cleared with Zoro is all smoggy again. So that effort was wasted. Usopp(I figure if I'm going to stick around I might as well refer to the kid by name) was a lot more understanding and was willing to hear my reasoning and even agreed with it to an extent. I just might start to think fondly of him.

Naturally, this left Nami to be absolutely furious with me. The second she got over the shock of seeing her tormentor of ten years on the ship, unbound and armed, she immediately went to try to break her promise to not hit me. If Luffy hadn't restrained her, I think she would've taken it a bit further than just knocking me over the head.

At the time I was... honestly a bit remorseful at how callous I had been, messing with her like that. I had poured salt and vinegar into a wound that had barely started healing. If I was any less keen on my continued survival, I'd have let her hit me.

That's right. For once I felt like an asshole on my own accord instead of being guilted into it.

I did set out to smooth it over, as was my responsibility. After letting Luffy affirm my choice and that the two of us(but mostly just me) had planned this and the rest were... somewhat agreeable, I smacked Arlong on the arm and wordlessly reminded him to not fuck this up for either of us. Then came the part where I calmed Nami down so that she wouldn't try to maybe murder me and guided her inside the cabin so that we could talk in private.

It spoke to my pride as an actor of considerable talent that I felt like an absolute moron when it came to me that her calming down bit _might_ have been an act.

And so I reap what I sow.

Fucking figures, right?

-o~O-O~o-

 _-A day before-_

 _"Nami," I start, trying to sound as calm as I possibly could, "please put the chair down and let's-" I dodged to the side, managing to avoid a wooden stool from smacking me in the face. "Not what I meant!"_

 _"Stand still!" The irate navigator seethed as I backed away, away from her reach. She'd picked up another chair into her hands and was holding it in a way I was not a fan of. Couldn't tell if she intended to throw it at me or try to take a swing at me with it._

 _Both options were equally undesirable._

 _"I'm sorry, but I place being alive higher than accepting potentially lethal bludgeoning," I say, not quite managing to_ not _snark at the moment._

 _Nami, predictably, snarled and bared her teeth in anger, taking a step towards my wounded form._

 _"Wait, wait, wait!" I hastily raise my good arm defensively, though it doesn't allow me to move without the help of the crutch. I then spoke as firmly as I could while showing absolutely no signs of panic or fear. "Nami, stop! Take a breath and calm down! I'm wounded and have the same physical resistance to harm as a dry leaf. If you attack me like that I_ will _seriously die!"_

 _Yeah. Not scared at all._

 _"What of it?" Nami growled, clearly not listening to reason. Damnit! On the plus side, she was not advancing either. I needed to calm her down, stat!_

 _"Nami, you promised," I try to remind her. "You promised not to hit me in any way. On the name of your mother no less."_

 _"Fuck my mother!" She yelled instead of doing any rational thinking._

 _"I would! She sounds like a wonderful woman!"_

 _..._

 _I have no excuse. That just slipped out. As such I couldn't blame anyone but myself when a wooden chair hit me in the chest. This led to a chain of hurt. My breath was forced out of me by the impact to my chest, which then sent me stumbling back where I slammed the back of my head into the wall. I then did a dizzy pirouette and dropped like a sack of potatoes. On my back. On top of the chair that had led to this in the first place. My back arched painfully before I bounced off of the chair._

 _And so I ended up lying on my back. I think my ribcage just bruised a little. And the world is spinning and blurring. And my head hurts. A lot. As does my back. My god, does my back hurt..._

 _"Hnnnnnghhhh..." I try to vocalize my excruciating pain but instead manage a weak and pitiful, incomprehensible whine._

 _"Oh my God!" I hear hurried steps and suddenly I see a blurry shape above. And a lot of orange. "Are you- I didn't mean to-"_

 _"Oh... so now you... choose to... be sensible... aaaaaaaaah..." I muttered weakly, barely able to gather the breath to speak. I think my voice was very squeaky. I'd find that funny, but I really couldn' because of the agony._

-o~O-O~o-

And then I fainted. My concussion had come back with a vengeance and decided that being conscious is just not hip enough. Nami had freaked out something fierce and that alerted the others that something was wrong. I didn't die, obviously, but from what I gather, for a moment she thought I did.

When I came to a few hours later, I tried approaching Nami again but she kept avoiding me. She must've felt guilty for her irrational actions and the pain she caused me on top of everything else.

Just thinking back to that cluster fuck hurt. My back and rib cage felt sore even now and added to my discomfort. But that wasn't even the worst part. Oh no.

Feeling a moment coming I leaned further over the edge of the railing and hurled into the sea. The combination of swaying waves and concussion induced vertigo was absolutely dedicated to making my every waking moment a constant state of sea sickness.

Fuck my life.

"When did being a nice guy become so hard?" I ask, wiping my mouth with my sleeve, surprisingly not being rhetorical. The question was aimed at the guy sharpening his weirdly shaped sword two feet from my puking spot. Unfortunately, Arlong wasn't in a conversational mood, so I got nothing.

But seriously, why is being nice the hardest thing in the world? I mean, I did trick people all the time and scam my way into their hearts to get booze off of them for free, but being a good guy shouldn't be that complicated. Just do and say nice things and try not to be offensive.

So why am I having such a hard time with it?!

"Life fucking sucks," I groan, feeling another one coming and let it fly into the deep blue below. "... Whyyyyyyyy?"

"Hmm," Arlong scoffs dismissively at me anguish, the dick.

He and I had spent most of our time in close proximity. I was the only one willing to. Despite coming to accept Arlong's presence, most of them were still not okay with it. The others were either distrusting(Zoro, Sanji) or scared(Usopp). Luffy had been nice enough, is much more open minded and had even tried chatting with Arlong. Tried being a key word, as Arlong was as uncomfortable with this as the rest were with him.

Nami had avoided Arlong at all costs, to an even greater extent than with me. That particular _thing_ would take even more time to smooth over than the rest of this. Building bridges is a long and arduous process, both in real life and social sense.

It also didn't help that Arlong wasn't a member of the crew. He didn't get orders from Luffy. He got those from me, though I doubt he'd follow me on anything unless he felt like it.

I shoot the indifferent Fishman a deadpan glare. "I suffer for you. Praise me!"

"Tch," he scoffs, working on his odd saw-sword-thing. "You brought this on yourself."

"Yes. Because of you," I remark with a slight growl. "I'm going way out of my way to help you out, the least I could get is a thank- HGRP!" My cheeks bulge and I turn to release another load. By now it was mostly just bile, and it was disgusting.

A part of me is starting to regret standing by Arlong. He's a massive gamble, sure. But I don't gamble unless the prize is worth the risks. To have someone like Arlong to watch my back is invaluable for my safety. I just needed to raise his opinion on humans in general, and if I can manage that then I get what I want and do some good in the process.

Conniving? Calculated? Deceptive? Selfish? Yes, but all those things are acceptable with the right intent. My aims are self-serving, true, but they also stand to help someone else should I succeed. And that's the point. To not do it just for myself.

If only Arlong was easier to work with. Just convincing him to give this a shot took hours. And now I had to work to keep him here.

I sigh at the difficult task I set up for myself.

"... Thank you." I blink at the unexpected words from Arlong and stare at the Fishman. His face, as menacing as usual, had softened up a bit. It's really hard to notice unless you can read people as well as I can. It's not quite remorse, but...

"Eh, that'll do," I admit with a slight grin.

It'll be a tough project I've taken on me, but I'll work through it, I'm sure. Hell, maybe one day we'll even be friends.

Arly and Abel, best pals for life!

I start cracking up at my own mental images, much to Arlong's mild confusion. The jittery movements of my lungs are aching my ribs a bit, but I don't care.

Then I puked again and the moment was ruined.

God, if you are real, make this stop! I have stuff to do!

-o~O-O~o-

Two days! It took two days for my nausea to go away! I could have spent those two days doing something productive, like winning the rest of the guys over or having an overdue conversation with Nami. But no, I puked a lot! God is not real, and even if he was, he's a shit!

At least now I know that Sanji really doesn't like wasting food because the amount of times he nearly had an ulcer at the constant expulsion of my meals. I can't even be mad at him, it pissed me off too and we bonded on how stupid this whole thing was. Just a little. I don't think he likes me as much as he does his best to tolerate me.

Arlong, and by extension me since I am always around the guy, are still given a wide berth.

On the bright side, now I that I could finally walk around unaided and not risk expelling my guts through my stomach, I did what was first on my laundry list of things to do.

Nami and I needed to finish that talk. Without all the maiming this time.

Problem was that she was still avoiding me. So that's a bust.

Is what I would say if I didn't know one place where she has to be in at least a few times. You see, Nami has these two tangerine trees she took as a reminder of her home, which she tends to and doesn't let anyone touch. Ergo, she will be there at least a few points of a day.

Which is why I was on the upper rear deck where the trees were planted, using Faint to suppress my presence and just letting my ass grow numb on the wooden floor I sat on. The plan was to jump Nami when she came to water them and not let her weasel her way out of it. Fuck her guilt or whatever, this is happening! We'd be alone and, if worst came to be, I could jump into the sea to escape certain death. An all around perfect plan.

Is what I would want to say since I've sat on my ass for... shit, I don't have a clock and my sense of time is completely shot. Maybe... four hours? Anyway, it felt like forever. And letting my ass numb on the upper deck, staring at two tangerine trees as if they were of any interest to me was really starting to grind me the wrong way.

I blame Nami for making me go through this. And I am being extremely generous and forgiving, I think.

Just as I am starting to lose the battle against boredom I hear footsteps coming closer. Having closed my eyes and focusing solely on my hearing to maintain Faint, I could only confidently assume that was who I was looking for. I waited a couple of moments, tracking the footsteps until they stopped by the trees, at which point I opened myself to sight.

I immediately spot her, holding a watering can. She won't escape now. I slowly and silently get up and walk right behind her. Despite my crutch making it less than ideal, I remain unnoticed.

"We're talking," I state clearly, accepting no arguments. The moment is ruined as I tilt my head back as much as it could to avoid a watering can to the face.

"A-Abel?!" Nami stutters in shock, likely at me pulling a Batman on her. Or maybe because she almost brained me. _Again_.

"... I really need to stop messing with people for funsies," I remark under my breath, hopefully imprinting the advice to memory. I straighten and cough into my fist to regain my composure. I refuse to look ridiculous for this. "You. Me. Talk. Now."

She tries to walk past me but I place my good hand firmly on her shoulder and hold her there. "Nami, this is ridiculous! First, you try to kill me and now I apparently carry the plague," I say, keeping my calm and serious tone. "You are not going anywhere until I am done! Understood?"

I can't see her face. She refuses to face me, but she isn't pulling herself out of my grasp- which she could easily do -either. I take it as my chance and start.

"I know you're upset with me. For good reason, mind you," I begin, softening my tone somewhat. "Bringing Arlong here was a gamble, and it is a gamble I will stand by. I understand full well the risks I am taking, and I will hold full accountability. I will not apologize for making this choice, though I admit I should have addressed it in a manner that didn't leave you in the dark, all things considered. For that, I apologize."

I grip her shoulder a bit tighter. Not in an uncomfortable way, just enough to be noticeable. A comforting gesture. "You don't need to accept this. You have all reason to hate Arlong, and it is not my place to tell you not to. That wound is too deep to ignore. I won't ask you to trust me. I won't ask you to like me. All I ask is that you leave this to me."

The quiet stretches for a minute, hanging over us like a veil. Nami breaks it. "Why? Just... why?"

Is she listening? That is good. I let out a sigh that carries only a hint of relief. I let go of her shoulder and cross my arms over my chest. Nami doesn't make a run for it.

"Arlong... his past is not mine to divulge," I start. "Let's just say that I'm not doing this just for my own sake. Not quite. But I do identify with what he's been through, to an extent. Fishmen as a whole are not treated that well, from what I gather. And what Arlong is today is partly because of that.

"Now, I don't mean that he wasn't bad, to begin with, I mean, certain factors just helped it along. He has his problems, which remind me of the ones I myself once faced. I suppose I feel some responsibility to help him be better. And he can be better, otherwise, he wouldn't care so much for his species."

I step forward and pass Nami, bracing myself on the railing and just stare out at the waves bobbing up and down the ocean blue. "Everyone can be better. They just have to try. And sometimes all they need is a chance and a guiding hand. Arlong is willing to try, and I am responsible for being his guide."

"I..." Nami starts, but the words seem to get stuck. There is quiet. She's processing. Good. "How can you be so sure? How can you sound so sure? Arlong is a... a monster!"

I let out a chuckle. It's not accidental. The hollowness is a dead giveaway. I slowly turn and look at Nami. She recoils and steps back in instinctive terror, the fight or flight part of her brain going crazy.

"Nami," I say, voice hollow of intent and void of emotion. The effect undoubtedly a nigh-indescribable, eerie contrast to my usual self, "not all men stay the way they are. Some of them are just too far gone to wear a normal face ever again." I raise my hand slowly. Nami grows tenser."Some just wear masks to hide it." My hand edges closer to her face. Her form tightens, locked, paralyzed by fear. My hand hovers closer. Closer. Closer.

Closer...

I then boop her still form on the tip of her nose. She flinches back rather strongly and falls on her butt, gasping for breath she'd been holding. "So yeah. I do know of monsters," I say with a grin, mask back where it belongs.

Nami just sort of stares at me for a second, making up her mind on how to feel about what just happened no doubt. She eventually sighs and shakes her head. "You are such a dick," she says. She sounds more amused than upset.

I merely give her a thumbs-up in reply, along with a wily grin. I reach out with my hand to help her up, though pulling her proves to be a bit tough in my condition. Still, she stands before me, arms crossed in contemplation.

"... Okay. I'll let you deal with... him," Nami relents. She still seems to hold doubts. "Doesn't mean I forgive you, but... well..." She stops, looking a bit upset. This time not with me. "... I'm sorry. For... earlier when I... you know?"

"Say no more," I accept her apology with a nonchalant wave. "I did have it coming. After all, I am Lord Jerkface, Senechal of the Douchebag Dominion."

Nami laughs softly at that. What a relief! I'm basically in the clear now.

"You're weird."

I just wink at the young thief and start walking off with a lackluster wave. "Welp, I'll leave you to your trees, you dirty hippie. Sayonara!"

I hear a faint chuckle before I'm out of range. All in all, this had gone surprisingly well. I only almost died. Because I am an asshole.

 _'Mental note: WORK ON THAT, ASAP!'_ I scream into the internal void, hoping it engraves itself on the metaphorical walls. My habits are really starting to bite me recently. Better try to nip that in the bud as fast as I can.

...

Shit, I didn't actually think I'd get this far. I was legit prepared to face the merciless ocean blue instead of a pissed of teenager. I had no idea how to proceed from this point on.

Damnit, what am I going to do now?

-o~O-O~o-

"So what is it you actually do?" I ask, somewhat dreading the answer. Partially because of who I was addressing the question for. And partly just out of an instinctive need to dick harder than the most massive dick in the world.

Seriously, when did I start developing such a mean streak?

...

Oh yeah. High school.

Never mind then.

"And don't answer: I'm the Captain, OR that you shoot things," I add with slight aggression lacing my tongue. "I'll legit shove my rifle up your ass and shoot Hellfire up there it if you do. I want talents outside of your position or bravado."

"Sheesh, okay! What's got you so fired up?" Usopp asks me, only slightly terrified of me. He brings up a good point.

"None of your beeswax," I respond snappily. "Answer the question!"

...By the Ancestors, what is going on right now? Even I realize this is a bit too aggressive for me. This has been a good day, what the fuck!

I take a deep breath and slowly let it flow out. I look at the faintly rattled sniper. "Sorry. I just really hate your face," I said before I'd even realized it. Immediately I felt the aggression leaving my shoulders and a wave of levity pass through my being. "Wow, that felt good to say!"

"Oi," Usopp objects with short chop with his open arm. A clear sign that said 'cut it out'.

Naturally, I just took it as an invitation.

"I mean, seriously, your face just makes me super pissed off for some reason," I go on, unperturbed. "Those eyes just look so much like that of a dead fish. That hair is so out of style it makes me happy that I can choose my wigs. And let's not even get started on how your nose brings about images of a pe-"

"Oi quit it!" Usopp dope-slaps me on the top of my head. My vision instantly goes black for a second and I collapse onto the ground like a bag of potatoes. And worst of all, my wig fell off! "Oh, sorry."

"Funny. You don't sound that sorry," I grumble, helping myself up with the aid of my trusty wooden instrument of mobility, stopping only to pick up and adjust my wig back into place. "Well, at least now I feel better." Momentary blackout notwithstanding. I grant the sniper my attention again. "Now, for real, what exactly are your skills, Nosey?"

"Yeah, just act like you never said all that stuff about me why don't you," he deadpanned.

"Not apologizing," I wave off the notion. "Anyway, I know what everyone else does. Nami is a cartographer who knows navigation and can read the weather. Zoro is the muscle, simple. Sanji cooks and is the only one I would willingly call an adult amongst you kids. Luffy... is himself." Yeah, I had time to learn of my new crewmates. Not that it was that interesting or difficult. "But I barely know anything about you. Hell, I only started to mentally call you by name when I decided to join and thought it was mandatory."

"Wow, thanks," Usopp responded dryly, sounding only slightly offended. "Fine. Aside from being a good shot, I also tinker a bit and make my own ammo-"

"Wait," I interrupt, raising an open palm in emphasis. "You tinker? You mean, do small, intricate craft work? Chemistry?"

"A bit, yeah," he says. "I dabble in this and that. Helps to have variety, you know."

... Lightbulb~!

"Uh, why are you smiling like tha-"

"Oh, nothing. Just hitting a gold mine," I mumble, mind running overtime with an influx of ideas. "You see, I myself am quite a proficient chemist and could whip up more advanced stuff with my chemistry set. I also have a miniature forge in my possession. Problem is that I lack a more... fine hand when it comes to crafting or tinkering. I believe that if we were to combine our assets and skills, we could do some interesting things."

His brow furrows, thinking it over. "Well, I admit that sounds great and all, so... maybe?"

"Capital!" I exclaim, patting him on the back strongly. "And in return perhaps I can assist you with finer chemical compounds to improve your own arsenal? I can whip up almost anything, as long as I have the materials. I'll tell you, I get scary creative when it comes to self-preservation."

"... Yeah, that does sound pretty good," Usopp mutters, a smile growing on his face. "Yeah, that could work!"

I extend my hand to the long-nosed boy. "Then this looks like a start of a fine combined effort ... partner?"

Usopp grins widely and takes my hand enthusiastically. "I'll show you what I've got! I'm not all talk you know."

Both of us, Abel and Usopp, grinning like madmen at the prospect of joining our forces to create something fierce. Two weaklings banding together to ensure prolonged survival. A single asshole who wants to abuse the talents of the other party for promises of replenishments to his limited ammo supply, which he desperately needs to survive.

Yup, nothing selfish going on here!

"Heh, we're sailing a partnership," I joke, sounding only a smidge like a maniac. "The S.S. Get Along!"

Silence ensues.

We both crack up and laugh.

And then my ribs hurt and I hurl my lunch on him.

To be fair, it was still funny for _one_ of us.

-o~O-O~o-

"Where are we going again?" I ask Nami as I looked off to the horizon, thinking I may have seen something before concluding that, yes, it was indeed just a faint mirage.

"Please, stop asking the same thing over and over again," she complains. Because that is what she is doing.

"I would if you'd answer with anything else than a damn name. I don't know what Loque Town is! I need context, damnit!"

"Then why didn't you just ask in the first place?!"

"Because it was funny!"

Nami visibly strained to not go for my neck. I will freely admit I'd messed with her for the past... day and a half, partly to ease the tension between us.

Clearly, I need to work on my execution.

I finally let the joke drop, if only for her sanity. "Now, for real this time, explain, please. Not knowing where we are going is driving me crazy. And crazy me gets really weird, let me tell you."

Nami's eye twitched dangerously before she took a deep breath and let all the thoughts of murdering me leave her mind."Fine. Loque Town is a port town on our next stop, Polestar Island. It'll be our last chance to restock and buy supplies before entering the Grand Line."

"Oh. Yeah, that is good to know," I say to myself, rubbing my chin in thought. "I'll have to think up what kind of stuff I'll need. Maybe I should make a list?" I shoot Nami a questioning glance. "Do we have enough money for what we need? A budget?"

"Should have," she said. "My savings weren't stolen by those bastard marines, alongside what I could find from... Arlong's hidden treasure caches, so we have plenty." I noted how she hesitated when referring Arlong by name, and how she looked slightly over me at the Fishman lounging on the deck, minding his own business and paying no one any mind.

Okay, that part is a lie. Arlong had been glaring at everyone for days now, and not in the 'it's-just-how-his-face-is'-kind of way either. I'd wager he felt as uncomfortable here as Nami, Sanji, and, to a lesser extent, Zoro felt about him.

Or maybe he was just bored out of his skull. I knew I could relate.

Still, Nami wasn't hissing his name as if it were poison leaving her mouth so... progress?

I humorously noted Usopp walking out of the cabin and instantly backpedaling back inside when he spotted the big lug.

"Oh, thanks for that, by the way."

I shake my head lightly to clear my head. "Come again?"

Nami was looking at me, dead serious about something. "Nojiko told me, about how she tried to stop the marines. She was about to get shot. Only, an unknown shooter pinned down and injured the marines, giving them a chance to escape unharmed." She grinned, just a bit. "Now, unless Usopp stalked me after I left you idiots by that roadside, that means that someone else was responsible for that. Someone proficient with a gun."

"Yes, I am pretty great!" I say with a toothy grin, standing as straight as I could in my state and puffing out my chest.

Nami deadpans at me. "Zero modesty. Good to know," she grumbles. It doesn't last long, and she smiles softly. "Still, thank you, Abel."

"Oh," I say, ruffling her hair, much to her chagrin, "simply helping a little girl about to have her piggy bank robbed."

Yes, I sound just as condescending as you think I do.

"You realize that I'm not a little girl, right?" Nami grumbles but surprisingly doesn't swat my hand away. So I keep messing with her hair, very lightly.

"Young lady, if I were of an irresponsible sort, I'd be old enough to be your father," I inform her in a what I imagine is a 'lecturing dad'-tone. "So yes, you are a little girl from my perspective. Heck, all of you are children in my eyes." I pause for a moment. "Except Sanji, if I feel like handing out mercy."

"I am not a child!" Nami snapped at me, looking a bit incensed but I could see her holding back a small smile. I grin right back.

"Oh, give it a year or two," I say mock-condescendingly, patting the top of her head as if she was a puppy. "Maybe I'll admit your adulthood, brat! You'll be out of those teenager diapers in no time! Kehehe."

I chuckle a bit, as does Nami, ceasing her pretend anger. I remove my hand from atop her scalp. I take a certain relief from seeing her smile. That is a real smile, not a fake one which she wore before she went turncoat. It was so much easier to notice now that I knew the real thing.

Good for her.

"Thank you," she said quietly, almost a whisper that was for my ears only. I shot her a faint smile and a shrug. I could practically feel her faith in me being restored, a bit at a time

"So you keep telling me," I remark, starting to turn. "Now excuse me, I have a shopping list to make." I pick up the FASHIONABLY ripped hem of my dress. "I really need an updated wardrobe. More options. Ooooh, maybe I could find some wigs! Variety is the spice of life after all!"

I continue to mutter to myself as I hobble off, leaving Nami to her light snickering at my serious dedication to my looks. Nice to know she is impressed! As I hobble past Arlong's sitting position, I suddenly force myself to a stop.

"Hey, Arly!"

"... Don't call me that," the Fishman snarls. "Ever."

"Yeah, whatever," I mumble ignore what he said. "A thought occurred. How old are you?"

His brows furrowed, making his glare more prominent. "... Why?"

"C'mon, humor a guy, Arly!" I coerce the Fishman diplomatically. He bares his teeth and actually growls at me. I swear those deadly puppies shine in sunlight. "Okay, sheesh! Way to be a drama queen. If you tell me, I'll stop and leave you alone for the day."

He eyes me, almost in a predator kind of sense. I was the prey being observed as the wolf- or in this case shark -prepared for an assault. "... 39."

I stare at him. My face is vacant and holds all the expression of a wooden plank. I say the next words with all the whimsy a rock with a teeny, precious carbon heart can possibly muster once in a blue moon.

"Damn, you old, man!" I squee in the most precious, youthful voice I can do.

I admit to being mad at losing my seniority. Yes, I could be petty.

Arlong's eyes pop slightly, a vein pulses on his temple and he starts slowly getting up.

"Going!"

I race the fuck away from there as fast as my crutch allows me.

I didn't trip and fall on my cast, causing great pain to my recovering mess of an arm. That's just ridiculous! What a funny joke! AAAARRGH!

-o~O-O~o-

"... This is a smart move," I conclude, looking around the outcropping of rock that serves well to hide the ship from most unwanted eyes. "That's a first for me."

"I know," Nami remarked, sounding a tad annoyed and fearful of the future. "At least Luffy understands reason every once in a while."

We'd arrived at our premiere destination, Polestar Island, home to Loque Town and the last place for an ancient civil practice we'd get for a while.

Buying shit!

At first, Luffy had intended for us to just enter the docks, like normal people. Only Nami was quick to remind him that this was a PIRATE ship, so going to port was an insanely stupid idea due to the marine presence in the town. She'd instead told us of this nifty hidey-hole a bit off of the town that would serve well as a place to anchor the ship.

"Okay, everyone! Here's the plan," Nami yelled at the rest of the crew, taking charge. "Logue Town will be the last stop before Grand Line. So this will be our last chance to pick up anything we need for the trip. But there's also a marine base in the town, so we'll need to be inconspicuous."

"That means no shouting out that we are pirates or causing a scene," I add, "That means you, Luffy!"

Nami nods at me clarifying it for the... less savvy captain of this group. "Also, because of the marine presence, we'll need to split up and cover our bases. Which is why Abel and I have delegated out some duties."

Nami nods to me, signaling the start of my section. I cough into my fist and clear my throat. That and pull out a paper I'd been hiding.

"Is that the list you made?" Nami asks me.

I spread the paper a little, revealing a six more papers underneath.

"... Right," Nami deadpans.

"Now, first of all, does anyone have anything they need to do? Anything specific I should be aware of?" I ask the guys present.

Zoro speaks up first. "I need to go get new swords."

Ah, yeah. He broke two, didn't he. That's a handicap.

"Fair enough," I admit. "As the main fighter of this posse, you need to be at your best. Right! Zoro can go on his own on personal business. Also," I hand Zoro a paper. "For an increased budget, you also need to find a weapon that fits these specifications."

He takes it and eyes it over. "... Seems reasonable."

"Great! Ask no questions," I say before moving on. "So, anything else?"

I waited a few moments. No one spoke up.

"Alright," I continue. "Sanji is on food duty. You'll go to the markets and see what you can get. Try not to go too overboard, if you can help it. We're looking for provisions that last for a while, not necessarily gourmet."

"Please. I could make gourmet out of leftovers," Sanji remarks. I cannot bring myself to question his claim. The guy is just awesome with food.

"Okay. Fair enough," I concede. "Now, Usopp is being sent off on a more general material hunt."

"Wait, I wasn't informed of this!" Nami shouts my way. "He was supposed to help me!"

"I lied," I shoot back casually. "Usopp and I have been collaborating on shared projects. And for those plans we need materials to work with," I explain, handing Usopp four lists. "Not to mention we also need equipment for any emergency repairs in case the ship gets damaged. It will all be for the collective good of the crew, I assure you."

Usopp takes the papers with a salute. "I won't let you down, chief!"

"Whoo, great. Good on you," I intone off-handedly. The sniper's reverence of me had grown during our planning sessions, as he understood how intelligent and deviously creative I could be. I didn't mind, frankly. I am pretty great.

Nami looks like she wants to say something, but after a while, just sighs and slumps in defeat. "Okay, I guess it's fine. As long as you know what you are doing."

"And I do."

"... Anyway, I know what I am doing," Nami veers back on track with a self-satisfied smile.

"Correct," I cheer mildly and hand the two remaining papers to her. Before Nami can say anything, I shut her up with the most serious face I know how to make. "Nami, these papers specify the kinds of clothing I prefer, as well as any wigs I'd like if you find any. This is serious business, young lady. I am entrusting my fashion choices in your hands, and trust you to not FUCK this up for me! I am placing what is equivalent of my life in your hands. You are the master of my future as the prettiest not-girl ever!"

Silence ensues, everyone staring at me after that tirade. Nami breaks out of it first and rubs the bridge of her nose with a frown. "Why can't you be less dramatic?"

"Hey, this is serious business!" I snap at her. "Clothes and fashion are what makes a lady, and I intend to look the prettiest I can!"

"Okay, fine, whatever," Nami relents. I detect sarcasm. "Do I have to invest in makeup also, your highness?"

"I don't use makeup," I state, my chest swelling with pride, gesturing at my flawless facial features. "This is all natural, my dear."

"... Okay, that is actually kind of impressive," Nami admits. Glad to know she understands perfection when she sees it.

"You two done?" Zoro grumbles impatiently. "We got things to do."

"Ah, yes. Sorry for digressing," I apologize. "Anyway. Luffy..." I look at the captain with those absent looking eyes. Nami and I share a worried look and nod at each other. "... Neither Nami and I trust you to actually do what we tell you, so we'd just want to ask that you don't do anything immensely stupid."

"'Kay!" He responds vacantly.

"No, Luffy, I need to know you understand," Nami sternly addresses the captain. "If we get caught up in the usual nonsense, it would be really bad. We could get caught by the marines and never reach Grand Line."

Nami's words made Luffy's face grow uncharacteristically serious as the words bounced around in his rubbery skull. "Okay, I got it."

"I can only hope so," Nami sighs, afraid to be hopeful. I pat her on the back softly. That is literally the best we could get, so we'd work with it.

"Anyway, seeing as we are fairly close to a marine base, I also propose we leave someone to guard the ship," I speak up. "It wouldn't hurt to cover our bases."

"But isn't everyone going to Loque Town already?" Zoro asks, bringing up what everyone was thinking. I merely smile mischievously.

"Not everyone," I point out, holding my index finger up for emphasis. Then I point my thumb behind me dramatically.

The rest follow my thumb.

"No!" Unsurprisingly the first word comes from Nami. "Absolutely not!"

"It's not up for much debate, I'm afraid," I counter with the same smile, with a hint of cockiness added in. "The others have dedicated duties. Literally, no one else is available to sit this trip out." I count with my healthy fingers as I list them out. "Zoro needs weapons, Usopp requires materials, Sanji _must_ be the one who takes care of the food, you are going clothing shopping, amongst other things. And Luffy... is going to want to visit the execution grounds of Gold Roger."

The last one was a complete bluff, as I knew Luffy had no such plans. But upon reading up on the so called King of the Pirates- it was very vague, but I could just sense the power that title possessed through what was there -it seemed like the kind of thing he'd do.

But fortune smiled upon me, for Luffy got all excited and starry eyed. "Wooow! This is the place Gold Roger died?! I wanna go see!"

"Abel, you bastard!" Nami screeched at me, for a moment looking every bit like an angry shark. She'd realized what game I was playing, no doubt. I was being pretty obvious about it, after all.

So I shoot a self-satisfied smirk in return and shrugged, a silent 'what are you gonna do?'.

"... Hey, wait! What about you?" Nami asked, realizing I hadn't included myself in any of this scenario. Unfortunately for her, I am not so poorly prepared as to be beaten by a teenage girl in a game of wits.

"Oh, yes, of course. Why, it makes perfect sense to leave guard duty to a cripple who barely manages to move around due to his injuries, not to mention fending off potential enemies. Truly, your idea is an inspiration to strategists everywhere! The enemy will never see it coming!" I mock her, lacing my tongue with as much sarcasm as physically possible.

"Okay!" Nami exclaims, throwing her arms up. "I get it! But still-"

"Also," I cut her off, "if I were able to do anything, I would assist with these errands, but alas." I moved my arm cast slightly, as well as my injured leg. "But were I to stay here and guard the ship, Arlong would need to not be on it as per your dilemma. So I can only assume you intend to keep an eye on him yourself?"

Nami's eye was twitching in a very unhealthy manner, she still raised arms lowering to chest level, clenched into shaking fists. Then she visibly deflated, knowing I had her beat in every regard. "Fine, you win," Nami scowled, glaring murder at yours truly. "This time."

"Oh, Nami. Poor, poor, _naive_ child," I shake my head, amusement, and pride in my tone. I shot her a smarmy grin. "I always win." Clearly, I knew I what I was doing and _not_ crossing any social boundaries I'd myself set not two days ago. Nope! I'm perfect and a nice guy!

...

Why is this so hard, damnit?!

Nami's glare could freeze the ocean if that was possible. It was that frigid. "... So, we have things to do," she hissed through her teeth and slowly turned to face the rest of the guys. "Let's get to it, shall we?"

... She is so mad. And I am kind of _proud_ of that. Go me!

...

Wait, NO! That's counterintuitive! We're trying to be nice, damnit!

"If it makes you feel better, I'm staying here as well," I quip after her, trying my hand at damage control.

"Oh, yes, of course," Nami shoots back without looking back... Wait.. "Why, it makes perfect sense to leave guard duty to a cripple who barely manages to move around due to his injuries, not to mention fending off potential enemies. Truly, your idea is an inspiration to strategists everywhere!"

... Did... did she just sarcastically quote me and use it as a burn? By the ancestors...

"I'm so proud of you, honey!" I exclaim in earnest, pumping my good arm victoriously. "That's how you turn the tables on someone! You go girl!"

She doesn't even regard my existence, much less turn around. Though based on how Usopp and Zoro are sweating nervously(Sanji just looked conflicted between nervousness and gushing), her face must tell a different story.

"Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Usopp. Let's go," Nami orders and jumps ashore without any more words.

Yup! She's super mad. And I quickly remembered something immensely vital. Something I had a massive stake in that was about to be massively hampered. It was a matter of life and death.

"Wait!" I scream and hobble over to the edge of the ship post-haste, clutching the rail as if it were a lifeline. My voice takes on a tone of panicked desperation. "I'm sorry, okay! You can hate me later, but please..." Damnit, am I sobbing a little? "Just... please get me some cute clothes! I can't stand living in a world of madness without looking fabulous! I'll let you beat me up, insult me, anything! Just think of the fashion!"

She stopped only for a fraction of a second before continuing forward, never once even thinking of looking back.

Everyone else looked at me like I was insane. Ignorant fools, not knowing any better. I can't be mad at their lack of priorities, merely puzzled at their life choices. With a shrug, they followed after Nami at their own pace, by which I mean they(barring Luffy) instantly bolted after her, all the while giving me weird looks(except Luffy who was just waving and smiling).

All I could do in the moment was leave my apparel in the hands of the Three Fates of Fashion: Fabulosity, Style, and Aesthetic. Well, I suppose I'm all on my own until they- oh yeah, Arlong is still here.

Honestly, if he gets out of control and decides to wreck house, there's not much I can do. What I did to him before won't work again, he's expecting that now. That and I'd need to make more poison, which I don't have time for. Speaking of the Fishman, I look at the huge lug.

He's just sitting casually on the opposite side of the deck, staring my way in silence. Funny, his eyes seem a bit wider than usual. I wonder why. Immediately my mind starts thinking of ways to make him not decide to take the path of my imminent demise.

Everything is quiet for a while before Arlong speaks up for the first time since we docked on these shoals.

"... What the hell."

-o~O-O~o-

"I spy with my little eye... something that starts with... 'C'," I drawl out. I was sitting cross-legged in a meditation stance, just a few feet away from my considerably more dangerous... pal? Foe? Frenemy?

"This game is idiotic," Arlong growls, seeming more disinterested and annoyed than anything.

"Bzzzt! Wrong, it's a trick question!" I exclaim. "The answer was given right from the start. It was sea. Get it? Because it sounds like the letter 'C'? Eh. Eh? EH?" I inch closer to him with each 'eh', ending the last 'eh' by jabbing Arlong's arm with my elbow.

He let out an annoyed growl in return. To his credit, I am not a wet smear right now, so... good?

I cross my arms(as well as I was able). "Fine, I-Spy is sort of a kid thing, isn't it," I relent. "I get it. It's not your speed... How about I sing instead?"

"Please no," Arlong shoots the suggestion down rather quickly. I frown very deeply, somewhat offended that he doesn't appreciate my vocal chords. Seriously, my vocal range is something most actors would kill to obtain!

... Oh, wait. Forgot I was tone deaf for a moment.

"Geeze, you're just anti-fun, aren't you?" I snark his way. "Real bag of laughs, you are." I put on a more serious tone. "Why'd you drown the fun? What did it do to you, Arly?"

"Call me that again..." Arlong just sort of let the unfinished threat float around, and I saw no reason to approach my demise faster. That's anti-progress. I am distressingly good at that.

"Christ, just trying to do small talk," I say in my defense, letting it go. "You're just so damn serious all the time. Major buzzkill."

A silence falls upon us. I am more than happy to brutally kick it out back and shoot it to death before it gets comfortable.

"Me leaving you here isn't a racist thing if that is what you're thinking," I state out of the blue, getting a reaction. That being, his eyes traveled my way, narrowing slightly. "I'll explain, don't worry. It isn't too offensive."

He regards me in silence, judging me, I feel. "Go on..."

I would clap my hands together, but seeing as that would be really hard right now, I just snap my fingers. "Well, first of all, it was a sign of trust," I explain. "Should be pretty obvious, but you are not the most liked person on this ship." He grunted a non-response, which I ignored. "Leaving you with some responsibility is a good way to develop trust, something that is paramount in our current predicament.

"These guys, Nami especially, hate you, or to be more specific, distrust you. They need to know that they won't get burned by letting a barely controlled fire stay on board a ship if you don't mind the metaphor. They need some proof that your intentions are genuine and not just a trick." I shoot him a deadpan look. "Thanks for making this harder for me, by the way."

"Hm?" He grunts. What a talkative fellow. I do recognize the question behind the noise though.

"I mean you, being all stand-offish and looking so angry all the time," I elucidate the topic. "I mean, I know it's just how your face looks, no offense, but would it kill you to hold a conversation for once?" He grunts again, and I poke his head with a finger(I am really good at not trying to kill myself, honest). "That doesn't count! Words, use them!"

Arlong glares at my finger as if it was something vile and brushed my hand away with slight force. Although, that did translate to my wrist aching a bit. "I am getting tired of your antics."

"And I am getting annoyed at how childish you're being right now!" I scream at him, baring my teeth in retaliation. "I want to help you, damnit! Giving humans a second chance means you ACTUALLY have to give them a second chance! And that's only possible if there is communication, and I haven't seen dick!" I smack my palm on my chest. "I don't count! I'm a terrible representation of the better sides of humanity! Talk to the others, for fuck's sake!"

He scoffs. "They despise me. Why should I bother?"

"No shit, Sherlock! Not too long ago you were their enemy, some more personally than others," I rebuke. "And that isn't going to fix itself without effort from both sides. And yeah, I know it's not just you. I'm pretty sure even the captain only trusts you because he has some miraculous faith in my judge of character." ... That reminds me. "Wait, hasn't Luffy tried talking to you, like, a dozen times?"

"The hammer is annoying," comes Arlong's simple and short reply.

"Okay, disregarding that I don't know what a 'hammer' is in this context... Yeah, I get that, actually," I say, not really able to disregard his view. A view that I shared. "Luffy does come off a bit strong, doesn't he?" I shake my head. "Regardless, I am trying to make the others more receptive to your presence, but you need to give something back. It's a lot to ask, I know, but otherwise, this all will be pointless, at which point I have to ask. Why are you here, and are you even trying?"

I let him stew on that for a while, and he did seem to be thinking it over. I mean, I hope he was. Damn guy is hard to get a read on. If only his face wasn't stuck in that accursed frown...

"Also, the second reason I'd rather have you stay here," I say, catching his attention once more. "Aside from my personal safety, that is. As it stands, you are the only one of us with a pre-existing reputation. Not to mention you stand out much more in a crowd. No offense meant, just the truth. If you were walking those streets, the Marines would be on our asses within seconds."

Arlong takes a while to consider what I said and grunts in affirmation. I smile faintly at his acceptance of my logic.

"Also, guarding the boat is an important, noble job," I quip with a grin. "You literally hold all responsibility so that no one fucks off with the only way for the crew to fuck off when shit hits the fan. It's not the most exciting sounding duty, but it is one of the most important."

Arlong regards me for a while before looking forward to the horizon. "I suppose," he mutters. He pauses, thinking. "This is not... easy."

"Never said it was," I respond empathetically. "Hell, I've just discovered that being nice is more of a foreign concept to me than I thought it was." I jab Arlong on the arm. "You're not the only one struggling in unforeseen territory. Like it or not, we're in this together."

A moment passes in silence. It's a lot less awkward this time, both of us just entertaining our own thoughts. I on how to go about this whole 'don't be an asshole thing' and Arlong... I don't know. Brooding? The guy is a mystery.

Our musings, whatever they were, were soon interrupted. A voice, somewhere from the shore. I glanced at Arlong, who'd also noticed, and put a finger on my lips and shushed. I then crawled to the other end of the ship that faced the shore and peeked at the source of this interruption.

I had to _work_ to refrain from snorting loudly. On the shore stood one of the most ridiculous looking men I'd ever laid eyes on.

 _'What the fuck is with those cute ears?!'_ My mind screams. Because really, what the fuck. This man had hair that seemed to fuse with his beard, and on top of that, poking out of a ridiculous pink 'helmet' were these cute long bunny ears.

Are those natural? Part of that headpiece? What is that hideous thing on his head?! What the fuck is this guy? What is he wearing?! Is that a fur vest with blue pants? Is that a yellow sash? The colors clash so horribly! Is he insane?!

"I'M TRIGGERED!" I scream and am pointing my rifle at this hideous cancer on fashion.

"AAAAA!" The Hideous-Clothed-One screams in fright and jumps back, like a sissy.

"You!" I scream out.

"M-me?"

"Who?"

"Wha-"

"WHO?!"

"Mohji!"

"What are you doing?"

"What am I doing?"

"DON'T SASS ME, BOY!"

"Captain Buggy told me to burn the ship!"

"Whose ship?"

"Straw Hat Luffy's!"

"You ruining my day?"

"Ruining your day?"

"ARE YOU?!"

He pauses.

"... Yes?"

"BITCH, I'LL SHOOT YOU!"

"Please no!"

"Three! Two! One and a half!"

"W-wait-"

"FIRE!"

"AHHHHH!" He screams in fright.

"AAAAAARGH!" I scream in indignation.

He runs away screaming as I pull the trigger. He's gone too quickly to notice that nothing happened.

...

"Shit, I forgot to load," I state the obvious. Very much unlike me. I really hate how hard it is to load with only one hand in my use.

"... What the hell."

I turn to look at Arlong, who is staring at me with actual emotion on his face. And that is the face that screams "what the hell is this crazy person?". So I act naturally.

"What?" I shrug. "Did you see his attire? " I ignored the poignant 'No'. "Absolute horror to the senses! You dress somewhat fashionably, you'd understand, right."

Arlong just stares at me like I'd lost my mind.

"Sha..." Wait, why is he quivering like- "Shahahaha! Shahahahaha!"

And now he's laughing his ass off. Normally I'd be glad at this apparently positive derailment from his stoic brooding, except I just felt annoyed that the hollering was directed at me.

"Yeah, sure. Laugh it up, you hyena!" I snarl. "Clothes are serious business, damnit!"

For some reason, he just laughs harder at my statement of fact.

I feel a vein throb on my forehead.

Where the fuck are the others? I want to leave! I don't have to stand this ridicule!

The sky rumbles and suddenly dark and ominous in its nature. Small, wet specks start tapping on my face. Within seconds it escalates to a downpour.

"AND NOW IT'S FUCKING RAINING!"

-o~O-O~o-

 _ **There is no excuse for this being super late. One can't truly explain the horrors of a creative drought that just kills all progress. You'll get what I mean if you write in any capacity. But here is a chapter where almost nothing happens! It was supposed to be longer, but I thought "Hey, these guys have been patient with my bullshit. I can cut this off here and give them SOMETHING!"**_

 _ **Aside from that horrid debacle of me failing super hard at being punctual; Abel is a jerk. He's been a jerk for so long, so consistently, that being nice is a borderline foreign concept that he's rusty and unfamiliar with. Our cross-dressing friend has a long road ahead of him before he'll truly be Nakama.**_

 _ **Next time, departing from Logue Town and the voyage to cross the Reverse Mountain! Mostly from the POV of everyone EXCEPT our asshole protagonist! I wonder what everyone thinks of him?**_

 _ **Once more, sorry for being bad at schedules. I hope I'll one day earn the right to be a bit tardy by bastardizing this narrative to high hell with unforeseen swerves.**_

 _ ***wink wink***_

 _ **-Bad At His Job, C-Hablerie**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Chapter 10: From A Certain Point of View...**_

Nami was angry.

Not, scratch that. She was _fucking_ furious!

How dare that... that... dress-wearing asshole toy with her in such a manner. Abel had to know, he couldn't be stupid or dense enough not to! That was a fact. And yet he still had done everything to make Nami want to break every single miserable, unbroken bone in his body!

Yes, Nami was very livid at the moment. But that wasn't the worst thing. Oh no.

A part of her was upset about it!

She couldn't understand it. Why would she feel bad at being rightfully furious at one of the most bi-polar jerks she'd ever encountered? It made no sense!

At first, he'd been pleasant enough, she admitted that. Back when they picked him up from Gaimon's island. A bit prickly and testy, but she could understand that. Isolation doesn't do good to anyone. Heck, the two had even gained some respect for one another due to being voices of reason on a ship of crazy idiots!

Then she knocked him hard on the head, gave him a concussion that could've lead to him drowning. Thinking back to it made an unpleasant squirming make itself known in Nami's gut. She recalled, for a moment, that she'd killed him. All because she hadn't really paid attention or fully realized just how frail the man truly was. She had no one to blame but herself and had felt immense guilt over the matter.

But then, at Arlong Park, he'd callously shot Zoro to save his own skin. Such a blatant move of self-preservation with no qualm about morality. At that moment Nami despised him for his cruel disregard of what he did, and she knew he felt no shame for the act. Yet before that, he'd apparently already figured out her act and had seemed... proud and accepting.

Then, even while having no reason to do so, he'd saved Nojiko and protected her treasure. He'd even fought Arlong, and did so with little effort, before having the gall to lecture the Fishman on his misdeeds while knowingly injuring himself to prove a point. Never in her life had Nami heard words spoken with such passion and determination. It was almost supernatural how strong the meaning behind his words were in that moment.

Nami just... couldn't settle on what to think about the man known as Cain Abel. Especially after he'd invited ARLONG of all people on the Merry. That action alone made Nami's blood boil due to years of mental and physical scars. But then he'd go between being sincerely caring and an absolute asshole. And to make it all the worse, he reminded her of Bellemere of all people at times!

 _'Damnit! Why do I have to know that that fucker is an actor?! That makes getting his personality down so much harder! Why does he have to be so confusing? AAAAUUUURRRGH!'_ Her mental screaming was so intense that some people she walked past felt shivers in their spines.

Unknown to Nami herself, her internal conflict was very much showing on her face, explaining why the crowds were giving her a wide berth. That explained how she'd never bumped into anyone while stalking the streets, stuck in her thoughts.

Until she did.

"Off!"

"Ah!" A sound of objects falling on the ground ensued.

Nami stumbled back, her head finally clearing and realizing she'd just walked into someone. "Oh, I'm sorry! I wasn't... looking..." She looked down at the ground. She saw who she'd knocked over. The second thing she noticed was a number of bags holding clothes, she assumed. But the first thing... it was far more striking.

On the ground, rubbing her lower back, was a woman of rare beauty. Her skin was light and fair, her facial features a perfect blend of youthful cuteness and mature beauty. Her waist-length brown hair was shiny and seemed smoother than silk. And she had quite a lithe and graceful figure, not to mention... plentiful assets.

But what was even more eye-catching was her apparel. It was very striking due to its warm golden and orange colors as well as its long, flowing hems on both the sleeves and the skirt, though it didn't leave much to the imagination and showed a _lot_ of skin. She wore an ensemble that Nami didn't quite recognize at first, but seemed to resemble the clothing of an exotic dancer.

"Oh, no! I'm sorry as well," The woman said, a bit flustered. "I was a bit out of it, so I am to blame as well." Nami broke out of her momentary lapse in brain activity because OH GOD THIS WOMAN WAS BEAUTIFUL!

Nami was fairly certain she wasn't into girls but...

She shook her head to clear it of such nonsense and gave a strained smiled. "Well, I'm still sorry, " she said, noticing the dropped bags on the ground, some of their contents(clothes of many varieties) splayed on the cobblestone. "Here, let me help you with these."

The woman smiled sweetly at the offer. "I'd appreciate it."

Nami would deny that her heart skipped a beat at that smile. It never happened and even the idea of such was absurd.

In a few moments, Nami had aided the woman with her bags and returned them to her. The woman held two bags in the crook of each arm, smiling warmly at her.

"Thank you kindly, miss," the woman said with a slight appreciative bow. "May I ask your name?"

"Oh, er, Nami," The navigator stammered, uncertain as to why. She was nervous for some reason. "And I just did what anyone would've, really, miss..."

The woman's kind, patient smile never seemed to waver, despite Nami's apparent awkwardness. "You can call me Hari if you want." she introduces herself. Nami stared at the beautiful woman before finally noticed her outstretched hand and that the woman had tried to initiate a handshake.

Which Nami had left hanging there for a good minute.

Nami flushed of embarrassment at being so rude and spacey. "Ah, sorry!"

"Please," the woman named Hari raised her hand in a calming gesture, "there is nothing to be sorry about."

Nami could only manage an awkward laugh at her very uncharacteristic behaviors. Something about this woman- Hari... there was something about her that made her feel off. But not necessarily in a bad way. It was kinda good, but not. Nami felt very confused.

Seeking any kind of way to break out of her... _thing_ , her mind brought her to the bags of clothes she'd just helped pick up.

"Oh, umm, could I ask something?"

"Yes, please do," Hari encouraged.

"Well, it's just that... I'm looking for a clothing store and you seem to have been to one. So..." Nami wasn't lost, not really. She just needed an excuse to get away from the woman making her so nervous for some reason.

"Say no more," Hari nodded in understanding. "I was just at this fine place. I can show you if you'd like." Oh, crap baskets! "Think of it as a sign of my appreciation for helping me."

"Sure!" Nami replied with a thankful smile. That was on the outside. Inside was something more like: _'Gaaaaah! Why did you say yes?! You could've just asked for directions! Now it feels extremely rude to decline!'_

"Wonderful!" Hari exclaimed joyously without raising her voice. "Please, follow me."

Without having much choice, Nami obliged. For a while, she was glad to be walking behind the beautiful woman in silence. The way her hips swayed was really something to behold-

*Slap*

"Are you alright?" Hari questioned, looking back at Nami.

"Hmm, yes! Perfectly fine," Nami answered quickly as if the bit of red on her cheek didn't exist due to her slapping herself. _'What is happening to me?!'_

Hari's brow raised, just a little. Her blue eyes softened in an almost motherly manner. "Something is bothering you, isn't it." Nami stumbled little, almost tripping. Was she that obvious? "Would you wish to talk about it? I'd offer my counsel if you'd have it."

Nami bit the inside of her cheek nervously. She didn't necessarily want to think of... him. It might rile her up again. But... she also felt like she could trust Hari. A part of her wanted to speak of what was causing her such mental strife.

 _'Oh, to heck with it!'_

"Well," Nami started, "there's this guy on our crew. And he's... he makes no god damn sense! One moment he's an unbearable asshole and then at times he just... he just starts being all kind and considerate before going back to doing something infuriating. It's just- he drives me up the wall!" She'd raised her voice without meaning to, she noted, and let her shoulder s slump. "And I don't know why! I just... don't understand."

Hari observed her with comforting eyes and even a hint of understanding. "Hmm, I see," she commented, thinking. "Is this crew mate of yours an actor, by any chance?"

"... Yes?" Nami answered, a bit confused by what that had to do with it.

"Ah, that would explain it," Hari quipped at the revelation.

"... I don't get it," Nami deadpanned. Hari just smiled at her sweetly. _'So pretty...'_

"Miss Nami, I am quite knowledgeable on the... occupation of acting," Hari calmly explains. "Acting is all about becoming someone you are not. And this someone sounds like they've kept up an act for so long that they don't quite remember who they are supposed to be anymore. It can happen sometimes too natural talents. So when they try to act against their set character, it comes off as odd and inconsistent."

Nami blinked twice. That... actually made a fair amount of sense. Thinking back, an image came to mind. The one Abel had shown on a few occasions. When he let his 'mask' slip off. A cold, barren expression. A face devoid of any shrivels of warmth or humanity. An empty husk of a human being. If that was the real him... then that would mean...

"Oh, here we are!" Hari's exclamation made Nami snap out of her musings. The woman gestured at the building to their right. "This is the place I was talking about. There are a few more in the general area, so you have options."

"Ah, yes. Thank you, Miss Hari!"

"Please, just Hari will do," the exotic woman said with a small giggle. She turned, looking over her back at the orange-haired girl. "And now my debt is paid. It was a pleasure to have met you, Nami," She gave her a smile that was warm and radiant like sunlight. "I hope I was of help, and I hope you have a good day., May our paths cross again someday."

"Oh, I hope so- I-I mean, ah, g-good day to you too! Yeah," Nami stumbled her way into a sentence. Hari just giggled in a way that Na- _ **ANYONE**_ would find absolutely heart fluttering.

With one final nod in her direction and friendly wave, the exotic woman walked off and soon disappeared into the crowd, impossibly enough. Nami would have wondered about that particular feat.

That is if she wasn't leaning heavily on the wall of the clothing store, heaving, face flush like a tomato and clutching her chest which was beating mile-a-minute. _'WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!'_

She continued to have a... a _thing_ for a few more minutes. If Nami hadn't been so distracted the whole time, she might have realized something odd. The whole way to the clothing store, the only time a soul had paid any significant attention to Hari was when she bumped into her. A frankly impossible thing considering the woman's incredible beauty.

It was as if she wasn't even there.

 **-o~O-O~o-**

 _'Well, that was a good haul, If I dare say so myself,'_ Sanji thought, slightly patting himself on the back for a job well done. And why shouldn't he? The markets of Logue Town had proven to be well worth its reputation. He'd heard about it back at the Baratie at times when their suppliers came to stock them up, but to experience it himself... he was glad he'd come along with Luffy.

So, with his purchases made, he'd set the bag containing the foodstuffs down and taken a small break. It was a bulging thing, especially the massive thing poking partially out of it.

He grinned at himself, recalling the Elephant Tuna he'd found and bought. Such an amazing find couldn't just be ignored. It was a delicacy and a fairly rare ingredient. The things he could do with that sea creature... He was certain Nami-chan would appreciate it.

And then praise him and tell him how dependable and amazing he was and how she could always depend on him!

Sanji had a weakness for women, he was aware of that and considered his taste in women to be of the highest quality. He knew Nami used this weakness of his to make him do things for her, but Sanji didn't mind at all. He was just happy to serve such a youthful beauty as Nami-chan.

But the fact was, Sanji had an eye for _all_ women. It was something he just couldn't help. Sure, he mainly gravitated to the more beautiful ones, but a lady was a lady in his mind, no matter the appearances. He was shallow when it came to women, yes, but not that shallow. He was a gentleman, after all.

It was hardwired into him by that old bastard Zeff that hitting a woman was the lowest of the low. Something so unforgivable that anytime he'd even thought of throttling a particularly rude female customer during his boyhood, Zeff had knocked a few more bumps into his cranium with his peg-leg.

Sanji was fairly certain the old fart was slightly psychic.

Anyway, thanks to this method of enforced mental conditioning, Sanji couldn't hit a woman, even if he wanted to.

Which was odd, considering how he hadn't been able to lay a hand on his fair, pale skinned Dark Angel. The ocean blue eyes sparkling, gazing at him in appreciation and... something more.

 _''These sausages you made are just amazing, Sanji darling~" the mental version of the Dark Angel spoke, licking her lips seductively and fluttering her lurid eyelashes. "I could offer you one in return, my Kitchen Prince..."_

"AAAAAAAH!" Sanji screamed, clutching the sides of his head as if in pain as the... horrifyingly enticing image formed in his head of the person he knew to be a MAN! Abel wasn't a woman, damnit! He just looked like one!

... And could sound like one.

... ... And could act like one.

... ... ... And could trick Sanji into doing things for her- _him_ by acting cute and feminine.

... ... ... ... And Sanji had failed thrice to kick the daylights out of that feminine bastard, his body missing his kicks on ingrained instinct Old Man Zeff had beaten into him.

 _'God damnit!'_ Sanji cursed mentally, almost ready to cry. _'What has that damned trap done to me?!'_

Sanji liked women, damnit! Ones with beautiful faces and fair skins! He liked natural charm and feminine grace! He liked girls in dresses who had a sense of style! He like curves and boobs!

... All of which Abel possessed. Her-his outfit made it hard to tell, but man did have some curves to him unless he wore a corset. Sh- _ **HE**_ was was flat as a washboard, however.

 _The Dark Angel jumped into view with a spring in her step and did a cute and graceful twirl, stopping to wink playfully towards him, tongue held out in an adorable fashion. She giggled, her arms held behind her back, which only accentuated the harmonic way her chest bounced alongside her breathing._

 _*Boing, boing*_

"GAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Sanji screamed once more, falling to his knees like a man defeated, ignoring in his distress the many odd looks he was getting from the passer-bys, because _ **WHY THE HELL DID HE IMAGINE ABEL WITH BOOBS!?**_

Sanji might have coughed up some blood. He wasn't sure, his mind was in a disarray. It wasn't that he didn't like... Okay, he didn't like Abel at all. The... guy just rubbed him the wrong way, and his teasing didn't help a damn bit! He just wanted to smack that bastard for daring to mess with his mind in such a manner, but he wasn't so sure he could.

Forcing himself to calm down, he had to admit that he didn't hate Abel for his... lifestyle choices or how he chose to carry himself. He wasn't that petty or hateful. Hell, he could even find positive and admirable traits in the guy if he really tried.

But the man was a consummate liar and a pretender extraordinaire, a born naturally at that. He more often seemed to be honest and genuine, but the fact was that even Sanji couldn't tell with certainty what was true and what wasn't. A credit to his claims to be an actor. But everything about Abel felt so... fake. Convincing, but fake. All appearances and no substance.

And he was crafty. Frighteningly creative and obviously very intelligent. Abel was the type that used any method accessible to succeed in his goals. And that made him dangerous. What more, when combined with all above, it made him unpredictable. Ergo, even more dangerous.

Sanji didn't hate Abel, at all. It was just what his presence, his being, brought up memories from parts of his mind that he wished to just leave alone.

Everything about Abel reminded him of... of home. Before the Baratie. Of...

He shook the oncoming memories away before they could fully form. Instead, he focused on something that _did_ piss him off.

Arlong. And by proxy, Abel for being so foolish by bringing him along.

Sure, the Fishman had behaved himself up to this point and was even alone(in practice, at least) at the ship, so Sanji couldn't really pass judgment before something happened. Maybe Abel had a point with bringing Arlong with them, to give the Fishman a second chance.

But Arlong had hurt Nami, very cruelly and very deeply. She'd essentially been his slave for most of her childhood. That Sanji wasn't about to just forget and forgive, and something told him that Abel didn't expect him, or any of the crew, to do so. But the cross-dresser himself seemed to have faith in the Fishman.

That, or some convoluted scheme. That was also a strong possibility with that guy.

But Sanji would keep an eye on it. He wouldn't trust Arlong by any means, but he should give the guy a shot. For the Fishman to prove him wrong. Abel, too. He knew people could change and overcome their pasts, no matter how terrible, if they tried.

He knew from experience...

...

Okay, his head was a lot clearer now. Perhaps now was a good time to get going.

Something told him that trouble was on the horizon.

 **-o~O-O~o-**

 _'Scrap metal, lead, gunpowder, glue, rubber bands... lots of rubber bands,'_ Usopp ran a list through his head as he perused different shops for anything even remotely useful. He'd done that for a while, and while his search hadn't found anything too special it was far from fruitless. Abel's list were broad and often very specific on what they needed, and some of these things Usopp doubted actually existed. Be they materials or tools.

Still, because it was on the list, he looked around and asked about them.

Usopp and the cross-dresser had spoken at length only a few times, but those few times were enough for Usopp to reinforce his conclusion on the man. Abel was absolutely brilliant! He proposed ideas he could never have dreamed of and had already worked up a theoretical method to enhance the power of Usopp's own explosive ammunition. They'd even figured out a way to replicate Abel's basic bullets.

They just needed something to make molds to reproduce the casings. Speaking of Abel's bullets, they were a lot more advanced than anything Usopp was used to. They were way more intricate than a simple metal ball and possessed greater penetration power. The only downside was that they weren't sold anywhere, so they had to make them themselves. Something Usopp was used to doing with his own weaponry, and now he had a very talented person to help. It should be a cakewalk!

They still hadn't taken a look at Abel's more... unique ammunition, simply because of their limited numbers and that... well, neither of them wanted to fiddle carelessly with a round that creates a mushroom cloud by exploding violently or immolates everything in near vicinity. And who knows what the remaining three types do!

Okay, that one was not completely true. They'd easily deduced that one type of bullet was hollow and empty and had a tip made of thin glass. Abel had a myriad of ideas for it within the minute of the discovery but apparently hadn't figured out how to actually do any of them.

They'd decided to not poke a sleeping dragon until Abel could reliably use both of his hands. He'd assumed that he had a rough idea on how to defuse them safely so they could examine the contents. And who knows, maybe replicate the effects. They just needed the tools and materials to make it happen.

Usopp thought highly of Abel. He was really smart and knew his stuff. And he was so confident, direct, brave and even commanding. He could, and likely would fight despite having a massive disadvantage in his frailty. He was level-headed, like Nami, but more... mature? He was older than any of them, after all. More experienced in life. A real adult.

Everything Usopp... wasn't. But what he wanted to be. Maybe that was why he had such high views on Abel while the others... well, they didn't hate him, per se. Just... didn't know what to think of him. What with the whole Arlong situation.

Usopp couldn't lie to himself. The Fishman scared the pants off of him, and he'd tried his best to not get anywhere near him. But he understood what Abel was going for, and could actually even support the thought behind it. Just as long as it didn't involve him being near the guy who had tried to kill all of them.

Okay, so even he had his doubts, but that was just healthy. Right?

Usopp shook his head. Not the time for these thoughts. He looked over the list and was still a bit surprised at the different kinds of metals and chemicals on the list. Abel hadn't exactly informed him of what all these were for, but if it was him then it had to be something great!

Still, partially unaware of it himself, a part of him gnawed at his soul. A gnawing of self-doubt and jealousy.

 **-o~O-O~o-**

Roronoa Zoro was a simple guy. He had a simple goal: to be the best swordsman in the world and defeat Dracule Mihawk. He did things the simple way, by fighting and brute force. But he wasn't as simple as some might think.

Zoro was smart, in his own way. He was perceptive and could read others to determine what sort of people they were, more so when it came to fighting. Maybe that was why he was so wary of Abel.

It wasn't that complicated of a thing, really. Abel had himself stated that honor had no place for a man of his caliber, and Zoro had seen enough to know he meant it. Abel was the type that cheated, schemed and in general, did not play fair. He made his own rules, which made him dangerous.

It also made him unpredictable, and thus difficult to trust. Now, Zoro knew enough of the guy that he could see that there was good in the guy somewhere in that guy's soul. But that was sidelined by another thing Zoro had noted of him.

Abel was a faker. Almost every word out of his mouth could potentially be a lie and every action another ploy, and that didn't really encourage trust. Lately, his doings had made Zoro question if even he knew what was true or false anymore.

Sometimes he did the right thing, like with helping Nami. It held no profit for him and put his life at risk. It seemed like a pure act of good will. But then again, he had essentially left Zoro to the Fishmen after shooting him, no less. Just to save his own skin and get out with his things.

The less said of the whole Arlong situation, the better. Let's just say that Zoro was open-minded but cautious for now.

Cain Abel(Zoro doubted that was his real name) was an enigma. But he was an enigma Luffy had chosen to join them. Zoro knew that Luffy was... well, a moron, but his judge of character was generally on point. So if Luffy was willing to have faith in the man known as Abel, the Zoro would keep an open mind.

If a hunch he had was right, then Abel- or whomever he was -deserved as much.

Letting out an annoyed breath and a low snarl, Zoro simply tried to focus on the more pressing matter. Like how the owner of the weapons shop he'd finally found had tried to swindle him into selling Wadou Ichimonji. Something that just wasn't going to happen! It was a precious keepsake and gift, after all.

He didn't appreciate running into that glasses-wearing fake Kuina though. Not at all. She might look just like his best friend, but her attitude was just unbearably annoying. The resemblance just made it worse.

She did help in exposing the owner's attempted scam though. Not that Zoro didn't think the woman was a good person or anything. She just... rubbed him the wrong way personally.

He was fully prepared to go about his business when someone new spoke up

"So you got caught, old man?" A man's voice called out from the door. The voice sounded a bit hoarse and dry. Footsteps rang about the shop, alongside a jangling of metal. Zoro and the two others turned their attention to the new arrival.

Immediately Zoro's honed senses flared to life. Just from the rather basic looking katana on his hip, he could tell that this was a swordsman. His apparel held some resemblance to the kind of armor worn by the samurai of Wano Country to battle if the stories were to be believed.

His face was angular, handsomely rugged some would say. His most striking physical feature was his hair styled in a rough ponytail, which seemed almost silver in color, but on a closer look, it was light golden instead. And his face possessed some small scars. There was no doubt in Zoro's mind. This man was a warrior, and a pretty good one too if his gut was right.

"Oh, shut it!" The shop owner snapped at the man. "Can't blame a man for trying. I got a business to run."

"Careful," the man said, tone full of dry wit. "You get any saltier, you'll end up a sea man." He then walked to the counter and Zoro noted the large sack slung over his shoulder. It gave off a peculiar symphony of sounds with each step that moved it. The sound of metal scraping metal.

The man dropped the sack on the floor with a thump. Clearly, the weight was not quite insignificant. "Here's what I scrounged up."

The top of the sack had dropped open enough to reveal the contents within. A plethora of weapons of different kinds. Swords, knives, axes, hammers and even what might've been spear tips. Overall, a lot of potentially deadly steel.

"Excuse me, why do you have all those weapons?" Not-Kuina asked the samurai(?).

"Hmm?"

"Oh, this? William and I have a small... partnership," the owner answered in the man's stead.

"More of a deal," The samurai-like man replied.

"Well, alright, but," Not-Kuina said, "what is with all these?" She gestured at the bag William had carried in. Zoro could now spot its contents and prove his earlier guess.

The bag was filled with different weapons in moderate or less-than-moderate condition. Swords, axes, small knives, you name it.

"Well, miss Tashigi," the owner took over. "The deal was that William here would bring me... let's say 'confiscated' weapons, and I would provide him temporary lodgings and some pay."

The Not-Kuina's eyes narrowed with a dangerous edge as she glanced at William. "Confiscated?"

"Criminals, pirates, troublemakers," the swordsman answered lazily, leaning back on the wall. "Stupid people starting fights."

"Yes, and then I either resell them or use the metal to forge new product," the owner added to the man's non-answer. "It's all perfectly legal, I assure you. No need to got to your superior. I got an okay from him."

The tension in Nor-Kuina eyes mellowed a bit. "Well, if Captain Smoker says it's fine..."

 _'That girl's a marine?!'_ Zoro screamed on the inside. Damnit, just what he didn't need to add to this whole mess.

"So... you're a swordsman, William-san?" Not-Kuina asked the older man. Something about her question seemed to amuse him, as he shrugged with a faint grin.

"Some have called me that," the samurai replied, "amongst other things."

"I figured. You look the part." Tashigi said. She looked curious. "Are you by chance a samurai?"

"Samurai?" the man responded, sounding a mite amused. "No, though that also was something I've been called."

Sensing that he wouldn't learn much more of the man(and to ignore the ensuing gushing from the Not-Kuina), he tuned them out and started searching the barrel. Most of the swords seemed of less-than-ideal quality and unremarkable. He wasn't expecting anything but some cheap replacements.

That is until his hand touched one specific hilt. His body tensed. He could feel something powerful from the blade he touched, but also malevolence.

"Hmm?" Zoro hummed aloud and pulled the sword out in its entirety. The more he looked at it, the more unsettling it seemed. Unknown to him, the mock-samurai eyes narrowed in the direction of the blade.

"Oh, did you find something?" Not-Kuina asked. Zoro was too occupied by the strange feeling blade to actually be annoyed that she was pestering him again. ".. Wait a second! Is that..."

"Wouldn't recommend that," the mock-samurai quipped from his spot by the wall. "That sword: it's cursed."

Zoro's eyes narrowed in the man's direction "You can tell?"

"I can sense it," the man answered with a curt nod. "That blade want's nothing but blood and death. Best not to bother with it before it wants yours."

"He's right!" Not-Kuina exclaimed, looking into that notebook of hers. "Unbelievable, that's a Wazamono grade sword, the Sandai Kitetsu! How is something that valuable in a bargain bin?"

Zoro looked back at the blade. He could definitely feel what the man had spoken about. And yet, he could tell that this was a _very_ good sword.

"I'll buy it," Zoro stated firmly.

"Absolutely not!" the shop owner. "I'm sorry, but my partner there is correct. I can't sell that cursed sword in good conscience."

"So you do have standards," The mock samurai's jest was ignored.

"That sword is one of the tree Kitetsu blades, made by the great yet mad swordsmith of the same name whose madness was passed onto his creations," the shop owner kept going. "Any man who has picked up one of those swords was also felled by them. It's a sword so bloodthirsty that it wants to slay all, including the one who wields it."

Zoro drew the blade from its sheath and regarded it. True, the more he looked at it, the more his honed senses could tell the sword had an... aura about it. A miasmic cloud of death and hate.

Zoro got excited at the prospect of wielding such a fierce weapon. "So what you're saying is," Zoro started, a small grin forming on his lips, "is that all I need to do is beat the dumb curse of this thing?"

"What?!" the shop owner and not Kuina exclaimed in unison. The mock-samurai just kept a silent watch on the whole situation.

"Are you crazy! That's impossible!" the owner yelled. "That sword has caused the deaths of hundreds. There's no way you'd survive!"

"Really?" Zoro asked. "Then let's test it out!" He threw the bare blade in the air and held out his arm. "This curse against my luck!"

Time seemed to slow down as everyone looked on at the moss-headed swordsman's insane action. The blade spun upwards before starting to fall, no doubt cleaving swordsman's arm clean off. And as the blade descended...

It sank into the floorboards. Zoro grinned victoriously. His arm was untouched. He took hold of the hilt and pulled the cursed blade out, holding it with slight reverence. "I guess I win, eh?"

The tension of the situation disappearing, Not-Kuina fell on her knees as her legs betrayed her, both out of relief and awe at such courageous, if foolish, act. Even the shop owner was stunned by Zoro's brazen defiance of any and all logic.

"I'll take it. How much?" Zoro spoke up. He was a bit surprised at the shop owner holding his hand out in the universal stop signal.

"If you'd wait just a moment!" He then ran off to the back of the shop. Zoro blinked in confusion but noted the new fire in the owner's eyes.

"Y-y-y-y-you," he heard Not-Kuina stammer from the floor. "You're insane!"

"And better for it, I'd say," the mock-samurai stated, stepping away from the wall he'd been leaning on.

"W-what?! How can you say that?" Not-Kuina's outburst was ignored as the mock-samurai regarded Zoro with a pair of serious, almost hawk-like eyes.

It reminded Zoro eerily of Mihawk.

"Take good care of that blade," the mock samurai said in a severe tone. "It respects you know. Best keep it that way."

Zoro just nodded in acknowledgment at the very wise and insightful words. He regarded the man before him, seriously this time. The man knew what he was talking about.

Zoro's eyes narrowed just a fraction. Just for a moment, he thought he'd felt something around the mock-samurai. A presence.

"Sorry for the wait!" The shop-keep returned, holding out a new sword. "You needed two swords right? This blade is a family-heirloom, and I'll give it and the Kitetsu for free!"

Distracted by Not-Kuina's flabbergasted reaction at apparently another rare and famous sword, Zoro almost missed the mock-samurai speaking to the owner.

"Well, I'll best be off. I'll come around later for the payment." Without waiting for a reply, the mock-samurai walked out.

Zoro watched the man leave, now resolute in committing the man's name to memory. Something told him that he should watch out for this William guy in the future.

He, of course, accepted the sword, as it was a gift. No use throwing quality away, and the owner wanted him to take it. Now he had the swords he had come for. Without paying a single Beri at that! So that only left him with the paper he'd folded and put in his haramaki.

"Actually, there's one other thing you could help me with," Zoro began, pulling out Abel's note.

 _ **~Meanwhile, just outside~**_

"That guy sure is something, isn't he," William said, apparently speaking to himself. "Him and that girl both hold potential. I wonder how their paths go from here."

He chuckled briefly before turning serious. "That sword... you sensed it too?" A second passed. "It's well on its way to turning. The corruption within it is strong. That man has some serious will to be able to earn its respect. Maybe he can even tame it."

He regarded the air around him. "Well, hope it works out for him. We'll be leaving soon enough if you're right," he muttered, walking off to nowhere in particular. "Let's go, Saoirse!"

And the air around him, if one listened with a clear mind and a forged soul, momentarily chimed a response.

 **-o~O-O~o-**

"Why is this place so big!" Luffy whined in frustration. He'd wandered around for a good long while, and still hadn't found the execution platform. Logue Town was just too big and too many roads and alleys and other stuff!

Luffy knew he wasn't smart, like Usopp, Nami, or Abel, but he sure as hell thought he had a better sense of direction than Zoro. So this shouldn't have been so hard, darn it!

The mounting frustration led Luffy to run around aimlessly like a headless chicken, swearing he'd walked past a certain cross section at least three times now. The young boy's impatience was beginning to show on his face it scrunched up in a fairly humorous way.

It was no wonder that in his blind rushing he inevitably barreled straight into someone while rounding a corner, causing the person to get knocked over by the Straw Hat's surprising velocity.

Only, that didn't happen. Instead, Luffy felt his arm get grabbed as his whole body was tossed upwards before getting slammed face first into the cobblestone below, another hand firmly clasping the top of his hat-covered nogging.

"Ow!" Luffy mumbled into the stone, though the apparent assault didn't actually hurt that much. Sometimes being rubber was just really, really neat! Still, the arms holding him down were fairly strong and reminded Luffy of one of those grappling techniques Gramps had used on him once or twice.

"Hmm?" A voice hummed neutrally, before speaking apologetically. "Oh, I'm sorry!" The hands left his body, allowing Luffy to pull himself off the ground and to a sitting position. The voice sounded old and tired. "My apologies, young man. I thought I was being assaulted for a moment there. You're unharmed, I hope?"

"Yeah! I'm good," Luffy quipped jovially, turning to look at the guy. He was indeed an elderly man, with a bushy gray beard that covered his mouth and squinted eyes that seemed to be almost completely shut rested behind round spectacles. His face was wrinkly and clearly showing his age. The man's face still conveyed a sort of gentle kindness that Luffy found really reassuring for some reason.

He also wore a really cool looking black uniform. A long coat with red linings made of some type of leather that almost reached the old man's feet. A matching black and gray beaked cap rested on top of his head. And finally, over his coats and on his left bicep was a red armband with a nifty looking symbol that Luffy found strangely cool.

The man also had two long, straight single-edged military sabers with hand guards over the knuckles. The ceremonial looking handle and the arm guards seemed gold plated. But Luffy didn't pay much mind to those.

"Wow, you're old," Luffy said in his usual tactless manner.

Strangely, this out of nowhere comment made the old man laugh. "Hohoho! Why yes, I suppose I am a bit on the ancient side of things!" the old man said in good humor.

"Shihihihi!" Luffy laughed with him because it made sense. "Hey, sorry for running into you, old man."

"And sorry for making you acquaint yourself with the road," the uniformed old man replied with an apology as casual as what he received. "I'm afraid that some old battle instincts took over for a moment there. Can't help that a war dog like me overreacts from time to time, hohoho!"

"You're a soldier? Like a marine?" Luffy asked, not quite stopping to think of the implications if it were so.

"Oh, not quite," the old man replied, brushing his beard with a hand while the other rested behind his slightly hunched back. "While true that I was a soldier, I was not a marine way back when."

"Ohhh!" Luffy 'oohed in amazement. If that grapple was anything to go by, not to mention how fast it happened, then, "You must be pretty strong, huh, geezer?"

"Oh, so now I'm a geezer, am I?" The old man said, feigning outrage while still maintaining a kind visage. "Why you youngsters today! I'll have you know I'm at the strapping young age of 89! Why I am the epitome of youthful vigor!" The elderly man then tried to stand straight and pose heroically with his fist raised in the air-

*crack-pop*

-before slouching right back and rubbing his now aching back. "Augh, darn it all..."

"Hey, you okay, gramps?"`Luffy asked in genuine concern.

"Oh, don't worry, young man," the old man replied with a nonchalant wave. "It's just this old back of mine acting up on me, again. I'll admit that while I'm no one's grandpa, I ain't no spring chicken either. You needn't burden your mind with my well-being."

"Oh. Okay."

"Well, that was fast. Hohoho!" The old man shook his head in amusement as he chuckled. "I'll have to say, that was the first time I've found myself enjoying my free time. Thank you, young man."

"It's nothing," Luffy said off-handedly, focusing on something else. "You're really great, for an old man! That armband you have is really cool-"

"There is nothing good about it!" the elderly man spoke with such sudden heat and vitriol that it made Luffy jump back in surprise. The man's eyes were opened a little into a truly dangerous looking glare. Then the moment passed and the old man seemed to regain control of himself and returned to his kindly appearance, though now looking a bit sadder with how his features drooped. "Sorry for getting heated on you, my boy. You couldn't know, so I had no reason to do so. I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive an old man and his grievances."

"It's okay," Luffy said easily, though now he was wondering. "Hey, old man! Why'd you get so mad just now?" And a curious Luffy was hard to reign in, something the elder man seemed to sense.

"Very well," the old man said quietly. "I get the feeling you won't stop until you hear of this, so I can't stop you."

He placed his right hand onto the red armband with an angular black mark on top of a white circle. His features looked sullen and weighed down by something. "... This armband is what remains of my time as a soldier, aside from my uniform and weapons." The old man squeezed his right hand, grasping and crumpling the armband on his left bicep.

"This band bears a mark of the country... no, the idea I fought on the orders of." If possible, he seemed to slouch, even more, an invisible weight settling comfortably on his shoulders. "Though I'd hardly call what I did fighting for a cause. Cold blooded murder is what it was.

"Under this mark, I slaughtered my enemies, executed my deserting allies and murdered countless innocents for no other reason than being different. It is a mark that spoke of a perfect race of beings, mere hubris spouted from the mouth of a madman. A corruption of a symbol that used to hold spiritual significance that man turned into a vile atrocity that provokes hatred and shame from all who know of it it."

Luffy kept staring sympathetically at the man who seemed to show every single year of his age and piled with much, much more. He knew this meant a lot to the man, so he stayed silent and let him go on.

"... This mark I bear is not one of honor, or fealty, or pride," the old man said, almost in a whisper. He sounded tired. And more than that... "This is a mark to be carried in shame. Shame for what was done. Shame for what wasn't done." He quit looking at the armband and looked straight at the young man before him. "It's also a reminder to never forget. And to make sure I never stray from the path I took to walking so long ago, and that I keep the promise I made with my comrades."

Luffy nodded. He got what the old guy meant, even if he didn't quite understand all of it.

"That's great, though!"

"... Excuse me?" The old man blinked owlishly, for once opening his eyes really wide open. They were gunmetal gray.

"You did bad stuff, right?" Luffy asked. "I don't really get all that, but that thing makes you do good stuff, doesn't it?. So it is really cool!"

The old man blinked a few more times at the boy who spoke so straightforwardly. He lowered his gaze slowly, his shoulders beginning to shiver.

"H-hey, old guy?" Luffy asked, a little concerned. Had he upset the old guy? That wasn't what he wanted.

"... Ho..." The elderly man mumbled in a low voice. "Hohohohoo! Hohohohohoo!"

... Or, he'd start laughing like he'd just heard the funniest thing in the world. That made Luffy's spirit instantly soar. He wasn't sure exactly what he'd done, but he was okay with it.

"Hohoho... My, I haven't laughed like that in ages!" The old man wiped some tiny tears of laughter off the corners of his eyes. He seemed to be smiling warmly at the young man. "It's been a very long time since I've heard such a positive spin on it, though I fear what that says about me." He bowed his head in appreciation. "Thank you, young man, for making this old fools day."

"Shihihi! No problem!" Luffy accepted the thanks with no resistance. Then his mind suddenly caught up with him, reminding him of his original goal. "Oh, shoot! I forgot what I was doing." He got off to running, waving back at the old guy. "Bye, old guy!"

The elderly man in the black uniform waved back with a kindly countenance, the weight on his shoulders seemingly lifted, or at least lessened considerably, as he watched the odd but kind young man disappear around the corner.

...

Only for him to poke his head back and look at him. "Oh, right! Do you know how to get to the place Gold Roger died?"

"The execution platform?" The old man tilted his head a bit to the side as he pondered. "I believe you go the way you were going, then after three blocks take a left and keep going forward. You'll end up there in no time."

"Oh, I get it now! Thanks, old guy! Bye, old guy!"

And then he was gone. The old man chuckled to himself and began walking the opposite direction.

"What a strange, yet invigorating fellow, that young man," he mused out loud as he went on his s bit more merry way.

"... Oh, shoot! I forgot to ask for his name!" The old man realized. Then he shrugged. "Oh well. Next time, if fate is willing."

 **-o~O-O~o-**

Why was he here? On a ship of the people who beat up his men and that by all rights were, and at some level still are his enemies? Why was he standing around on the rocky shoal, in the pouring rain? And why, in the name of all that was holy, was he made to fight something a measly as an overgrown cat?!

"Go get him, Arly!" the annoying voice shouted from a safe distance. As in, from the ship, peeking over the railing he was hiding behind.

"Don't call me that!" he snapped back, more animatedly than he'd was used to.

"I believe in you, buddy!" the fool shot his arm up high in what he must've thought to be an encouraging gesture. Arlong found it more irksome than anything. "Show that kitten a what-for!"

"WOULD YOU STOP HIDING!" Arlong turned to yell at the coward on the ship.

"Fuck no!" the audacious man snapped back with cheer that could only be to aggravate him further. "I'd get torn to pieces! ... And my gun isn't loaded."

"Then load it!" Arlong yelled.

"Bitch, do you realize how hard that is with one hand?!" Abel screamed back, this time with more real heat.

"At least you'd be of some use!"

"I am plenty of use, you blowhole! I make for amazing eye-candy!"

"Umm, excuse me, but could you not ignore-"

"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!" both of them snapped at the intruders, both the lion and the tamer flinching at the sheer animosity aimed at the animal-tamer duo of Buggy Pirates in that single instance. Richie and Mohji both broke into cold sweat, despite the cold rain, and were soon enough once more ignored as the Fishman the guy wearing a dress kept yelling at each other.

They'd been ordered to burn the ship, but the first time Mohji had been scared off by an insane man wearing a dress. When he gathered himself to try again, with Ritchie this time, he was faced with something even more terrifying.

Despite thinking highly of their skills and strength, even Mohji and Ritchie knew not to tangle with someone as infamous as Arlong the Saw. Who was, for some reason, with the Straw Hats!

"Why are you being so difficult? All you need to do is beat up the big, bad kitty!" Abel yelled, pointing in the general direction of the large lion.

"I don't take orders from anyone, least of all you! You're a part of that Hammer's crew, this has nothing to do with me!" Arlong snarled loudly, baring his teeth.

"Then why the fuck did you get down there when I asked you to?" Abel cried out, incredulous. "I was nice about it and everything!"

"I was just done of waiting around in the rain, doing nothing and forced to listen to you!"

"Fucks sake! I am trying to be your friend, so stop resisting, you stupid mackerel!"

"What did you call me?!"

"A FRIEND!"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT AND YOU SURE AS HELL KNOW IT, HUMAN!"

"OH, SO NOW THIS IS A RACE THING, IS IT, YOU BLOATED PUFFERFISH?"

"To be fair, those insults aren't helping," Mohji quipped up before Ritchie could cover his master's mouth in terror.

"Silence, nobody!" Arlong snapped at the duo.

"Yeah, you've not involved in this anymore!" Abel yelled.

"I feel pretty involved..." Mohji sweatdropped, along with his lion companion. He was summarily ignored once more.

"Oh, this is so YOU!" Abel screamed at the heavens before glaring at the Fishman. "Always having to dig your heels in! Start communicating, for fuck's sake! Why don't you step out of those girly clothes, man up and start sailing on the S.S. Get Along!"

"Brazen words from a man wearing a dress!" Arlong insulted the cross-dresser.

"HEY!" Abel exploded with righteous fury. "FUCK YOU! I'M FABULOUS, UNLIKE SOME ASSHOLES!"

"Not from where I'm standing," Arlong muttered loudly, seeming to calm down somewhat.

Abel kept glaring intensely at him. "... Your hat is stupid and your shirt is tacky!"

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" Arlong exploded.

"SEE, MOTHERFUCKER? WE'RE NOT SO DIFFERENT, YOU AND I!" Abel yelled, pointing between the two of them with his good hand.

"I AM NOTHING LIKE YOU!" Arlong yelled back indignantly.

"SHUT UP AND BE MY FRIEND!" Abel responded heatedly, waving his good arm very animatedly, steam blowing out of his ears from frustration.

"... What the hell am I watching here?"

Mohji and Ritchie jumped to hold each other at the sudden, very much not their voice breaking into the shouting match. Even Abel and Arlong took notice and turned away from their heated debate.

The familiar faces of Nami and Usopp stared at them, one in confusion and one extremely annoyed.

"HE STARTED IT!" Abel screamed at the top of his lungs, fingering Arloing as the one at fault.

"I did no such thing," Arlong growled more sedately.

"I don't care who started it!" Nami roared at the both of them. "We've got a situation and we need to go, NOW!"

"FUCK'S SAKE, WHAT DID HE DO!?" Abel screamed at the sky.

"Marines," came Nami's quick and short reply. "Now shut up and help us get this stuff on board!" The order was punctuated by her jerking her thumb at the rather large sacks behind her and the sniper.

"YOU HEARD THE GIRL!" Abel kept yelling loudly. "CARRY YOUR WEIGHT, ARLY!"

"Stop. Calling me that!" Arlong snarled through gritted teeth.

"Why are you still yelling?" Usopp asked through his baffled stupor at seeing something as weird as Arlong of all people in a shouting match with the resident adult of all people.

"..." Abel didn't answer immediately, seeming to seriously contemplate on the question. "... I'M STUCK AT 'ANGRY'!" he yelled, yet again. "I'VE GOTTEN WAY INTO THIS MINDSET AND NOW HAVE TROUBLE SWITCHING OFF! PLEASE CARRY ON WHILE THE PROBLEM IS ADDRESSED!" He then punched himself, causing him to fall over and out of sight. "Better!"

Everyone present sweatdropped at the sight. When it became clear Abel wasn't getting up to help them(how _could_ he?) Nami took charge.

"Okay. Arlong, Usopp, get this stuff on the ship and prepare to go at any moment," Nami gave orders. When Arlong seemed to be about to say something, she didn't let him. "Right. Now!"

Arlong, a little put off by the sheer vitriol in his former cartographer's voice, just decided to shut up and do as told. This time. But before he could take more than two steps, a bullet sped right past him.

"Firing Squad! Take positions!" the marine in charge ordered as their men approached the pirate vessel, guns primed and ready.

"Damnit, they caught up!" Nami cursed while Usopp began to panic. The marines line up very quickly, weapons pointed at them three pirates on the shore.

"Take aim!" The marine in command ordered. "Fire-"

" **Doomsday!** "

His order was interrupted by a massively powerful explosion smack dab the center of their formation, the force of which threw every single marine on the ground while the blast itself suffocated their screams. The distinct miniature mushroom cloud made it clear who was responsible to those in the know.

"Kehehehee!" Abel laughed, his rifle perched on the rail of the Going Merry. "Damn it, if that isn't worth the hassle loading is!" He glanced at his crewmates and Arlong severely. "Hop to it! I ain't exactly in top form!" Then he ducked under, likely to load again.

The unlikely trio then rushed into action as the Marines were in disarray after the attack. Nami grabbing the lightest load(the clothes), Usopp handling the food, while Arlong took the two massive sacks containing the materials for Usopp and Abel, the heaviest of the lot.

As they were running for it, the marine in command tried to prepare for another volley of gunfire. "Every capable soldier, line up in formation! Prepare to fire at will! We mustn't let these criminals flee!" The less injured soldiers immediately started forming up like a well-oiled machine, their training showing. Within moments their formation was complete and guns ready. "Steady your aim! F-"

The oddly muffled sound of a gunshot was all indication of what happened as the marine in command fell over backward with a small hole in his forehead. This immediately caused the men in the formation great amount of distress.

On board of the ship, a certain person chuckled coldly. "Military strategy 101: Eliminate the commanding officers to disrupt the units below them," he recited with a slight murderous grin. He then ducked back down as Nami, Usopp, and Arlong jumped on board with their cargo.

Then the water near the ship splashed from a heavy impact, causing the entire ship to rock violently. It sent just about everyone, save Arlong who had a firm hold on the mast, tumbling helplessly.

"Shit, they have cannons!" Nami cursed. "At this rate, Merry is going to be sunk!"

Abel dragged himself up and looked over the edge, trying to pinpoint the canons locations. He frowned. "Damn, those are well hidden. I can't see them because of the rain!" If he could, then all he'd need is a Doomsday Round for each of them.

Nami hurried and began to raise the anchor, much to Usopp's disbelief. "Wait, you're setting off? But Luffy and the others aren't back yet!"

"We don't have much of a choice!" Abel replied in her stead, trying to load his gun in the midst of the situation. "If we don't book it, we're done for!"

"He's right," Nami agreed with the difficult to understand man. "As long as the Merry is fine, we can work up a plan. Now, everyone helps with the sails! Yes, even you, Abel!"

"Damnit to hell!" Abel complained but got to work due to the urgency of the situation, as another cannon ball just barely missed the ship, causing him to trip and fall on his face rather painfully. Nami honestly felt bad for him.

The large sail was soon unfurled and the ship started moving. But it was a slow start.

"Nami-san~!" A voice cut through the rain and the wind. Nami immediately recognized the swooning when she heard it, looking to see Sanji running by the ship on the shore.

"Sanji!" She exclaimed. "Where are Luffy and Zoro?"

Immediately the swooning disappeared, replaced by an annoyed frown. "Those two can handle themselves!" Unfortunately, the marines were quickly catching up and were upon Sanji in moments. The cook took to defending himself as well as he could, kicking any and all marines who got in his way, but they were persistent and many.

"He's outnumbered," Abel remarked coolly. "Those guys just keep getting up for more punishment. That's kind of badass."

"Abel, don't compliment the enemy!" Nami reprimanded the man.

He scratched his chin thoughtfully. "The law is my enemy? I mean, I'm a rebel and all, but I never thought I'd be on this side of the fence. Quite the paradigm shift."

"We don't need your bargain bin philosophizing! He needs help," Nami screamed at the infuriating individual that just couldn't pick a mood.

"I can cover him if we got closer!" Usopp offered up, only to be shot down.

"We can't, the tide is too strong to return to shore!" Nami rebuked the idea.

"I might accidentally hit him in that chaos," Abel quipped his own thoughts on the situation, sounding way more detached than a sane person should. "The rain is really fucking with my aim at this distance."

"We can't just leave him there! He'll get overrun!" Nami stated, a slight panic settling in her tone.

"Damnit all..." Usopp hissed through his teeth, propping his leg on the railing and fully preparing to jump off to be of some help. That is if a hand hadn't clasped onto his shoulder part way.

"Wait," Abel said, now in a serious tone. "I got an idea." He then walked off- Nami and Usopp watching him all the while -and stopped by Arlong. The two had a staring match in silence that honestly made both of the observers nervous. "I won't call you Arly-" he ignored the growl from the Fishman "- ever again. I also won't call you any other embarrassing nicknames. I, Cain Abel, swear so on my name."

"..." Arlong glared at him for a moment before breaking eye-contact, walking over to pick up the Kiribachi, his massive saw-like sword and promptly jumped over the edge into the sea with a splash.

Abel just turned to look at his two crewmates smugly, arms on his hips and chest puffed up in pride.

"D-d-did you j-just..." Usopp asked in quivering awe.

"Yes," was all Abel said. Nami just buried her face in her palm.

"Whatever," she said in a defeated tone. "Let's just get the hell out of dodge! We'll figure things out after we're out of cannon range."

Her, Usopp, and Abel hurried to take positions, Abel taking care of steering as an excuse to avoid hobbling around in the rain. An excuse Nami was too busy to have problems with.

Meanwhile, on the shore...

"Damn bastards," Sanji grumbled, kicking another marine in the face, followed by kneeing another in the gun with enough force to send them flying a few feet. "They just aren't letting up."

Compared to Sanji, these marines were nothing. Just small fry. But even small fry get dangerous when they surround you and outnumber you by a lot. The fact that some kept getting up was making things less than ideal for the cook.

"Stop resisting, pirate!" one of the marines ordered. "If you come peacefully, we will show leniency!"

Sanji scoffed, preparing for another assault from all sides. "Not happening, you shitty bastard!"

"Marines, get him-" and for the third time this day, the marine giving orders was interrupted by something springing out of the water. A metallic glint was all the marine could process before he and a number of others were swatted aside with great force as something rushed through their ranks.

Not questioning the turn of events, Sanji took the opportunity and kicked a few marines aside as he leaped out of the encirclement he'd been trapped in. Not far from where he now stood he spotted another person in a crouch. And that someone was holding a very strange sword he'd seen a few times.

"Why are you here, fish-bastard?" Sanji questioned the Fishman, not actually caring for his reasons for saving his bacon.

"Getting rid of an annoyance," came Arlong's answer as he stood up to his towering height, the saw-sword coming to rest on his shoulder.

The marines, for their part, were now a quivering mess.

"H-hey!" one stuttered. "Isn't t-that Arlong the Saw?"

"What is he doing here?" Another asked in minor distress. The Fishman in question scoffed at how his name preceded him. He hated to admit that the cross-dresser had a point about him being easily recognizable.

"W-we aren't prepared for this!" a marine cried in outright panic. Seemed like the sudden loss of a commanding officer had really messed with their morale. Something Arlong was fully willing to take advantage of.

"Shahahahaa!" He laughed cruelly, causing some marines to step back as he brandished his Kiribachi. "Of course you're not prepared! Marines like you are but mere insects compared to the might of a Fishman!" If there was one thing Arlong knew, it was how to frighten the weak-willed. He pointed the Kiribachi at the lot of them and sneered, showing off his predatory teeth. "Come now, who of you foolish humans want to be the first to foolishly sacrifice their life for my amusement?"

Sanji had to give the Fishman credit. The marines were quaking in their boots at Arlong's natural intimidating nature and infamous reputation. He had no doubts that they'd be able to take the marines on together. He still didn't like the Fishman, but he could respect his strength.

But the chance to fight never came as an unnatural outpour of wind swept over them, strong and forceful enough to force the two plus all the marines off their feet.

All Sanji could do was grit his teeth as the wind carried him off for a time until he suddenly landed harshly on a stone surface. It was much too smooth to be the shoal he and Arlong had stood on moments before. Sitting up, he found himself amongst rubble and in Logue Town's sea side area. It was in shambles, likely due to the strong gale from before.

Sanji looked around and spotted Zoro, Luffy, and even Arlong within close vicinity. It was almost too convenient how that wind had brought all of them this close to one another.

"What the hell was that?" Arlong mumbled, standing up from his own bed of rubble.

"Don't know," Sanji responded, _really_ feeling like a smoke right now.

"Hey, what are you two doing here?" Sanji heard Luffy ask, confused. All Sanji could afford him was a shrug.

"LUFFY!" the voice of Nami came from a distance, where everyone could still see the Going Merry bouncing on the strong waves. She called out for them, and it didn't take Sanji long to understand why.

"Nami!" Luffy shouted back.

"We need to think fast before they drift too far for us to reach!" Sanji spoke up with the urgency the situation deserved. Much to his surprise, Luffy's eyes shone in a very un-Luffy-like fashion.

"I got it!" He exclaimed and ran off, jumped and grabbed onto a nearby metal railing, his arms stretching. " **Gum-Gum**..."

"Shit..." Zoro whimpered(though he'd never own up to it), having a bad feeling of where this was going.

"He wouldn't," Sanji tried to convince himself and failed. "H-hey, where are you going?" He then saw Arlong walk away at a brisk pace and jump into the sea.

" **ROCKET**!"

Just in time for Luffy's elasticity to shoot him off into the air, along with the swordsman and cook, sending them flying in the direction of the ship. Thankfully, instead of overshooting the mark, they were caught by the sail and fell onto the deck.

Eyes closed in anticipation for the impact, Sanji quickly noted that his landing was... surprisingly soft.

"Aaaaaaaaah..." Something wheezed from underneath him, causing him to open his eyes and look beneath him, only to see a very familiar body underneath.

"Oh. Sorry, Usopp." Sanji says in a sorry-not-sorry way and promptly gets up. He got garbled nonsense in return.

"Glad you gaggle of tards managed to join us!" They heard the voice of Able yell from the steering lever. "If one of you wants to give this a go, I won't object!"

"I'm sorry?" Nami shot a snappish question in his direction. "I was under the impression you wanted that task."

"Girl, I am trying to steer a ship. In a storm. With one hand," was the man's dry retort. "This isn't exactly easy!"

"I'll handle it," the crew's swordsman volunteered and walked off to the wheel.

"Thanks, Zoro!" The whole ship lurched suddenly but was back under control within moments.

"H-hey, don't let go of it!" Zoro exclaimed.

"Mhm," Abel hummed a non-reply, joining the rest on the lower deck. "... Say, where's the big guy?" Coincidentally, Arlong took that particular moment to shoot out of the sea and land onto the deck right behind the cross-dresser, causing him to once more fall on his face. "... Whuih?!" he mumbled an annoyed complaint into the planks.

Arlong scoffed at the man's pain and went to sit on the deck as far from the others as he could.

"Woo! We made it!" The ever energetic captain celebrated, throwing his arms up victoriously.

Nami let out a long sigh she'd been holding for a while. "That was way too close for comfort."

"I thought it was fine," Abel said, getting up and standing tall. Something Nami drew instant attention to.

"Hey! You're standing just fine without you crutch!" Everyone took a look at Abel at the navigator's exclamation. True to her words, reality showed the chronicler standing on his own two feet.

"Oh, that? Yeah, my leg's been fine for a few days," Abel said, scratching the back of his head.

"They've- YOU'VE BEEN PRETENDING THIS WHOLE TIME?!" Nami shrieked in disbelieving anger.

"Yeh!" The cross-dressers audaciously frank response didn't do much but fan her growing wrath. But Nami knew better and made the herculean effort to calm her mind.

"And... And I dread the answer, but... May I ask why?" She asked as calmly as she possibly could.

"T'was funny," Abel replied with a jovial grin. At least, until the expression shattered into one of shocked realization and his hand came to bury his face in what seemed like shame. "Ah, damnit! I keep doing that." He mumbled something else into his palm that was just plain unintelligible.

Nami frowned at this odd shift. Then the conversation with the _bombshell_ \- Hari, came back to her.

 _'Acting is all about becoming someone you are not. And this someone sounds like they've kept up an act for so long that they don't quite remember who they are supposed to be anymore.'_

And suddenly Abel's sudden floundering made more sense. He must've been an utter mess, unable to place what kind of person he was supposed to be. After the realization, Nami found it very hard to maintain her anger at the man.

Abel sighed and let one eye peek out from behind his hand. "BTdubs, my arm is fine too," he said, waving his cast around. "Someone help me get this off!"

"Okay, no," Nami stated firmly. "Your leg I can believe, despite your kneecap getting shattered, but there is no way your arm is all healed up."

"Wasn't that bad," Abel pouted. Actually, honest-to-God pouted. And it was... pretty cute, actually.

"Your forearm's bones snapped in half!" Nami pushed on.

The so called adult of their group glowered at her, but she didn't give his stare any ground to stand on, glaring back with her serious face. After a moment he let out a defeated sigh. "Okay, so my arm isn't all good," He admitted through gritted teeth. "But it's healed enough where I don't need this garbage anymore if I'm careful." He tapped his hard cast in emphasis.

Nami raised an eyebrow, much to Abel's annoyance.

"Okay, what the fuck? Do I look like the type to break their arm again? I am not that stupid!" he stated indignantly. "I value my health! I thought this was obvious?"

"Okay, okay! I get it," Nami raised her arms in surrender, clearly not getting any further here. "I believe you." Miraculously enough. Liar or not, Nami knew Abel valued his personal health above other things. Whatever that said about his character was best left unsaid.

"Thank you!" Abel said sedately, turning to walk away. Only to freeze a moment later. "Wait, shit! Those are still here!" he pointed towards the bags full of cargo. "That means everything is getting wet! Quick, someone helps me save the clothes!"

Nami sighed. "Of course that is what he focuses on." Still, she cracked a small smile. It was amusing in its own way, his seemingly earnest dedication to fashion.

But something needed her attention for now.

"Zoro!" Nami called out to the swordsman on the wheel. "Do you see the lighthouse nearby?"

"... Yeah!" Zoro replied after some searching. "What about it?"

"That is a signal that points towards the entrance to Grand Line," Nami explained. "Steer the ship towards the path the light is pointing!"

"In this storm?!" Usopp exclaimed and was whacked on the head.

"Keep hauling!" his taskmaster ordered. "A little wind never hurt any one. This drizzle is nothing!"

"That's the way to Grand Line?" Luffy asked, excitedly hopping in place near the railing, looking at the lighthouse in the distance. "This is it, huh? Where our adventure begins?"

"Yup!" Nami said with a grin, which Luffy met with equal force, and so much more. The boy captain stood tall and proud, addressing each of his crew.

"Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji, Abel!" He yelled out, each of them paying attention. "Let's go! To the Grand Line!"

"Of course, Captain," said Zoro with a smirk as he turned the wheel to guide the ship towards the correct direction.

"Sure, thing," Sanji replied, surely taking a drag from his cigarette if it wasn't raining.

"R-ready when you are!" Usopp exclaimed, trying to sound brave and eager, and somewhat floundering.

"Leave the navigation to me!" Nami said proudly.

"Kehehe!" Abel laughed in his usual slow cackle that was just slightly unnerving. "I find it hard to believe that I'm actually looking forward to this." He placed an arm on his hip and flashed a feral, toothy grin. "Let's see what madness I've signed myself for!"

Monkey D. Luffy just laughed loudly at his crew's responses.

 **-o~O-O~o-**

From his spot Arlong just observed the madness of the crew whose ship he was on, staying in his own bubble of solitude. The swordsman was at the helm, focused on his task of steering, Nami making sure he didn't stray from the course. The long-nose and the okama were somewhere indoors, and the boy captain had disappeared somewhere.

That just left one unaccounted for.

"Hey."

Arlong glanced to his side to see one of the members of the crew. The cook, if Arlong wasn't mistaken. The young man looked at him with an unreadable expression.

"Thanks," the cook said evenly. "It might get a bit hairy with those marines if it wasn't for your intrusion. So thanks for that."

Arlong frowned. Was the human thanking him? That was something he definitely wasn't used to. It felt... strange.

"Just to be clear, that doesn't mean I'm going to start trusting you," the cook said, a serious look taking place in his visible eye. "I'm still keeping my eye on you for hurting Nami-san, you fish-bastard."

Arlong stared at that serious conviction his glare showed with his impassive one. There was strength in that one look, strength even Arlong could respect. "... Noted," he grumbled.

That seemed to satisfy the cook, who nodded at him once and walked off inside the ship. That left Arlong back with only his thoughts to keep him company.

He looked to his side, where the Kiribachi was put to rest. It had been ages since he'd last even thought of using the blade he'd carried ever since joining and later leaving the Sun Pirates. Back when it was used to cleave ships apart and shred his foes to pieces. And today he had picked it up again, to help a human at a request of another human.

That human... The one named Abel was an odd one. A weak, pathetic creature, who admitted to such a demeaning reputation. A pathetic weakling that, against all reason and logic, had overcome Arlong as if it was nothing but a simple puzzle. As much as it annoyed Arlong, he had been rightly beaten.

By all rights that should've been it, with Arlong just left there, immobilized by a poison. But then the man had started to, of all things, lecture Arlong. Somehow, thanks to that book he'd seen the man carry, he'd learned of Arlong past. And then... Arlong didn't know how to describe it.

For a moment, it was as if the man's words had grown so powerful that Arlong's mind was forced to listen to every word. To internalize and let them stick, instead of ignoring them like he might've done. Abel had forced him to face something he'd been lying to himself with for a long time. How his actions impacted his whole race in a negative way.

But that wasn't all it made Arlong's mind realize. And it was that thought, that one realization that had made all the difference, and just shattered his spirit. What he'd done for years, to the island, to Nami. What he'd planned to do to all of East Blue if he hadn't been stopped.

He'd been on a road to being just like the Celestial Dragons he despised more than anything in this world. A bunch of self-entitled bastards who thought everything belonged to them because it was their right.

The realization shook and disgusted him. It made his stomach churn and made his heart grow heavy. What would Fisher Tiger have thought of what he had been close to becoming? He would've been dismayed, of that Arlong held no misconceptions.

That was part of the reason he'd chosen to disband the Arlong Pirates. Because the whole thing had been corrupted, nay formed by that very same ideal. Like a festering limb, Arlong had decided to cut if off. But that choice, which he did not regret in the least, had left the Fishman with nothing. No crew, no allies, no nothing.

... Except...

 _'SHUT UP AND BE MY FRIEND!'_

Arlong's brow furrowed. Friends? With a human? That was another first, and that made him feel equally strange. The old Arlong would've scoffed and felt insulted by the very idea. But the current one...

"Well, someone's frowning more than usual." The voice broke Arlong from his depressing thoughts. A glance showed it was the source of all his current problems. "Whatcha thinking, Arly?"

And like that, as if a switch had been flipped, he was mad again. And that anger was channeled into a fierce glare. "You..."

"Huh?" Abel tilted his head, sounding confused. A momentary look of thought crossed his face before it faded into a smug grin. "Oh, that. Yeah, I did promise on my name to stop calling you that, didn't I?"

Arlong grunted in response. Somehow his grin took even more smug qualities.

"Well, Abel Cain made that promise," he said, amusement clear in his tone. "I never broke any promise made in _my_ name, now did I?"

Arlong raised a brow, faintly perplexed at what the okama was talking about.

"I knew it," another voice spoke up, the swordsman walking over to the two. "Abel... that's not your real name."

"Well, duh!" The man who called himself Abel answered frankly. "Aren't you supposed to steer the ship?"

"The course is fine, for now," the navigator cut in, joining the conversation. She didn't look at all amused at the new revelations. "So, I see you've been lying to us again."

"Yup," Abel confirmed, as frankly as usual.

"..." Nami took a long, calming breath. "Might I ask what your real name is?"

"Adam."

"Damnit, I thought so-" Nami started off annoyed before freezing in place to level a stare at the man. "Huh?"

"Adam," the cross-dresser repeated himself. "My real name is Adam. You don't have my permission to use it."

"And why's that?" the swordsman asked.

"Because it breaks character," the man known as Abel casually stated. "Tell you what, if you ever see me around without a dress or a wig, you can call me Adam. All other times I am Cain Abel, the fatal yet pretty lady-boy."

Nami sweatdropped. "Is everything acting to you?" she asked before shaking her head and seeming exasperated and annoyed. "What am I asking? Of course it is!"

Arlong didn't add anything to the conversation. Mainly because he didn't want to. Though that made him think back to his... less than graceful shouting match with a man who likes wearing women's clothing.

 _'Start communicating, for fuck's sake!'_

True, he'd been less than... active in this... whatever this was that the cross-dresser was trying to do with him. Arlong just didn't believe there was point in trying. It wouldn't make a difference, he told himself.

Yet, his mind told him something else.

 _'What a coward thing to say.'_

"So, I see your cast is off," Zoro noted while Arlong kept thinking.

"Oh. Yeah," Abel said, giving his newly freed right arm a modest flex, clinching the unused muscles. "Feels a bit off, not to mention slightly sore, but as long as I don't do anything too crazy it should be good."

"Thank God for small miracles," Nami mumbled.

"I take offense to that," Abel spat but quickly moved onto something else. "By the way. Zoro. About that-"

"I got it," the swordsman said. "Didn't take you for the type."

"Well, I am a man of many facets," Abel responded rather smugly. "I'll check it out later. When the weather clears up." He then turned his gaze skyward. "Hmm, now that my dress is utterly drenched, this is a good excuse to check my wardrobe..."

Abel slowly turned to look at Nami with a very frightening look.

"I brought you your damn clothes, stop looking at me like that!" Nami snapped at him.

"Oh thank you!" Abel trilled, doing an instant mood-shift to one of joy. "I was worried for a second that you'd snub me because... well..." and then he grew awkward as quickly.

"... Let's just say I had time to think," replied Nami enigmatically. "And I also found a shop that sold wigs, just so you know- AH!" Nami squeaked as she was pulled into a forceful hug, her head planted on the cross-dresser's chest to be mercilessly cuddled.

"Oh, I just knew I could count on you, Namikins!" Abel said in a tone that was too overbearingly happy to be fully genuine, yet did appear to be so. "This is why you are my favorite gal!"

"Please let me go," Nami glowered, but let Abel have his moment. In fact, she couldn't hide a barely restrained smile tugging at her lips.

Arlong frowned. It came to him that he'd never seen Nami smile. On some level, he'd always know that every smile and grin made in his presence had been fake. And in hindsight it was obvious. He'd taken the life of her mother, after all, her family.

Family. That was another thing that got Arlong thinking of things long untouched. He'd never really known his family. He'd never properly known his mother. His father abandoned him early on, only reappearing to drop some other child of his on Arlong and nothing else. If that had actually been his father. Arlong couldn't recall the face of the man, so it was possible.

The closest he'd ever had to a family was Shyarly, his supposed half-sister. And Arlong did care for her, that was a fact and he'd kill anyone that claimed otherwise or dared to harm her. He didn't blame his father's absence on her, she too had been abandoned, after all. But in a family, as broken as theirs that caring only took them so far. Growing up in the Fishman District didn't help matters at all.

But, problems aside, he still had a family, albeit a small one. A little sister, blood be damned. A sibling who, despite their differing opinions, was dear to Arlong, as were the rest of his race to a lesser degree. Maybe that line of thought made his mouth take initiative without his full consent.

"I'm sorry."

The silence following the words was deafening. Aside from the rain and the raging wind, all three humans in near vicinity just stopped. Abel had stopped while teasingly pulling Nami's cheek. The swordsman stood as firm and stoic as usual. But one thing united them.

The shocked look in their wide(or slightly narrowed in the swordsman's case) eyes.

"Okay. Out of nowhere, much?" Abel broke the silence, releasing Nami's cheek from between his fingers.

But Arlong paid him no mind, a sideways glance staying at the familiar navigator. Then he averted his eyes and stared at the wooden deck as if it were more interesting. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, voice tinting ever so slightly with discomfort at such a foreign thing as _apologizing_. "For... your mother."

Now every human's eyes really bugged wide open. Arlong gave a fleeting glance at them that chose to linger at Nami opening and closing her mouth like a fish. Trying to release words, only for nothing to come out. Despite realizing it might be considered inappropriate given the situation, Arlong found it very amusing.

"Y-you... I..." Nami helplessly floundered with her mouth, eyes darting all over the place. "... I need to go." Then she turned heel and speedily walked away. Somewhere that was far, far away from Arlong.

The two humans and a Fishman watched her sudden leave. The swordsman just shook his head with a slight frown. "I'll go help Usopp sort out the cargo." He said and headed to the insides of the ship.

"Uh, yeah. Do that," Abel called after him, sounding somewhat off-balance. Then he did his thing and just changed into a smugly grinning annoyance, leering at Arlong. "Kehehe. What's this? Was that sentimentality just now?"

It said something to Arlong himself rather than the man before him that he didn't snap back a biting response. The ensuing 'enthusiastic' pats on the shoulder did elicit an aggravated growl though.

"Oh, I knew you could do it!" Abel said joyfully. How genuine it was, Arlong- hell, no one couldn't tell. "See, I knew your festering heart wasn't made of stone!" He then switched to be more sedate, his smile less smug and more sagely. "After all, hearts made of stone don't fester in the first place."

Simplification: Arlong cared. And, as he was finding to be the new trend, he couldn't think about the man's words as anything but true. Something about his words just made them... resonate where otherwise they would have just bounced off.

"... Hrm," Arlong grunted, not quite able to form a proper response and watched as Abel shot him a grin a merrily skipped away. But not before slipping on the wet deck and groaning into the wet wood. That caused a very quiet chuckle to bubble in the back of his throat.

It seemed that _something_ didn't want him to live a pain-free existence, judging by his various mishaps thus far. Arlong swore, that human got hurt more in a casual setting doing nothing than in the middle of a battle. It was... sort of an impressive feat, he supposed if you thought about it.

Case in point, all the damage caused by their "battle" was mostly self-caused, and all afterward were results of his own carelessness. If Arlong didn't know better, he'd have thought the man wanted to get hurt.

Moments passed, just Arlong enjoying sitting in the rain. Being a species that could live in the water, a little rain was downright delightful. It was oddly soothing. So he just tried to relax.

But, as it tends to be, all things come to a momentary end when something more interesting comes along.

"... Zoro, I'll bite. What's with the barrel?" Abel's question brought Arlong back from the confines of his mind, just as the swordsman laid a barrel smack-dab middle of the deck.

"Something I thought up," the swordsman(Arlong really couldn't recall the names of these humans, aside from Nami and Abel) said. "I recalled a little old sailor tradition, and since we're heading to the Grand Line..."

"Oh! Oh! I know this one!" the hammer exclaimed excitedly, literally jumping into the scene from wherever he'd been. "Yosh, let's do this! Gather up, everyone!"

Soon enough Nami, the cook, and long-nose joined the three other crewmembers around the barrel.

"Okay, for those uninitiated in seafaring tradition, what is this thing about?" Abel said a very thinly veiled question to hide his own ignorance.

"It's really simple really," Nami explained as if lecturing a student. "It's an old tradition for when a crew embarks on a grand voyage, where each member affirms their dream and goal with the rest of their crewmates."

"Oh," Abel said in understanding. "Yeah, now that I have context, my world had something similar. I think. Understood, Namikins!"

"Okay, I let you do that once. Never call me pet-names again!" Nami glared pointedly at the cross-dresser, who grinned viciously.

"I promise no such thing, for I am a miserable pile of secrets!" He cackled.

Something the man said confused Arlong, and he wasn't the only one who seemed to have noticed.

"Wait, 'your world'?" The cook quirked an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh yeah," Usopp quipped in realization. "You don't know yet."

"What?" the cook asked again. "What does he mean?"

"It means exactly what it means," Abel replied in an obnoxiously unhelpful manner. "I'm not from these seas. I'm not from this world. "

"Bullshit!" Sanji snaps. "Like hell, I'd believe such nonsense!"

"Actually..."

Sanji looked at Nami, shocked and looking slightly betrayed. "N-Nami-san, you can't possibly..."

"Silly Sanji! Abel doesn't lie," the hammer-captain stated matter-of-factly.

"Hey, let's not get ahead of ourselves here!" Abel protested indignantly, for some reason Arlong couldn't pin as anything but actual pride at his untruthful nature.

"Abel isn't lying, Sanji-kun," Nami spoke up. "He's proved his claims sufficiently to us before we met you."

Arlong's brow quirked up. The man was speaking the truth about such an audacious claim.

...

Then again, thinking back to it, apparently he also held a book containing his life story, so what is one other impossible thing on top of that.

"Okay, as much as I like the attention," Abel cut into the situation and gestured at the barrel ahead of them. "If it ain't that different from what we had back home, the captain goes first, right?"

The hammer grinned widely and nodded, lifting his leg and planting it on the top of the barrel. "I'm gonna be the King of the Pirates!"

Arlong recalled that claim when the brat had barged into his h... former residence/base and brazenly punched him in the jaw. He failed to see what the brat could hope to achieve in his time. They wouldn't be prepared for Grand Line, and they would soon learn that.

Next up was swordsman, following his captain's example, leg joining his on top of the barrel. "To be the World's Best Swordsman!"

Then Nami followed up. "To draw the map of the world!"

The cook was next. "To find All Blue."

"I- I..." Long-nose, was next, sounding less assured of his claim and hesitated a bit before planting his foot on the barrel as well. "T-T-To become a b-brave warrior of the seas!"

Arlong listened by for all these ambitions. They were all quite hefty goals to drive towards. What a bunch of arrogant brats, to think they had a chance in a place as cruel as Grand Line!

"... What the hell is with today's youth? Such grandiose aspirations," Abel complained to the pouring heavens, sounding like an annoyed old man. Arlong could relate. The crossdresser let out a sigh. "Well, I suppose I do have a dream, though nothing big like yours. I'm a modest man-" _That_ was a lie if there ever was one "-so I'll settle for something simple, but considering my situation, all the more difficult to achieve than any of yours."

Arlong quirked a brow, again, at the odd proclamation. Everyone else's eyes were set on their chronicler in anticipation, but none as intensely as the hammers.

Abel lifted his left leg and placed it on the barrel with the rest. "To live a long, fulfilling existence that I can be proud of!"

Ah, now his claim made more sense. Considering Arlong had firsthand knowledge of how frail and pathetically weak the dress-wearing man was, that would certainly be quite the feat. The looks from the other crew seemed to come to the same conclusion, all trading out understanding and determined smiles.

Arlong's eyes widened just a bit as, for a moment, he felt that there was something _greater_ present in the moment that was something that existed only at that precise moment in time. It was a new, foreign, yet oddly sobering feeling.

"LET'S GO TO THE GRAND LINE!" the hammer-captain exclaimed.

"AYE!" everyone else chorused as every member of the crew raised their legs and as one brought them down, shattering the barrel to pieces.

Arlong knew of this ceremony or course. The breaking of the barrel representing the crew uniting to defeat adversity. A touching sentiment, sure. But the Grand Line didn't much care for sentiment.

Also...

"Uh..." Nami spoke up suddenly, eyeing Abel, whose face was very oddly static. "Abel... what's up?"

Abel slowly knelt down and held his left leg. Or more precisely, his left kneecap. And then he whined in a very high-pitch voice. "Ahhh... Aaaaaahhh..."

"I FUCKING KNEW IT! YOUR KNEE ISN'T FULLY HEALED YET!" Nami yelled, vindication clear in her anger. "You're getting your ass to bed to rest!"

"... So, wait, the only place with actual beds in here is..." Abel wondered, dropping all indications that he was hurt. He then leered at Nami with an unnaturally wide and stoic grin. "Oh, how _naughty_ of you~!"

"..." Nami glared daggers at the man but deflated with a deep sigh. "Whatever, just... get some rest, okay?" She sounded genuinely worried for his health.

Abel's expression flipped into a more sincere one, the gentle smile he put up appearing genuine. "Yeah, sure. Need to get changed anyway out of this mess before I get cold." He then tried to walk and failed to do so without almost tasting the deck once again, so Nami helped him back inside.

The rest of the crew dispersed to do their own thing, while Arlong went back to thinking. Every single one of these brats had a goal, a dream they wanted to achieve. What had just happened had caused him to ask himself a question. A question he wasn't sure he had an answer to.

What was his dream?

 **-o~O-O~o-**

 **-Moments after the Straw Hats' Escape-**

Marine Captain Smoker was extremely displeased, though that was hard to differentiate from his usual prickly mood. But it did make the atmosphere around him noticeably tenser.

Straw Hat Luffy had been right there! He had been at the mercy of justice, in Smoker's firm grasp. And then 'That Man' had arrived and ruined everything. He didn't know why. Smoker couldn't even begin to guess at the motives of the most wanted man in the world.

All he knew, all he needed to know, was that Straw Hat and his crew were escaping from him, the famed Smoke Hunter. A massive hit to his pride as a marine.

So he thought he had plenty of reason to glare murderously at the sight of the ship that grew ever distant in the stormy weather. If it wasn't so damned windy then he could've tried to fly after them with his Smoke-Smoke Fruit, risks be damned! This was personal now.

"Captain!" Smoker didn't avert his gaze at hearing the call of his subordinate. "I'm so sorry, I tried to stop them, but I-"

"Tashigi!" Smoker cut the woman off. She shut up and stood attention. "I couldn't care less for your failures at the time. It has happened, so stop beating yourself over it and focus on the present situation."

Tashigi's face grew firmer as she saluted in acknowledgment. "Yes, sir!"

"Harsh words, though no less true."

Smoker turned at the voice he had grown used to for the past few weeks, long enough to memorize it. Though maybe he should focus more; he hadn't heard the man approach him. "It'll mean little. Master Chief Petty Officer Tashigi, go gather the men and prepare a ship for pursuit!" To hell with it not being under his jurisdiction, his everything was telling him to capture that boy pirate!

"Yes, sir!" Tashigi ran off with obedience and professional pride that Smoker expected of his subordinate. It almost made him sentimentally proud.

Almost.

"Well, this detour of mine sure was more eventful than I'd imagined," the old man spoke, walking to stand side by side with the marine captain. He was stroking his bushy gray beard. He sounded oddly whimsical, not the subdued elder Smoker had grown accustomed to. "I'll have to admit, this made my trip amusing if nothing else."

"Should I expect a report to Marineford at my failure?" Smoker asked conversationally, eyes never leaving the pirate ship. He wouldn't lose their trail even for a second.

"Oh, I don't see why!" the elder man said cryptically. He used a hand to slightly prop up his spectacles. "After all, you have a job to do, don't you, Chaser?"

Smoker held back an annoyed grunt out of respect. He really didn't like that nickname the old man had given him. "I'll capture Straw Hat Luffy. I'll stake my pride as a marine on it."

"As I'd expect from you," the elder responded. He then seemed thoughtful as he brushed his beard with his hand "... Straw Hat? So that's who that boy was."

"You ran into him?" Smoker questioned.

"Briefly. What an interesting individual," the elder nodded as if affirming something internally. "Oh well, I'll leave you to it. I'd best continue to Marineford anyway. On God's grace, I hope my paperwork hasn't started a revolt due to negligence! Hohoho! Hoho..." Something seemed to come to him. "... Oh, shoot! I sure hope Bradley won't have my head for my improvised leave."

So _that's_ what he called it now.

Smoker's brow raised just a smidgen. He hadn't seen the old man this amused at any point of his two-week long stay at Logue Town. There was still much, he reminded himself, that no one knew of the old geezer. Like why he wore that unusual uniform.

Commodore Das Messer was an enigma, but he was a very competent enigma. And a valuable asset to the Marines.

"Well, best of luck on your hunt, Chaser!"

"I'd appreciate if you didn't refer to me so casually, sir," Smoker grumbled. The old geezer just gave a short laugh and walked off with a casual wave before propping both arms behind his back. The old man's rheumatism was something Smoker could honestly sympathize with, especially after a long time doing paper work in an uncomfortable chair.

"C-captain!" Wonderful timing.

"Tashigi, I hope we're ready to pursue-"

"That's just it, Captain Smoker!" Tashigi cut Smoker off, very unlike her to do so, he observed. So he turned to look at his subordinate and saw... well, he didn't like what he saw. "The ships... the harbor... it's all frozen over!"

"WHAT?!" Smoker yelled, allowing surprise to get the better of his normally stoic character. "How can that be?!"

"I-I don't know, sir! It just... appeared and now all our ships are stuck!" Tashigi explained frantically.

Smoker bit the cigar in his teeth in half, the other half falling to the ground. He wasn't just annoyed anymore. He was confounded and livid.

Just what the hell had happened?!

 **-o~O-O~o-**

"That should help those marines chill out. Heheh, _'chill'!_ "

A figure stood atop the highest rooftop near the port area and gazed out at the stormy sea. His gaze was not random or one of whimsy(maybe), but directed at the lone ship that was slowly disappearing into the horizon. He hummed in thought.

"So that's how it is?" The figure mused, phantom-stroking his chin, hiding behind the impenetrable shadow of his hood. His body was hidden by a distinctive black coat. The harsh winds blew the chains attached to his garment but conspicuously made no sound.

The Shrouded Figure was finding this whole dilemma all the more interesting, as he gained greater clarity of the situation.

"Definitely another Outsider, no doubt about it," he said to no one. "I've got a feeling I should keep an eye on those ones in particular. Heheh, _eye_!" He shamelessly chuckled at his own a stupid joke.

He poked the side of his hood in thought. "Now, what to do?" The Figure wondered. "Certainly that lot would have... interesting experiences down the line. Oooor," he twirled his finger around for no reason other than to do so, "perhaps I could check to see if there are any other interesting things going on in this world?"

He thought a moment, but only a moment, before he shrugged his shoulder and shook his head animatedly. "Nah! To hell with elaborate plans! I've done enough of those already. I'm over that." He turned away from the sea and reached out with an open palm. "Let's just see where the road leads!"

Out of nowhere, the air ahead of him ruptured, as a shimmering corridor of darkness appeared before him. Lowering his hand, the Figure looked back at the raging ocean, just for the briefest moment, before walking into that darkness with a lighthearted chuckle.

Then, as soon as it appeared, the darkness vanished, and the Figure was no more.

 **-o~O-O~o-**

 _ **Oooh, what is this? Is it the author tipping his hand to give a glimpse of his cards? Unforeseen encounters AND a mysterious observer? How interesting!**_

 _ **This chapter was so hard! I swear I don't want to do multi POV chapters ever again. But something tells me I have to brace for the possibility. Anyway, I hope to have your intrigue, because... well, big things are coming. Eventually. Possibly. Maybe.**_

 _ **Not to mention this is the longest chapter I've written to date... Wow...**_

 _ **Anyway! The others have noticed/realized something about Abel. He's a very unreliable source of information. Everything you've learned of Abel up to this point?**_ **Might** _ **be a lie so good even he doesn't quite know if he's lying! Enjoy the ensuing uncertainty as it claws at your mind! MUAHAHAHAHAHAA!  
**_

 _ **Now, I wonder if people can properly identify the three individuals in this chapter and where they hail from? Shouldn't be too hard, I think. I'll only say that only Das Messer(which isn't a name, it's a**_ **title** _ **) is a fully original character.**_

 _ **-Poking That Canon With A Stick, C-Hablerie**_

 **PS.**

 **An important message from the FanFiction Mental Health Board:**

 **If your first thought after killing a person in cold blood is:** _ **"What a great strategic advantage this it!"**_ ** YOU ARE NOT ALRIGHT!**


	11. Chapter 11

_**Chapter 11: Disappearing Acts, Murder Needles, And Whale Mountains**_

"Your stance is disgraceful."

"Shut it."

"Your footwork is atrocious."

"Fuck off."

"Your form is too stiff."

"I do not need, nor have asked for your shitty opinions!" I snarl, getting tired of the running commentary.

I was currently taking full advantage of the fact that I could use my right arm again, and was doing what I deemed to be a fitting use of my time. I was now a pirate, and that came with some caviats. Namely that my life would now be in a propable assload of problems. Conflicts, fights, naturally bad circumstance...

I needed to do all in my power if I wanted to live up to the goal I'd set for myself.

 _'Live a long, fulfilling life? I'll be lucky to just survive to next week!'_ I sneer at myself. I'm not dismissive, just a realist. I still didn't have a full scope of what I was capable of versus what this world could throw at me, so I did al I could.

I trained. My mind was simple, and frankly unnecessary. I could lean on my natural intellect and the advantage being an elder brought me... No, wait! That makes me sound old. Forget about it. Mental training, fuck it!

There was my chemical acumen and crafting. Usopp and I had already started to collaborate and combining our strengths in these field. I was the superior chemist while he had a defter hand at the crafting part. Separate either of us was capable of more or less the same quality of work, but together we made the perfect combination.

Usopp wasn't as intelligent as me, though I could perhaps pin that on his young age and relative inexperience. But he had ingenuity I could admit I lacked when it came to working with his hands. He could make the most absurd garbage work, and I finetuned it for added effect.

We'd already managed to find a way to replicate my basic bullets. We could only make a few at a time and the process was time consuming, but that was better than nothing. We'd make it more efficient as we figured this stuff out.

I'd finally dismantled one of my Doomsday Rounds. Very, very carefully. Luckily, I didn't die from mishandling explosive material and Usopp and I got a peek at the components.

That's when the brick wall hit. Neither of us had any clue what the four chemical compounds the round contained were. I couldn't identify them, trust me I tried, and testing to figure it out could be... less than pleasant. So we decided to shelve the project on those until we had more data.

The Inferno Round I dissected next was even more nerve wracking. One wrong move and I could light the myself and the ship on fire. But if there was one thing I knew, it was how to keep my head cool under pressure, so I managed it.

Turns out that while the Doomsday Round is above our current capabilities, the Inferno Round was well within my area. The bullet actually contained three tiny vials of specific chemicals that, when combined upon impact and ignited caused a massive chain reaction with the surrounding air.

Best news of my life was that I had what I needed to make these chemicals! So I had my chem & crafts in the works.

But when I'd chosen to train myself physically, I'd jumped at the opportunity to start learning the weapon I'd had Zoro buy me. It was a rapier-style blade of a fair length with a round, runic-pattern engraved hand-guard. It was as stylish and elegant as it was practical. A lightweight close combat weapon.

I was great at long range, but I held no illusions that I could maintain that forever. Someday someone would get close enough. And without a close combat alternative, I was right fucked. I could only rely on my long-rifle that much.

"Loosen your grip and don't drag your feet."

And then there was THIS asshole!

"Okay, you know what, Zoro?" I said, dropping all pretense of calm and civility. "Would you kindly quit your backseat training? It isn't as if, I don't know, this style is entirely different than that... _thing_ you use!"

"Three Swords Style."

"I don't give a shit!" I snap. "Fencing isn't even fit for your sword type, so stop complaining about every little thing you see!"

"So?" Zoro says ad if I was missing the obvious. The nerve... "All swordsmanship stands on the same bedrock. If you want to be a great swordsman, you need to know the basics you make your own work upon."

"I don't aim to be a great swordsman, dip shit! I aim to be a passable one!" I defend my point with the ferocity of a wolf. "This is for when I'm in deep and my gun isn't an option. It's a backup."

He honest to god sneered at me. "If you intend to pick up the sword, I won't allow you to half-ass it!"

"Yeah, yeah. Swordsman pride or some garbage," I deadpan tonelessly, giving him a flat look before rubbing the bridge of my nose. "Damnit, I thought I got out of this shit after junior high... Look, if I want your assistance, believe you me, I will ask for it. Heck, I might do just that a bit later!" I raise the thin blade up and point it at the horizon. "I just need time to get used to the weight and the swords momentum before I start cementing a concrete style."

Zoro's eyes got less critical as he got what I was saying. "Oh, I see. You're being terrible on purpose to figure your blade out."

"Kinda harsh," I mumble, "but that's the gist of it. Of course I can do better, I know the basics of fencing just from what I've observed from ourside sources. Just won't be much good until I get comfortable with this thing." I give the large, shiny combat needle a once-over before placing it back to it's sheath that I'd incorporated into my combat harness.

"Done for today?"

"Yeah," I answer as I stretch my arms. "Kinda had a chance to figure things out during your stupid adventure."

"I really liked Apis," Luffy exclaimed, just hanging out. Actually, most of us were hanging out on the deck. Save for Arlong who was skulking somewhere.

"Yeah, she was nice," Usopp commented. "Really amazing that we got to see a real dragon!"

"Stupid. Adventure," I spat out my ire, ignoring the nonesense the boy spoke.

"You're just jealous you didn't get to be there," Nami quipped, reading a newspaper on a lounging chair.

"No, I chose to not be there because it was a STUPID. ADVENTURE!" I loudly enunciate. "We got enough trouble because you chose to fuck with the marines, _again_ , and I had to guard the boat."

"Arlong did most of the work," commented Sanji.

"Technicalities!" I snapped. The cook ignored it and took a puff of his cigarette. I grumbled, "Bad enough that I had record it into the log, now I get reminded of this when I specificallly try to purge it from my memory."

Fully prepared to leave that be that, I start to leave, but quickly remember something. I turn on my heels and saunter over to Nami. "Speaking of the log, I have a bone to pick with you!"

"W-what?" Nami asks, flustered at the sudden address. I continue unfettered.

"To be frank, I find the lack of detail in your log entries highly unprofessional," I said my piece, not allowing her to cut me off when she tries. "Certainly, there is a pragmatism to just logging things by day and location, maybe add snippets of what happened, but that's just lackluster! Where's the story telling and detailed reports of the adventure?" I shake my head. "I am so glad I came along when I did. At least now I can re-log most of them by using yours as a reference point."

"Could you not insult my work?" Nami asks while giving me a deadpan look. "Or do you want to complain more?"

"Nami, dear, I have plenty to complain wtihout you," I jest in good-fun. "And I am not insulting your work. I am harshy critiquing your work."

"So basically insulting my work."

"Politely!"

She raises her arms(much in the same way when I had noped out of the STUPID ADVENTURE!) and backed off. "Okay, fine! You can re-log it if you want."

"Great, because I'm going to be doing interviews," I say, gesturing at everyone present. And by that, I mean Nami, Luffy, Usopp and Zoro "I'll need to hear about where you were and what you did before I met you. I will refuse to make a fool of myself by not being the best chronicler I can be!"

Luffy, in particular, seemed eager enoug to regal me with his adventures. I thought I was plenty prepared to file the information away and write it down.

 **-o~O-O~o-**

I was not prepared enough and all Luffy left me was a headache as I tried in vain to follow his train of thought. I quickly made it a point to never let Luffy explain anything ever again.

Luckily I managed to gleam the basics from the other three. Much more easy to follow. I quickly implanted the information to memory to later be compiled into log entries.

I'm not sue if it was obvious, but I took my position as the chronicler _very_ seriously. I wouldn't just record this trip, I would write a fucking coherent story even if it killed me!

... I might need a bigger log book. Or a couple.

Anyway, after that was done I thought it was about time I do something to give back. These kids had done plenty for me, so it was about time I do something to help out aside from writing things down. And I had just the way to start!

Which is why I was looking for Usopp. At first I thought I could find him at our shared work space we called "Research and Development". And I did, because I am always right. He was working on something or other, but that wasn't important.

"Yo," I greet him. He goes to do the same, but I grab him by the collar and start dragging. "Zip it! We have a thing to do!"

"H-huh?" He stammers, too stunned to struggle. "What do you mean?"

"Well, just came to me that you are primarily a long-range fighter," I said airily, dragging Usopp's ass to the open air of the deck. "So I thought I'd show you something that could help you, if you can learn it." I let Usopp go and sat down out of anyone's way, crossing my legs underneath my dress.

Oh, I forgot about this bit! I was also really enjoying my expanded wardrobe. Nami had really come through! Right now I was wearing a hoop dress colored deep blue- specifically the same shade as lapis lazuli -that reached the knees with a simple, stylish black vest worn over it. The vest had yellow buttons to make it seem more fancy than it was. On my feet I wore black thigh-high heeled boots over grey stocking. My usual wig was changed from black drills to blue twin-tails that reached around my hip.

I liked the experimental hair color options amongst the wigs, and it matched my dress. All in all, I looked super cute! The first time I'd shown my new look, no one recognized me at first and Sanji got a nosebleed and started fawning all over me. Then he seemed to catch on, since he went pale with horror and passed out for a minute.

Poor boy. I'll have to remember to abuse his condition for my own amusement for all it's worth.

"Sit down, my student," I implore the curly-haired sniper, who promptly sits on his knees before me, japanese style. The really uncomfortable kind. With his back straight and rigid. "Okay, a bit more relaxed, please! You will need that comfortable position."

He complied and shifted to be crosslegged and more at ease. Still anxious though. "...What's this about?"

"Perfect question!" I say with a grin, entering 'teacher-mode'. "You see, seeing as you are a ranged fighter, like yours truly, I figured there was something I could teach you to make your role easier." I held out my hand and pointedly held up a finger. "However, this technique is not something so simple to learn. It requires mental fortitude, control of your mental faculties and the ability to let go of the world around you."

"Uhh..." Usopp mumbles uncertainly. I don't think he is catching what I am pitching. Better elaborate.

"I myself utilize this technique," I go on to explain. "I call it Faint, and it is an advanced meditation technique that distances the user's presence from the physical realm, making them harder to see with the senses of others."

He ponders on that, which is good. I can't just spoon feed him information, or else he won't learn. He needs to understand. "Well... I mean, I think I get what you mean, but at the same time..."

"Yes, it is a pretty complicated thing to just explain. Let me demonstrate." I lowered my hands onto my lap comfortably. "Just sit there, and after two minutes have passed, call Nami over from the wheel. Then you'll see what I mean. Understand?"

At his nod I smiled, then let my face fall blank as I closed my eyes and began the process. I didn't actually need the two minutes, I could fall into a sufficient Faint in just five seconds, but this was something I didn't attempt that often.

I didn't just want to showcase this technique. I wanted to amaze.

So I visualized myself and the world, two separate existences stitched to be as one with a myriad of connections. I saw the connections, and I cut them all.

 **-o~O-O~o-**

Usopp was confused. Abel had disrupted his work and dragged him off to teach him something that could help him. But he wasn't quite sure of what this demonstration was about.

Currently Abel was just sitting still with his eyes closed. Extraoridinarily still. Like, Usopp wasn't sure if he was even breathing, or if he had it under such control that the movements simply didn't show. Despite his confusion, Usopp followed Abel's instructions and waited.

It felt like forever until two minutes passed, or he so thought. Keeping time actively was hard without a clock. Still, when he thought the time was up, he did as he was told.

"Hey, Nami!" Usopp turned and hollered to the navigator on the wheel. "Can you come here for a second?"

"Sure!" The navigator called back and used used a nifty mechanism to lock the wheel to the set course before walking down the steps to the main deck. "What is it, Usopp?"

"Well, I dunno. Abel wanted you for something," Usopp answered honestly. Nami let out a short groan.

"Of course. Just what is he planning this time," she spoke in exasperation and looked around. "... So, where is he?"

"Huh?" Usopp tilted his head. "Nami, he's right he...re...?" Usopp's words stopped lamely as he turned back to gesture at Abel. Only, the spot he previously sat on was empty. "Whuh?"

"Usopp," Nami spoke testily. "Are you messing with me?"

"N-no, I swear he was here!" Usopp spoke hastily, scampering up from his sitting position. "I just looked away to call you, ten seconds, tops!"

"Really?" Nami asked dubiously. "Well all I saw was you sitting around by your lonesome." She looked to the side as a tick mark appeared on her forehead. "Although I will admit that this would be the type of thing Abel does."

"I'm not lying!" Usopp exclaimed, now feeling a bit indignant at all the doubt. "He was here! He was going to show me something and-"

"Whatever," Nami cut him off, just a bit harshly. "He's not here now. Forget about it. We've got a day or two before we reach the entrance to Grand Line, so do what you need to prepare."

With her piece said, she walked inside, mumbling something under her breath, leaving Usopp alone again. And how alone he felt. He was embarrassed at the whole event, and a bit hurt by Nami's disbelief.

But more than that he felt a bit betrayed at being abandoned like that by the man he kind of looked up to. It brought a bitter taste to his mouth that he didn't like at all.

Eyeing the spot Abel had inhabited with a deep frown, he shook his head and decided to go search for Abel later and give him a piece of his mind. But right now he wanted to finish up with some projects.

So he returned to the R&D to work.

 **-o~O-O~o-**

The rest of the day went fairly normally, everyone busying themselves with their own things.

Zoro spent the time training and maintaining his swords, as he did. Nami reviewed their course, checked the map to Grand Line and kept an eye on the weather. Sanji spent most of his time organizing the pantry to his liking. Usopp spent his time in his and Abel's workspace tinkering with minor projects and crafting some ammunition. Luffy spent his time wandering around and pestering everyone at random intervals, and once dragging Usopp fishing.

The only one who didn't do much was Arlong, who spent most of his time in his own company. Despite his small attempt at communication at the escape from Logue Town, he still stayed out of everyone elses way. Hell, Nami had gotten more obvious in her efforts to steer away from wherever he was. The only one to properly have dealing with him was Zoro when he'd asked the Fishman for a sparring match.

Arlong won out, but just barely due to his strength advantage. Zoro lamented that he still wasn't fully used to his new blades, espescially the Kitetsu. Arlong himself found out that he'd let his skills grow rusty over the past eight years. But aside from that, Arlong didn't do much besides reluctantly joining the others in the cabin to eat dinner(from a distance, of course).

Maybe that was why he was the first to notice.

"... Hmm?" Arlong grunted in confusion, recognizing that something was nagging in the back of his mind. That something was missing. As he eyed the room absently in an attempt to find what was bothering him enough to keep him from properly eating the(and Arlong hated to admit it) absolutely delicious human-made food.

That was when two thing happened. Arlong realized what was missing and, for the first time, actively addressed the Straw Hat's crew.

"Where is the okama?"

Everyone turned to the Fishman in surprise, as they'd quickly accepted that Arlong wasn't what you'd call a people- sorry, human person. For him to start a conversation with anyone whose name wasn't Abel was kind of special.

Zoro was the first to react as the thought seemed to sink in. "Hey, you're right! Where is that dress-bastard?"

"What?" Sanji asked, mostly himself. "I would've noticed, cause I set meals for se... wait..." He looked around at each meal, the five present crewmembers and the tag-along Fishman. He searched for dish number seven, but... "... What the hell?!" Sanji exclaimed, standing up in shock. He'd never misremembered an order, and certainly wouldn't forget to place a meal, even if that person wasn't present at the time.

Usopp frowned. "Wait, so if he isn't here..."

"Huh? Abel isn't here?" Luffy asked, miraculously able to talk with his mouth full of meat. A practiced art, no doubt. "Hadn't noticed. Weird."

"Okay, everyone," Nami called attention with a clap of her hands, "who has seen Abel today and where was it?"

"At morning," Zoro said. "During training."

Sanji shrugged. "Haven't seen him since he came around to snatch a bread I was about to eat. Was around the early morning."

"Dunno," Luffy said.

Arlong just shook his head. He hadn't had any run-ins with Abel today.

"Around morning. He was... uhh..." Usopp looked uncertain. "That's funny... I can't... remember."

"Oh, yeah, I remember that," Nami spoke up. "I was there too. When he'd ditched you." Ignoring the indignant 'Oi!' from Usopp, nami frowned. "So, wait. No one has seen Abel since morning?"

Everyone shook their heads, even Luffy, which caused Nami to look a bit distressed. "Wait, that's not possible! Abel always hangs around at least one of you at almost all times."

"He is annoying like that," Zoro commented coolly, but his frown indicated he too was a bit concerned.

"Extremely," Arlong growled, mostly to himself.

A tense silence befell everybody present, and even Luffy cued into the mood and stopped eating. They all traded some concerned and mildly confused looks.

"This isn't normal," Nami noted. "Not at all."

"The cutie-*Hack*-I mean bastard wouldn't miss a meal even if it killed him," Sanji noted, hacking violently at the minor slip of the tongue.

"Sanji's right," Luffy stated, the serious edge to his voice making him the center of attention. "We should go look for Abel."

"That's... actually a good idea," Nami uttered in slight amazement at Luffy using his brain.

"No one could miss Sanji's cooking unless they needed help!" the Captain then exclaimed, dead serious.

"And like that the moment is gone," Nami sighed. "But he's right. Let's spread out and find him!"

"AYE!" Everyone yelled(sans Arlong) and, for the moment left their food where it was and spread out all around the ship.

That is, until Luffy sprinted back in and stuffed all his meat into his mouth, swallowing all of it in a single gulp and then waddled his somewhat inflated form back out.

Arlong checked the deep recesses of the lower deck. Usopp checked out the R&D room. Sanji looked around the cargo hold. Nami took it upon herself to check the women's quarters(naturally). Zoro checked all over the place, getting lost and just wandering around. Luffy did much the same, just running all over the ship, shouting the cross-dressers name. Heck, Luffy even checked the men's toilet.

But when the crew and Fishman met up again at the main deck, the looks everyone bore were fairly indicative.

"...Nothing?" Nami asked hesitantly. Her presumptions were proven correct when everyone shook their heads rather solemnly. "But... how can that be? He couldn't have just disappeared!"

"..." Zoro looked uncomfortable and nervous for some reason. "Maybe he fell offboard?"

"No, impossible!" Nami shot his suggestion down instantly. "I've been on deck almost constantly. I would have noticed."

"Not to mention, as annoying as he is, the bastard knows better," Sanji reluctantly admitted. "He isn't stupid enough to just fall off and not call for help loud enough for someone to hear."

"... Maybe it's a prank?" Nami wondered out loud, partly to hide how panicked she felt on the inside at all this uncertainty.

"No." It was, surprisingly, Arlong who said that. He'd crossed his arms and looked to be in thought. "Not his style."

"The fish-bastard is right, as much as I don't want to admit it," Sanji agreed. "The guy's modus operandi is more focused on verbal assaults than this kind of stuff."

"How'd you know that?" Zoro asked, giving Sanji an odd look while his eyes strayed all over the place for some reason.

"Just something I noticed, shitty-swordsman!" Sanji snapped at him. "And what's up with you? You look like a guy about to go on an ervous breakdown."

"... Dunno," Zoro admitted, looking around. "Something just feels... off, here." The kind of off he'd felt when he'd touched and felt Kitetsu, only... different. Instead of _something_ it was like... a _lack_.

Nami seemed to be grasping at straws to figure out what was going on and turned to Usopp. "Okay, Usopp, if the timeline fits then you are the last one who claims to have seen Abel. Where was it?"

"What do you mean 'claims'?" Usopp challenged, but was deterred by Nami's glare. "Okay, fine! It was right in front of where I was sitting right over... uh, over... huh?"

Usopp looked all around the deck in open confusion. "That's weird... I can't remember."

"Damnit, Usopp," Nami muttered through gritted teeth.

"Sorry! I just... I don't-"

"Never mind!" Nami cut him off heatedly. "Fine, I'll try. This morning when I found you by yourself you were just over... over... what?!" She exclaimed and distress started showing on her face. "I can't... I don't remember? Why can't I remember?! This should be easy!" Her face contorted as she tried her hardest to recall that moment with Usopp, but just when she reached it it just...

"Nami-san?" Sanji asked, concerned when Nami started to shiver and holding her head with both hands.

"What is this?" She asked quietly. "Every time I try to recall... it just slips away. I should remember this easily! But I can't! I don't..."

"Yeah, I got that too," Usopp said, sounding off-put. "The memory just... I can't grasp it no matter how hard I try."

Zoro's brow furrowed. "Could this be why none of us noticed he was gone sooner?" He looked pointedly at Sanji. "Didn't you forget to make his dinner?"

"Well, yeah," Sanji grumbled at having to admit such a basic mistake. "I don't know, something just... "

"Hey, I'm confused," Luffy said, looking at everyone. "What's going on?"

"Some of us can't seem to recall that bastards presence," Sanji explained, thinking back to when he was setting the table. "When I set the dishes, I vaguely... remember thinking that six was the correct number. But I've never gotten the number of customers or their orders wrong, so that doesn't make sense."

"That, and I have had this feeling for a bit," Zoro adds, glancing about the deck. "Something feels strange here. On deck. Like there's... not exactly something, but a _lack_ of something."

"I don't get it," Luffy said, scratching his head.

"Well neither do I," Zoro admitted. "And doesn't that just beat it all."

"Damnit!" Usopp exclaimed in frustration. "All I can recall is that Abel wanted to show me something... what was it? Something about separation?"

Arlong frowned, feeling particularly useless in the moment. What was more shocking was that he was actually invested in looking for that missing annoyance.

"AAAARGH!" Luffy roared out of nowhere, taking everyone out of their respective thoughts. He then started to aimlessly running around in a wide circle. "I don't understand what Is going on! That makes me mad!"

"Luffy, calm down!" Nami tried to call out to Luffy, who just kept running and flailing his arms to vent his frustration. But before the situation could escalate, Luffy suddenly tripped on nothing.

"Huh?" The straw hat wearing boy said aloud, looking at the seemingly empty spot that he'd tripped on. At first he looked confused, squinting at the space, but then a wide smile replaced his frown. "Hey! Hey, everyone!" He called out to the others. "I found Abel!"

Every single person that wasn't the captain just tilted their head at the odd proclamation.

"Uhh, Luffy," Nami said, trying to not sound too confused. "There's nothing there."

Luffy frowned. "What? Yes there is! It's Abel! Look, look!" He pointed at the empty spot.

Everyone traded glances, all except for Zoro, who focused on his outward senses and then actually took a step back in surprise. "What the-!"

"What? What is it, Zoro?" Usopp asked what everyone wondered.

"... So that's what that feeling was," they heard Zoro murmur. "Everyone, look at that spot. Only, don't just look at it. Look into it."

"That makes absolutely not sense!" Nami shouted at the swordsmans cryptic nonesense.

"... Wait..." Sanji narrows his eyes at the empty spot, and also recoils somewhat. "What the hell?!"

"... How?" Arlong speaks up, apparently seeing what everyone else is, but much more in command of himself.

"What?" Nami and Usopp ask in unison. They share an uncertain look with each other.

"Just look really hard. Don't let your eyes fool you," Zoro said assuredly. "The four of us can see him now."

Sanji walked over to the spot and snapped his fingers in front of empty air, three times. "Guy seems to be in some kind of trance. No reaction."

"I don't understand," Nami mumbled, her tone showing confusion and a little fear. "There's nothing there!"

Zoro shook his head and kept looking at the supposedly empty spot. Only to spot Luffy raising his fist. "Wait, Luffy, don't-!"

" **Gum-Gum Tap**!" Luffy cried out and lightly swinged his fist at the empty air and- actually hit something, as to Nami and Usopp the limp form of Abel just materialized out of nowhere. The hit seemed to carry some force, as it knocked the blue twin-tail wig right off Abel's head.

"WHAT?!" They both screamed in shock.

At the same time the newly present Abel took a massive, hasty breath, as if he had been suffocating. He continued to heave on the deck, clutching his chest and looking quite harried.

"AAAH! Abel! I didn't mean to hit you too hard! Don't die!" Luffy panicked, shaking the poor man in some misguided effort to help, and was quickly pulled away by the combined efforts of Zoro and Arlong.

"H-hey, you okay Abel-chan?" Sanji asked out of genuine concern, ignoring the slip-up.

"W..." Abel said between gasps for air, voice sounding hoarse and dry. "Wa...water..." Sanji nodded and walked off. He soon returned with a wooden pint and a large pitcher of water, which Abel grabbed and drank ferociously.

The pitcher. He ignored the pint entirely.

"... I am so confused," Nami whimpered, the nonesense displayed this evening being a bit too much for her quasi-normal sensibilities.

"Me too," Usopp affirmed that the navigator wasn't alone in that mindset. "What the heck was that?"

"I don't really know, but I have an idea," Zoro spoke up, arms crossed across his chest. "His presence was suppressed to the point that our eyes and minds couldn't easily awknowledge him."

"More like-" Abel cut in with a few coughs. "M-more like severing your connection to the physical reality, making your presence faint and unimportant to the human brain, so it ignores you exist."

"Makes sense." Zoro nodded.

"The hell it does!" Nami yelled out. She turned her anger towards the still somewhat disoriented Abel and her expression softened. "Abel, are you... what happened?"

"Ah, yeah. Figured you'd want to know," He akwnowledged her question. Then a loud rumbling broke whatever mood was present. "But first, I kind of have missed, like, _all_ my meals today." He turned to the resident cook and changed his voice accordingly. " _Sanji could you, be a dear and make me something to eat. I am quite famished._ "

"Of course, my Dark Angel~!" Sanji crooned and started pirouetting to the kitchen area.

 _"Thank you, honey~!"_ Abel chimed after the cook with a sweet smile, who seemed to realize what he was doing and tripped, smacking his face on the doorframe. Abel dropped the facâde, smirking. "That never stops being funny."

Nami shook her head with a slight smile. "You're terrible."

"Not my fault he's weak to my natural beauty," he defended himself before turning serious with the flip of a switch. "Let's head inside. You all want to know, so I might as well tell."

...

"Hey, where's my wig?"

 **-o~O-O~o-**

I am such an asshole.

Everyone stares at me expectantly, and have been doing so for around 15 to 20 minutes. All while I I ate my meal as painstakingly slowly as I could, leaving the rest to wallow in their anxious anticipation.

All because the food was amazing and I felt like it.

"Aaaaagh, I can't take it anymore!" The breaking point comes- surprise, surprise .from Luffy, who is the patron saint of impatience. He's fidgeting around and holding his head as if it was going to fly off.

Then his stretfchy appendage zips into view and nicks my half-finished plate and dumping all on it into his pot-hole of a gullet. He looks satisfied with himself as I am left staring at the spot where my slice of food heaven had been just moments prior.

"Don't steal a lady's dinner, you shit-head!" Sanji exclaims in anger and kicks Luffy in the face. It does nothing but knock him over.

"Thanks, boy-toy~!" I wink at him, which makes him realize he'd slipped yet again. Sanjo promptly start smacking his head against a wall. Seems that I've created a severe complex within the confines of his soul. I cackle on the inside in amusment at my work.

Still, I clap my hands together in Japanese-style prayer. "Farewell, the dinner of my night. You will be missed until sunrise."

"Okay, that... _thing_ , aside," Nami speaks up first amongst the group. "I think you've messed with us enough, so why don't you explain just what the hell happened out there?"

"Don't you mean 'kept you in anticipation'?" I inquire in a passive attempt to rectify her error.

"Messed with," she reiterates, ignoring my hint. Then she shoots me this worried look you'd find on people who like dogs and see a starving puppy on the side of a road. "Please, Abel..."

... Fucking...

I take in a deep breath through my nose. "Fine," I give in. Then I grumble loud enough for it to be heard, "Why is everyone always guilt tripping me into shit?" I then straightened my back and crossed my fingers, placing them on the table to look more poised. "So... Where should I start?"

"Abel, you disappeared for almost an entire day!" Nami exclaimed. "And none of us could find you, but then you just suddenly appear out of some air Luffy punched!"

"Wow," I say, slightly impressed. "Only a day? _Lucky~!_ "

"Abel..." Nami's warning growl is awknowledge with a smirk. She narrows her eyes at that.

"By the way," I turn to thr rubber captain, "thanks for the wake-up call! It only somewhat hurt."

"No problem!" Luffy grins back proudly. "I thought hitting you was too hard, but slapping wasn't enough." He hit his hand softly into his palm. "So I tapped!"

"Thinking? Well, good for you," I say, Luffy completely missing the condecension. But he calls _that_ a tap? The side of my face still feels numb from it! "Anyway, enough digressing."

I start thinking on the best way to explain this. Because I will have to, or Nami will do something horrible and absolute unforgivable. Like staining all my clothes with paint that clashes horribly. The horror! THE HORROR! Won't someone please think of the designers!

Drama aside- because no, that is _not_ melodrama,-I set my thought in order and begin.

"Well, let's start at the begining. I was re-writing the log, as is my duty, when a thought occured that I should do something else to contribute than just scribbling stuff down. So as a way to do that, I figured I could teach Usopp here a technique of mine he might find useful, as it can be compatible with his style of fighting."

"So..." Usopp spoke up, sounding hopeful, for some reason. "That wasn't just a prank?"

"What?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. "No, 'course not!"

"Oh, okay" Usopp said, starting to smile a bit, which then turned into a confused frown. "So, wait. What were you trying to teach me?"

"Yeah... About that," I drawl on, just slightly embarrassed. "I kind of wanted to show off how cool and amazing I am, so I kind of... ocerclocked the technique I was going to teach you."

"Yoú mean that absurd disappearance trick?" Sanji asked.

"You were going to teach me that?!" Usopp yells in shock, leaning over the table.

"Hold your horses, Nosey!" I say neutrally, holding a stern expression. "What I did and what I was going to teach you are two massive leaps apart in both strength and complexity." I look to the side. "Not to mention less dangerous."

"D-d-dangerous?" Usopp stammers, thankfully sitting his ass back down.

"Okay," Nami says, looking very thoughtful. "Why don't you start at what the hell that... thing you did was."

"I must admit I'm interested as well," Zoro said. "That was some pretty intense meditation."

I nod. "Now, this is going to take some explaining-"

"Story time!" Luffy interrupted me, loudly, and shot his arms in the air.

"... Anyway," I continue, "I'm sure everyone here is familiar with what a wallflower is. But in case you don't, it's an expression used on someone or something that doesn't stand out much. They just sort of blend in whatever environment or crowd they are in. There is a thing known as the Wallflower Technique, where the user becomes as inconspicuous as possible to blend in with their surroundings to avoid attention

"What I do is a variation and an improvement of this technique that I created myself. I call it the Faint Technique. The basic idea behind the technique is to become less conspicuous to others, but I went and did one better," I hold my index finger up. "I made a technique that doesn't just make me less conspicuous, but hinders the perception of others."

"You made that skill?" Zoro asked rhetorically, wearing a grin that annoyed me for a myriad of reasons. "That very impressive. I guess you are good for something after all!"

"Fuck off, meathead," I brush him off neutrally. "Anyway, the basis behind this technique is pretty complex, so bear with me. You see, people perceive the reality before them through their senses, and a load of other minor connections. These connections are what anchor every living being to reality. It's a simple fact. The Faint was made to circumvent this rule."

I intercross my fingers and brace my elbows on the table, raising my hands to rest in front of my mouth. Like some sort of scheming bastard, or something. "You see, I theorized that by severing these connections to reality, one becomes less and less notable to those _perceiving_ reality. So I meditated until I managed to sever some of these connections, and the more I sever, the more difficult it is to actually pay attention to me The less I am connected to reality, the less I exist to those in it- and would someone dunk Luffy's nogging in water!" I gesture at the captain, whose face is red from some intense internal effort and- and I am not fucking with you -billowing vapor from his skull.

What. The actual. Fuck.

What is this, a cartoon- oh... wait. Looking at my hand and the texture of everything... I am in a fucking cartoon. I AM a cartoon! I can't believe it took me this long to figure out!

Suddenly I feel like I am about to start blowing steam out of my ears at the mental wreight train worth of What-The-Fuck, but I persevere and collect myself. I refuse to bow down to this shit.

No one does anything, so with great disappointment and blame directed at all of them, I take the reins. "Screw you guys."

"Hey, Luffy," I ask, "you okay there?"

His cheecks puffed up and he didn't answer my query in any way. He looked like he was really trying to figure what I said out, and it proved to be a foe he couldn't overcome.

"... It's a mystery skill," I tell him, visibly wilting from having to simplify my greatest creation into such simple and childish terms.

"Oh, okay!" And then he has the gall to go back to normal as if that explained everything. I've never felt more humiliated, and shame isn't even a thing I possess.

I groan very audibly and smack my face into the table and I don't get up. I don't wanna. Instead I keep speaking into it. "Anyway, Faint works by severing your ties to reality. Sense of smell, touch, sight, hearing, taste. Sense of motion, sense of time, sense of spatial awareness, sense of danger, pain. And a buttload of other minor but integral things. It's all about cutting yourself off of those aspects."

"Is that even possible?" Nami wonders, but quickly thinking better of it. "No, never mind. Continue."

I nod at her. "It is very possible, and it's my greatest survival tool. I can become harder to see, hear, smell, feel or even taste. I can hide in plain sight if I am careful enough. The more connections I cut, the more and more difficult it becomes for others to perceive me, to just gloss me over and not think about it. I essentially become like a chameleon blending in to it's environment, only I don't change my color, shape, or appearance."

"T-that," Usopp began, "that sounds incredible!"

"Yeah," Sanji agreed, looking very interested and... something else. Something more somber that was very subtle. "It sounds almost too good to be true."

"Well you're in luck, because it is," I state. "There are a few weaknesses to the Faint Technique. For one, I can still draw attention to myself if I am not careful, and it just plain won't work if someone is aware of me before I use it," I explain. "But that is not too bad, as long as I take care and remain focused. No, there is an even bigger flaw I've yet to circumvent, mainly because I don't think it's possible.

"See, the biggest flaw in cutting off your connections to reality is that you are _cutting of your connections to reality_ ," I say, clearly and enunciating it storngly for emphasis. "By severing my connection to sound, I lose my hearing. By severing my connection to sight, I go blind. Every connection I sever, I lose a part of what grounds me to my existence. I need to balance what I cut off and what I keep attached, just so I can function somewhat normally."

Everyone is quiet at that, mulling over what I've told them. Most of them have serious frowns, the deepest belonging to those smart enough to fully understand what I mean. Nami, Sanji, Zoro to an extent. Luffy isn't bothering with it, likely still content with the... simple explanation. I have no idea what Arlong is thinking, he's being quiet again.

And then there's Usopp, who looks conflicted between awe, desire and fear. Seems like he is amazed, would love to learn of my ways, but is uncertain and concerned about the possible ramifications. He's being a smart, cautious kid, and I can't fault that.

"So," Sanji begins slowly, "when we found you..."

"That was me in a deep trance, yes," I confirm what he is thinking. "But I need to make something clear. The Faint Technique that I use casually and what you found me in are incomparable in scope. I call it True Faint, for it is the perfected form of the Faint Technique." I lower my head in a show of minor shame. "In my need to impress and show just what I was capable of, I wanted to not just show Usopp what Faint was about. I wanted to show him it's full potential."

I take a deep breath. It gives of the fact that I am disappointed in myself, which I am. "Much to my shame, I'd forgotten something. You see, when you cut off literally _everything_ that connects you to reality... you stop _being_." My explanation is grave. "It is very easy to lose yourself in that state. Time, place and even your sense of self just aren't there anymore.

"I was lucky your realized I was gone and found me so quickly," I comment, reminiscing to the past. "The first time I eachieved a succesfull True Faint... I got stuck, like some of you witnessed, and it took three days for someone to accidentally discover and bring me out of it." I raise my head to show just how serious my eyes can be. "I almost starved to death and it was a miracle I hadn't died from dehydration. That trip to the hospital wasn't nice, at all."

Reactions were plenty, but the general concensus was shock at just how dangerous what I had done really was. Nami and Sanji espescially looked harrowed by what I'd admitted. They could tell that this time I wasn't lying.

"My landlady found me," I went on to add. "Guess I was lucky I was late on that months rent. She even let me skip payment that month." I then lowly growl, "Swear that's the only time that old bat showed any positive qualities. Calling my clothes tacky. That bitch..."

"Abel..." I try to not let how Nami is looking at me bother me. I don't much care for her sympathy and worry at the moment. Not that I don't appreciate it, I'm just not in the mood.

"Stop that!" I tell her as much. "It was a long time ago, I'm over it. Save that for someone who needs it. Besides, that day I could scratch 'almost died, but didn't' off my bucket list. I also learned the limitations of my abilities. So all in all, I consider that day I win. " I pause, looking up. "Although I did try it a second time..."

"Abel!" Nami yells out, clearly admonishing past-me.

"Hey, young me was an idiot!" I shot back. "Besides, that time I was only stuck a day and managed to break out of it." A dramatic pause. "Somehow."

"You don't know how you did it?" Zoro asks.

"What part of losing your sense of self is obscure to you?" I mock his question. "I wasn't aware of anything around me, much less what I was doing. I just woke myself up." Pause again. "Somehow."

Nami shook her head, letting out an exasperated sigh. "I can't believe you."

"Course you can't. I'm a liar."

"Zip it!" She snaps at me. "This is serious, Abel!"

"As I am aware," I shot back levelly. "It's been a long time. I grew up and now know better." The next admission... stings a bit more, so I avert my eyes again. "I just forgot about it, is all."

"You're an idiot." I look and am sort of glad that Arlong is finally participating instead of being just a background character.

"No I'm not," I rebuke. "I'm a responsible adult, who has more life experience than anyone-" I eye Arlong "-almost anyone of you. Respect your elders!"

"But we're pirates!" Luffy whined. "Pirates don't play by the rules!"

"... Point" I grudgingly admit. "So anyway, that is everything, I think. Could I have some tea, Sanji? With some-" and here I wink at him and smile flirtily, my tone taking on a moaning quality "-extra _sugar_ , if it pleases you."

He, disappointingly, just walks off into the kitchen area. No adverse or extreme reaction. No stumbling with words. Nothing!

"... Spoilsport," I grumble. "This is why I hate it when someone drops something heavy. Just ruins the mood."

"Abel," Nami speaks up. "Are you sure you're-"

"Ask me again and I'll bend you over the knee," I warn the navigator, as she is in shallow waters, while keeping my tone pleasant and sugary. Wisely, she drops the subject, under the impression that I am not kidding.

I was not.

"Okay, enough about me!" I exclaim. "So, Usopp. Knowing what I just got through explaining in great detail, what do you say? You still up for some Faint lessons?"

"..." He is silent, considering it. "... You really think it could help?"

"You're a sniper," I point out the obvious. "Keeping your distance is your whole thing. And that is all the more easy if you make yourself hard to track down. With Faint, you can gain many more vantage points, and since your weapon is so silent, unlike my rifle, it works perfectly with it."

He thinks on my words, but no longer than a few seconds. "Yeah, that makes sense," he says, an enthusiastic grin forming on his lips. He then stood up and bowed deeply. "Please teach me, Abel-sensei!"

"That's Abel-Banchou!" I snap, pulling a Dumbass Duo on him.

"Nah, Sensei is fine with me," the sniper says, holding one palm up, as if swatting away the idea. I just sort of stare at his gall for a moment.

"... Ke... Kehehehe!" I laugh. "Alright then! I hope you like sitting on your ass, because that is what you'll be doing for the rest of your life if I have a say in it!"

"U-umm," Usopp gulps, wind blown out of his sails.

"That's right! You'll sit like no man has ever sat before! Silent, tranguil. You'll be the best pupil, and I'll be the best sensei in the history of ever!" I got up and leaned over the table and got real close and personal with Usopp's mug. "You an me! Usopp and Abel! Student and teacher! Usopp and Abel for years to come! Abel and Usopp, the power duo! Usopp and Abel for a hundred years! Usopp and Abel! The most Abel of Abel's and his Usopp Morty! For a hundred years, Usopp!"

He was cowering closer and closer to the floor the more intense I got, while everyone else likely thought I had gone insane(with some latency) from my experience. Poor, poor Usopp. He didn't have any idea what kind of a task master I can be when I aim to. I am going to make him meditate until he gains fucking enlightenment! I will work his brain till it's so dry that it'll have shrunk into a peanut! I'll make him the most stealthy being this side of the multiverse, or he will die in the process!

Because it amuses me.

 **-o~O-O~o-**

"We're in what?" I asked for clarification.

"The Calm Belt," Nami provided. "It's a stretch of sea on both sides of the Grand Line where no wind blows."

"... How the ever loving hell is that possible?!" I exclaim, quite done with getting swerved with bullshit that defies everything I know.

"No one knows," Nami responds, frowning. "There are theories that there's abnormal magnetic fields that prevent wind from being created in the area, but no one had ever managed to confirm anything."

"Great," I growl. I too realize the predicament we are in. "So basically, we're plain fucked, huh?"

"More or less," Nami said.

We were literally dead on the water. The moment we entered this 'Calm Belt' our sails stopped helping us move and all traces of even the slightest gust just up and vanished. It was bordeline ludicrous that this phenomenon even exists!

I feel like pulling my twin-tails, but that would just serve to potentially damage the wig, so I refrain from excessive action. I facepalm instead.

"..." Idea! I yell around my shoulder, "Hey, Arlong, wanna tow the boat?"

"I'm not getting in there," he responded. "I know what lies below."

Damnit, there goes that plan- "Wait, what?"

"Ooooh," Nami hisses through her teeth and looks really worried, "shit. I forgot about that."

"What? Speak up, girl!" I need my answers, damnit!

"This is Sea King territory," Arlong supplied instead, which only caused me to turn my outrage in his direction.

"Don't just use terms I don't understand, fuckwit! Context! I. Need. CONTEXT- hmbmmgh rrghh!"

"Shut up, Abel!" Nami hissed in a low voice and kept her hand firmly clamped over my mouth, muffling my cries of righteous fury. "Sea Kings are massive sea monsters, and your racket could get their attention!"

That made me go quiet. That did sound super bad. Glancing at her, I nodded that I got it. When she removed her hand, I asked in a whisper. "So, wait, not only are we stranded with no wind to help us, we're also possible monster chow?"

"Yes," she answers curtly.

"So double fucked then," I note dryly. "Fan-fucking-tastic."

"We could fight them," Zoro puts in his own ideas.

"Tch! You can try, and fail," Arlong scoffs. Well isn't someone talkative today!

"What was that, fish-brains?" Zoro asks testily, hand hovering close to his swords.

"I speak as a Fishman. Sea Kings are not creatures to be trifled with," Arlong retorts calmly. "Even our strongest think twice before engaging one. And the Calm Belt is where they flock to nest."

"Damn," Sanji speaks up, gaving a smoke... damnit, now I want to indulge in my bad habits! "That isn't a good situation to be in."

"I-I-I'm s-s-s-sure we'll b-b-be o-okay?" Usopp tried to be optimistic, failing miserably, his knees clattering and his words wavering. Kid wanted to have false hope. He just wasn't good at it.

Then the ship lurched ominously.

I just let out a suffering groan and grab gold of the mast. "Well, it was nice knowing all of you."

"What was that?!" Usopp shrieks in fright and joins me by the mast, though much less gracefully.

"Death," I answer curtly. He does not appreciate my sense of humor and looks about ready to start crying.

Then it happened. A force of something hitting the ship from below. The whole thing was a lot less rough as it should've been, as the Merry remained in one piece and no one was thrown off-board by the shaking and sudden upward momentum. But soon enough it stopped, but that was not good news.

Because when I crawled over to the side to take a look, I noted that not only were we on top of a massive _something_ , we were surrounded by the most absurd looking colossal monsters imaginable to man. Some of their odd appearances did nothing to mask just how fucked we were at that very moment.

"... Welp," I whisper. "We're doomed."

Everyone was struck silent by the shock, awe and fear for what I assume are some of the mightiest creatures in this world. Except Arlong. He just looked sort of resigned in an annoyed way.

"Psst!" I hiss to Nami, who is closest and someone with generally good ideas. "What do we do?"

"Well, uhh," She stammers, nervousness obvious. She is sweating bullets. "Maybe, if we keep really quiet, they won't notice us?"

"Better than what I have in mind." Which is to just wait and get eaten. No way could any of us fight all of them, let alone one.

"Aaaaaaaa!" Usopp screamed silently, rolling on the deck. "We're gonna die!"

"Shut your mouth, Usopp!" Zoro admonished the panicking sniper. With more volume than might be recommended in the situation.

But before Nami or I could reprimand Zoro, the situation was starting to develop out of our hands. And for once, in a good way. The biggest Sea King, whose snout we were perched on, started sniffling. That means that it either is about to cry, or alternatively...

"Shit," I intone in realization of what is about to happen. I grab Nami into an entrapping embrace- she squeaks in surprise -and hold both of us to the railing as stightly as I can. "Everyone, grab something and hold for dear life!"

Everyone gets a move one immediately and grab anything they can. Zoro has to help Usopp get a hold of himself and haul his ass to something to hold besides the thick mast. Everyone got situated somewhere, and not a moment too soon.

Because then the massive monstrosity sneezed, and we were flying. Nami and Usopp were screaming their lungs out, as was Sanji, but with more dignity. Only the more stoic of us(Zoro, Arlong, and me) stayed collected about it, while Luffy, that crazy bastard was laughing his ass off.

I focused solely on keeping Nami and I from flying off by holding onto the railing and her for dear life. That was why when my wig flew off my head because of the turbulance, I couldn't catch it and saw it fly far, far away.

"Motherfucker!" I cursed into the wind, despite the situation. I know it is not appropriate, but I had really started to like that wig, damnit!

But, as the laws of science proclaim, what goes up must come down. And we came down like a fat kid doing cannonball. The splash of water that resulted in what should've realistically splintered the Merry into millions of pieces of wooden shrapnel, was almost eight meters tall and drenched EVERYONE. How we didn't just sink was a mystery.

Let's just say that us being alive right now was one realism break I was willing to ignore and wholly embrace.

It takes a few seconds, but when everyone realises they're not dead we all let out a collective sigh, some of use more than others. Because that was not fun.

"WOOOO!" Luffy whooped, proving to me that that boy was not alright in the head.

I release and look at Nami, who seems to be doing fine, if clinging to me due to the situation. I clear my throat, at which point she realizes she is hugging me too strongly to be comfortable and jumps back. "Sorry!"

I shrug. "You doing okay?"

Nami nods, composing herself. Then I see a strand of her hair move, the same time as I feel a faint breeze on my face. I grin.

"Well, seems that we got our wind back!" I exclaim.

"What?!" Nami yelps, finally noticing the presence of wind. "No way! Did that sneeze carry us out of the Calm Belt?"

"Seems so," Zoro commented, trying to pry Usopp of off himself.

"Let's do that again!" Luffy yells out.

" **NO!** " We all cream at him, reigning the idiot captain in. Yes, Arlong included. Out of all of us, Usopp's was the loudest.

 **-o~O-O~o-**

 _'This is so dull!'_

After the incident at Calm Belt, nothing had happened. I'd taken time to continue my re-write of the log book, and had powered through so hard that I was all caught up now. Even wrote about the deal with Sea Kings, so until anything noteworthy happened, I was out of material.

In short, I ain't got nothing to do!

I looked down on my designated writer's desk(which was place in the Women's Quaters and I am so mad that Nami has this place all for herself!) wondering what to do. I could go for a book, but I wasn't really feeling it. Plus, the selection is as small as it is unremarkable. Almost every book present is a romance novel of some kind, which is to say tantamount to garbage.

I could raid the bar that was placed here(another reason to be mad at Nami for all these luxuries), but I thought better of it. Nami would charge me for every damn sip if she felt like it(and she often did).

So that left me with a less self-gratifying but necessary activity I'd been working up to. So with literally no other options that spoke to me, I left my rifle propped against the wall, unlatched the ammo bag from my hip. I would't need the extra weight quite yet. I grabbed my rapier and sauntered to the outside world on the upper deck.

I was going to finally start seriously training with this murder needle. Which reminds me, I wanted to name my sword something cool, but had yet to think of something biblically significant. Fuck, do I hate that book, but it has amazing material.

The wind is nice, faint and with a the smell of salt water sailing in the air. Plenty of sunlight and a fairly clear sky. A good day so far, and I hope it stays that way.

First thing first, I needed to find Zoro. Not a difficult task, as he was always, and I mean ALWAYS on the deck either training or napping. I caught him amidst one of these naps, so I did what anyone in my situation would do.

I raised my leg and kicked his prick-ass face with the heel of my thigh-highs. That woke him up right quick.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Zoro yelled, holding his nose, which seemed fine aside from minor redness.

"Training," is all I offer as an explanation. He seems to begrudgingly accept the reason as valid. Typical meatheaded swordsman. The only reason I know he isn't all for it is him muttering 'Damn sea-weed head' as he passes me.

Picking a replacement wig for the one I had lost was not fun. Not because I lacked options, but because I had to think of something that mathed my clothes somewhat, which had remained unchanged. So curently I wore sea-foam green, flowing locks that flowed freely up to my upper back. It looked okay with my ensemble.

It also proved that Zoro had no idea how colors worked, because my locks were far from seaweed green as could be. That is numerous scales darker, you brutish oaf!

Reigning my opinions in, I drew my rapier and took a standard fencing stance. "Alright, so here is what I need you for," I tell Zoro. "I am going to attack you. I want you to deflect and guard against my assault, but nothing more."

"Huh?" He tilts his head in a way I find obnoxious. "Wouldn't sparring work better?"

"Perhaps," I admit. "But this is for me to create a proper offensive form. After that I move to a defensive one, in which our positions will reverse. When I feel I've mastered enough of both, then we may spar, if you like."

He grins ferociously. "Sounds good to me!"

Inwardly I sigh and bemoan that my only possible partner in this is a battle hungry meathead. But I take what I can.

"You may use as many swords as you want," I tell him. He grins cockily and only pulls out one of his blades, one of the new ones. I can't tell which, mainly because I haven't gotten a clue as to their names. I know they have ones, but I just haven't gotten around to asking. That reminds me, "Say, does that sword have a name?"

He grins still. "Sandai Kitetsu."

"Cool," I reply, my faintly present knowledge of Japanese telling me that the 'Sandai' part of the name isn't an actual name, but marking it as the third thing by that name.

I then give him no warning and lunge with a stab, which he moves to deflect away from his chest. Or would have, if I hadn't pulled back to avoid any contact with his blade, flowing into another stab. Zoro seemed caught by surprise at the maneuver and swiftly went to deflect the next stab, which drew back again before any contact could be made.

This was why I preferrec this murder needle to something that slices and dices. Because it's lighter weight makes it more maneuverable and I can pull shit like this. I recognize when my attack will not work, so I can swiftly pull it back and go again with amazing fluidity. Not only am I avoiding contact with a blade from a man who could swat the sword right out of my hands if he tried, I was also throwing Zoro for a loop.

The next ten stabbing attempts followed a similar pattern, a stab that pulled away before Zoro could even properly deflect it. He seemed visibly off-set and annoyed by this shit I was pulling. That was when I showed just how devious I was.

The next stab was sent and Zoro went to try and deflect it as well. But this time I did not pull back, something Zoro clearly expected me to do as his blade moved to deflect from a different position, though to hiscredit he quickly clued into my ruse, but not fast enough to crane his neck to the side fast enough.

The tip of my rapier flew through the air in a wide arch until it came back to my starting stance. Zoro stared at me, wide eyed and shocked, as a small, shallow cut on his cheek began to bleed a little. I grin imperiously at his stunned face.

"Yoy know, for a man who wants to be a master swordsman, you fall into habit a bit too easily," I comment with a certain degree of smugness.

His eyes narrow into an intense frown. "Well, didn't expect that from you of all people."

"Oh? Isn't it a rule to never underestimate your foe?" I quip with a feral grin. Though where Zoro's is like that of a shark, mine is more akin to that of a snake. "Even an incompetent can slay a master when they are not taken seriously."

"... You're right," he admits with a sigh. "It's shameful for me to gain even a scratch from a swordsman of your level."

"What level?" I grin. "I barely qualify as a trainee."

I don't give him a chance to reply as I start off another assault, this time not pulling back and letting his blade brush mine aside. As convenient as the pull-back maneuver is, I need to get used to parries and deflections.

By Zoro's intense frown I can tell that I am exceeding his meager expectations of me. By the standards of this world, I was so weak I could potentialy be beat up and robbed by some kids. But on the off-set, I showed other qualities that served me better.

I was fast, flexible, dextrous and precise. All traits that made a rapier an obvious choice for a weapon. All my attacks were calculated and controlled. Not to mention that the pace of my stabs were quickening in pace. You see, when your muscles get used to a certain type of repetetive motion, they get more efficient at it. Meaning that motion becomes faster.

My rapid barrage on Zoro proved that. Based on the look on his face, I was fairly certain that he couldn't counter-attack even if he was allowed to. I just gave no openings with my assault that would allow him to act without getting skewered. Clearly I was overcoming his meager expectations of me.

There was a reason for me bumbling about with my sword at first. To find out it's intricacies and figure out the most efficient ways to utilize it in full. Clearly my method was not madness.

Eventually the pace I stabbed at him peaked, as I hit the limit I was capable of for now. But I just kept on the assault for three more minutes until I stumbled upon my one weakness in this appraoch.

I ceased my assault, panting quite heavily. For all my speed and dexterity does me, I still find myself lacking in the endurance necessary to make it fully viable. "Time!" I call, at which point both of us drop our stances.

"Got to say, you're way past trainee level," Zoro remarks, honestly sounding impressed. The guy isn't even out of breath, what the fuck.

"I learn quick," I say and keep steadying my breath. "Had to, or got beat up a lot by an asshole who likes fighting more than is considered healthy." I had to run that sentence a few times in my head, at which point I groan. "Noooooooo!"

"What?"

"You're another Fredricksen!" I whine angrily. "Damnit, I thought I was done with this when I passed high-school! But noooo, I need a replacement now! ARGH!"

"What the heck are you talking about?" Zoro askes and gives me a weird look.

I instantly calm myself and take a deep breath, finally stabilizing my breathing for good. "I had a friend a long time ago. An asshole named Fredricksen who like to beat me up a lot. The guy was an absolute fighting nut and picked fights with anyone who looked tougher than him."

"Makes sense," Zoro replies matter-of-factly.

"To people like you it does!" I say scathingly. "He defined it as 'toughening me up' and spent all our free time dragging me to places and punching me into mulch. I _had_ to get good at fighting just to get home less injured, and quick too. Bastard adapted almost as fast as I could learn."

"And yet you call him a friend," Zoro noted.

"Against my better judgement, yes," I reply. "I kind of owe him, since it did toughen me up and actually improved my observational abilities. Also helped me realize that I heal faster than oridinary people... or maybe it is _because_ of him. I don't know, nor do I care."

Zoro nods approvingly. He seemed to respect the mindset of beating someone senseless as a teaching method... or fuck, this is my only training partner. Damnit!

I sigh at the realization of my torture when I'm ready for sparring. "Whatever. He's not relevant. Haven't seen him in ages."

"Why?" Zoro asks.

"What the fuck do you mean why? There is no reason! He just disappeared of some shit."

"He did?"

"Fuck if I know! I don't care and after graduating high-school I never contacted him again."

Zoro frowns at what I said. "What's high-school?"

"Fuck it. Go!"

And so I begin my assualt on him all over again, catching him by surprise. He still manages to parry the stab, but it rips his shirt. I consider that a win and a lesson in not lowering your guard. Ever.

 **-o~O-O~o-**

It was a day later that something finally started happening, and it all began with the massive storm front in our direct course. Meaning we were sailing right for it. Internally I was cursing everything, but mostly because Nami would force me to do actual shipwork. Everyone pitching in, and all that.

See, despite claiming I knew dick about sea faring, my talent of being a quick learner was really biting me because there is only so long I can claim to be ignorant of the Merry's functions.

Side note: The Going Merry is a caravel. Basically a cruise ship meant for short trips. We are basically using the exact kind of ship we shouldn't be using fora grand voyage. But everyone else seems pretty attached to it, so I won't even bother raising complaint about it.

Although... ever since my incident with True Faint, I had started feeling... _something_. Something that originated from the ship. It was a bizarre feeling that I was quick to dismiss as nothing but a weird side effect of losing your sense of self for a day.

Anyway, yeah. The storm was incoming and Nami called everyone inside to explain our next move before we had ot face the turbulent waves and heavy wind. Fun!

So here we were, everyone standing by the table, except Usopp(who was steerin the ship) and Arlong(who sat in a corner, big shock). Nami was taking charge and showing us a very interesting map.

"Okay, everyone! We're almost within the entrance to the Grand Line," she said, appearing dead serious about this. "I heard a lot of rumors concerning it, but this map seems to prove it. The entrance to Grand Line is a mountain."

"A Mountain?" Luffy asked, confused.

"So, we're crashing into the mountain?" Zoro asks, seeming to seriously consider it an option.

"You've got to be joking," Sanji says.

"Afraid not," Nami tells us. "I didn't believe it myself, but the map has canals that lead to the mountain. That might mean we have to go up it!"

"Neat!" Luffy says, excited about the possiblity.

"An upwards stream? That is what you imply, yes?" I say sceptically. "That's impossible! Gravity simply won't allow it."

"Words right out of my mouth, sort of" Zoro agrees with my notion. "What are you on about?"

"That's what the map says!" Nami defends her opinions.

"Yeah! Nami-san would never say anything wrong!" Sanji yells, getting indignant.

"Biased opinion," I remark neutrally. "And statistically impossible."

"That map was stolen from Buggy, right?" Zoro asks Nami. "Can it really be trusted?"

I recall Zoro and Nami telling me of this. Of how they stole the map from a pirate called Buggy the Clown. Yes, I do think that is the stupidest thing I've heard, ever.

"H-hey, someone help me with the rudder!" Usopp exclaims in a slight panic.

"Sanji-hun! Give Usopp a hand!" Nami orders the cook. "I can't concentrate with all his shouting!" The cook is more than happy to oblidge.

"It's not budging! Someone help me!" Usopp continues fidgeting with the steering lever in futility. I quirk my eyebrow, as a bad feeling sets into my stomach. It is confirmed when Sanji goes to aid him, and the lever just won't budge.

"Doesn't this current seem a bit too strong?!" Usopp asks, face red from exertion. My gut feeling is confirmed. Shit.

"Wait! Usopp, what did you just say?" Nami asks, seeming to realize something.

"T-this current is a bit too strong?" Usopp parrots, still futilely trying to make the lever move.

"Current..." Nami says, stopping for a second to think. "That's it!"

"That's what?" Luffy asks, as he is completely out of the loop, as per usual.

"They really do go up the montain!" Nami notes with a sense of satisfaction. At the same time I run a few simulations in my head.

"Are you still on about that?" Zoro asks, faintly annoyed.

"Strong currents, narrow canals, currents intersecting and adding to one another," I mutter, the picture coming together. "I mean, technically that could cause the scenario where the current can push water upwards. The currents could generate enough force to propel it up a narrow, set path."

"Exactly!" Nami exclaims. "That's how we're going to enter Grand Line! By going up right here," Nami pointed at one of the canals drawn on the map, "we can cross the Red Line by going up Reverse Mountain."

"HEY! A little help over here!" Usopp exclaims, still clinging to the lever. He goes ignored.

"This is the tricky part," Nami says. "If we miss the canal, the currents will smash Merry to pieces against the mountain. We'd sink in an instant. We only have one shot at this!"

"Oh, I get it!" Luffy says in understanding, but I am wise to not get my hopes up. "So it's a mystery mountain!"

All of us choose to ignore his non-revelation.

"So, how do we do this?" I ask, dead serious about matters that could lead to my demise.

"The only thing we can do," Nami states just as gravely. "We have to steer the Merry so that we won't crash into the face of the Red Line."

"Then how about you HELP ME ALREADY!" Usopp yells out.

"Zoro, go help Usopp!" I order the swordman.

"Why me?!" He snaps at me.

"Because you are physically strong enough to steer in this current, unlike noodle-arms here," I point a thumb at Usopp, still failing. "Just don't use too much force! We need that stupid thing intact, or we're screwed.

"... Fine," Zoro relents, accepting my logic and getting off his ass to join Usopp.

"You know, I have heard something," Sanji speaks up.

"About the mountain?" Luffy asks. Sanji shakes his head.

"Just that half of the wannabes that try to enter the Grand Line died trying," he says with a grin. "Think we can beat the odds?"

"Kind of have to," I note gravely.

It isn't too long after until the storm really starts hitting us, rain starting to fall and the winds picking up. Nami is shouting orders and taking command, even roping me into making sure that we don't die. Not dying is a good motivator, is all I'll say.

Because of the current, we had to fold the sails as not to be set off course by the strong winds. The steering also proved to be a challenge, even for Zoro who could do it, with great effort. But the closer to our goal we got, the more he struggled to keep our rudder in order. The currents were picking up, and that wasn't a good sign to me.

But eventually it came withing sight, Luffy noticing it first from his spot on the sails. A wall of rock that seemed unpassable by how far it seemed to stretch horizontally. From it's reddish coloration, I could easily guess why it was called the Red Line.

It was what was trying to kills us, so I wasn't an instant fan.

"It's huge," Usopp croaked in fear.

"The entrance to the Grand Line," Nami spoke in awe, staring at the seemingly unpassable obstacle ahead of us.

It took no one by surprise that Luffy was excited in the face of potential damnation, and was hyped beyond belief. I was starting to really consider my choice to join him to be a mistake.

But I'd come this far. I wasn't dying yet!

"Y-you can't even see the peak past the clouds!" Usopp stammered. And I agreed, that must be a tall-ass mountain. It is an impassable obstacle for a reason.

"We don't need to," I remark, keeping my calm. "But now comes the hard part."

"...You have no idea."

"AH!" I jump at the voice speaking by me and look up at Arlong. "Holy shit, stop being so quiet! I forgot you were here for a second!"

He scoffs in my direction, never taking eyes off the mountain. "This is my first time going through this part. I don't know what to expect. It will be a trial to see if you are worthy."

As if to prove him right, a massive wave of sea turbulence hit us that very moment and rocked the ship, taking the ship off course.

"It's taking the ship!" Luffy screamed. "Take the helm!"

We all voiced our affirmations(sans Arlong), partly in reaction to Luffy actually taking charge properly and knowing the severity of the situation and took positions.

I took point at the bow because of my keen eyesight and scouted the area ahead of us. Sanji, Usopp, and Luffy helped Nami, while Zoro was busy trying to reign the rudder in control. Arlong sort of just observed us work, perhaps to gauge our worth or some shit. Still annoying.

"Hey, where's the passage!" Luffy yelled out. "We're gonna hit the mountain!"

"Abel!" Nami called to me.

"Looking!" I called back, my eyes scanning what I could see. Nothing really popped out when I examined the wall ahead of us... except for... "There!" I say, pointing ahead. "The crevice betwixt the mountain! It has to be it!"

"Are you sure!" Nami yells.

"I see good, I don't have binoculars!" I scream at her.

"I don't believe it!" Zoro says, looking through binoculars.

"We had those all this time?!" I snap at no one in particular. "Zoro, toss 'em!" I held out my hands as Zoro did as told and tossed the binoculars to me. I then took a more close look at that crevice I'd spotted.

Zoro was right, it was almost unbelievable. A torrent of water, just traveling up an angled canal, lined with gates that could only be for the sake of posterity.

"Yeah, that is it alright!" I shout to the others. "We need to get right through those fates, or we're history! Everyone, brace yourselves for anything!"

I get a chorused, "Aye!" in response. For a moment it felt like I was the captain, and it felt nice. Not that I wanted all that responsibility.

I lowered the buniculars and kept a close eye on the situation as we headed closer and closer to the gates, and the canal therein. And I was the first to spot something very worrying.

"We're getting of course!" I exclaim. "Steer to the right! NOW!"

"We're trying!" Usopp, Sanji and Zoro all shouted back, and I could see all of them trying to get the rudder under control. But instead of being glad, I was alarmed.

"No, don't-" that was as far as I got before they attempts broke the steering lever. It just snapped by the base, much to the horror of everyone, but mostly Nami and myself. I expressed it via righteous anger. "I TOLD YOU NOT TO FORCE IT, YOU IDIOTS!"

It looked bad. Really, really bad. We were about to ram straight into one of the gates, if not for Luffy having a bright idea of jumping in and inflating himself like a ballon, bouncing the ship back on an acceptable course that didn't mean instant death.

Devil Fruits. How do they work?

Of course, this led to Luffy almost falling into the stream if not for his stretching limbs being able to grab hold of Zoro. Unfortunately, his mementum caused him to crash into the deck. As in, leaving a hole in it.

Most of us were too glad to not be dead right now to voice complaints at that fron. Except for me.

"Damnit, we just got out of hot water! Don't try to sink us now!" I snapped at Luffy and Zoro, as I saw them both as responsible for the new thing Usopp needed to patch up.

I might also be mad because Nami had hogged the only raincoat, so I was drenched again and would need to change.

At least the rain stopped as the Merry was carried higher and higher up the Reverse Mountain. The way was pretty much just autopilot, so we all got a moment to relax.

Nami celebrated, Luffy finally pulled his head out of the deck and was instantly hyped to be doing this, running to the bow by me to see what was going on. And to his credit, the view was pretty incredible, for it's bizarre simplicity. Zoro had joined too for front row seats. It all got me thinking of all this.

I, a weak little man who wears women's clothing, was travelling on a pirate ship, up a mountain by a stream that goes upwards to go on an adventure on the seas.

What is my life?

I shook my head. Another time for that, perhaps. I just enjoyed the moment.

We eventually hit a height where we started passing the clouds, revealing just how tall this damn mountain was. We could clearly see the top now, but bases on the shape of it, an oncomfortable thought came to me.

What goes up must come... oh dear.

When we hit the top, the force sent the Merry airbound for a few second, but in those few seconds what I saw made me forget my worry. I saw it so clearly, the boundless azure blue all around, as far as the eye could see. It was a kind of sight that made you feel small and remember that in the face of the planet, you are but a microscopic flea. It was horrifying... but in a way so beautiful.

Then I started worrying again as I grabbed on when we started falling back down. Only Arlong had enough foresight to do the same, though miraculously no one fell off board. We landed on a descending canal that had to be the one that lead to the Grand Line, if Nami's map is to be believed.

Many thoughts must've been running in everyone's minds, thoughts I couldn't begin to hazard a guess at. Luffy's was the most clear, as he spoke his quite loudly.

"This is it," the straw hat wearing boy said with barely contained excitement. "The endless pools of ocean. And somewhere... One Piece is waiting!"

My own thoughts, I kept to myself, and was the only one paid proper mind to.

 _'This is it. There is no turning back now,'_ I thought. _'I never foresaw this as my future. I never expected to walk down such a path. But...'_ I grinned despite myself, feeling a small spark of something deep within myself that I couldn't recognize and couldn't recognize. _'I am not opposed to this challenge! Bring it on, my Brave New World!'_

"LET'S GO!" Luffy yelled out, vocalizing what all of us must've been thinking.

From the corner of my vision I spotted even Arlong showing a rare smirk, as if he was somewhat impressed. It vanished into his usual glare when he saw me looking, him acting as if it had never happened. You can't fool me, Arly!

Such a... what was the Japanese term? Tsun-something? Whatever.

I had to keep my hand on my head to keep my wig on from the wind billowing past us as we rode the current down. I wasn't having a repeat of the Twin-Tail Incident!

But I had forgotten one thing. A thing that was very imperative to this current situation. Everything had gone smoothly. Nothing ever goes smoothly with this lot! Which is why I didn't notice right away, until we entered the clouds again that I heard the odd sound. It was low and bellowing, but I couldn't place it. But then we passed through the white veil, leading to me actually seeing something quite odd.

"... Uh," I start uncertainly, not quite sure what to think of it. "Guys! Problem!"

We were on the crash course with a towering black _something_. And the current was carrying us right at it.

"What the hell is that?!" Nami yelled in panic.

"It's not a mountain!" Zoro exclaimed.

"T-then that's a," Usopp stammered out of sheer terror. "A WHALE!"

"THAT MASSIVE THING IS A WHALE?!" I exclaimed.

Arlong seemed somewhat surprised. "An Island Whale? All the way here?"

"The stream is carrying us right at it!" Nami shouted.

"It's that big, but I see no eyes," Zoro noted.

"That's it! It must not know we're here!" Nami said, looking around frantically. "Wait! There, an opening! Hard to port!" She pointed at a spot left between the rocks and the whale, a lighthouse showing prominently on the rocky shore.

I gathered myself, thinking on my feet. "Usopp, get over here!"

"WHAT?!" The sniper shrieked.

"We can't steer away from it! The helm is busted!" I scream at him. "We need to divert our course, or we're done! Now come here and grab and Explosive Star!" I pulled my rifle off my back and fished for a bullet of my own. When Usopp ran over with his slingshot, I had finished loading.

"Abel, what are you doing?!" Nami yells my way, but I don't turn to look.

"Something dumb!" I snap and point a spot ahead of us to Usopp. "That spot of water, jus after we exit the canal! I need you to fire your Explosive Star on my signal! No questions!"

"R-right!" He steels himself at my commanding tone and prepares his slingshot as I brace my rifle to fire.

"ABEL!" Nami yells, beggingfor an explanation, but I can't right now.

"Wait for it!" I yell as we get closer and closer. The wall of black appeared larger and larger as we rocketed towards it. The atmosphere grew tense and I could hear Usopp's quaking knees. He better not miss this. "NOW!"

" **Explosive Star!** "/" **Doomsday!** "

He releases his slinghsot as I fire at the same time and for a split second I think I had miscalculated. But then the water by the ship bursts out due to an large underwater explosion. The ensuing wave crashes into the ship, sending us all off balance, but I smirk victoriously at the results. The wave caused by Usopp's Explosive Star and my Doomsay Round impacting underwater was just enough to change our course.

We missed the massive whale by just a hair, but there was no impact and no damages. In reaction to this I just slump onto my knees and slough noticeably as I release a massive sigh of relif.

"Thank the ancestors that worked!" I mutter at the skies as Usopp's nerves caught up to him and he tipped over like one of those stupid goats with a fucked fight-or-flight reflex.

"What were you thinking?!" Nami sauntered over, grabbed me by the collar of my vest and started shaking me around. "You could've told us of your 'master plan'!"

"No time," I say and grab her hands to stop the world from shaking. "And in my defence, I made that up on the fly, so I technically _wasn't_ thinking."

That wasn't what she wanted to hear and smacked me upside the head. Because it was me, it hurt way more than she probably intended, but at least I didn't black out like a bitch.

As I rubbed my aching skull, everyone else got preoccupied by what we were passing by. The side of the gigantic whale, and more specificlally it's equally massive(if proprtionally tiny) eyeball. It was really freaky, honestly. This was some Kaiju level shit, right here!

Zoro was the first of us to react appropriately. "Le'ts make a run for it!"

"Agreed!" Sanji said, unnaturally agreeing with the swordsman he just couldn't get along with for some reason. "If that thing notices us, it'll be bad!"

The whale roared(or whatever it is that whales do), still seemingly oblivious to our presence. But damn did those vibrations fuck me up. All of a sudden I got Vietnam Flashbacks to the episode where I puked up al ot because of my aggravated concussion and was almost ready to hurl. But I kept it together.

It helped that I used Faint to sever my connection to sounds, but I could still fucking _feel_ it! I cancelled it after I felt the vibrations pass, standing up.

I speak up to wanr anyone of making a ruckus. "Okay, no one-"

"HEY! BASTARD!" Luffy yells at the massive whale eye. "WE ALMOST DIED BECAUSE OF YOU! APOLOGIZE!"

I and Nami ran over to calmp his voice-hole shut. He struggled against the both of us. "Luffy, shut the hell up!" We both hiss, but he keeps struggling against us, clearly not getting the severity of the sitaution. He actaully elbowed me in the ribs, to which I winced and-

*BOOOM!*

-pulled the trigger of my rifle, firing at the whale and I could only watch as one of my Doomsday rounds exploded near the corner of it's eye, doing no visible damage whatsoever.

Everyone stared at the sight in horror, and at first it seemed like the whale hadn't noticed. And then it's massive eyeball looked straight at us, proving that we were that unlucky.

Nami turned to me in terror. "What the hell Abel?!"

"I don't know!" I yell back, looking just as terrified. "I didn't reload it! I swear!"

"Yes you did," Zoro points out. "You always reload after firing. You do it out of habit."

"I WHAT?!" I exclaim at the revlation that I seemingly reload my gun habitually and automatically without my knowledge. That is a serious problem I will need to weed out if I live through this. I turn to the massive whale eye looking at us. "I'M SORRY! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, HONEST!"

Ignoring that I was talking to an animal that couldn't possibly comprehend human speech, I still held small hope that that would do the trick. I was shown once again that idealism isn't my thing as the whale started opening it's mouth with a loud bellowing cry.

And then the ship was starting to get pulled by the offset in the water into the things mouth!

In the tubulence Luffy was knocked right off of the Merry. "LUFFY!" everyone yelled after him, but he managed to stretch his arm and reach one of the large teeth in the mouth. Now, that was good.

Thing was, I was knocked off too, and had no such ability as I dropped into the water before I could even hear them crying after me. The pull of the currents immediately pulled me under, and try as I couldn't right myself or get my bearings. I could hold my breath and had got a lungful, but that only lasted so long. I was right fucked as the currents thrashed me aroud. I couldn't even open my eyes, they were that strong.

But I noted something grabbing onto me and felt much less raggedy, now feeling a more controlled push as I was dragged along. It felt like hell and the uncertainty was killing me, as was the ever enroaching threat of the air in my lungs running out. But I soldiered on as long as I could.

My lungs felt like bursting from the effort it took for me to not inhale any seawater. I had to let my body go limp in an effort to conserve energy and air, helpless aside from whatever was dragging me along. The currents battered my body, making it hard to not suddenly inhale when a strong current hit you in the gut.

But stubborn bastard that I was, I held my ground, even as I started to feel hazy and faint. I stopped really feeling anything as I focused my all in the task of not breathing, even as my lungs burned at the need to do so. I couldn't do it for much longer.

But just as I was starting to lose control, I heard a faint splash and felt myself impacting some rocks. But more importantly, I could feel air. Releasing all my mental locks, I breathed long and deeply, opening my eyes. I saw the blue sky above as I rested on my back on what could only be land. Well, a rocky shoal, but cemantics.

"Oh. You're not dead."

I get into a sitting position and work to get my breath under control, no matter how much my lungs want that sweet oxygen. I find a familiar scowl looking down at me. Arlong's clothes are wet, just like mine. I can put two and two together.

"Whooo," I let out an exaggerated breath. "Thanks for the save, Arly!"

"Tch," he scoffs and turns his back to me so I can't see his face. "Should've left you under."

"Aww, thanks for caring," I croon pleasantly in jest.

Then I spot the whale a just a small distance away. It is slowly submerging into the blue ocean below, jaws closed and the ship nowhere to be seen. So I can only conclude that they got swalloweb...

...

...

...

"Hey," Arlong speaks up. "What are you staring for?"

 **-o~O-O~o-**

Well, this was unusual. The okama was unusually quiet. He was just... staring at the sea where the Island Whale had submerged, taking the brats with it. In a way, Arlong had seen this coming. Grand Line was a place that ate pirate crews alive, usually not literally. Those kids had gotten arrogant in their hope to traverse it. If even a crew of Fishmen had trouble with it, what hope did these humans have?

...

So why did he bother to save this single one? Arlong wasn't sure. There was a lot that didn't make sense to him anymore. And it was because of that man. He was responsible. Responsible for changing him in the way he had.

And now he was just... quiet.

"Hey," Arlong spoke up, not fully sure why. "What are you staring at?"

"... Ke he he," Abel broke the silence and let out a monotonous laugh, looking down. "Give me a break."

 _'That's strange,'_ Arlong thought, _"his laugh is different.'_

"So, I guess they died then," I note. "Because of my mistake. Ain't that just the best? Ke he he... Ke he he... Ke... he... he..."

Arlong was, quite honestly, the most freaked out than he'd ever been in his entire life. Listening to Abel speak in such a toneless manner and laugh such a hollow, empty and broken laugh... Arlong had never seen anything of it's kind. It was so unlike the man.

He didn't show it, but he was worried for the human. Shocking, even to him, and he'd rather die than admit to it. But he had chosen to dive in to save him when he fell overboard and use his Fishman talents to swim to the shore. And now that worry was spiking at Abel's iregular behaviour.

He knew the man had erratic and presumably faked mood swings, but this was different. It didn't feel like he was faking a mood. It felt more like... _nothing_. Just _nothing_ compressed into a tone of voice.

Hiding his worried frown under his normal one, he grabbed Abel by the shoulder and gave it a firm shake. "Hey, snap out of it- augh!" His breath hitched into his throat when Abel turned his haed to look at him. What he saw was a face no man should be capable of wearing and still be the same person he knew this to be.

Eyes darkened and shadowed, despite the man having nothing to shade his eyes with(his fake hair had been lost in the currents), both wide yet expressionless. It made the whites of his eyes to appear dark grey, while his natural ocean blue eye color had lost it's vibrancy and now just was harrowing to look at His mouth was curled into an unnatural, wide, toothless smile.

It was a face Arlong could only describe as _nothing_. Absolute emptiness, a hollow abyss wearing a human skin. It was so utterly inhuman that Arlong found himself backing away several steps as his entire body grew tense. He didn't like gazing into that face, because it felt like _nothing_ was gazing back. And for reasons he could not comprehend, that brought ot his heart a kind of terror he hadn't known in all his years.

"What is it, Mr. Arlong?" It spoke in the tone of _nothing_ , sending cold shivers up Arlong's spine. It stood up and spread It's arms wide open with an unnatural smoothness that the Fishman found quite unerving. "Aren't we having fun? Let's laugh at the casual cruelty our reality relishes in. Ke he he... Ke he he... Ke...he...he..."

That laugh... Arlong was certain that that laugh would haunt his nightmares for a while. Just what was happening with this _thing_?

Then the ground below their feet rumbled strongly, sending tremors all across the coastline. Then there was another, and another. Tremors kept happening at certain, short intervals. Arlong was confused by these sudden, but short earthquakes.

"Oh. How grand," It intoned tonelessly. "The ground is in pain. What a fun parallel. Ke he he... ke he he..." It wasn't making any sense.

All Arlong could do was watch as It kept laughing in its hollow manner. It went on for a while, unti the tremors stopped. When another didn't make itself know, the empty laughter cut out suddenly. It was looking at the ground, expression unchanged and unmoving aside from slight mouth movements, though even that never seemed to close.

"Hmm? It stopped hurting," it noted. "Shame. It is not relatable anymore."

The more It spoke, the less sense It made. Arlong, for the first time since Fisher Tiger died all those years ago, was at a loss as to what to do. His mind wasn't coming up with anything, and his body refused to move. Something about It just paralyzed him with unnatural wrongness. So let time pass as he could only watch It do inane things that served no point.

He only moved to look when the Island Whale surfaced again in front of the entrance they'd travelled through, barely avoiding a disaster thanks to Abel's quick thinking and downright stupid luck.

It was too occupied with kicking the rocky ground uselessly to pay mind. So It remained oblivious as Arlong gaped at the whale's side opening up like a freaky door. He knew that to call Grand Line crazy was an understatement, but that was just crossing so many lines!

What almost tipped it over the edge of believability what that the now familiar Straw Hat's ridiculous ship sailed out of it, unharmed and, Arlong supposed, with the crew intact. It was nigh inconceivale, yet Grand Line demanded flexibility in such matters.

Arlong still thought that the odds were absolute bullshit.

He averted his eyes from the almost impossible ship and it's crew and shifted back to It, which was doing... something strange. It had picked up a rock and was using it to draw white circles onto a particularly flat stone surface. Circles, meticilously made to be perfectly round, five in total.

"Delete." A line was crossed over one circle in a swift, yet vicious motion. "Delete. Delete. Delete." Three more circles were crossed over, all as detachedly as the first. The remaining one followed suite. "Delete." When crossing over the last circle, the hand and the rock held in it stayed put, and remained so for a few second, leaving Arlong to frown at this unexplained, yet seemingly methodical behaviour.

Then, with one singular motion, It's hand moved and the stone scratched a sixth circle, and when It's empty gaze snapped to him, Arlong felt his skin crawl with an inexplicable feeling that couldn't be identified as anything other than _wrong_. And then It began to speak a word that made Arlong's blood freeze for an instant, his entire being becoming overcome with a feeling of death.

" _ **Dele**_ \- hm?" Only It stopped and craned It's neck to see past Arlong. At the sea. At the whale.

At the ship closing in on their location.

"OI!" An exciteable yell pierced the air and distance. "ABEL! ARLONG! YOU'RE OKAY!"

Arlong turned his head to look back at the image of the hammer standing on the sheep figurehead, wavinf at them. He looked way too cheerful for having just come from inside a whale. Truly, that boy was mad.

"YA-HOOO!"

 _'Neptune's beard!'_ Arlong had to strain his nerves and focus to not jump at the loud yell by his side. He glanced and saw Abel waving enthusiastically at the incoming ship. And it was Abel, not that... _thing_. There was light in his eyes again and an actual expression on his face. But Arlong still felt his gut squrim at how instantaneous the change in behaviour.

"Are you feeling normal?" Arlong found himself asking the man, not really sure why. He just felt like he should.

Abel put a stip to his waving and gave Arlong a very neutral look, tilting his head to the side, all the while wearing a cheerful smile. "... What are you talking about? Of course I'm fine, silly fish, you!"

Arlong ignored him jabbing his arm with his elbow, more concerned about the fact that he was beginning to consider. And to be frank, the thought was terrifying in its implications.

Abel didn't know.

 **-o~O-O~o-**

"So, wait," I have to ask, rubbing away the start of a headache. "The stomach of the whale has a sky painted on it?"

"Yup!" Luffy affirms his claim. I ignore him and hoperfully stare at Nami. Much to my dismay, she nods. I can already feel my eye twitching.

"And you saw all this?" I go on, delving deeper despite knowing better. "Which means there was light to eluminate the insides of the stomach?"

"It was just like being on the outside," Nami supplied me with the answer I really didn't need. It was making my head hurt.

"So you mean to tell me that this old bastard," I gesture at the old man whose head looked like a flower if I squinted, "has painted the insides of a gigantic whale to look like the outside sky. Okay. I can buy that, as much as I hate to."

I had to take in a deep breath. "But," I feel my frustration piling into my tone as I go on. "I simply refuse to believe that the insides of a whale's stomach could be lit like that! Light can't penetrate a solid mass! It doesn't work like that!"

"If that rattles you so much, give up on trying."

"HEY!" I jab my finger at the old bastard. "I didn't ask for your stupid opinions!"

"It's not an opinion, it's a fact," the old bastard said, as if I wasn't shouting at him, "Grand Line is known for it's numerous irregularities. Unless you can cope with that, you might as well give up now."

"I can be flexible!" I snap at the old bastard, his mannerisms really ticking me off for some reason.

"Abel," Nami says, placing a hand on my shoulder and shaking her head. I shoot her a glance and close my eyes, take a deep breath, and relax.

"Okay," I say, raising my hands. "I'm good now." I deadpan at the old bastard. "You're an asshole."

"ABEL!"

"Not now, sweetie!" I wave Nami off. That girl is too sensitive, I swear. "Adults are talking."

"Oh," the old bastard grunts. "So you're not a snot-nosed brat?"

"Kehehe, I do look rather youtful, don't I?" I chuckle, striking a pose, hand on my hip while the other goes to flourish my locks- "Wait, where's my wig?!"

"IT TOOK YOU THAT LONG TO NOTICE?!" Nami, Zoro, Sanji and Usopp exclaim in unison.

I ignore them as my hands run across my natural short hair. It feels so unnatural!

"The current took it away," 'Arlong answered my question.

"DAMNIT!" I scream at the sky. "This is the second wig I've lost just today! This better not become a trend, or I will rip the world a-fucking-sunder!"

"Well, at least you have the energy of a youngin'," the old bastard commented.

I calm myself and shoot the old man a look, then gaze at the whale. Luffy and the rest had told me of the history that whale had, with this place and the old fart. How its name was Laboon, and how it had waited in this one spot for half a century for friends that would never come.

It reminded me of the tale of Hachiko, a loyal dog who kept waiting for his dead master every single day until joining him in the afterlife. It was a story that made the more sentimental teary eyed.

I was not that sentimental. But still...

Turning to self-harm was pretty heavy stuff, even with an animal. Bashing its head onto the Reverse Mountain, leaving a myraid of scars that could clearly be seen.

"Laboon had been waiting a long time," the old man says, words I can tell are aimed at me. "He refuses to awknowledge the truth of matters, and just clings onto what brings his life some semblance of meaning. "

"I wish we could do something to help," Nami mumbled, seeming quite upset with the whole story.

I frown. "Clinging onto hope is all well and good," I remark. "Clinging onto false hope is less so. Even a dumb whale should be able to figure it out."

"... Island Whales are intelligent," Arlong snarls, surprising me. Even the old man and the rest of the crew are caught by surprise by the surprising amount of heat in his voice. "Most think that all which live in the sea are mere animals. That's not true." He looked at Laboon, something approaching sentimentality on his features.

"Arlong..." I heard Nami mumble under her breath.

Arlong walked to stand by my the side of the stone shore, facing the towering creature. "Fishmen and Merfolk have a unique connection to the creatures of the sea. We possess a deeper understanding of them than any of you humans could ever hope to achieve."

"What are you going on about?" Zoro asks, rather rudely. Maybe at the slight racist remark? Nah, Zoro isn't that sensitive. Still, I slap him on the back of the head. He glares at me. I ignore him.

"... I can hear it," Arlong says quietly. "His cries. Despite his size and age, he still acts like a child crying for its parent." Arlong's back hunches. I can't see his facial expression from where I stand.

"You can understand Laboon?" Luffy asks, curious as always.

"He just said he can, dumbass," Sanji answered before regarding Arlong. "But what is your point, fish-face?"

Before any answers could be provided, Laboon released a loud roar, just as powerful as last time, so much so that almost everyone was holding their ears. All except Arlong and the old man.

I could see Arlong's back straightening and his chest expanding. And then he shouted, loudly enough to overpower the reverberating noise the whale created. I could hear it, even after heavily plugging my ears, and I bet everyone else could too.

" **QUIT YOUR WHINING!** "

And, pretty much shocking everyone's jaws open, stop it did. Laboon's bellowing cry stopped dead, its one eye that faced us turning to look at the resident fishman. Speaking of...

"Give it up already and face the truth instead of closing your eyes!" Arlong yelled at the creature infinitely larger than himself. But his tone was harsh, but this was the first time I'd heard such passion behind it. "You've waited long, and what do you have to show for it? Nothing but the scars on your head! Stop fooling yourself with pathetic false belief!"

"Arlong, stop! What are y-" I raise my hand to cover Nami's mouth, as does Sanji, surprisingly. We both trade looks and shake our heads. A clear signal to be quiet.

Laboon bellowed again, but this time it wasn't as powerful.

"You think you're the only one that's been left behind? Don't kid yourself!" Arlong snapped at the whale. "Stop clinging to the past, you brat, and grow up! The world you and I live in is cruel! It doens't care what we think! It takes everything away from us no matter what we think about it! You pathetic human friends are gone, and they aren't coming back!"

"H-he's going a bit too far, isn't he?" Usopp stammered.

"No," Sanji stated clearly. I nod in agreement.

"This is something the whale needs to hear." I affirm Sanji's answer... Can't believe I've now said a sentence like that. I feel unclean.

The whale bellowed again, this time sounding plain angry, as it's massive eye glaring dangerously at the Fishman.

"And what of it?" Arlong seemed to challenge something the whale had said. "Do you think they'd care for your wallowing? Those scars on your head, would those make them proud?!" Laboon's pupils seemed to grow smaller, expressing shock. "If you care about them so much, then start acting like it! Giving yourself those scars shows just how you shame the faith your so called 'friends' placed in you! Start asking yourself if what you do would make them happy! WOULD IT?"

The whale made a sound, this one much quieter and it sounded like it was wavering. It's one eye expressed hurt, but also saddened clarity.

"He's actually getting through to him..." the old man whispered in awe. "I've tried for years, but he's never reacted like that to anything I've done."

"Wow," Usopp could only say.

"I never knew that guy could get like that," Zoro commented.

"Yeah," I say. "This is new to me too."

Out of the corner of my eye, I spot Nami looking at Arlong with an odd mix of conflicting emotions on her face. Luffy is oddly quiet, just looking at Arlong and Laboon.

The giant whale, seemingly reaching a conclusion with some thought, let out a low whine. A far cry from it's earlier outbursts. I could be wrong, but the corner of it's eye seemed to water up slightly.

"... Go on," Arlong spoke up, calmly but loudly. "If you mean to do something, stop holding back! Do it this once, and never again!" The Fishman crossed his arms, and his body language relaxed a bit. "Real men don't show their tears. Those friends of yours wouldn't like to see them either, so make it quick."

With that said, it only took a few seconds before Laboon's eyes were clearly leaking water. But it didn't make a single sound, even while crying.

"Heh," Zoro chuckled with a slight grin. "He's trying to act tough."

"You must speak from experience," I claim in jest, smirking his way. He flushes from anger.

"Do not."

"Whatever, Mr. Sensitivity," I say, at which point both of us ignore one another.

The old man- seriously, what was his name? -swiped a tear out of the corner of his eye. "I'm glad. Laboon is finally accepting it. I... didn't think the day would come." He smiles as he watches the whale silently cry out it's sadness. "Maybe he'll even stop harming himself now."

"Arlong's plan was better than what I had," Luffy said out of the blue, at which point we all turned to him with varying level of concern on our faces.

"You had a plan?" Nami asks.

"Yeah," Luffy affirmed.

"I already," Usopp mumbled.

I take a deep breath and prepare myself. "Luffy... what exactly was your plan?"

"Oh, I was gonna use the mast to pick a fight with Laboon!" Not a moment after he'd finished that part, a thick, white, stupid paperweight that was The Codex smacked Luffy in the face, after I threw it at him. The book actually lodged itself deep into his mug, and he tried to pull it out as I exploded on him. And I wasn't the only one.

"You were going to use the WHAT?!" I scream at the idiot who I had chosen to follow, cursing Past-Me for being a short-sighted fool.

"How the hell is picking a fight going to solve anything?!" Nami exclaimed her own grievances.

"Do you want us to die?!" Usopp shrieked, suddenly very afraid for his continued wellbeing.

"Makes sense to me," Zoro said.

"YOU SHUT UP!" All three of us snap at the resident battle maniac.

Luffy finally managed to rid his face of the book with an audible plop, taking a deep breath. "Whooo, almost died!"

"Don't tempt me!" I snap at him, taking that book from him and smacking on the top of the head with it. "You were going to rip off the mast to battle that titan! You've earned near death, idiot!"

"Hey, I thought it was a good plan!" Luffy defended himself, running his head. "... my head hurts."

"That's exactly the problem! You thought doing something so monumentally dumb was a good idea!" I exclaim.

"Will you all be quiet!" Arlong of all people speaks up to make us stop trying to go any further with murdering our captain for gross incompetence. "You're annoying."

"Bite me!" I snap back, clearly knowing when to stop. He shows off himself clearly opening up his mouth, showcasing all his instruments of dental murder. "..." I put on a cute face and the most cutesy girl voice I know as I start figeting in a demure manner, even forcing a heavy blush which was extra prominent on my extremely pale skin. " _P-please be gentle. It's my first time..._ "

Never let it be said that I back off easily in the face of danger.

"AAARGH!" I heard a scream, from Sanji, who I find on his knees, beating the hard ground. "Damnit! Why?! He's not even wearing a damn wig!"

... Welp. If anything could defuse a situation, it's Sanji having his sexual crisis when I'm involved. Otherwise it's less funny. Short natural hair or a wig, I am always smoking hot! I just change flavors when I feel like it to make it interesting.

So naturally, I skiddle over to Sanji and pat him on the back. "It's okay, Sanji. I too like seeing my fresh hotness." As I should've expected, kicking Sanji while he was down was a dumb idea. So I was unsurprised when he shot up straight and started sending a barage of kicks rights at my face.

All of which missed, of course. I just stood there, smiling in a very cute and disarming manner as Sanji's foot just kept flying past my head. I could abuse his mental geas against hitting women for the rest of my life, and I'd never get tired of it. Eventually realizing the futility of his action, the man slumped into a depressed fetal position, mumbling incoherent sentences, shrouded in a literal cloud of depression.

"... I'm so evil," I state the obvious, still smiling innocently.

"What a wimp," Zoro commented on his rivals(?) state.

"I know, right?" I continue the bit. "You'd think he could find a workaround at this point. That's some Pavlovian shit, right there."

"Literally no idea what that is," Zoro points out.

"I know," I reply haughtily, as if it proved my mental superiority. Though with Zoro, that wasn't much of a feat.

"You kids are very special, aren't you," The old man remarks. "A bunch of teenagers, a man wearing women's clothing, and a Fishman. Quite a troupe."

"Shut it, I make this look good... Actually, this is bugging me. What's your name, old timer?" I ask instead of continuing the bit.

"My name is Crocus. I'm a Gemini and my bloodtype is-"

"Yeah, cool," I cut off his spiel. "How's it feel being named after the flower equivalent of a poison using assassin with a medical degree?"

"No patience at all. The young these days," Crocus mumbles, scratching his beard. "Well, I used to be a doctor at a pirate ship, so I suppose that fits."

"... Damnit, at least try to be offended," I grovel. "This isn't as fun."

"Abel, stop trying to piss people off!" Nami shouts at me.

"Never!" I snap on reflex.

"And stop breaking Sanji! We need him in working condition or someone else will have to take over the kitchen""

I run her words in my skull a few times. "... Shit, she's right." I must admit, I am not trusting anyone but Sanji to be able to cook a meal that won't poison at least one of us.

And yes, that includes me, because I would do that on purpose just because.

"Thank you for caring about me, Nami-san!" Sanji croons, instantly recovering from his depression and going all Mr. Noodle-Arms on Nami.

"Yeah, yeah," Nami says off-handedly. "... Hey, where's Luffy?" Nami asks, surveying the premises.

 **-o~O-O~o-**

... I have no words. This beats everything that's come to pass today. Nothing will beat this for, like, a week. I just... wow.

"That is one shitty-ass painting," I voice my thoughts as I regal my latest bile fascination, that being the horrendous thing Luffy had painted on Laboon's head. It looked like the Straw Hat jolly roger, but if it was really shitty. And I mean, reaaaaaaally shit, like a blind amateur painter levels of shit.

My words can't do it justice. It is just that bad.

"It's a symbol of friendship!" Luffy exclaimed, proud of his infantile- no, infants would find that offensive -inhumanly bad doodle. He stood on the deck with the rest of us, drenched in paint and holding an oversized paintbrush. "Laboon is our friend now, so he can't damage that mark by hurting himself!"

I regarded the idiot captain. Well, leering would be a more appropriate term, but who cares about semantics.

"That's... actually not a bad sentiment," Sanji remarks before heading inside, mumbling something about fish and elephants. Weird.

"Yeah," Usopp agrees. "I mean, it makes sense, by Luffy standards."

"Small miracles," I grumble. "... Where did he get the pain?"

"Oh, I bought some."

"Usopp... why?" I ask him, my face conveying how little of a fuck I give for any bullshit.

"...To... make the Merry look... nicer?"

I narrow my eyes as he sweats nervously. "You're on thin ice, boy."

"Sorry, sensei..." He bowed his head in shame.

"Just be glad Nami didn't hear you wasted money."

"What about money?" Nami asked, appearing as if the devil was called by name. That or I was right to think she had a sixth sense when it came to that subject.

"Usopp was wondering what would happen if money set for a specific use was mishandled," I respons smoothly, relishing on how nervous Usopp got within a millisecond.

"Oh," Nami said with a cheerful smile, while her tone told a different story. "I'm certain I could find some use for a pair of shears I have lying around."

"H-hey, I just remembered I got a thing- bye!" Usopp stammered and ran to the ship(likely to hide). I kept my eyes on him until he disappeared to places within. Then I turned back to Nami with a proud smile plastered on my face.

"Can I adopt you?" I ask.

"Hmm," Nami holds her chin as if thinking. How cute, she's humoring me! "I don't know. I might be too old for that."

"Excuses." I smirk and ruffle her hair a bit. "But seriously, don't kill Usopp. I need him, and the paint can be used for something."

She bats my hand away with a warm smile. "I think I can let it slip. Just this once."

"Once is plenty enough, I would think," I note, thinking back to how pale Usopp got at the mention of shears and implications of hypothetical gelding.

"... Hey, anyone else feel like there's something we're forgetting?" Sanji spoke up.

Nami frowns "Did we?"

"Wouldn't know. Wasn't there," I quip, not adding to the conversation.

"No, I'm serious," Sanji went on. "I seriously think there's something we're forgetting."

"You're just paranoid," I downplay his concerns. "The human mind is a fickle thing, which relishes in tricking itself for the sake of stimulation."

"Hey, what's this thing?" Luffy asked. We turned to see him holding something that looked like a bracelet. Or something. Wasn't sure. Which was why I walked over and took a closer look. The answer, after some slight logical deduction, was fairly obvious. A needle stuck inside a glass bulb.

"That's a compass," I say. "I mean, it looks weird, but it's definitely a compass."

"Let me see that!" Nami sauntered over and snatched the likely fragile object from Luffy with the grace it demanded. "... It does look like a compass... but that's strange. It's not pointing north."

"Oh, you don't know what a Log Pose is?" The old man said from the shore. "You kids really are in over your heads if you didn't know that much."

"Log Pose?" Nami asked.

"Did something just explode out there?" I want to draw attention to the explosion a small ways out in the sea.

"It's a special type of compass that is necessary for travelling the Grand Line. The whole place has unusual magnetic fields that mess with normal compasses," Crocus explained as Nami checked her own compass, which was going insane.

"Is this for real?" Nami asked.

"Seriously, is no one seeing the smoke?" I point at the plume of smoke rising out of the sea.

Crocus nodded. "The Log Pose doensn't point north, instead leading to the island it is magneticlly locked to. By staying on that island for a set amount of time, the Log Pose will acclimate to the magnetic fields and pick the next island to point towards. It will lead you straight from one island to the next. That is how one travels the Grand Line, until the final island that Grand Line holds. Raftel, which only the Pirate King has ever reached."

"Wow," Nami gasped on awe, looking at the glass thing in her hands.

"Oh, a mystery compass! Cool!" Luffy took it as he did. "That's gonna help us reach One Piece, right?"

"Sure," Crocus grunted indifferently. "Some lofty goals you've got there."

Luffy grinned widely. "It's 'cause I'm going to be the King of the Pirates!"

As Crocus laughed at Luffy's response, I still kept looking at the dissipating smoke stack. And I mean, really looking at it, trying to discern what it was about. Frankly, I'm shocked no one else seemed to notice.

"Wait, whered did you get this thing from, Luffy?" Nami asked, curious.

"Those two weirdoes dropped it on the ship," Luffy casually explained.

"Weirdoes?" Nami repeated. "... Oh, those two! I forgot about them, honestly."

"Wait," I speak up, breaking my little search. "Sanji was right about that?"

"Seems that way," Nami said. I eyed the Log Pose in her hands. Something about it struck me as odd. I couldn't explain what though.

"Hey, could I..." I held out my hand. With a slight nod, Nami handed it over and I turned it around in my hand. I spotted something on the downside of the base the needle was stuck on. "Wait, there's something here."

"There is?" Nami asks.

I lift the thing to get some light under there and try to make out some fancy engraved text on the bottom of the compass substitute. It was really odd, I felt like I'd seen the style somewhere before. Which I soon remembered that I had.

I read it out loud.

" _Status Quo. Very sorry, E.V.E_. That name again..." I grunt, having almost completely forgotten those three damned letters from when this all began.

"Who's Eve?" Luffy asked.

"A dumb bitch who ruined it for everyone involved," I state off-handedly. "And also the supposed identity of whatever force brought me here, to this world." I narrowed my eyes at it. "But what the hell is this about the status quo? Makes no sense to me."

Then, before anyone could say anything, the most ludicrous thing happened. As I was leering at the Log Pose and the writing on it, I spotted something higher up. A faint shape. Before I could even say "huh?", that shape slammed me hard in the face, causing me to fall backwards and slam the deck, hard, as something clattered on the deck next to me.

My vision swam in molasses. I forced myself to sit up and shook the visual discord out of my system to see just what the fuck had just fallen smack dab at my face.

It was a block of wood. A hefty seven-foot block of wood. An honest to god fucking log, for all intents and purposes. Had fallen from the sky. To hit me. In the face.

How the fuck was I not dead?! How was my skull not pasty mulch?!

What came secondary was a silent, continuous wheeze of absolute pain and dismay, from Nami it seemed. At first I was confused, but then I recalled I'd been holding onto something fairly important, which, by following her frozen gaze, was-

"Oh," I say at the broken remains of the thing we kinda needed to not die on this sea, "Shit."

"NOOOO!" Nami shrieks, forcing me to cover my ears for a second. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!"

"A log fell on my face," I state the obvious as I stand back up.

"HOW?! WHY?!"

"Fucking beats me," I reply, kicking the log. It was... wait. I go to pick it up and test it's weight. "Huh. It's lighter than its mass would suggest."

"WHO THE HELL CARES?! OUR ONLY LIFELINE ON THIS OCEAN IS BROKEN! WE'RE DOOMED!" Nami screamed, bordeline panicked and starting to hyperventilate. Damn, she's hitting her tolerance limit. That's bad.

I pull Nami's head to rest on my chest and stroke her hair, softly shushing her in a manner that is supposed to elicit a calm-response. "Shush, now. It's fine. We'll get through this. Don't worry." I continued reciting lines like that to make Nami calm her shit, which was working. She started to breath normally and noticeably relaxed.

Everyone, sans Zoro who was asleep, turned up from wherever they'd been to check up on Nami's sudden and extremely loud exclamations. Sanji in paticular seemed stuck between indignant rage that I was the one comforting Nami and not him and minor arousal at seeing two rather feminine figures essentially performing one-sided cuddling.

Sanji is a bit of a creep at times, I've noted.

I released Nami after she seemed calm enough. "You okay now?" She slowly nodded with only slight hesitation as she took a deep, calming breath. "Good. Don't overthink the situation. Leave neurotic breakdowns to me, okay?"

"You're not my dad, Abel," Nami deadpanned. Silly girl, she can't hide that faint smile from a professional.

"Yet," I jest, patting her on the shoulder and crouch to pick up the remains of the Log Pose. "But this... this _is_ a problem."

"Don't worry. I've got another one you can use," Crocus says. "After what your lot did for Laboon, it's the least I can do."

"Oh thank god," Nami sighed and visibly relaxed out of relief that we weren't super fucked.

"... That's convenient," I remark, eyeing the broken Log Pose I held and the log I was still holding with my other hand. "How quaint." This had to be connected. I had no doubt about it in my mind.

The only plus was that I already had an idea for this stupid wood I've been so graciously given. At least it could be made use of.

Everything should've gone fine after that debacle, but fate seems to be extra busy today and keeps throwing new ways to bring needless excitement into my life.

It happened when Laboon emerged from the ocean and flung two figures, male and female, onto the shore. Figures I had never seen before, and I couldn't forget such atrocious wardrobe the man was wearing even if I died. But apparently the rest were familiar with the two.

As Sanji rushed to aid the woman, I did the logical thing, assume they are the enemy and draw and check my rifle, preparing for anything.

"Oh, it's those two," Nami remarks.

"Those weirdoes you met inside the whale, right?" I ask, which Nami and Luffy confirm with nods. "Great," I remark and cock my rifle.

Turns out the two had a request of us.

"Whiskey Peak? Weird name." Luffy say, the rest of the crew, plus Crocus and minus Zoro(still asleep, the lazy shit), standing before the duo. Only I and Arlong remain a small distance away, me being ready to use my weapon if necessary. Those kids are just too confident/trusting for their own good.

"What is it?" Usopp asks what everyone wonders, though I already inferred it was a place.

"It's the town we live in," explains the man, who'm I have mockingly nicknamed Little Prince. "Erm... sir." Don't try to act polite after you already blew it, dumbass!

"Don't you have your own ship?" Nami asks them.

"Sadly, it was destroyed," the girl, who I've nicknamed Little Princess for posterity, and to match the two.

Nami got really close to Little Prince, an intimidation tactic if I ever saw one. "Wouldn't that be a little too kind from our part, Mr. 9? Considering you tried to kill the whale."

Oh, so that's what they were doing. Also, damnit all! they are using codenames? What is this, secret society shenanigans?

"Just who are you two?" Usopp wonders out loud. To which Little Prince is all too eager to answer.

"I am a King," he says haughtily, acting tough. That mask immediately crumbles when his crown is shot off of his head by yours truly. "GAAH!" Pansy.

"No sass, Einstein!" I order, still pointing the smoking barrel his way, making sure he pays attention to it. "You aren't in a position to mouth off and be a wiseass."

The little punk looks about ready to cry, while still desperately trying to keep his cool facâde. At least Little Princess seems to get the hint.

She places her hands onto ground and bows her head. "We cannot say!"

Little Prince joins her, without lowering his head(that ridiculous crown on again), still seeming rattled and keeps giving me nervous sideline glances. "But all we want is to return to our town! We didn't really want to do this kind of underhanded work... Honest!"

"But please understand that 'Secrecy' is the motto of our organization!" Little Princess speaks up, desperately.

"We truly cannot say anything!" Little Prince affirms the yarn the two are spinning.

"We're begging you kind people to help us!"

"We will repay your kindness!"

Laying it too thick there, guys.

"Don't trust them," Crocus says, becoming the voice of reason. "No matter what they say, they're a couple of underhanded sleazebags."

"Not to mention, we broke this Log Pose and don't have another..." Nami lamented. "You sure you still want to come?"

"WHAT?! YOU BROKE IT?!" Little Prince exclaims, now on his feet, along with his fairer partner. "THAT WAS MINE, YOU KNOW!"

"You made us go to our knees at your feet when you can't even go anywhere?!" Little Princess yelled, equally indignant though less intense.

"Sorry, not sorry," I quip, idly taking note that I really did load my gun on reflex. That needs to go! "And we really didn't make you two tards do anything. That's all just you two lacking spines."

"Abel!" Nami snapped at me.

"What?" I frown. "That a statement of fact. You can't guilt me about it!"

She huffed, taking on a more scheming persona. "Oh, BUT... Crocus-san is giving us another one."

Just with those words the two were on their knees, groveling again. I shot Nami a sharp look because my point was proven true beyond a shadow of a doubt, but all I got in response was her sticking her tongue at me.

"You're all childish," Arlong grumbled beside me.

"Fuck off, you," I hiss at him.

Still, I realized what Nami did. Provoking the two to reveal information by omitting details, like that we had a spare Log Pose available. That sort of crafty behaviour made me proud.

Still, there needs to be deliberation about these two, and this situation needs to be analyzed thorougly before reaching a verdict-

"Sure, you can come." ... Or the choice is taken out of our hands by an idiot. "It's called Whiskey Peak, right? Let's go there."

"Hey, now!" I voice my grievances. "Aren't you jumping the gun a bit, Luffy?"

"What? But I'm not jumping anything?" Right. Luffy is dumb and apparently turns of phrase confuse him. Noted.

"No, he means that you're not thinking this through," Nami translated. Thank you, Namikins! "Seriously, we just met these guys and they obviously aren't up to any good. We have no reason to trust them!"

"It's fine," Luffy says casually. "Don't worry about details like that."

... Unbelievable.

"Agreed," Arlong replies- did I just think that out loud?

"But the only place you can choose your course from is here at the starting point," Crocus speaks up.

"If we don't like it, we'll just try again," comes Luffy's easy-go response.

Crocus grinned at our captains words. "I see." No, don't agree with him! Stop him!

"Okay, let's get going!" Luffy proclaims with moderate authority.

I was leering at this entire scenario. Apparently quite visually.

"What was it you said, back then," Arlong mused, and I saw him smirk smugly. "Captains order is law?"

I bristle and snarl at him, "You're in this too, fish-face!"

"Oh, I am aware," Arlong says, grinning even wider and more savagely. "The difference is, I don't have any personal stakes on any of this."

...

Son of a fishmongering whore!

 **-o~O-O~o-**

It took until the twilight hours before the Log Pose was ready, and the Straw Hat crew gave Laboon and Crocus their farewells. As the caravel sailed towards their next destination, Whiskey Peak, along with their two passengers, Crocus was left with his own musing.

Specifically of what the okama had said in passing. It had stuck out to him.

"Another world, huh?" The old doctor mused out loud. His brow furrowed in thought. "Can it really be just a coincidence?"

The Straw Hat, the Will of D, a person from another world...

He turned his eyes to the setting sun, reminiscing of his time as a ship doctor onboard of the vessel that sailed the Grand Line. When he was personally in the presence of the Pirate King, Gol D. Roger himself. But what stuck out to him was not the legend himself, but rather the crew's rambunctious and loud musician whom Roger had found adrift at sea and who Crocus considered a friend.

A fond smile crept up on his weathered mug.

"I wonder what you'd have to say about this, Heavy Metal."

 **-o~O-O~o-**

 **Aaand that's a wrap!**

 _ **Abel REALLY hated the Warship Island Arc. So much so that he skipped it by sheer stubbornness and erased the moment from his memory as soon as he was able.**_

 _ **Rick and Morty is the only modern piece of media Abel has consumed and bothered to internalize. He really identifies with the philosophy of the show. Rick is his spirit animal.**_

 _ **Here's also some insight into how Abel's specialty, the Faint Technique, works, and the dangers therein. It's useful, but has severe drawbacks, as was demonstrated. Also some surprising swordmanship with his Murder Needle(name is a placeholder). Abel being himself. You know. The works.**_

 _ **Also, a slight detail managed to escape me, and that was that the Going Merry DOESN'T HAVE A WHEEL FOR STEERING! It has a weird lever system that is just plain bizarre. As stupid as this is, I really needed to correct this fumble.**_

 _ **And we're finally on the Grand Line! WOOOOO! The adventure begins for realsies! Things will slowly amp up from here. Oh man, I cannot wait!**_

 _ **Also... damnit, these just keep getting longer! I swear I'm not doing this on purpose! But damn it if ain't satisfying to feel like you're doing something great with your time!**_

 _ **-Living That High, C-Hablerie**_

 _ **PS. Sorry for any major grammar mistakes. Apparently this document was too big for my Proofreading Software to handle and I just can't shift through all of this manually. Too tired.**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Chapter 12: Sailing Towards Destiny**_

I straighten my back and stare intently at the thin metal that constitutes the killy end of what I've affectionately, though temporarily, nicknamed the Murder Needle. Though I hadn't owned this blade for long, I had gotten a hang of it, thanks partly to a talent at quickly figuring out fighting thanks to a psychopath childhood "friend".

Childhood trauma, some would call it, but I was too old at the time to really count. I think. I think I've repressed some of those memories. Thinking back makes my body ache in phantom pains.

Avoiding the present. That is what I'm trying to do. That is self-defeating and bad.

"Whose bright idea was this again?" I bring myself to ask, eyeing not only Zoro but Usopp who stands on the opposite side of the deck.

"Yours."

"You're right," I agree. "Must've been some idiot. Why are we doing this again? What are we doing?"

"Stop stalling!" Zoro barks at me.

"I don't stall for shit, Mr. Bushido!" I snap at him. "I just think this is a dumb and stupid thing to do!"

"This was your idea!"

"SHUT UP DISCIPLE!" I snap at Usopp, boldened by the distance between us. "SENSEI IS IN DENIAL HERE! QUIT FUCKING IT UP, BOTH OF YOU!"

"Shut up and start already," Zoro snarls.

"Fine!" I snap, giving my full attention to the sniper on the opposite end of the ship, eyes hardening and my focus sharpening to its limit. "If even one of those explodes, so help me...!"

Zoro nods in satisfaction at finally getting me to cooperate and turns to Usopp. "Whenever you're ready, Usopp!"

"Right!"

I take a deep breath and keep my nerves under strict command. My nerves are citizens living in a fascist society, where they are all monitored and all defections will be met with promises of imminent pain and great displeasure.

You see, _some asshole_ had a bright idea for a training method to hone reflexes, vision and hand-eye coordination. It also happened to involve having Usopp launch lead balls at them. You know, for motivation to not fuck up.

Which was what we were doing.

"Sensei, first one is a freebie!" Usopp informed me, basically saying he was about to use his slingshot to try to injure me, and that I should pay attention. His slingshot was already tightly drawn and aimed at me. "Here I go! **Lead Star!** "

Usopp released and by any normal yardstick, deflecting a ball of lead with a blade was stupid ridiculous.

Well, apparently not, because my hand moved slightly on instinct and I heard a slight sound of something scraping against metal and something just grazing my cheek.

Inconceivable? Well, fuck you! People always underestimate the power of base human instinct. It's only limited by the information the person can gather; for the instinct to work off of. And I was really good at gathering and processing information.

Still looking ahead, seeing the blade of my rapier slightly reverberate from the impact, I could see Usopp's jaw hit the deck. And I mean that literally, it just fell right down there. Fucking cartoon logic...

Besides me, Zoro whistled, clearly impressed. "Wow! Didn't think you'd actually pull it off."

"What, you wanted me to get hurt?" I ask, partly in jest. At his lack of response and deadpan look, I want to stab him, but refrain from being such a crude peasant. "Whatever. I deflected a thing. Bow to my awesome- GEK!"

I flinch harshly and fall into a crouch, holding my left side, which hurt like a- "Mother... fucker... aaaaaaaaaaa!"

Apparently, Usopp likes cheap shots!

"What... The fuck?!" I scream out.

"Sorry!" Usopp yelled back. "I just want to point out that you explicitly told me to fire unexpectedly until Zoro told me to stop."

"Fuck... me..." I curse, standing up and rubbing my aching side. Damnit, that's going to bruise.

"Suck it up," Zoro says, _helpfully_. "Now get back to training."

"Well, excuse me that we aren't all like-" I raise my blade and just barely deflect a piece of lead enough to miss my side, _again_. "Damnit, what kind of sick fuck trains like this?!"

"Lay in the grave you dug. Like a man."

"Fuck-" Deflect- AUGH, MY SKULL!

 **-o~O-O~o-**

"You are unbelievable," my favorite member of the crew says as she finishes wrapping a bandage around my head.

"Blame Usopp," I say. "He likes headshots."

"Funny. Zoro told me it was all your idea."

"Zoro is a dumb piece of meat!"

"Meat?"

"Go away, Luffy!" We both tell the captain to buzz off, which he does after confirming that no meat is present.

Nami gives me this look that might be exasperation. That, or she is tired. "Honestly, why won't you just admit it?"

"No sane or thinking person trains by using themselves as target practice," I say.

"... So, the fact that you had to come up with such a training method insults your own intellect, _because_ you thought and suggested it and then decided that the proper course of action was to put it to practice?"

"..."

"Abel?" Nami says warningly.

"... Yes," I admit through my teeth.

"See, was that so hard?" Nami says, smiling and ruffling my very short hair.

"Exceptionally," I choose to be a grouch and softly swat her hand away to place my newest wig back on my head.

This time it was lustrous straight brown hair that reached my upper back and the bangs were finely shaped to frame my face. It sort of created a contrast with how damn pale my skin was, but I could deal with it. Made me look exotic.

I'd changed my clothes to match it. A brown dress with a short hem that reached only the upper thigh. It had orange buttons that made it look real smooth. To not make that hem-length too scandalous, I also wore brown hotpants that attached to my socks aking to garters. My footwear consisted of black, sharp-tipped boots with orange laces.

Slightly tomboyish, yet clearly feminine.

I'd chosen that this was as good time as any to give my legs some nice attention, so the whole thing accentuated them a lot. They were just as shapely and feminine and enticing as the rest of me. Soft curves on the thighs and calves that made leg fetishists drool.

Sanji had leered at my legs, had a nosebleed and promptly had to excuse himself. I could hear him banging his head on something somewhere down, through the deck. I laughed, as you do, at his continually conflicted mind, knowing I was to blame for his turmoil.

But enough of how damn fine I look. Time to talk business.

"So," I start, finishing adjusting my wig so that the bandages are more or less hidden away, "anything of note on the royalty?"

I am, of course, referring to the double dipshits hitching a ride with us. Their codenames: Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday. Or as I like to call them, Little Prince and Little Princess.

Naturally, no one but Luffy trusted the two essentially nameless jerks. Which is why we all had wordlessly agreed to keep constant tabs on the two, of whom only Nami and I did it full time. Sanji was too blind to Little Princess, Usopp was busy and Zoro slept a lot and probably didn't give a shit. Arlong was no help either, watching us and waiting for us to crash and burn.

"Nothing, as of yet," Nami responded casually. "Aside from being pains in the ass, they've behaved themselves."

"Tell me about it," I agree. Little Prince has a bit of an attitude problem, though I handle him just fine. I frighten him, thanks to my handling of his sass earlier. At least the girl knows the nebulous situation she is in and isn't mouthing off people who can end her.

"... Are you sure they're a threat?" Nami asks. I can tell she has doubts, and I cannot blame her for that.

"They use code names and have a policy of secrecy," I tell her. "Nami, there are not a lot of good things that have a need for that combination. With our luck, those two are A, assassins. B, undercover marines. C, a collective of murderers, or D, low-key bounty hunters."

"Or thieves," she proposes, shaking her head lightly. "I get what you mean. Those two are seriously shady."

"Which is why we are keeping an eye on them," I chuckle. "Speaking off, better go see if they are apologetic yet. That, or tired of the ropes."

The crew had tied the two up for being super annoying. It was a unanimous decision, even Luffy was getting somewhat annoyed. Now they were below deck, tied up in two tight bundles and I occasionally went to sing for them. Keep them entertained.

Or in pain. Apparently, my singing is more off-key than I recall. Sanji came over once during a session and made me swear never to sing with anyone present.

I told him to suck my dick, basically. He's not the boss!

"Go easy on them," Nami suggested with a smirk that indicated the opposite.

"No promises," I say with a shrug and look out for a moment before heading down. It's such a nice day so far. Everything seems to be good! A bit too good...

I just hope there is some reason Arlong keeps chortling whenever I look pleased with today or mention it in conversation. I have a bad feeling about it.

 **-o~O-O~o-**

Nami shook her head, smiling softly. For someone _allegedly_ so intelligent, Abel was really, _really_ stupid at times. Because seriously, who stays in denial for hours about something that was fully their doing?

He was incredibly smart, and unbelievably crafty given the right motivation, more often than not his personal safety. That Nami couldn't deny. The fact that, quirks aside, he was a rational human being and the sole bastion of sanity was a boon she couldn't stop being thankful for. He was the voice of reason, often more effectively than Nami herself could manage. Abel just had a much more commanding presence than she did.

Maybe because he was an adult? He was older than any of them, and therefore more experienced by default.

Nami couldn't help but slump slightly, upset that Abel didn't act his age most of the time. That damn actor just didn't take things seriously unless he had to.

Leaving the subject of Abel's eccentricities aside, she really needed to reassess their course and make sure the weather was in their favor. She made to go outside, only to walk headfirst into something fairly hard, causing her to stumble back a bit.

As she rubbed her forehead she nervously wondered how someone as large as Arlong had snuck up on her. The second thought was, _'oh god, I'm alone in a room with Arlong!'_

Nami could only put on a brave face and not let her nervousness show. The Fishman's presence was still a thing she just couldn't get used to. She was still a bit mad at Abel for bringing him along. But to his credit, Arlong had behaved himself so far. And after Arlong's abrupt apology- something Arlong would never do with any level of sincerity – had left her quite uncertain about a lot of things.

"What do you want?" Nami hissed, perhaps with a bit more hostility than frankly necessary. But she just couldn't stop herself. All her resentment over the years just kept bubbling up whenever she thought about anything relating to Arlong.

Much to Nami's surprise, however, if she didn't know any better she'd swear that Arlong looked uncomfortable. Uncertain. Both very un-Arlong things. It was subtle, but his body language was tense and uneasy, and his eyes were slightly directed away from Nami herself. It was so unreal and unbelievable that Nami almost missed what he said.

"That man... does he seem irregular?"

"Huh?" Nami voiced her confusion, partly to mask her inattentiveness.

Arlong took a few seconds to clarify. As if searching for the worlds. "The pretender..."

"What about Abel?" Nami asked before he could go on, eyeing Arlong with barely hidden suspicion. If he noticed, he didn't show it.

"... Have you seen It?" Arlong asked. Upon noting Nami's questioning eyebrow, he added to the initial question. "About what that man hides."

Nami blinked, realizing what Arlong was likely talking about. "You mean his "real" face?" For whatever reason, Arlong seemed to stiffen further at the notion Nami was bringing forth. "Sure, he's shown it a couple of times."

"... Did it feel peculiar?" Arlong asked. "To see It."

"Well, I mean," Nami said, thinking of how to word what she thought. "It is kind of creepy, how he just drops all pretenses like that. But with how he acts most of the time, I almost forget about it."

"... That's all?" Arlong asks.

Nami narrowed her eyes at the Fishman towering over her. "What is this about, Arlong?" Instead of answering, the large Fishman started to walk out, prompting Nami to yell after him. "Hey!"

Arlong stopped by the doorway outside. He just stood there for a moment before craning his neck to look back, a serious look on his face. "That man... is not well."

Nami deadpanned at how uselessly cryptic the words were, as Arlong took a step forward, stopped, and looked back again.

"Brace yourselves," he said. "It won't be long before you learn why Grand Line is known as 'The Place Logic Goes To Die'."

Then he walked out, leaving Nami unbelievably frustrated at this conversation makes no god damn sense!

 **-o~O-O~o-**

I step into the cargo hold, which is not used as a makeshift brig for our two troublemakers. Speaking of them, when I enter they were talking, sitting on the floor with ropes binding their arms to their midsections. They wouldn't escape easily. I made the knots, so you knew they were flawless in nature.

"This is so humiliating!" Little Prince whined, frowning angrily. "Why must such ill luck befall us, Miss Wednesday?"

"I know not, Mr. 9," Little Princess answers, much more composed. And unaware of my presence, it seems. "But we must be patient. Our mission might've ended in failure, but we can recover from this yet!"

"You are right, as always, Miss Wednesday!" Little Prince exclaims. Man, these two are abusing those codenames like there is no tomorrow. "When we get back we can get in touch with the boss. And who knows, maybe we can turn this around!"

As fun as just listening in for some more would be, I don't need to. I already know those two are fishy, so why bother further confirming it. Instead, as a man who loves theatrics, grab my rifle from my back and spin it in my hand before slamming the butt of the rifle onto the floor. The sudden and sharp bang makes the duo flinch and finally pay mind to my presence.

I wasn't even using Faint! Come on, guys...

"As fun as hearing you tell me your nefarious plans are, I'm going to pass and just wait for your inevitable betrayal," I speak up, strongly and clearly in a dominant tone. Then I slip on a vacantly vicious smile. "It makes tossing you to the sharks more satisfying."

The two eep and scuttle closer together.

"W-we were just joking around! We aren't planning anything, promise!" Little Prince stammers pathetically. I've struck quite a bit of fear into him, much to my pleasure.

"Yes," Little Princess affirms her partner's words. "We aren't going to betray anyone! That is the honest truth."

I let my vicious facâde drop and deadpan at the two idiots before me. "Wow," I manage to say, as dryly as humanly possible. "You two are shit at keeping secrets, aren't you?" Little Prince goes to retort, but I won't let him. "That's rhetorical. If you want to lie well, you don't stamp an 'honest' or 'I promise' to the end of anything, ever! That's just pathetic and see-through."

"Yes! Of course," Little Prince is quick to say, nodding his head and for a moment resembling a bobblehead. "You are most right, of course!"

"Stop being a kiss-ass, or I will knock some teeth loose," I growl at him, which shuts his mouth tightly. He doesn't need to know that I would need to try pretty hard to do that.

"Why have you come?" Little Princess asks me, still composed but visibly wary of me.

"Please, no more singing!" Little Prince screams in terror, memories flooding in, no doubt.

"Mr. 9, calm yourself!" The girl orders the man.

I snort. "As fun as that would be, not this time." I move to lean on the wall opposite to them and cross my arms. "So, feeling apologetic for being such little shits yet? Because depending on your sincerity, I _might_ find it in me to untie your bindings."

They silently share glance and looks, a form of subtle communication. Implies they know each other rather well. Whatever, Little Princess is the first to speak.

"You must understand, the two of us are in a very precarious situation," she says. "We wish to return promptly, and being around strangers is disconcerting." She bows her head politely, Little Prince following along. "We're sorry if us being on edge makes us a little... irritating."

Well, the girl speaks well, I give her that. Very diplomatic, if a bit suspect given the circumstance. But her tone sounds sincere enough. Of course, that depends on if she's a good actor or not. Hard to ascertain.

I let out a thoughtful hum as I think this over, also staring at them sharply, fishing for reactions. Both of them are unnerved, but Little Princess remains the more composed one.

The girl has guts, I have to admit. I make a show of consideration, rubbing my chin with a thoughtful look. And I was fully prepared to make them squirm, if not for the ship rocking a bit more than usual and a very agitated voice yelling from up top.

"ABEL! SITUATION! UP HERE! NOW!"

"Welp," I throw out my hands for a second, then pull out my rapier and swing it in a flurry at the Royal Dipshit Duo. After a moment of panic passes and they realize they are not hurt and that the ropes fall of off them, they both give me a slightly pale look. "Looks like you get off on good behavior! Bully for you!"

I hold my rapier horizontally, my thumb and index finger holding the sharp tip, all the while giving the two a smile that radiates kindness. "Now, you get to show your sincerity by helping out up top. I hope you pull your weight! It would be _such a shame_ if your body happened to fly overboard by accident."

"Yes, sir!" Little Prince exclaimed and shot up and ran off. Little Princess went to follow him at a slower pace. I noticed a certain gait to her steps as she went to pass me.

"Nice strut, Princess," I quip with a sly intonation. And her response surprises me. Her gait jerks, almost causing her to stumble. Her form tenses, her back goes almost ramrod straight and she comes to a startling halt. It is subtle, but the girl is more transparent than she might think.

I find the reaction incredibly interesting. I'm pretty sure I've struck gold in some manner. Time will tell if it is just fool's gold though.

When I go to take a step towards her, my footsteps purposefully slow and loud, her discomfort becomes more pronounced but desperately restrained. Most definitely someone with something to hide. And considering the context of my remark...

A wide, vicious grin forms on my lips as I draw close enough to touch her, and stop suddenly. The sudden silence causes her tenseness to intensify by a factor of ten, and I can see her shoulder tremble slightly. I reach out with my hand...

And shove her forward, causing her to jump in surprise.

"What are you standing around for? Join the Little Prince up on deck," I chime in a tone of absolute whimsy. I poke her lower back and swiftly run my index finger up her spine, which gets a quiet 'meep' out of her. "Go on, get!"

She gets moving again, only turning back to look at me in passing when she turns the corner. There is a harrowed look in those eyes of hers. Something has her very rattled.

How very... very interesting...

"ABEL!"

Welp, better go before she bites my head off. What's got her so uppity?

 **-o~O-O~o-**

"THIS IS SUCH BULLSHIT!"

At this point, everyone was agreeing with the cross-dresser, at least if Zoro had anything to say about it. With the unremarkable exception of Luffy, of course. Despite the blizzard growing to crazy strengths, the rubber human just continued his seemingly boundless excitement.

"Weather isn't supposed to act like this!" Nami yells over the billowing frosty winds.

"NO SHIT!" Abel snapped, clearly very irritated as he continued to struggle with the ropes keeping the sails in control. And by struggle, Zoro meant that the man was flailing in the wind along with the rope he was supposed to be holding down. Kind of like a really pissed of flag. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS WIND? WHY DID IT JUST START RIGHT OUR OF NOWHERE? WHY IS IT FUCKING SNOWING?! THIS IS MADNESS!"

...

He was not wrong.

"How are you hanging there?" Zoro asks. Perhaps he should've watched his dry delivery because it was not taken well.

"IS THAT A JOKE, RORONOA? I WILL SHIT ON YOUR SOUL!" Abel raved and cursed as the wind kept throttling him. "HELP ME, FUCKWITS!"

"Use both hands," Zoro suggested. In a rather predictable fashion, it was what the man wanted to hear.

"FUCK NO!" Abel snapped heatedly, keeping one hand on his lifeline, the other tightly pressed on top of his head. "I LOST TWO WIGS TODAY, I WILL NOT LET RULE OF THREE COMMANDEER MY LIFE!"

"Someone get Abel down from there!" Nami ordered, having gotten tired of all the irate screaming.

"A little busy here!" Zoro yelled back, holding onto his own set of ropes with all his might.

"S-s-s-same!" Usopp stammers, clearly lying and just holding onto the mast for dear life.

"You can second that!" Curly-brows yells from within the cabin, taking helm and struggling against the winds. "The currents are fighting against the winds something fierce!"

"Shit!" Nami cursed. "This is bad..."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND HELP ME-EEEAAH!" Just then the blizzard stopped. As in, just plain vanished, coincidentally causing Abel to fall right down and reacquaint with the deck. With his face. His face was up within moments, though he still lay flat.

"Again? The fuck is this erratic bullshit," Abel snarled, glaring angrily at the air as if blaming it for his torment.

"Your nose is bleeding," Zoro remarked, relaxing a little now that the blizzard had passed. Off-handedly he noted how the snow on the deck began to rapidly melt and the temperature started to rise drastically.

"Damnit! Of all things!" He instantly pinches his nose shut, hops on up and speed walks inside the ship for... something. To be honest, only one of the tag-alongs, the prince-bastard, seemed to care that the irate man was gone.

"What the hell is wrong with this weather?" Nami sighed at their moment of reprieve, even as she started to sweat from the heat. At least it wasn't a typhoon. "This makes absolutely no sense!"

"I'm not trusting this calm one bit," Sanji called out from the steering lever.

"It's true!" Usopp shrieked in terror, still holding onto the mast. "All the legends are true! This really is a cursed sea!"

"Stop your blubbering!" The returning Abel reprimanded his "apprentice", as he was calling Usopp now, wiping his nose on a napkin. "Man up and act more refined."

"Says the guy who couldn't stop screaming just a minute ago," Nami snarked, starting to note the still rising temperature.

"Never happened," Abel denied. "And now that I can actually think if the magnetic fields truly are so aberrant on this stretch of the ocean, this does make sense."

"Really?" Nami asks, slightly dubious. "You can figure this out, while I, a master navigator, cannot?"

"It is _because_ of the magnetic fields," Abel answered the question by disregarding it, "more specifically, the multiple magnetic fields of all these islands at the start clashing with each other."

"That... makes sense, yeah," Nami sighed, accepting defeat. She wiped her brow to rid it of sweat. "First strong waves, then it starts raining, a thunderstorm occurred, then snow out of nowhere, then a raging blizzard, and now a heatwave? What's next?"

"Please, don't jinx it," Abel moaned in exasperation.

"I don't see the problem," Luffy interjected, face all grin. "I like the mystery weather!"

"WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" echoed everyone.

No one paid any mind to the slumped forms of their two tag-alongs, both just as weary and tired as they looked.

Well, except the obvious exception.

"What, are we having a siesta over here?" The two jumped to attention at the voice both of them had grown to dread, be it in a more "musical" sense. Seeing the cross-dresser loom over them with a judging look was terrifying, to Mr. 9, at least.

"W-we're not lazing around!" Mr. 9 was quick to clarify.

"Yes!" Miss Wednesday agreed with her partner. "We're just... a somewhat fatigued is all. The Grand Line is hectic like this, so-"

"Uh-huh. Well excuse me, _your highness_ " Abel interrupted, looking absolutely unimpressed, while Miss Wednesday stood just a bit straighter, "but, and do remind me if I am wrong, you two would have traversed this mess. On a ship, the two of you. By yourselves."

Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday visibly wilted at the man's perfectly reasonable line of logic. They'd just had the rug pulled from under them, their excuses utterly annihilated.

"That's what I thought," the feminine tyrant grinned in self-satisfaction. It didn't last too long, his grin falling as one simple topic was getting too hot to ignore. "Okay, is it just me or is the sun shining way too brightly?"

"Yeah," Nami remarked, fanning the collar of her shirt. "the heat is killing me!"

"It's hot?" Abel asked, for once sounding genuinely confused. Everyone gave him a dubious look. "What? ... WHAT?"

Nami turned to the rest of the crew. "Okay, everyone! We need to be prepared for anything, so stay sharp!"

"Are you... ignoring me?"

"Usopp, stop hugging the mast and go to the crows nest! See if you can spot anything odd!" Nami ordered, the sniper knowing better and doing as told.

"... Seriously? Why are yo- oh. I see the heatwaves now. Nevermind."

"How are you not sweating?" Zoro wonders out loud, himself not immune to the _still_ rising heat, no matter how badass he was. The way too innocent, highly exaggerated shrug he got as an answer was somehow way more annoying than any snide remark Abel could possibly ditch out.

"Shahahahaa," the Fishman sitting on the waysides barked. "This is the Grand Line, the sea that eats crews whole! This is but a taste of what it holds. Shahaha!"

*CLONK*

Arlong's laughter stilled when Abel's rifle smacked him on the head, hard. His expression showed a level of surprise and outrage and seemed frozen to that expression.

The fact that Abel kept smacking him with his rifle again and again was not helping. At all.

"YOU KNEW?! MOTHERFUCKER! I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP!" Abel screamed his lungs out, smacking Arlong's head all the while, serving only to further annoy the Fishman. "WEASELY ASSHOLE! RAT BASTARD! FISHFACE MCFUCKER!"

Zoro, Nami and the Tag Along Duo sweatdropped at this clearly suicidal behavior. He was really testing his luck at this point.

Arlong slowly moved to grab the rifle before it could strike him again. Then he slowly turned to look at the still furious visage of Abel, who was trying to wrestle his weapon out of the Fishman's firm grasp, futilely.

Then Arlong's fist clenched, to the sound of wood and metal getting crushed.

Silence befell the premises of the Going Merry, a metaphorical pin drop clearly audible as pieces of wood clattered onto the deck. After letting the moment sink in, Arlong released his hand and drew it back, letting Abel have a good look at the now crumpled barrel of the broken thing in his hands.

"... My rifle..." Abel whispered, for once seeming to lack a response to a situation presented to him. All everyone could do was watch in muted horror as he just turned and slowly made his way indoors. His eyes never left his ruined weapon.

Even Arlong seemed shocked. He'd spent his time under the assumption that a man like Abel didn't have a single depressed bone in his body. He was always either calm and collected, or erratic and really loud about it. There was no in-between.

Feeling a shiver run across his back, Arlong realized that a lot of malevolent gazes were drawn his way. Everyone, sans the two tag-alongs, was glaring murder in his direction.

Arlong felt a distinct need to defend his actions. So he stood up tall to do just that. "... He was asking for-"

"HAI-YAH!" A loud exclamation cut Arlong off, along with a pair of hard heels striking him on the side of the face like a pair of synchronized missiles. The force and momentum were enough to actually knock Arlong's considerable mass over and hit the deck. Literally, in this case.

Everyone's glares had turned to wide-eyed stares at Abel, as fiery as ever, dropkicking Arlong, a pretty big and just as strong Fishman, in the face.

"Why you..." Arlong snarled after comprehending what had just happened, only for a piece of metal to get jammed in his mouth.

"Break my shit, will you? Well, how about you eat it instead, you shit!" Abel snarled back, showing the ruined end of his rifle down Arlong's gullet, while faced with very strong protest that seemed to do nothing to deter his efforts.

As the struggle... escalated, if not in brutality then in ferocity on both sides, the rest of the Straw Hat Pirates, alongside the Mr/Ms Pair, remembered that yes, Abel might be a weakling, but damn if he couldn't be terrifyingly determined. He was putting up a considerable effort in tormenting Arlong, and to the shock of Nami and Usopp especially, he wasn't necessarily failing at it.

Abel Cain- Adam- _whatever,_ was kind of scary when mad.

"CHOKE ON IT! CHOKE ON THE RUIN OF YOUR MAKING!"

... Very mad.

Then Luffy started laughing and wanted to join the fun, at which point Nami had to step in and call this madness off. Getting Abel and Arlong separated took the efforts of the entire crew. Now, you'd think Arlong was the problem, but apparently, Abel was just _really_ mad and surprisingly hard to pin down.

All the while Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday looked on in terror, realizing just what kind of people they had accepted a ride from.

"Miss Wednesday?"

"Yes, Mr. 9?"

"I have regrets."

"As do I."

The two shared a suffering look with each other, only comforted that at least they weren't alone in this.

"Well... at least things can't get any worse... right?" Miss Wednesday tried to look for a silver lining, apparently not aware how tempting fate works. Because just then a chunk of ice the size of an eyeball fell onto the deck just in front of them with a loud *clack*.

Then some more ice chunks of varying sizes fell from the sky. And then some more. At this point, Nami had paid attention.

"Hail! Furl the sails, quickly!"

"YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" Was the last thing Abel said before a particularly large chunk of ice, the size of a large orange, fell on top of his head.

 **-o~O-O~o-**

 _ **Welp, I'm late again! These darn clocks, man, they are too fast! My depression can't keep up with that speed! SHAMEFUL! I needed to get this out, now, I said, and powered through!**_

 _ **So as punishment for my tardiness, I have severely crippled Abel's ability to fight, making more challenges to writing this story without him dying partway. Like a sane person!**_

 _ **But for real, I have a rough patch every now and then when motivation just seems alien to me. That, and this story really bites into my efforts to work on... projects of a more original and, hopefully, commercial variety. So the schedule of this little thing will slow down considerably at times. It can't be helped, with my myriad of mental aberrations.**_

 _ **But I will not abandon this story! I can't state that enough! I am too invested in making Abel suffer, so don't fear that. If you don't see anything for, like, half a year, THEN you can start losing hope.**_

 _ **\- Mourning The Loss Of Azazel[The Rifle], C-Hablerie**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE; NEVER GIVE UP**_

 **-o~O-O~o-**

 **Chapter 13: Terror At Whiskey Peak! Is This A New Adversary?!**

You are now someone else, at a slightly later time, and it's about fucking time! You get the feeling that someone has a lot to answer for. You don't know _who_ that someone could be, nor what they've done, but they barely feel worth wasting your very valuable time on.

Still, you _do_ feel like your boat ride lasted longer than it should've. You've no idea why. It's not that big of a deal anyway, though the constant gnawing that you're missing out something is just slightly infuriating. But hey, at least you're not that absolute red-spandex basketcase who's just mad for being irrelevant.

But that's unimportant. You've got a job to do, after all. Hence why you now, finally, find yourself at your target for the time, Whiskey Peak. A vile hive of scum and villainy. At least you think so. This bunch of bounty hunters may have some infamy around these parts of Paradise, but they most certainly don't have even a fraction of the class you hold yourself to. A certain breed of occupational pride.

Maybe that sounds entitled, but you'd rather see it as knowing your strong suits. Because the one you're wearing is impeccable. Though, in a dump like this, it just makes you feel overdressed. Not that you care, mind.

Still, this recon job was supposed to be simple as can be. Something to add to your laundry list of successes, of which there were many. You never failed an assignment. That would make you look bad to your bosses. Besides, you're a professional. Failure just doesn't sit well with you.

It was a simple gig. Just check on what Baroque Works was up to in one of their forefront locales. An amateur job, really, but that's what you do when you climb the ranks. You start at the bottom, though you'd like to think you've made a good impression at this point. You can practically taste the promotion in your future.

So to most, it would be a shock to find Whiskey Peak as a desolate ruin. Not you though. Not thanks to your "gift". You already knew what had happened before you set foot on land. Knowing things is your bread and butter, so it was a mighty coincidence that you gained such a useful ability upon coming to this world. But you don't believe in coincidences. No, this was more than that.

 _That_ particular crew had made landfall, not long ago either. You'd arrived just in time to see them off, in hiding, of course. No use revealing yourself unnecessarily. You knew that a few of them were responsible for why Whiskey Peak was so quiet. Especially _that one_. The one in the same boat as you, as it happens.

Still, the picture you saw is, as these things are, incomplete. You only know one side of the story, a certain line of the plot as it progressed that very night. Even you have blind spots, and that just won't do. Hence why it's now on your agenda to find and question some survivors. And who knows, maybe even dig up what irons a certain crocodile has in the fire.

As you search the mostly empty streets, you take a moment to appreciate the quiet, and the soft blow of wind on your carapace. You enjoy the small things in life, and not even stepping over a corpse or a few on the way negates that. Maybe on a man with a weaker stomach, but you don't deal in this business unless you can handle the gruesome parts. Handy, as you keep finding more bodies as you go. Not looking good so far, but you are not the quitting type. One of these corpses has to be more lively than the rest.

Eventually, your perseverance pays off. You find a breather trapped under a larger cadaver. Unconscious, injured, but quite alive. Enough for your purposes. You don't bother lifting the big lug. A waste of your efforts. Instead, you allow the corpse to serve a purpose as a restraint, whilst you slap the living bloke awake. Doesn't take but two firm taps to get him to come to. The guy looks, dizzy, confused, and once he spots you, a tad of fright enters his face.

Makes sense. You don't look like you're from around here. Though to be fair, from what you know of Grand Line so far, you may not fall that far out of the ballpark.

"W-who- what the hell are ya?!" The guy growls, though to you it sounds more like a meow of a kitten. You're used to things much more intimidating than this veritable waste of breath trying to act tough.

You tell him that's not important. What is important, is him telling you whatever it is you want to know, if he knows what's good for him. Starting at what exactly happened here.

You're an intimidating fellow, in a cool and mysterious way, so it doesn't take a lot for the guy to realize his circumstance, and start singing. You didn't even need to break a limb. Good start for the day.

And so you listen to the man's tale.

The story of how the Straw Hat Pirates arrived at Whiskey Peak.

Unfortunately, the bloke has little new to add that you either didn't already know. The Baroque Works had a plan to lull the Straw Hats in with a false sense of security, get them drunk with their booze and restrain them without much of a fight while they slept.

Yes. That went quite _splendidly_ , you remark.

You're sarcastic, obviously. Their plan was painfully see-through, and some of the Straw Hats took precautions. The navigator took advantage of her natural tolerance. The swordsman was simply too disciplined to fall for such weak attempts. And the Fishman was simply too durable, not to mention paranoid, to be felled so easily.

And then there was _him_. The man who preferred the garments of a lady. You won't act like you understand what that is about, but when it came to the chronicler, Baroque Works had screwed up. Big time.

To be honest, you were surprised as well. It's _that_ story you recall quite clearly, even if the man himself did not. Yes, the one calling himself Abel Cain had seen through the ruse instantly, knowing a thing or two about being fake as all hell.

However, due to the man still sulking over a damn rifle of all things, he remained silent. You knew some pretty petty people in your numerable lives, but this man was _really_ competing for that cup. You've never seen someone knowing about an obvious trap, and then walking straight into that trap and drinking themselves unconscious, on purpose. It was fairly impressive, in a really asinine way.

From there on, the one known as Abel Cain lost comprehension of time and self. Blacked out, everyone assumed, including the Baroque Works agents surrounding the Straw Hats.

But you knew better. And honestly, if not for your 'gift', you seriously doubt you'd have realized. You're enough of a man to admit that.

But let's not get it twisted. Abel Cain was most definitely out of the picture that night, just as planned.

Unfortunately for Baroque Works, that was exactly the problem.

Because when no one was paying attention, even if it seemed absolutely insane under how much activity there was at the time, the body of the one called Abel Cain had stood up and walked outside into the lowering sunlight.

Not a single soul had as much as blinked in reaction.

In the now, knowing what you know, you realize how absolutely terrifying that technique of his, 'Faint', can be. Even with your 'gift', you had to really strain to follow the proceedings. It was like he'd vanished from reality.

From that moment, as darkness and moonlight were cast over Whiskey Peak, an absolute massacre began. And most terrifyingly, almost no one noticed. The sadsack at your feet corroborates your accounts. One moment he was just shooting the shit with his mates, the next the guy next to him had a hole in his neck, then another, and soon enough everyone in the vicinity started resembling swiss-cheese more and more.

The sheer efficiency was a beautiful sight, and that's coming from you, "Mr. Efficiency-Is-My-Middle-Name". What these so-called "bounty hunters" saw was their friends and colleagues falling by the second, as if stabbed by the wind.

What you saw, was a man wearing a blue dress with matching artificial locks, drunkenly dancing an elegant tango, a true tornado of death. All while wearing a constant grin so dead and hollow, not even showing a hint of bloodlust or joy, you were certain it couldn't belong to any man.

To be frank, you never were one to judge a book by its cover. But in case of Abel Cain, you feel like you were gravely mistaken. The man might be the most dangerous 'weakling' you've ever known about.

The navigator had skulked about and stolen whatever valuables Baroque Works had stashed in Whiskey Peak. Roronoa Zoro and Arlong the Saw had torn Baroque Works apart in the night, beaten, yet mostly alive. But _**It**_ had slaughtered Baroque Works agents wholesale.

Eventually, Roronoa happened upon a group just as they were being torn asunder by a seemingly invisible force, dropping like flies, one after another. Even the infamous "Pirate Hunter" almost got a hole in him, if not for his impressive instincts. Maybe instinctually, maybe by luck, he'd struck _**It**_ on the head with his sheathed blade, the cursed one.

 _ **It**_ was truly knocked out for the rest of that ghastly night. But a lot of damage was done, and the dead men littered around you told a grizzly tale. At the end of it, Abel Cain had woken up in the morning with zero recollection of the events(or so it seemed, to you). Strangely Roronoa didn't bring it up, merely keeping a closer eye on the crossdresser.

The whimpering sod you were interrogating seems to be busy reliving that time. He'd been lucky Roronoa Zoro stepped him, or else he'd be as dead as the rest of his sorry lot. You conclude there's nothing more to be gained from this excuse of a man, but you try anyway. Nothing ventured, and all that.

You inquire him about his boss' plans.

"W-what?" the man whimpers, reeling from the memories of almost facing the grim reaper. "I-I'm just a Billion, man. I don't k-" You don't let him finish his useless sentence. Your heel silences him. He's not dead, you think, not that you care particularly.

You take a moment to check if he stained your shoes. No blood. Wonderful.

That was a bust. Still, you didn't truly expect much from one of the Billions. They were fodder, absolutely worthless for Intel. You had to find someone higher in the food chain.

And as luck would have it, two Officer Agents had been here that night. Still were. How were you so sure of that?

Because they had a run in with _**It**_ and hadn't gotten away unscathed. Recollecting what you know, you deduce their most likely location and set off. You will not leave here empty-handed, and you _will_ make one of these two talk.

It doesn't take you long. Your deduction was pretty much right on the money. You spot whom your intel reveals to you are Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine, two of Baroque Works' high brass. Mr. 5's (admittedly nice) coat is covered in small cuts, and he's bleeding. It is nothing major, however.

The same cannot be said about the woman in yellow. Ms. Valentine's left thigh is wrapped in gauze, the white wrappings tinted red. A lot of it. You recall back to their "fight". If it can be called that. The two had been completely blindsided by _**Its**_ assault but had enough experience to not die instantly. A lot of good that did them in the end.

Through Mr. 5's explosive Devil Fruit power, they'd located _**Its**_ location by the smoke caused by his explosion. Ms. Valentine had tried to squash _**It**_ with her own Devil Fruit power. Shame, that she forgot that falling while weighing 10,000 kilograms didn't make you immune to piercing damage.

 _ **It**_ had simply propped Abel Cain's rapier on the ground and let Ms. Valentine impale her own thigh. Afterward, the blade was swiftly collected, and It vanished as if bored of the company, leaving the female agent bleeding heavily. You know enough about stabbing by proxy that you're pretty sure it nicked a major artery, hence why they haven't left yet.

But enough of the past. As you clear your throat to announce yourself, you put on your business face. Time for work.

"Shit!" Mr. 5 curses(damn these code names a droll), and pivots to face you, instantly alert and prepping for a fight. Smart.

You raise a hand in a placating gesture. You're in no mood for a fight with beaten dogs.

The remark isn't taken kindly, not that you care. "And just who the hell are you?! You with the Straw Hats too?" Mr. 5 questions as Miss Valentine slowly takes a stand. You spot her injured leg wobbling under her own weight, but it soon passes and she straightens her posture to seem better than she is. Devil Fruit Bullshit, no doubt.

You don't scoff. That's not you. But still, the assertion is laughable, and you say as much. No, who you're with is of little merit. But as for you, and you make it a point to hold out your finger exactly at the duo, your company matters quite a lot. So why not answer some questions, like the well-trained dogs you are.

"Tch," Mr. 5 scoffs, picking his nose, and just like that you lose all professional respect for this man. But you recognize the gesture for what it truly is. A preparation to attack. "You've got some nerve, condescending us like that. Do you even know who we are."

Condescending? A statement of fact, you think. Still, you inform them that you know quite well that they are Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine, Officer Agents of Baroque Works, and direct underlings to Mr. Zero. And you have inquiries as of the plans of their boss.

"Tch, you've got some balls, you freak."

Crude, but not factually untrue, you remark dryly, as you magic a playing card, a six of diamonds, from your sleeve. Of course, it's not real magic, because magic is bullshit. You were kind of hoping for this response, really. It's been quite a dull day.

"What, you going to give me a papercut?" the man mocks cockily.

"MR. 5!" Miss Valentine screams, but it's too little too late. It happens quite fast.

In an instant, the Six of Diamonds in your hand is an AK-47 that's unloading piping hot lead into the explosive fellow in front of you. Miss Valentine barely manages to jump high into the air to avoid the volley of death. Mr. 5's body jitters with the rhythm of your rapid fire for a hot second before you cease.

"Ugh..." The bastard is still breathing and standing. Tough son of a bitch. He shakily aims a hand your way, prepped to flick one of those exploding boogies at you. "Why yo-"

A crash silences him. When you stopped firing you flung your deck of cards in the air, and your item repository came crashing down on his already weakened frame. You're absolutely certain he won't be getting up from that. The red leaking from under your Brawlsoleum gives you a sense of satisfaction. An efficient takedown is the best takedown.

"MR. 5!" The yellow nag yells in fury, and you quickly jump out of the way as a crater forms from where you once stood. You slip your Six of Diamonds in your sleeve and pull out the Ace of Diamonds instead. Then you swing and whack the broad in the face with your trusty cuestick. The hit doesn't knock her back but offers you a chance to plant the thin end of your cue stick right on her thigh wound. "AAAAAH!"

Ignoring her agonized screams, you very politely ask her what Mr. Zero has in the works, and maybe, if she sings like a good little canary, you won't make a second meat pancake today.

"Y-You monster!" She says shakily, trying so hard to hide the pain.

Quite. You twist the slightly abrasive end of your cue stick, causing a spike of pain. Careful now, you say. One good turn and that wound will open right good. Bleeding to death is ever so unpleasant, you remark conversationally. The least you can do is be civil.

What are Baroque Works working on, you ask again firmly, making sure the blond broad understands you're not fucking around. What is Mr. Zero's goal?

"I-I don- GAAA!" A twist. This is getting quite old, real fast. "Okay! Okay! B-Baroque Works, w-we're t-trying to-to force a c-coup in A-Alabasta. T-To make a p-paradise for p-people like us!"

A takeover of an ancient, royal country that's part of the World government? That's what that leathery-name-sake bastard was up to? By the Medium, your boss was going to have a field day with this. The try-hard wasn't even being original!

You lift the tip of your cue stick, allowing Miss Valentine to regain some calm and composure, for what good that is for.

Now, was that so hard, you question. It's a simple question, not a condescending one. Honestly, some people just want it the hard way. But you got what you came here for. It's time to make a call. You go collect and pocket your deck of cards, only briefly glancing at the very much dead human pancake you made.

"H-hey, w-where are you g-going?!" Miss Valentine yells after you. "I-I'll be killed if the boss finds out!"

Shame, you say. Better not be discovered then.

"You can't just leave me here! You did this! Take responsibility!" Ah, now that her life is no longer in danger she's trying to act tough. You stop, and she goes quiet. You glance over your shoulder. She flinches, you note. So much for that spirit.

You give her a measured gaze. To be frank, that is not my problem, you say coolly. You start walking away, giving one final piece of your mind.

You want out of here alive? Crawl.

No more yelling follows, and soon you're out of hearing range. This was a bit messier than you'd expected, but at least it made you slightly less bored. At least it hadn't been a wasted trip. Your boss should be pleased enough with this.

You've worked for some crazy individuals before(or some variation of you, at least) who could stab or atomize you to death for being lacking, and somehow the trend seems to stick to you like gum on a bottom of a shoe. After a murder-stabby psychopath and a genocidal monarch, somehow your current source of employment seems like an improvement.

Marginally.

"Well, you're a mean one." For a moment you half expect a tacked-on, non-sensical reference to a furry green _thing_ , before you realize how asinine the idea is. At least as long as that certain crazy isn't around, which he isn't. You'd get a headache just by proximity if he was.

You still, turning to your new company. Not really unexpected, though you had thought she'd left after confronting the Straw Hats. This is an encounter you had wanted to avoid if at all possible.

She stood a small distance away, standing tall and sure of herself. Arms crossed under her chest, she was smiling, as if she knew she was not in any danger. You knew who this dame was.

Miss All-Sunday.

"My, my. My fame precedes me," the woman says as if flattered.

To yourself, you despair on how much easier this could have been. As a purveyor of information on those in similar straits as you, you should already know more on Baroque Works, seeing as one Outsider like yourself is in Crocodile's employ. Unfortunately, it had to be the one who you just can't get anything on.

Following numerous plotlines all across the world at once is a task enough by itself, but this one fucker makes your brain try to self-destruct whenever you even try to glean anything from them. Goddamn crazies.

But you do know something about this dangerous dame. And you, in your ever-present preparedness, took measures for this possibility.

Yes, it quite does. And as you say that, you reach into your inner suit pocket and pull out a clearly aged piece of paper. It's a bit old, but it's hard to miss the similarities, you say as you hold it out(it being a wanted poster), revealing to the dame that you know her _true_ identity.

Nico Robin.

Her smile instantly becomes less sincere but remains mostly in place. Classy. You can appreciate keeping appearances.

"And just who might you be, Mr. Black?" she asks, keeping that polite facade. "It's rude to not to introduce yourself, and now you've gone and robbed me of that courtesy. Not to mention how you've been snooping about affairs that do not concern you. Quite rude indeed."

... She's not wrong. You've been quite impolite, and as a professional, you do not miss how her arms raise to a strange stance. You can read subtext well enough to know that this is what you wanted to avoid in the first place. It seems like a battle to escape is in your future.

You 'magic' a hand of cards in one hand and an Ace of Diamonds in your other. Soon enough you hold your Ultra-Violence Cuestick and give it a theatrical twirl. Your violence-prone tools of the trade in hand, you think the least you could do was give the dame your name. It's only proper, and not likely to matter in the long run as long as you don't give too much away. So you introduce yourself.

For a moment you consider giving the classy dame your code name, instead of your real one, but soon thought better of it. You'll just give her both.

You're the Draconian Dignitary, Diamonds Droog. A stone-cold professional who will be taking his leave now.

The dame gives you a wicked smile. "We'll see about that."

And so begins an absolutely epic showdo-

 **-o~O-O~o-**

"-swear to GOD, if- OH SHIT! I DID IT! Interception, you lazy motherfucker! How dare you leave an awesome guy like me hanging?! It's been over half a year! Have you no professional pride?! So get your depressed brain out of your ass-"

Mr. Zero, or Sir Crocodile as some knew him as, forced a deep, frustrated sigh. Just one day, one God-forsaken day, he wished Mr. Bloody Sunday would shut his infernal mouth.

"HEY, I take offense to that! I got a reputation to live up to! I'm the- HEY WAIT NO STOP-"

 **-o~O-O~o-**

 _ ***ahem***_

 _ **...**_

 _ **So... Someone has some explaining to do.**_

 _ **First of all, apologies that this took... uhh... *Nervously glances at the calendar* ... Yeah. This took WAY too long to make. At first, I just got stuck and didn't know how to proceed, then writer's block hit, and then I forgot about this for a while because I'm a pro at pushing the deadline...**_

 _ **But now I decided: Okay, fuck this. I'm starting this chapter over and will skip over most of the Whiskey Peak Arc, and introduce some new characters while I'm at it. Is it cheap? Maybe.**_

 _ **But honestly, most of the chapter would be gone anyway due to Abel being a petty jerkwad and getting blackout drunk, so instead, you get someone else's second-hand notes on the night that was Terror At Whiskey Peak.**_

 _ **New updates will come. I just can no longer promise the frequency of them. And for that, I will take all the blame, alongside my mental problems.**_

 _ **Also, confirmation before I leave you be, for now. Abel is not the only individual prancing about in the Grand Line. Not by a longshot.**_

 _ **\- A Member of The Midnight Crew, C-Hablerie**_


End file.
